He stiffened even more beneath my fingers. “I’m not…” he broke off, laughing again, and leaned in even closer. So close it would take little to no effort from me to close the distance between us and find out if he was still the best I’d ever had. “Your tastes have changed that much, huh?”
My heart thudded against my ribs, stealing the breath right out of my lungs, making my legs tremble with weakness. Or had he been the one to do that to me?
Moaning, my stomach tightened, and every nerve in my body demanded I rise on my tiptoes to taste his lips. Instead, I fisted my hands in his shirt, met his stare, and said: “No, you’re the one who’s changed that much. You’re an asshole now.”
“And you’re a bitch now,” he shot back, his tone hard.
I shrugged. “I’m okay with that.”
“So am I.” And just like that, whatever spell he’d been holding over both of us snapped, and he pushed off the wall with both hands. “But, hey. I’ll see you tomorrow. Enjoy your dinner, it’s your favorite…provided that hasn’t changed, too.”
I let out a breath as I watched him go, and sagged against my house, breathing heavily. As he left, all I could think was: Damn it, I should have kissed him.
Eight
Ben
I shouldn’t have gone to Sarah’s last night.
Ever since she told me she’d thought I cheated on her, I’d had a ball of rage roiled up in my chest, pushing me to confront her every chance I got so I could show her just how much of an asshole I really was. After all, she’d called me one, and she loved to be right.
I’d once loved to make her happy.
When we’d been together, I’d been the most loyal, loving, dedicated boyfriend in this whole fucking world. Anything she wanted? I gave her. Anything she needed? I found. I’d gone out of my way to take care of her, and to show her she never had to doubt me or my love. Never, not once, had I given her even a tiny reason to think that I might ruin that by cheating on her.
Not. Fucking. Once.
So to hear that she had “seen” me with another girl, and then packed her bags and left without telling me why she’d needed “space” to “think” for a week—something I’d given her despite my confusion, because, again, I gave her whatever the hell she wanted—was like a blow to the balls with those high-heeled shoes of hers she loved to wear despite how impractical they were in the office. To call me pissed off was the understatement of the century.
I was livid.
Typing quickly, I documented the details of Liz’s gruesome murder, and the entire crime scene, pausing only when I sensed someone come up to my desk. Since I couldn’t sleep, I’d come in early to get some work done. I’d been one of the only people in the office until now. Lifting my head, I frowned at my best friend. “What are you doing here so early?”
Hernandez scratched his head, looking at me weirdly. “It’s not that early. It’s eight.”
“What?” I glanced at my phone, lighting up the screen. Sure enough, he was right. I’d been here for two hours already, and I hadn’t even noticed the room slowly filling up with people. On their own accord, my eyes travelled to Sarah’s desk. Her chair was empty. “I didn’t notice.”
“I could tell. You didn’t hear me calling your name, asking if you wanted coffee.” He set a cup on my desk, and slid it toward me. “So, I took that to be a yes.”
“Hell, yes.” I picked it up, kicked back in my chair, and grinned up at the man who’d been there for me for longer than I could remember. “Thanks, man.”
“Anytime.” He perched on the edge of my desk. “What’s up?”
“Nothing, just catching up on some paperwork.”
Hernandez flinched. “The murder case?”
“Yeah.”
Hernandez readjusted himself on the desk, smoothing his khakis. He wore a plaid button up shirt and a tie, with his brownish-black hair spiked and looking a little wild. “How’d your new partner handle her first violent case? We don’t get many of those around here.”
I set my pen down a little too hard, immediately cursing myself. I was showing too much. Giving too much away. It was no one’s business how I felt about her—not even my best friend’s. “Fine. She’s pretty tough.”
That, at least, was the truth.
“Good.” He glanced toward the door, running his fingers through his hair. “Speak of the devil…”
I looked up with way too much enthusiasm for my liking. Today she wore a tight-fitting grey dress that hugged every curve of her body. One I’d tried so damn hard to forget. Her long brown hair fell over her shoulders in thick waves, and she’d painted her lips a dark red today. Her medium skin shone with what could only be magical powers, and she walked with a grace that put every other woman out there to shame.
I couldn’t look away.
“Fuck me,” I muttered.
Hernandez grunted in agreement. “She looks good. today”
I didn’t agree. I didn’t need to. “You got any hot cases?”
“Nah.” Hernandez looked away from Sarah. Good. I’d been this close to punching the man who had been at my side my whole life because he’d practically been drooling over her. “We got a case yesterday, but it was a dud. Nothing on the books for now.”
“How’s Thomas doing?”
Hernandez winced. “Enthusiastically optimistic, as always.”
Samuel Thomas was a young recruit who told anyone and everyone he met that he intended to change the world. His optimism was cute, if not annoying. He was fresh outta school, and ready to take on the world. In my opinion, he and Sarah would have made a much better pairing than splitting up me and Hernandez like the captain had.
Sarah came over, eyeing me cautiously. After our fight last night, guess it wasn’t too weird she might be nervous around me. “Hey, Hernandez.”
Hernandez nodded at her, shooting me a look out of the corner of his eye. “Good morning, Lopez. How are you doing?”
“Great,” she said, flatly. She glanced at me again, the dark circles under her eyes even more prominent than yesterday. “Any calls this morning?”
“Not yet, I’ve just been typing up my report on Liz’s case.”
She nodded once. “I’ll do the same, then.”
“Okay.” I hesitated, my grip on the coffee mug flexing. “Sarah?”
She stiffened, and turned around slowly. “Yes?”
“I meant what I said last night.”
Biting her lip, she darted a quick look at Hernandez, then nodded jerkily. “Okay.”
And with that, she walked away.
Again, I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
It was becoming an annoying habit.
“What did you say last night?” Hernandez asked in a stage whisper.
“That I wanted to start over.” I leaned back in my chair, sighing. “We’re partners now, for better or worse, and I choose to try to make it better. To move past the…past.”
Hernandez pursed his lips. “Not a bad choice.”
“I also found out why she left. I’ll fill you in when there’s no ears around.”
After glancing around the office, Hernandez stood. “Garyowen’s, at nine?”
“Deal.”
Once I was alone again, I glanced at Sarah. She sat at her desk, waiting for her computer to load. As she waited, she tapped her fingers on her thigh. She’d painted them maroon. For some reason, I couldn’t look away from her fingers as they tapped. When I finally did, I locked eyes with her, and got caught dead-ass staring at my ex.
She blinked at me, confusion—or perhaps another emotion I couldn’t name—coloring her cheeks. I lifted a brow at her cockily, trying to play it off, and turned back to my own computer.
I needed to pull my shit together.
Nine
Sarah
This whole thing was a horrible idea.
When I’d gotten home from a long, tension filled, awkward day at work that started with Ben making eyes at me, Grace had been there with Mo
m like usual.
What hadn’t been usual, though, was Grace insisting I shower, change, and go on a blind date with this great guy that “You would just love.” Though I tried to protest, and insist that I would rather stay home with my mom, like usual, Grace had said she could wait for the locks guy to come—I’d custom ordered locks to keep Mom from wondering off in the middle of the night—and had all but booted me out of my own house.
So. Here I was. Waiting for some dude I didn’t know to show up…or not. Knowing my luck, the dude would stand me up. Then again, if he never showed, I could go home.
Ugh.
What if the locksmith had an issue installing the locks? What if my mother had another episode like she’d had in the middle of the night last night? Sleep had been hard to come by lately, and so had peace of mind, so the last thing I needed was to be here, waiting for some guy to show up so I could find out he was just as disappointingly selfish as all the other men I’d dated. But Grace had asked, and she was doing a lot for me, so I went.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced down. It was a call from an unknown number. Grimacing, I picked up. “Hello?”
“Hello, Sarah.” The voice on the other end was crackly and broke up, so I could barely hear him.
I pressed my hand to my free ear, leaning down a bit to hear better. “Yes, is this Derek?”
“No.” A short laugh. “Don’t you recognize my voice, babe?”
I froze. My whole world, everything, froze. That laugh. That cold, careless tone… No. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not after I’d finally gotten away from him. My heart unfroze, coming to life with painful acceleration. “How did you get this number?”
“Who the fuck is Derek?” Vinnie asked, anger seeping from every word.
I ignored his question. “You’re not supposed to call me. You’re breaking the Protection from Abuse Order I filed against you, and if you think I won’t report it to Judge—”
“Go ahead. I’m not scared.” He laughed again. “But you should be, and so should this Derek guy. You belong to me, and I don’t share what’s mine. You know that.”
My stomach dropped. So many memories of him “punishing” me because some guy had checked me out came over me. Familiar, chilling and all unwelcome. “I’m not yours.”
“I bet you look really pretty tonight. Are you wearing a dress?”
I shivered, glancing around the restaurant. Was he here? Could he see me now? I ignored his questions again. He was just trying to get a rise out of me. It wouldn’t work. He no longer held any power over me, and it was time for him to realize it. “How did you get out of jail?”
He laughed, not answering me.
After a period of silence, I broke it. “Don’t call me again.”
“See you soon.”
I tightened my grip on the phone. “Then you’ll go to jail.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” He laughed again. That sound, that horrible sound, sent a shiver down my spine. “You shouldn’t have gone home. It was too easy to find you. But, hey, for what it’s worth? That color of purple looks amazing on you, babe.”
Oh my God. He was here. He was actually here.
Hanging up, I stood, trembling. Spinning in a circle, I scanned the crowd, looking for him. Was he in this room? Watching? Planning? Plotting? Despite myself, and the strength I’d recently found after leaving him…I started to panic. Picturing his face on every man’s face in this restaurant, sure he was about to come out and take me. “Oh God.”
“Sarah?”
I swung around, my hand on my purse, which held my holstered pistol. I fully intended to aim it at Vinnie, if he was stupid enough to come at me in public, but it wasn’t him. It was someone else who haunted me, but in an entirely different way. I grabbed his suit jacket, hanging on tightly. “He called me, Ben.”
“Who called—?” Ben started to ask, but then he broke off and stepped closer. “You mean, him?”
I nodded frantically, swallowing hard “He found me. He’s going to come for me, and this time, he won’t stop until I’m dead. He promised me one day he’d find me and kill me, and now he has. He’s going to kill me.”
Ben rested his hands on my shoulders. They were big. Warm. “I won’t let that happen.”
“You can’t stop him. No one can.” I held onto him tighter, panic taking over me. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t process. Couldn’t—just couldn’t. “I’m going to die, just like Liz. He’s going to find me, and kill me, and then you’ll file the report.”
“Never.” Ben let out a growl, pulled me into his arms, and hugged me close. I knew it was bad to do this, to lean on him like this, but there was no way in hell I was letting go of him right now. I needed to know I wasn’t alone. I…I needed help. “I won’t let him. I swear to you, I will protect you from him, and I’ll have your back.”
I pulled back, staring into his dark green eyes. The way he watched me, with his arms around me tight, almost made me believe he could keep me safe. That he wanted to keep me safe, when I’d done nothing but be standoffish to him since we became partners. “Ben…”
He shifted closer, his grip on me changing ever so slightly. “Yeah?”
“I—”
“Sarah?” an unfamiliar male voice said from behind us.
I spun and stared at him, breathing heavily. There were so many emotions swirling inside me that I couldn’t tell one apart from the other. Long lost feelings for Ben. Fear of Vinnie. Uncertainty about how to proceed from here on out. “D-Derek?”
Ben stepped in front of me protectively, his hand on his pistol. “Who the hell is this?”
“It’s not him,” I said quickly, resting a hand on his arm.
Ben immediately went at ease.
“Not who?” Derek hesitated. “Is something wrong?”
“N-Nothing.” I stepped around Ben, trying to smile at the poor guy and failing horribly. “This is my partner, Detective Rollins.”
They shook hands.
As Ben pulled back, I forced a smile. “I’m sorry, Derek, but can we get a raincheck? Something with…work…came up. That’s why he’s here.”
Derek shifted his weight on his feet. “Of course. Sure. I’ll call you?”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“Nice to meet you, man.” Ben wrapped an arm around my shoulder, nodding once at Derek as he led me toward the door.
I should shrug free, pull loose of his hold…but I didn’t want to. For just a second, I wanted to feel safe, like someone had my back. For just a second, I didn’t want to feel so alone in this fight against Vinnie…and then after that second passed, I’d go back to being the strong, independent woman I’d become.
The one who didn’t want or need a man to save me.
Ten
Ben
Seeing Sarah like this—shaking, terrified, nervous—scared the fuck out of me. I wasn’t too manly to admit when I was scared, and this was one of those times. Sarah was strong. She brought new meaning to the word independent, and she had never been hesitant to tell me to screw off when I deserved it. She’d come home, ignored all the doubt from the guys at the precinct, and even worked through the fact that her captain had paired her with her ex to try to scare her off.
She’d stayed. She’d fought. She’d won.
But now, with one phone call from a guy who would be better off behind bars then out on the streets, she was so terrified she couldn’t stop shaking.
Yeah, that scared me. How bad was this guy?
If I was going to help keep her safe, if I was going to guard her back, then I needed to know exactly what I was dealing with. I led her toward my car, but she balked. “I drove here.”
“We’ll get your car tomorrow.”
Her eyes widened. “Tomorrow?”
“You’re spending the night with me at my house.”
“No.” She pulled free, shaking her head. “I can’t.”
“Not like that. I just—”
“No.” She crossed her
arms. She was steadier on her feet now. “I can’t just not go home. I have to go back.”
Clearly, I’d overstepped my boundaries. I hadn’t been coming on to her, though. Just trying to help by making sure she wasn’t alone tonight. “Okay, fine. Then you’ll go home.”
She hugged herself, staring at me with pinched lips.
“Could I maybe follow you home?” I hesitated. “Just to make sure you’re safe. I know you can take care of yourself, but—”
She nodded jerkily. “I’d like that, actually. I’m not being a bitch, I just…I have to go home, is all.”
I hadn’t expected her quick agreement, or her words. Why was it so important she go home? “Okay, I’ll walk you to your car, then follow you.”
She headed toward her Ford, but pulled up short. “Wait, were you meeting someone here?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“But if you had a date—”
“I didn’t.” I tried not to focus on the fact that she had. She wasn’t mine, and hadn’t been mine for years, yet I couldn’t deny the hint of jealousy I felt that she’d been at Garyowen to meet another dude tonight. “It was just Hernandez. I’ll let him know something came up.”
“Don’t tell him about this.” She bit her lower lip, nibbling it like she always did when she was nervous. “I don’t want everyone knowing about Vinnie.”
Vinnie. That was his name. That was such a douche name. “I’ll only tell people if you ask me to, but them knowing isn’t a bad thing. The more people you have looking out for you, the better.”
She shook her head. “No.”
I didn’t say anything. Just waited for her to unlock her car, then opened the driver’s door for her after it beeped twice. I checked inside her car to make sure it was safe before moving aside. “I’ll follow you. Give me a minute to get to my car, and lock your doors.”
“I will.” She slid inside, shooting me a look under her lashes. “Believe it or not, I know how to protect myself, Rollins.”
On the Line (Out of Line Book 7) Page 4