Submit (Out of the Octagon, #1)

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by Lexy Timms

With sure movements, he undid the fastenings on her jeans, tugging them down, letting her kick them away. His hands moved down her back, cupping her ass, flexing his hips forward against her body. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he picked her up, her legs sliding up his thighs, wrapping around his waist. She broke away from their kiss. The muscles in his arms rippled but he held her with ease.

  “Aedan...” She ran her fingers softly over his face, across his lips. His eyes were dark, hooded, passion evident, combined with longing. She could feel his erection slide between her legs, the delicious friction of the barely there brushes against her sending waves of passion through her body. Aedan shifted her in his grasp, spreading his legs, his cock poised against her body.

  Rosa tightened her legs around his waist, pulling him into her, exhaling as he entered her. Aedan closed his eyes and she felt a shiver pass through his body.

  After a moment, he opened his eyes. “Fuck, Rosa... I need this. I need you so badly right now.” He took a few steps, tipping her back onto the bed and pushing her across the firm mattress. She felt him bracing his knees on the bed, his hips already driving his cock further into her body.

  His thrusts were hard and fast, his head turned away from her, mouth pressed against her shoulder. She could feel the need in him, the tense muscles in his back and shoulders. There was nothing she was required to do except be there, open and accepting, letting him find in her body whatever comfort he needed.

  She felt his body stiffen, his thrusts becoming erratic. He lifted his head, looking down at her. “I’m sorry...I can’t...” The words tore from his throat on rasping breaths.

  “It’s okay. Let go...” She caressed his face as he closed his eyes, his face twisted in a look that was more pain than pleasure.

  With a groan, Aedan came, his body jerking above her, his hips pushing forward. She rolled her hips up, her legs still wrapped around his waist, holding him against her body.

  It was brief, and then he collapsed next to her on the bed. He wrapped one arm around her, pulling her against him. She put her hand on his chest, felt the pounding of his heart, his breath coming in short ragged gasps.

  It took her a moment to realize he was crying.

  She tried to pull away, to look at his face. “No...don’t.” His voice was rough with emotion. “Not yet.” His arm tightened around her shoulders, one hand clutching hers against his chest.

  He held her a few minutes longer, until his breathing became regular, his heartbeat slowing beneath her fingers. He finally rolled onto his back, still holding her hand.

  She rose up on one elbow, watching his face. “Aedan? Are you okay?”

  He opened his eyes, turning to look at her. “I am now.” He took a deep breath and gave her a tired smile. “It’s been a hell of a rough week.” The smile faded into a frown, and he looked away from her. “I’m sorry...”

  “For what?” She touched his cheek.

  “I feel like I’m using you...” His frown deepened.

  “You are.” She traced the line of his lips, pressing her fingertips to his mouth as he tried to speak. “But it’s okay.” She leaned over, kissing him softly. “I know why...and it’s okay. I want to be here for you, whatever you need. And this is what you needed right now. Someday, it might be my turn to ask you for something. And you’ll be there for me. Like I’m here for you.”

  For a long moment, silence fell between them, the only sound the noise of the world going on outside.

  Finally, Aedan looked up at her. “Rosa...” His fingers curled closer around hers. “I... I love you.”

  The naked emotion in his eyes made her eyelids prick with tears. “You’ve never said those words to anyone, have you?”

  Aedan took a deep breath. “No.”

  She ran her fingers over the curve of his cheek. “I love you too, Aedan.”

  He pulled her to him, his kiss hard and passionate, his hands splayed across her back. Then he rolled over, pinning her to the bed. “I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve this. Or you.” Aedan stared hard into her eyes. “I felt like something had changed between us. Like I’d lost you.” He shook his head. “It terrified me.” He took a deep breath, the tension rolling of him. “It’s like a weight off my shoulders. That you’re here, that I got fired...”

  “You’re relieved that you got fired?” She frowned.

  “Yeah, I am. It wasn’t what I wanted...”

  “You didn’t have to accept the job if you didn’t want it.” Rosa squirmed beneath him. “I just thought it would help. I wasn’t trying to force you to take it.”

  He rolled onto his side, one hand resting on her hip. “That’s not what I meant. I just didn’t want the tension between us. I am—was—grateful for the job. I know you, and your father, meant it to be a good thing.” He pulled her on top of him, as he dropped onto his back, and she relaxed into the embrace, resting her head on his shoulder. “I don’t want to argue...” He brushed the hair back from her face, kissing the top of her head.

  For a few minutes she was quiet in his arms.

  “Are you going back to training full-time?” she asked finally.

  “I never stopped. I was training and working... Trying to do both. Frank told me earlier he’s going to try setting me up for the match with Stone. He’s not sure about scheduling.” Aedan shrugged. “It could happen sooner than he thought.”

  Rosa flinched in the growing darkness. “You’re going after the match with Stone so soon? But I thought... wasn’t it supposed to be in a couple months?”

  “Schedules changed. It happens.” Aedan held her up so he could see her face. “You sound upset. Why? This is what I’ve been training for. This is my dream. The start of it. I do good in this match, agents see me, and I have a chance to make something of myself.”

  “I just...I thought after...well, if you had a real job, you wouldn’t have to do this.” She sat up, pulling the sheet over her body, her forehead creased. “Why do you think you have to fight? You could go back to school or try to get another job. Or something. Anything.”

  The silence was brittle.

  “Rosa.” Aedan stared at her, confusion radiating from his face. “Haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve said to you since we met?”

  “Of course I have. I—”

  “You really don’t get it at all, do you?” He pushed himself off the bed, scooping his sweatpants from the floor, walking toward the bathroom.

  “Aedan,” Rosa called after him.

  His response was the bathroom door slamming.

  Chapter 13

  Aedan turned on the cold water, splashing it over his face. He stared at himself in the mirror. I look like shit.

  What had gotten into Rosa? She seemed to support his fighting. It was his job. His life. She thought getting a job as a dishwasher was going to change that? Really? She confused the hell out of him.

  Woman confusing him was normal, but now he was scared. Admitting he loved her, that was crazy.

  He’d told her more about his life than he’d ever told anyone. He couldn’t imagine his life without her now. But the fact of the matter was that they hadn’t even been together a month. That was hardly enough time to know she’d stay when things got tough. It was starting to look like he’d been wrong to think she would. He tugged on his sweatpants string, tying them up.

  Shaking his head, he switched off the water, grabbing a towel and dried his face, taking one last look in the mirror. You’re an idiot. You open your mouth, put your heart in your hand and think some little rich bitch is going to love you? She’s out of your paygrade. You put your heart on your sleeve and now it’s going to bite you in the ass. Toughen up, fighter.

  She was still sitting up in bed, her eyes wide and her face pale, watching him as he walked across the room. He hesitated next to the bed and she patted the sheets. “Come back, please. I’m sorry...”

  He sat on the edge of the mattress, clenching the edge of the mattress. “Rosa, I’m not sure what we’
re doing here.”

  He felt the mattress shift and then her arms around his chest, her breasts pressed against his back. She buried her head against him, her voice muffled against his shoulder. “I love you. But I’m scared too.”

  “Scared of what?” That I’m from the wrong side of town?

  “That this dream of yours will kill you.”

  That’s what she was terrified about? “There’s always the chance I’ll get hurt. You’ve seen the black eyes, the bruises. That’s expected. It’s part of the deal. And it’s only going to get worse, the harder I train, the more bouts I have.” He pulled her arms away from him, turning to look into her face. “And why do I need a ‘real job’? Being a fighter isn’t a real job? Where did that come from? Was that your whole reason for getting me the chance at the restaurant? So I’d be like everyone else? Like your friends? Normal? Acceptable?”

  “No. That’s not it at all.” Rosa looked at him pleadingly. “I’m just afraid you’re going to be hurt...”

  He was shaking his head, frustration building inside of him. “Yeah, I get that part. But you said—You know what? Never mind. It doesn’t matter.” He stood, pacing to the window.

  “Aedan, I think you’re misunderstanding what I’m trying to say.” He heard the bed creak, heard soft footsteps behind him. When she touched his back, he flinched. She drew her hand away.

  “No, I don’t.” He wanted to turn and face her but knew he’d lose his nerve. “I...I think I went too far, said too much...opened myself up to something I’m not ready to get into.” He could hear the raw edge of fear in his voice. “I need to focus on my fighting and training.”

  “Do you mean the job? Or us?”

  The pain in her voice made his heart ache. He turned to her, found her standing so close she had to tip her head back to look up at him, her face pale in the light from the window. She was wrapped in the sheet, clutching it together at her chest. He swallowed, a lump now in his throat making it painful. He didn’t want to lose her. “I’m not sure.”

  Rosa dropped her eyes. “I see. At least you’re honest.” She turned, hunting on the floor for her clothes. “I should go then...”

  He watched her for a moment. “So you’ve finally had enough.” He sat down heavily on the bed, the springs squeaking in protest.

  She spun around, flinging her shirt at him.

  He ducked, grabbing the fabric as it flew past his head.

  “I’m so tired of your defeatist attitude! You, who talks all the time about how you’ve fought for everything. What about us? Aren’t you willing to fight for us? I’m not leaving you, you stubborn, pig-headed man. I’m leaving because I think we both need some time to think about things, to cool off. I’m not leaving the relationship.” She stalked across the room and stood in front of him, one hand on her hip, the other still clutching the sheet. “You say you’re a good fighter. Are you? Are you willing to fight? You said you love me. Do you? Or was that just in the heat of the moment, something you thought you should say because you thought I’d want to hear it?”

  Aedan stood, staring at her, his chest heaving in time with hers. “I do love you. I meant that. But you have to know how—”

  “Yeah, I know. How hard this is for you. Do you know how difficult this is for me? Everything I say, I worry you’re going to bolt or push me away. Every time you come back from the gym, I see a new bruise or cut. And I worry you’ll go through with this fight and something worse will happen. That’s hard. But it’s worth it, because you’re worth it... We’re worth it.” She was almost spitting the words at him. “Do you think just because I’m angry right now it means this is the end?” She shook her head. “You want to know something? My parents never argue anymore! They don’t love each other either. That died a long time ago. I can tell you almost to the day when they stopped fighting, the day they stopped caring about each other. I can bet that was the day my mother found herself her first in a string of other men.” Rosa curled her arms around herself and looked away, her eyes shimmering with tears in the low light. “Except my father won’t admit it. Today I thought he was going to tell me. That she’d left forever. And yet, he didn’t. Instead he told me you got fired.”

  Aedan took a step toward Rosa, swallowing hard. “No one has ever stuck around long enough to get angry with me...I didn’t let them into my life long enough to make a difference. You’re the only one.” He saw some of the anger leave her face and he took a deep breath, trying to control his racing heart. “Rosa, I’ve never told anyone I love them—family, girlfriend...anyone. It scares the hell out of me, how much I feel for you, how soon I feel this. You have to know this...” He huffed a nervous laugh. “Yeah, I know...is hard.” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “I think you have these expectations and I’m just failing them, one after another. You deserve better! I don’t want you to leave, but if I make it too hard for you, I can drive you away and then...” He sucked in a deep breath and let it out, his shoulders dropping like the air leaving was deflating him of any urge to fight. “It seems like that’s what supposed to happen. That way it’s your decision and not mine.”

  “Is that what you want? Me to leave, to make it easier for you?” Her voice was softer, the sharp edge dulled.

  “No.” He shook his head. “I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want this to end.” He took one step, reaching for her. She walked into his arms, letting him hold her against his chest. “But I want you to understand me...not blow off what I want just because you don’t understand it. If you really want me—really love me—then you have to take me the way I am. Not try to shape me into someone else. Can you do that?”

  He felt her nod her head, some of the tension leaving her body.

  She hugged him hard, turning her face up to his. “You’re a complicated man, Aedan Kearney.” She tried to smile, almost made it before tears spilled from her eyes.

  “You’re a complicated girl, Rosa Thomas.” He kissed her, tasting the saltiness of her tears on his tongue, gently brushed her tousled hair back from her face. “Come to bed. Stay here...sleep with me. Let me make it up to you. Show you that I love you.”

  “We need to make the bed.” She held up a handful of sheet, wiping her face on a corner. “I tore it apart.”

  Both of them laughed a little shakily. He helped her lay the sheet out again, and they curled beneath it, Rosa in his arms.

  He stroked her shoulder and back. They didn’t talk, or kiss. Just laid together holding tight, as if letting go might let things slip away. He relaxed slightly as he felt her breathing deepen into a steady, slow rhythm. She probably hadn’t slept much either the past few days.

  It was a long time before Aedan could follow. Every time Rosa moved he jerked awake, panicked at the thought she was leaving. You can’t keep this up. Go to sleep... She said she’d stay. He finally drifted off, his fingers wrapped through hers, clutching her hand to his chest.

  IT WAS BRIGHT IN HIS room when he woke, the sun strong enough to fight through the grime on the window. He was still holding her hand as she curled against him, her head resting on his shoulder. Moving gently so as not to wake her, he let go of her hand, sliding out of bed. Shower...gym...Frank won’t yell at me.

  She stirred, turning toward his side of the bed, opening her eyes. “Oh...it’s morning.” She smiled at him, looking rumpled and sleepy, and utterly captivating. “Come back...” She shifted back to her side of the bed, stretching her arms over her head, an arousing amount of smooth skin and the seductive curve of one breast peeking from beneath the sheet.

  He walked to the end of the bed, looking at her. He was still wearing his sweats but he knew she could see just how aroused he was. No use hiding it... His body wanted her, but his mind was still ticking over the argument. “Are we okay, after last night?”

  She met his gaze, her eyes heavy-lidded, sultry. “We are. I think...but I don’t want to talk now.”

  Aedan chuckled. “You’re in a rare mood this morning. It’s not li
ke you to not want to...” He stopped as she sat up suddenly, the sheet falling away from her body.

  She reached for the drawstring on his sweatpants, pulling it sharply, the tie coming undone. The pants slid down his hips, and he let them fall to the floor.

  “I think we need to not talk for a while.” Rosa was kneeling in front of Aedan, her hands on his chest, sliding lower over his stomach. He caught her hands as they reached his hips.

  “What do you think we should do instead?” His voice was low as he climbed over the foot of the bed, pushing Rosa back, pinning her to the bed.

  “What do you think I want to do?” She flashed her dimples at him and he was lost.

  “This?” His mouth came down on hers and all thoughts of the gym left his mind.

  Rosa was languorous and sinuous beneath him, teasing him lightly, her movements unhurried. He let her set the pace and he followed, his body in tune with every shift of her hips or sound she made. They moved together so smoothly, so seamlessly, that Aedan had that peculiar sensation not knowing where he ended and she began.

  He cradled her face in his hands, watching her as her movements became more forceful, urging him to follow, and finally taking on a sense of urgency.

  “Oh, fuck, Aedan.” Her eyes went wide, her lips parted, her body suddenly arching up beneath him. She closed her eyes, her head thrown back and he felt her come, felt every shudder and ripple of pleasure race through her body as she bucked and thrashed beneath him.

  There was a moment where he held himself still inside her, holding back, letting her release fuel his. And then he joined her, thrusting hard and fast, head buried in that familiar nook of her shoulder, inhaling her scent, his body and hers moving together until they were spent.

  He rolled onto his back; breathing hard, sweat covering his chest. She immediately curled against him, her arm across his chest, one leg thrown over his hips. Aedan ran his fingers through her hair, his body relaxed, his mind wandering. He wanted to drift back into blissful sleep, here with Rosa. But he turned, squinting at the alarm clock. Oh, shit.

 

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