by R. E. Butler
She lifted her head slowly and pushed her hair from her eyes. Then she reached for his mouth, her finger grazing the tip of his fang.
“I thought you might bite me.”
He closed his eyes for a moment until he was sure that his lion wasn’t going to just pounce on her. When he was sure he was fully in control of his beast, he looked at her and said, “I wouldn’t do that without making sure you understood what it meant.”
“You told me it’s like marriage.”
“Yeah, but you can’t divorce a mate, sweetness. Once I mark you as mine, that’s it for me. You might be able to walk away from me, but my heart would be yours forever.”
“That’s a bad thing?” She arched an eyebrow and wiggled on him, his cock springing to life.
He groaned. “Not remotely. But there’s stuff we should talk about.”
She gave him a long look, seeming to see right through him. Finally, she said softly, “Like the reason you didn’t take your pants off?”
Chapter Six
Em didn’t like putting Diesel on the spot, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that she was entirely naked, and he was only undressed from the waist up. The first time they’d made love on the couch, he’d pushed his jeans down far enough to free his cock and that was it. She’d thought at the time that it might be because of where they were, and he was just too hurried. But then he’d carried her to the bedroom, and they’d made love a second time, and it hadn’t escaped her notice that nothing about his clothing had changed.
Which reminded her of the twinge of pain she’d witnessed.
He opened his mouth but didn’t say anything, his eyes shadowing and his mouth drawing into a frown. She put her fingertip on his lips and said, “I know something’s wrong with one or both of your legs. I can’t imagine that you think I’m your forever girl but you don’t want to let me see what’s up with your body. I brought you home with me, Diesel. I might not entirely understand this whole heart-match thing, but I get it enough to know that I want to be with you. And not just because you sexed me up so good.”
She stopped speaking and waited for him to say something.
He cast his gaze to the ceiling and let out a gruff sigh.
“I fell out of a tree when I was younger. Shifters have a higher rate of healing than humans, but it gets stronger once we’re able to shift. I was too young to shift. The break was so bad that I needed multiple surgeries. By the time I could shift, the damage was permanent and no amount of shifting made it better. And trust me, I tried.”
He went quiet again. She rested her head on her upturned hand and laid her free hand over his heart. She could feel the steady thump-thump under her palm, and a part of her felt grounded to it and even more connected to him.
“I’m not high ranked in the pride. My leg makes me a liability in just about every aspect of being a male of worth.”
Em frowned. “I didn’t understand half of what you just said.”
He rolled to his side taking her with him, their bodies separating. She rested her head on his biceps and he placed his hand on the curve of her waist.
“The pride males are ranked by strength and ability. When we’re teens and can shift, we start rank fights. Every male starts at the bottom, which we call an omega position – the lowest in rank. My leg aches because the muscles are screwed up from the injury and the surgeries. Even in my shift, I can’t run as fast as other males. So while I’m a good fighter in both forms, I can’t keep up with fast game and that means I can only rise so high in the ranks.”
She ran her thumb along the swell of his bottom lip and rubbed her cheek on his biceps. “Lions are pretty wrapped up in rank?”
He nodded. “There are females who only care about a male’s rank. If he’s not whole in some way, if he’s low ranked because of it, then they won’t consider him for a mate.”
She stared at him for a long moment, sorting through what he’d said. It was far and away from anything she’d ever heard, but since she knew jack squat about shifters, she had no idea if it was the same for every type. Not that it mattered. Diesel was a lion and she was already crazy about him. Already half in love. Already entirely ready to spend the rest of her life with him.
Then something dawned on her. He’d said there were two ways lions found their mate – with a match-maker or through fate. If a lady lion wouldn’t mate with a guy who was physically flawed and low ranked, then that meant that the match-maker wouldn’t be able to do her job.
“Hey, Diesel?” she murmured softly, tilting his face until he was forced to meet her gaze. “Were you mate-matched?”
* * *
The question that Diesel hadn’t wanted to answer, had been scared as hell to ask himself, was whether his gorgeous, sweet, amazing mate would care that he’d tried to enter into a contracted mating a month earlier. He’d known he couldn’t hide his injury forever. Hell, keeping his damn jeans on while they made love had ensured she’d ask. It wasn’t just that he was ashamed he’d tried to arrange a mating, choosing to not wait for his heart-match, but he was afraid once Emberly learned that the lioness had refused him on sight because of his leg that she’d think he was too flawed to be her mate.
It was one thing to be left at the proverbial altar by a female he’d just met through a match-maker; it was an entirely different, heart-breaking thing if his heart-match would follow suit.
But deep down, he knew he couldn’t start off their mating with a lie. It was bad enough he didn’t know what it was like to be fully naked with her. That she’d think she couldn’t trust him was something he wasn’t willing to risk.
With a grunt, he rolled away from her and planted his feet on the carpet. Then he stood slowly and turned to face Emberly where she lay, half-covered by the sheet. She rose onto her elbow and tucked a lock of silky hair behind her ear, her brows raised in curiosity.
He decided to strip himself bare, not only physically but emotionally.
Shoving his jeans down his legs, he freed himself and straightened slowly, avoiding the urge to angle his body away so she couldn’t see the scars. He closed his eyes, fisting his hands involuntarily, and said, “I’m lonely. Or I was until I met you. It’s hard to be a male in a group where rank and physical prowess matter more than anything else. The day I met the female I was arranged to mate, her father saw my limp and asked about it. The moment they heard it was an old injury and not going to get any better, neither he nor his daughter wanted me to be part of their family.”
He let out a growl and dropped his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “Her father suggested I was too weak to be an effective mate. Too damaged to be a protector. I honestly wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out. I hoped I might find my heart-match someday, and that she might be willing to see past my flaw to what’s in here.” He tapped the space over his heart, where Emberly was already firmly entrenched.
He’d told Valerie’s father that he’d die for his mate and future children, but the male had scoffed at him. While that had been a true statement, now that he actually had his heart-match, he knew he wouldn’t just die for Emberly, he’d fucking lay waste to an entire city to see her safe. Nothing would keep him from keeping her safe – that much he was sure of – and aching leg or not, he’d stand by her side forever.
If she’d have him.
He hadn’t realized he’d closed his eyes again until he felt a soft touch along the largest of the scars on his bad leg from one of the first surgeries. There were scars from surgeries that crisscrossed each other like a map of pain. Opening his eyes slowly, he saw Emberly had moved to kneel on the bed in front of him, her head bowed and her fingers following each scar. He held his breath, his heart pounding in his ears. He didn’t want her to pity him, but he wanted her to understand that he’d never expected anyone to find him attractive out of his clothes. It took a lot for him not to move away from her touch.
Shit.
He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what.
* *
*
Emberly felt the uneven surface of the old scar. It ran from the middle of his thigh down toward his ankle. The break must have been profound to require a surgery that would flay open his leg like a fish. She couldn’t imagine the pain from the injury, let alone what had come after the surgery. There were more scars, which she suspected were from other surgeries.
While part of her was sympathetic, she’d didn’t pity him. Not really. He was the victim of an accident that had clearly taken a toll on him physically. She didn’t understand how anyone could look at his honed body – lickable abs, a sexy V at his hips, and broad shoulders leading to thick biceps – and believe he was flawed.
She trailed her fingers over every scar, then bent and pressed her lips to the biggest one. He sucked in a harsh breath and she heard his knuckles crack as he tightened his fists at his sides. She straightened and moved her fingers up his thigh in a lazy pattern, smiling as his cock twitched when she drew near it. Her gaze followed the happy trail up to his navel, past the rows of abs that made her mouth water, to the flat discs of his nipples and the cords that stood out on his neck. His whole body was tense and a growling purr stuttered from his chest.
She finally met his gaze. His eyes were no longer caramel but dark gold. The smell she’d thought was cologne was stronger now, and she wondered if it was his lion. Whatever it was, she found the scent enticing, her body heating as she stared into his eyes.
“I don’t think you’re flawed. I think you’re the sexiest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on, and you straight up rock my world. I’m sorry you were hurt when you were young, but the only thing that I care about is whether your leg hurts right now because you’re so tense.”
He let out a breath and she realized he’d been holding it.
“I’m good.”
She cupped his face, her eyes stinging. “I brought you here because I’m crazy about you, and I think if I’d left the bar with my friends before I met you that I’d always feel like something was missing from my life. I think that lion girl was an idiot for walking away from you, but I’m glad she did because it means you and I get to be together.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you.”
She tilted her head with a frown. “You did. You didn’t go through with the mate-match.”
“I would have if she hadn’t rejected me. It kills me that I might have lost out on knowing you. I shouldn’t have tried to go into an arranged mating.”
“So it was fate’s way of looking out for you. For both of us. I’m not holding that against you, so I don’t want you to, either. We should be able to put whatever we did before we met behind us and move forward.” She touched the side of her neck. “Is that why you didn’t bite me?”
“I couldn’t bind you to myself as my mate without you knowing everything.”
“Can you do it now?”
His eyes narrowed. “Do what now?”
“Bind us together.”
“We don’t have to do it right now,” he said. “I’m still yours and you’re still mine, with or without the mating mark.”
“I want you to.”
She scooted back on the bed and pushed the sheet aside, baring herself.
He put one knee on the bed and paused. “Are you sure? Once I mark you as my mate, I can’t take it back. We’ll be bound as if we’re married.”
“I know. I want that. I want you. All of you.”
A purr filled the air, his eyes that pretty, golden color once more.
“Me too, sweetness.”
Chapter Seven
Diesel looked toward the window, able to see the sun rising through the half-open blinds. Emberly was snuggled against him, breathing deeply in sleep. He’d dozed for a while, but he’d felt like the entire night had been a dream and he kept waking to make sure the petite brunette was still in his arms. Which she was, of course. He thanked his lucky stars that she’d been willing to look past his injury. And he’d realized something as he’d witnessed her acceptance. She honestly didn’t seem to care. Maybe because she was human, she didn’t put as much stock in how fast he could run in his shift. Whatever the reason, he was glad for it, and promised himself that he’d stop thinking he was flawed.
If Emberly could get over his injury, then he could, too.
It wouldn’t be easy to get past so many years of feeling less-than thanks to something he couldn’t control, but he wanted to be a good mate for her, and she wouldn’t want to be with a male who couldn’t move forward.
Speaking of moving forward, he wondered about their living arrangements. And work. He didn’t have to worry about the bar until Tuesday night, so at least they had a few days to get to know each other. But she probably had to go to work at some point. And shit, he’d have to meet her parents. And didn’t she have a wedding to go to?
He closed his eyes and focused on the sound of her breathing, matching the slow inhale and exhale, feeling drowsiness take over.
“Ah, damn it.”
Diesel’s eyes popped open and he sat up abruptly when he realized that Emberly wasn’t laying on him anymore. She was sitting at the edge of the bed, looking at her phone. She met his gaze and made a face. “I was supposed to be at a bridal breakfast twenty minutes ago. I just got a nasty text from the maid of honor.” She typed swiftly and then set the phone on the nightstand. She crawled back into his arms and snuggled close with a sigh.
He stretched out and held her close, slowly stroking and down her back. “Do you need to leave?”
“I told Kathy that I overslept so they should go on without me. I just have to be at the church by three. The wedding is at four.”
“I would have set an alarm if I’d known you needed to be somewhere.”
“Meh.” She yawned and rubbed her cheek on his chest. “I totally forgot about it. Chloe left in such a rush at the bar – otherwise I might’ve remembered it. But honestly, I was way, way too tired to get up any earlier than this. We were having too much fun last night.”
She smiled at him, tilting her face up to his for a kiss, which he willingly gave, then she settled against him with a yawn. They talked quietly for a while then showered, and while he was drying off and looking for his clothes out in the family room, he heard her answer the phone.
“Hi Mom. What’s up? Um, no, I don’t need a ride to the wedding. Why? What? No, I told you I didn’t need a date, for crap’s sake, Mom!”
Diesel’s cat sat up, half-curious and half-willing to go on a killing spree for whoever Emberly had been set up with. He tugged on his clothes and jammed his feet into his boots, then sat on the couch and waited for her to finish the call so he didn’t intrude on her conversation.
“As a matter of fact, I met a guy last night, okay? And he’s really great. And no, you can’t meet him right now. I’ll bring him by the shop on Monday for coffee. Yes, that was my way of saying I want to take off a couple days. You’re the best, thanks. Love you!”
She let out a sigh and then called for him. He joined her in the bedroom.
“I wanted to ask if you’d like to be my plus-one to the wedding?”
He’d hoped she’d ask. He really didn’t want to have to sit around his place all night wondering how she was. Now that they were mated, he wanted to be with her.
“Are you sure it’s okay, considering how your friends feel about shifters?”
She frowned and chewed her bottom lip.
He freed it from the confines of her upper teeth and kissed it. “I absolutely want to go with you, but your friend obviously has a problem with shifters.”
“I hadn’t really given it much thought.” She tilted her head and looked at him for a moment. “But maybe I should give her a call.”
He nodded. “I’ll give you some privacy.”
She grasped his hand as he turned away. “I talked to my parents. They’d like to meet you, so I thought we could go have coffee Monday morning.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Do shifters get married?”
“Of course. But first, we need to meet each other’s family.”
“I’d love that.” She narrowed her eyes. “Could you hear my whole conversation with my mom?”
“Yeah.”
“We weren’t even in the same room!”
He shrugged. “Lions have good ears.”
“Like a freaking bat.”
He snorted.
She stepped into his embrace and hugged him. “My mom offered to send a guy I went out with once to the wedding as my date. I don’t know how many times I told her I didn’t want to be set up, but she just wants to help. And she thinks she’s some kind of expert match-maker, although after hearing your people actually have a real-life match-maker, I think she’d be outdone in a heartbeat.”
“Lion moms don’t do that kind of thing, but it’s sweet. She just wants you to be happy. That’s my job now, of course.”
She grinned and rose onto her toes to kiss him. “I think you’re doing a really bang-up job. Let me call Chloe.”
“Do you want me to give you some privacy?”
She shook her head and walked to the long dresser, pulling out a bra and panties. “You can hear well, so it doesn’t really matter, does it?” She smiled at him as she dropped the towel and put on her undergarments.
“I can’t help my good hearing, but I promise not to abuse it.”
She sat on the bed and scrolled through her contacts. The call rang, picked up on the third trill.
“I’m so pissed you aren’t here. I hope you have a good explanation,” a female said.
“Sorry, Chloe. I overslept. But I wanted to ask you something.”
“Make it quick. They’re getting ready to serve breakfast.”
Emberly cleared her throat. “I met a guy last night and I’d like to bring him to the wedding.”
“That’s great. But... wait, where did you meet a guy?”