by Amy Andrews
She opened her eyes. ‘Why were you there, tonight?’ she murmured. ‘At the River Breeze? You said you wanted to talk to me?’
Max’s hand stilled on her shoulder blade for a moment before continuing its lazy path.
‘Yes,’ he murmured.
Ali felt him tense a little and held her breath as her own lethargy dissipated in response. What had he wanted to talk to her about? Something personal maybe? Her silly heart tapped crazily in her chest.
She released her breath on a husky note. ‘Oh?’ she said, keeping her voice light. She shivered as his fingers stroked like feathers over her skin.
Max waited a few moments before he spoke. ‘I got notice today from Palmerston and McGarrick.’
Ali frowned. Why was that name familiar? ‘Who?’
Max kept stroking, wishing it were going to be enough to stop Ali from flipping out. ‘The Cullens’ lawyers. They’ve lodged an appeal.’
It took a moment for the words to register in Ali’s brain, sluggish from Max’s petting. Then they roared in her head like a trombone. She half sat up, using his chest as leverage. Her heart boomed in her ears. ‘Seriously?’
Max nodded. ‘An appeal was always on the cards if we won,’ he said as he brushed her curls back off her shoulder.
Ali flinched at his touch as she stared down at him. How could he be so calm?
Because he was a man and the last time she’d depended on a man for emotional support when she’d needed it most, he’d walked out of her life and hadn’t looked back. How could she have been so foolish to have expected Max to be any different?
She should have learned a year ago that she could only depend on herself. That she had to deal with these things on her own.
The thought was so depressing an uncharacteristic rage welled in her chest. This wasn’t fair—it just wasn’t fair. She’d been put through the wringer and every time she was vindicated another hearing, another court case reared its ugly head.
She swung her legs over the side of the bed and buried her face in her hands. ‘This is never going to end, is it?’ she despaired.
Max rolled up on his elbow, the defeated line of her back, the slump to her shoulders punching him hard in the gut. ‘It won’t be granted, Ali. It’s going to be thrown out of court before it even gets that far.’
She turned her head to face him. ‘How do you know?’ she demanded.
He stroked a hand down her back. ‘They have no grounds.’
Ali shrugged him away. ‘That doesn’t seem to have stopped them so far,’ she shot back.
She looked back at the floor. Her undies and shirt were nearby and she reached for them. She stood, keeping her back to him, and stepped into her pants, then pulled her T-shirt down over her head.
Max watched her with dismay, ignoring the dictates of his body, which were urging him to drag her back down to the bed and pull her close. She’d just had her world yanked out from under her again. It was etched all over her face. Sex wasn’t the answer.
‘The appeal process is different, Ali. They don’t have the grounds.’
Ali shook her head as she turned to face him. ‘How do you know?’ she demanded.
‘It’s my job, Ali. Just like you knew exactly what that boy needed tonight, how to help him, I know stuff to do with the law. You’re a brilliant doctor. I’m a brilliant lawyer. Trust me.’
Except she was never going to get the chance to be a brilliant doctor, was she? Tears welled in her eyes and she dashed them away. This was all Max’s fault. For telling her she was awesome, for insisting she shouldn’t give up on medicine, for encouraging her to follow her calling, for shooting down every career choice she’d floated.
She’d bought into his fantasy only to have it crumble before she even got a chance to live it.
She’d worked on Josh tonight and had finally felt alive again. Finally known that medicine was in her marrow. Only to have it snatched away once more.
Max couldn’t bear the sadness on her face. ‘It won’t get up,’ he murmured.
She searched his face. ‘What if it does?’
‘It won’t.’
Ali shook her head. She couldn’t stay here, she had to get out. All she wanted was to have him hold her and tell her that he loved her. She couldn’t bear that he didn’t. Not now, not in her hour of need.
It was just like Tom all over again. She’d deal with the sickening prospect of the appeal by herself. At least she wouldn’t feel let down. Betrayed.
And if she stayed, she might not be responsible for what she blurted out. She might even beg him to love her.
‘I have to go.’
Max frowned. ‘What?’ He reached out a hand to her. ‘Don’t go. Not like this.’
Ali shrank from it. She couldn’t bear for him to touch her, not without love. ‘I’m fine,’ she said tersely as the walls of her world crashed around her.
‘Ali … don’t. Let me help you.’
And that was when Ali lost it. He couldn’t help her. In fact he’d just made things worse. So very much worse. He’d made her fall in love with him and made her want to be a doctor again.
She placed her hands on her hips and glared down at him. ‘Help me? Help me?’ she snorted. ‘All you’ve done is made things worse,’ she yelled.
She marched around his bed then, kicking aside discarded clothes looking for her bra and trousers.
Max sat up watching her stalk around the room, her curls bouncing, magnificent in her rage. She couldn’t leave. Not like this. Not so angry.
Not at all if he had his way.
‘It’s going to be okay, Ali,’ he said gently as she bent over to retrieve her trousers. She was angry and irrational—if he could just make her see it was going to be okay …
Ali’s blood pressure hit the roof as she righted herself. She saw red with his Pollyanna views and his ‘don’t frighten the horses’ voice.
‘It’s not going to be okay,’ she snapped. ‘It’s never going to be okay again.’
Everything from the last year, all the upheaval and disappointments and losses—her baby, her poor darling baby—welled up in her at once. A lump of what felt like molten rock seemed lodged in under her ribcage and was growing larger with each breath.
‘There are two things at the very beginning I told you I wasn’t going to do,’ she yelled, shaking her trousers at him. ‘Get back into medicine and fall for another man. And you’ve made me break both those.’
Ali watched as Max’s grey eyes widened. Crap! Now she’d completely humiliated herself. She rubbed at her chest. It was tight, impossibly tight; she could barely breathe.
Max stilled. ‘What did you say?’
A tear escaped and she couldn’t even be bothered to dash it away. She might as well make the humiliation complete.
‘And then,’ she yelled, ignoring him, ‘when you get me excited about medicine again and you make me fall in love with you, you snatch them both back!’
Max frowned. She loved him? Did she just say she loved him? ‘What?’ He shook his head. ‘How?’
‘By telling me about the appeal,’ she cried. ‘And by still being in love with your wife.’
Max blinked. What the—? He raised himself to his haunches and held out his hand in a stopping motion. ‘What on earth are you talking about?’
Ali could feel the hot tears flowing out of her eyes thick and fast now as she attempted to step into her trousers. ‘I saw you,’ she accused as she missed the leg hole and made a second attempt. ‘With Pete on the deck that morning. Remember? I could hear everything from the sink. About Tori. The baby.’
Her own womb contracted at the thought. She wanted a baby, damn it. She wanted it with a ferocity that almost winded her.
She wanted Max’s baby.
She sucked in a shaky breath. ‘I saw how devastated you were.’ Both legs were in now and she yanked the trousers up to her waist. ‘I heard it in your voice. Only a man who’s still in love with a woman would be so gutted.’
&
nbsp; Max shook his head. ‘You’re wrong.’
‘Am I?’ she demanded, dashing away the tears. ‘Are you sure it wasn’t really her you were making love to after Pete left while you were having sex with me?’
Ali glared at him. She wanted to hurt him as much as she was hurting. She yanked her zipper up with a vicious tug.
The noise was as loud as a slap in the silence and Max reared back as if it had been. Her ugly suggestion made him want to cross the floor and shake her.
‘I am not still in love with my ex-wife.’
Max’s voice dropped to a low growl and Ali felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise. But she was damned if she was going to back down. Everything was a mess and it felt good to have someone else to blame for a change instead of herself.
‘Well, you could have fooled me,’ she snapped.
Max threw back the sheet and stepped out of bed. He picked up his underwear off the floor and put it on. His heart was pounding. She loved him. She’d said she loved him. It was his turn to be honest.
To hell with waiting. To hell with her not being ready.
He shoved his hands on his hips and glared at her. ‘I’m in love with you.’
It was Ali’s turn to rear back. She gasped. Her silly, silly heart leapt at his words. But her brain was in control. Her heart had got her into too much trouble in the past.
‘No.’ She shook her head wildly. She wouldn’t open up her heart again. She wouldn’t be fooled. ‘I saw it—I saw your face. You’re still in love with Tori.’
Max stood his ground. ‘I was in shock, Ali. That’s all. I was stunned … bewildered. But not because I still love her or have any lingering feelings for her—believe me, I fell out of love with Tori a long time ago. Because it was unexpected. Totally out of left-field. Because she’d so vehemently not wanted a baby. Finding out she was pregnant was a shock. And, yes, it hurt. But not my heart, Ali. It hurt my ego, my pride.’
Ali’s heart lifted again. She so wanted to believe him. But she quashed it ruthlessly. ‘So you’re telling me if she waltzed back through that door, right now, wanting to try again, you wouldn’t take her back?’
Max put his hand on his heart. ‘That’s right.’
‘Even if she wanted to have babies with you?’
Max kept his hand firmly in place. ‘That’s right.’
‘Even if she got on her knees and begged.’
Max nodded his head. ‘I wish her well. I hope she’s very happy. But the only woman I’m interested in having babies with is you.’
Ali’s breath caught in her throat. The sincerity blazing in his steady grey eyes was humbling. ‘You want babies with me?’
Ali heard her voice crack a little as another hot tear welled up and spilled down her cheek. The deep empty place inside her filled up with a wonderful warm glow.
Max dropped his hand and took a step towards her. ‘In time, sure. Lots of babies. Lots and lots.’
She halted him with a wave of her hand. A part of her wanted to leap in his arms, to rejoice in this startling turn of events. To believe him. But the saner part, the part that had taken too many knocks this past year, that had been unbearably hurt, couldn’t believe that something was going right for once.
The thought of opening up her heart again was utterly terrifying. ‘I don’t understand,’ she said suspiciously. ‘When did this big revelation occur?’
Max looked at his watch. ‘About six hours ago.’
Tonight? He’d only just realised tonight. Ali took a step back. ‘That was rather convenient,’ she said, her voice full of starch.
Max pushed a hand through his hair. She was scared, he understood that. Frankly he was pretty damn terrified himself. He knew how much it took when you’d already been hurt to put yourself out there and love someone else again. But love didn’t let you choose.
He had to convince her. Because as terrifying as it was to love her, it was more terrifying not to.
‘I was watching you with that boy and you were so incredible, so … amazing and then you burst into tears and I was holding you and I knew, I just suddenly knew that you were the most precious thing in the whole world to me. It was truly one of those biblical kind of things.’
Ali smiled for the first time since she’d leapt out of bed. Here they were in a state of undress yelling at each other after having just had hot sweaty sex and he was going all biblical.
‘Biblical huh?’
Max smiled too. ‘I saw the light.’ He took a step towards her. ‘Although in retrospect I think it was probably that first night. When you said fish were cute. I think I started falling right then and there.’
Ali grinned. It seemed like a hundred years ago now.
Max moved closer again. When she didn’t object he took another step. ‘How about you?’ he asked.
Ali’s smile faded as she remembered her own particularly horrible revelation that awful day Pete had come to visit. ‘In your apartment that morning. When Pete was talking to you about Tori and you looked so gutted. That’s when I realised.’
‘Ouch.’ Max took another step closer. Nearly there. ‘So that’s why you left.’
Ali nodded. ‘I couldn’t bear being with you knowing that you loved someone else. I’d already been down that road, Max. I couldn’t do it again.’
Max nodded as he slid his hand around her waist tentatively. When she didn’t protest he tugged her gently to him.
‘You won’t have to, Ali. I’m your guy. Your one-woman guy.’
Ali placed her hands on his biceps, her body already melting against the heat of him. She looked into his grey eyes, still trying to keep a hold of the door to her heart. ‘Isn’t that what we all think when we first get together, Max? Isn’t that what you thought with Tori? It’s what I thought with Tom. How do we know that we’re not doomed to failure?’
Max smiled as he fingered that persistent floppy curl out of her eye. ‘I guess we don’t, ultimately. That’s what makes love such a leap of faith. But I’ve never felt this deeply about anyone, not even Tori. And I know I want to be with your for ever. So what do you say? I’m ready to jump. Jump with me?’
Ali felt her throat clog with emotion. He was right. Love was a leap of faith. The door crashed open and she let the love flow out.
‘Oh, Max. I love you so much. I’ll jump with you anywhere.’
Max stared into the eyes of the woman he loved and felt whole for the first time in a long time. He dropped a kiss on her forehead, her nose, her cheek and a long lingering one on her mouth.
When he drew back they were both breathing hard. ‘Come back to bed,’ he whispered. ‘Let’s make love.’
Ali smiled at him. ‘Mmm, I like the sound of that.’
‘Good,’ he said, nuzzling her neck. ‘Because I’m going to spend a lifetime making love to you.’
Ali laughed. ‘In that case, I’m going to spend a lifetime letting you.’
Read on for a sneak preview of Carol Marinelli’s
PUTTING ALICE BACK TOGETHER!
Hugh hired bikes!
You know that saying: ‘It’s like riding a bike, you never forget’?
I’d never learnt in the first place.
I never got past training wheels.
‘You’ve got limited upper-body strength?’ He stopped and looked at me.
I had been explaining to him as I wobbled along and tried to stay up that I really had no centre of balance. I mean really had no centre of balance. And when we decided, fairly quickly, that a bike ride along the Yarra perhaps, after all, wasn’t the best activity (he’d kept insisting I’d be fine once I was on, that you never forget), I threw in too my other disability. I told him about my limited upper-body strength, just in case he took me to an indoor rock-climbing centre next. I’d honestly forgotten he was a doctor, and he seemed worried, like I’d had a mini-stroke in the past or had mild cerebral palsy or something.
‘God, Alice, I’m sorry—you should have said. What happened?’
And th
en I had had to tell him that it was a self-diagnosis.
‘Well, I could never get up the ropes at the gym at school.’ We were pushing our bikes back. ‘I can’t blow-dry the back of my hair …’ he started laughing.
Not like Lisa who was laughing at me—he was just laughing and so was I. We got a full refund because we’d only been on our bikes ten minutes, but I hadn’t failed. If anything, we were getting on better.
And better.
We went to St Kilda to the lovely bitty shops and I found these miniature Russian dolls. They were tiny, made of tin or something, the biggest no bigger than my thumbnail. Every time we opened them, there was another tiny one, and then another, all reds and yellows and greens.
They were divine.
We were facing each other, looking down at the palm of my hand, and our heads touched.
If I put my hand up now, I can feel where our heads touched.
I remember that moment.
I remember it a lot.
Our heads connected for a second and it was alchemic; it was as if our minds kissed hello.
I just have to touch my head, just there at the very spot and I can, whenever I want to, relive that moment.
So many times I do.
‘Get them.’ Hugh said, and I would have, except that little bit of tin cost more than a hundred dollars and, though that usually wouldn’t have stopped me, I wasn’t about to have my card declined in front of him.
I put them back.
‘Nope.’ I gave him a smile. ‘Gotta stop the impulse spending.’
We had lunch.
Out on the pavement and I can’t remember what we ate, I just remember being happy. Actually, I can remember: I had Caesar salad because it was the lowest carb thing I could find. We drank water and I do remember not giving it a thought.
I was just thirsty.
And happy.
He went to the loo and I chatted to a girl at the next table, just chatted away. Hugh was gone for ages and I was glad I hadn’t demanded Dan from the universe, because I would have been worried about how long he was taking.
Do I go on about the universe too much? I don’t know, but what I do know is that something was looking out for me, helping me to be my best, not to **** this up as I usually do. You see, we walked on the beach, we went for another coffee and by that time it was evening and we went home and he gave me a present.