by Lynne Matson
Start swimming, Skye, I told myself. You can do this.
I started toward the island’s rocky coastline, but the current fought to pull me away.
The Death Twins, our boat captain had called them. And now the deadly current rushing between the islands was pulling me out to sea.
I fought and I swam and when my strength flagged I floated on my back. I closed my eyes, trying to think my way out of this new mess. If I’d made it off Nil only to die at sea, the irony was ridiculous.
Like Uncle Scott, I thought.
But I’m not Uncle Scott.
I started swimming again, fiercely, sideways, out of the riplike current running between the islands, determined to make it back alive.
Someone yelled my name. I stopped swimming.
“Get in,” a familiar voice said. It belonged to the last person I wanted to see.
I turned to find Carmen in a canoe, floating a few feet away on the inky water. She wore a gray T-shirt and dark shorts, her wardrobe choices telling me my dad was close.
Why would I get in a canoe with a girl who just an hour ago wanted me dead?
“I won’t hurt you,” she said quietly, offering her hand. “You have my word.”
The shore was still a good thirty feet away, and past the rocks, the island burned. Flames reached for the stars. Even if I could make it to the island, no one would be there. No one would stick around for the island finale, which might involve the steaming volcano.
Plus, I was tired. Dead tired.
I stared at Carmen’s offered hand. Dad’s words rang in my ears.
Sometimes … you must take a chance.
It was how I had ended up on Nil to begin with, and it was how I had survived.
I took her hand.
Carmen dragged me into the canoe, where she handed me a similar pair of shorts and one of my own tank tops. Thanks, Dad, I thought.
But I didn’t take my eyes off Carmen.
“Why?” I asked as I picked up the extra paddle. “Why help me now?”
“Because you were stronger than me in all the ways that counted. You were right,” she admitted haltingly. “About the island. It got in my head. Back on the island, that was not me.”
Carmen turned away. I stared at her back, realizing that was her way of apologizing. It was her way of redeeming herself, for herself.
She’d given herself a second chance, and it happened to involve me. Saving me after killing me.
Nil wasn’t the only place weirdness happened.
Still, I couldn’t bring myself to thank her. After all, she had tried to kill me, twice.
“Everyone else is over there,” Carmen said, her paddle slicing silently through the water with remarkably powerful strokes. My arms were so shaky I could barely lift my paddle, but this fatigue was mine, born of my experiences, my fight to survive, my triumph of will to break free. I’d earned this fatigue, and I reveled in it. Because as tired as I was, I was here.
Nil’s end was not mine.
We rounded the bend, angling toward the shallow beach. A boat was anchored in deep water. On the beach, a few people milled around. Others were already in canoes, heading toward the big boat. Molly, Davey, and Calvin were already on the large boat; so were Dominic, Zane, and Lana. Kenji and James were pushing a canoe off the beach with my dad’s help. Thad and Charley stood at the water’s edge, heads slightly bent, hands clasped. The tiger was nowhere to be seen.
Rives sat alone on the beach, backlit by the island fire. He wore only athletic shorts, his body turned toward the mountain, his face wet with tears.
Rives.
I realized he couldn’t see us in the darkness, and no one was looking our way. All eyes were trained on the Death Twin’s smoking mountain, or on my dad’s deep-sea boat. We paddled silently, gliding over the water. It wasn’t until the bow of the canoe struck the beach that anyone noticed.
“Skye!” Charley cried. She waved wildly.
Rives’s head snapped toward her. She pointed to me; his gaze followed. Our eyes caught. He stood, his jaw falling open. He watched me walk toward him. He didn’t move.
“Are you real?” he whispered. His voice was raw. “Tell me this is real. Tell me Nil isn’t still messing with my head. Skye?”
“I’m real.” I reached out and wrapped my hand around his clenched fist. “This is real. We’re real. And Nil is history.” I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. First softly, then fiercely. I smiled as I wrapped my hands around his waist, my lips tingling from Rives’s touch. “How was that? Was that real enough?”
“How?” His face still read shock. “The gate closed. It exploded. You didn’t come through.”
“I had a water landing. I don’t remember much, but I do remember flying through the air, and waking just before I went under.”
With a groan, Rives swept me close, holding me tight. “You make me crazy, you know that?”
“I know.” I smiled against his chest. “It’s one of my specialties.”
“Mad skills,” he whispered. He kissed my temple, then my cheek, my neck, my collarbone, as if he couldn’t get enough, as if he’d never get enough. Abruptly, he stopped.
“Skye,” he said slowly, his voice measured as he held me gently at arm’s length. “What happened?” His eyes lingered on my bare shoulders before landing on my eyes. “After you took the torch into the gate?”
“Love saved me,” I said simply. “Yours, mine. Ours. Others’. Nil let me live.”
“And you’re sure Nil is—” He paused, wrestling for the perfect word. “Gone?”
I nodded. “I felt it let me go. The dark side hesitated, or weakened, and the good side won. Or maybe the light overwhelmed the dark, just for an instant. Either way, I felt the seam close behind me. Nil is trapped, between worlds, without access to the power it needs. It’s over.”
Rives’s finger brushed my shoulder blade.
“But it left a mark.”
“On everyone,” I agreed.
“I mean on you. On your shoulder.”
“What?” I wrenched around but I couldn’t see anything. Then I remembered the cold hand that pushed me through. Had Nil left a mark? A chill crept down my spine. “What does it look like?”
“Like ice,” Thad said.
“No, it looks like the inside of a gate,” Charley said. She inspected my shoulder blade with a flashlight. “It glitters in the light, but it has to catch the light to be seen. It’s lines of silvery light, shaped sort of like a diamond. It’s actually really cool.”
Thad snorted. Rives didn’t look amused.
“Do you still feel Nil?” Rives asked. “In your head? In your heart? Anywhere?”
I remembered the suffocating layer that had peeled away just before I flew through; the same weighty layer that had vanished in the moment before the ice hit, before I blacked out, before the seam had sealed shut. And when I’d woken, I’d felt light. Lighter than I had in months.
I’d felt like me.
I went deeper, searching. Nil’s memories remained only as ghosts: wispy fragments, dulled by my human ability to access the lingering remnants still in my memory banks. Their weight and substance were gone. My memories were truly mine, just like my mind, and my heart, and my soul.
“Skye?” Rives’s worried voice brought me back. “You’re scaring me. Talk to me. Please.”
I met his eyes, this boy who walked into a gate for me, who gave up everything for me, because I’d asked him to. And yet he’d been there, with me, until the end. Until Nil’s end. And somehow, he’d reached through, to guide me back, just as I’d reached for him. I’d felt him, and so had Nil.
Together, we had been more.
And we still were.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of.” I covered his hand with mine, knowing it was true. “Nil’s end is written; it’s over, for good. Forever. Our future belongs to us.”
Rives’s lips curved into a smile, the one that made the rest of the world fall away. “T
o now,” he whispered, his green eyes full of heat and hope.
I pulled him to me, reveling in the love that brought me to this moment. “To now,” I agreed, my lips finding his.
*
Now is just the beginning.
My name is Skye Bracken, and this is the truth.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Writing acknowledgments for the last book in a series brings a heightened case of oh-my-land-I-need-to-thank-everyone combined with a hefty dose of please-don’t-let-me-forget-anyone.☺ But at least I know where to start.
Thanks to God, for with Him all things are possible … like creating the fictional world of Nil that I’ve been blessed to live in for the past five years.
This trilogy—and of course, this final Nil book, with its stunning cover and gorgeous graphics—would not exist without the incredible support, hard work, and tireless enthusiasm of the following people:
Jennifer Unter, my literary agent extraordinaire, who I’m grateful for every day. You are THE BEST! Thank you for making my publishing dreams come true, for working so hard to bring Charley, Thad, Rives, and Skye to readers everywhere, and for your unwavering support. Thank you for making this book, and this journey, possible.☺
Kate Farrell, my brilliant editor, who expertly brought this trilogy to life. Four years ago, you took a chance on a debut author, and I’m so incredibly grateful you did.☺ Thank you so much for your enthusiasm, your patience, your wisdom, and your vision; I can’t imagine a more perfect editor for this series. All the thanks and Nil love I can send you are yours! YOU ARE AWESOME!
The incredible lovelies at Macmillan and Henry Holt, including Rachel Murray, Brittany Pearlman, Molly Brouillette, Allison Verost, Caitlin Sweeney, Mary Van Akin, Ksenia Winnicki, April Ward, Elizabeth Dresner, Liz Fithian, and the rest of the wonderful publishing team who brought this book, and this series, into the world. You lit the Nil fire! The Macmillan #NILtribe is the absolute BEST.☺
The YA Valentines (Sara Raasch, Bethany Hagen, Lindsay Cummings, Bethany Crandell, Phil Siegel, Sara B. Larson, Amy Rolland, Anne Blankman, Paula Stokes, Kristi Helvig, Jen McConnel, Jaye Robin Brown, Kristen Lippert-Martin) aka THE BEST WRITING SUPPORT GROUP EVER. This journey would not have been the same—or nearly as fun—without y’all.☺
Becky Wallace, Tonya Kuper, Lindsay Currie, Trisha Leaver, and Nicole Castroman: I love your brains and your kindness, your generosity and your friendship.☺ How did I get so lucky?
Vivi Barnes, Christy Farley, Amy Parker: I will be a guest chick any day. Road trips and apples and beach getaways on me … and we’re just getting started.☺
Jay C. Spencer: thank you for going back to Nil in the ’80s with Scott and sharing your incredible talent with me.☺
Natalie Whipple, Charles Martin, Laura Stanford, Eliza Tilton, and Jessie Harrell: I can’t say thank you enough for believing in the Nil world from the start and in my writing. Your encouragement was huge when I needed it most.☺
My Fierce Reads partners in crime, Marie Rutkoski, Morgan Matson, and Lindsay Smith: I adore you.☺
Artists Maggie Eckford, Gaslight Anthem, The Broods, Snakadaktal, Rise Against, and Silversun Pickups: special thanks for setting this book on fire, inspirationally speaking.
All the booksellers, librarians, and incredible book bloggers (Eli, Nikki, Stacee, Hafsah, Danny, Ivey, Stephanie, Celeste, Jack, Kristen, Jessica, and more!) who have supported the Nil world from word one: YOU AMAZE ME. You are the heart of the #NILtribe, and I truly appreciate everything you do! An island of thanks from me!☺
Speaking of hearts … my friends and family, near and far, who have supported me and the Nil world with such love it makes me cry. I am SO blessed.
Sims, Gina, Christy, Mary Caroline, Kelly, Phaedra, Amy, Mary Claire, Leigh, Kelley, Natalie, Kat, Allison, Meg, Avery, Lindsey, Julie, Erin, Heather, Margaret, Isabelle, Susanna, Mary, Susannah, Stephanie, Nina, Lauren, Nicole, Annie, Darden, Porter, Kasie, Laddy, Virginia, Debbie, Rebecca, Michele, Stacy, Lani, Shannon, Angela, Devon, Susan, Rhonda, Sharlon, Jennifer, Pat, and Missy (and my other sweet friends I forgot to mention because of writer’s brain), I love you all and am grateful to have you in my life.
My family aka my personal #NILtribe: Ki (best sister ever), Mom, Ryan, Baz, Max, Mark, Jill, Blake, Kerri, Grandma, Bev, Jim, Johnny, and Aymi. I love y’all tons!
My guardian angels, who I miss: my dad, who gave me my first fantasy book … this series is for you. Uncle Beepsy, who said there should be more kissing … I wish you could have read the final copy. And Penny, who was the proudest mother-in-law ever … you inspired me to be the best me.
My boys, Caden, Christian, Davis, and Cooper: I LOVE YOU ALL BEYOND WORDS! Thank you for sharing me with Nil, for your hugs and your inspiration, and for being the amazing boys you are. You make life the best trip ever. I am y’alls’ biggest fan, always.☺
My best friend and my soul mate, Stephen, who makes life more. You believed in me and in the Nil world from Day One, and this book—this series—absolutely would not exist without your support. Thank you, my love! I can’t wait for our next adventure! Whatever it is, I know it will be awesome—because it will be with you.
And finally, thank you, sweet reader, for taking this journey with me! There isn’t enough space to convey how grateful I am for the passion of the #NILtribe. Your excitement, your artwork, your emails, and your generous Nil love have meant the world to me. Over the past few years, meeting you in person and interacting online has been incredible. Nil belongs to you now and so does this book.
And so, to the #NILtribe everywhere: thank you for embracing all things Nil from the start and for staying until the end.☺ This book is for you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lynne Matson is the author of the Nil trilogy. She grew up in Georgia in a house full of books and a backyard full of gnarly pines. She attended the University of Florida, where she met and married her husband, the cutest boy she’s ever seen. Now Lynne is mother to four amazing boys and lives in Jacksonville, Florida. lynnematson.blogspot.com. Or sign up for email updates here.
Thank you for buying this
Henry Holt and Company ebook.
To receive special offers, bonus content,
and info on new releases and other great reads,
sign up for our newsletters.
Or visit us online at
us.macmillan.com/newslettersignup
For email updates on the author, click here.
CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Epigraph
Chapter 1: Nil
Chapter 2: Skye
Chapter 3: Rives
Chapter 4: Nil
Chapter 5: Nil
Chapter 6: Skye
Chapter 7: Rives
Chapter 8: Nil
Chapter 9: Nil
Chapter 10: Skye
Chapter 11: Rives
Chapter 12: Nil
Chapter 13: Skye
Chapter 14: Rives
Chapter 15: Nil
Chapter 16: Skye
Chapter 17: Rives
Chapter 18: Nil
Chapter 19: Skye
Chapter 20: Rives
Chapter 21: Nil
Chapter 22: Skye
Chapter 23: Rives
Chapter 24: Nil
Chapter 25: Skye
Chapter 26: Rives
Chapter 27: Nil
Chapter 28: Skye
Chapter 29: Rives
Chapter 30: Nil
Chapter 31: Skye
Chapter 32: Rives
Chapter 33: Nil
Chapter 34: Skye
Chapter 35: Rives
Chapter 36: Nil
Chapter 37: Skye
Chapter 38: Rives
Chapter 39: Nil
Chapter 40: Skye
Chapter 41: Rives
Chapter 42: Nil
Chapter 43: Skye
Chapter 44: Rives
Chapter 45: Nil
Chapter 46: Skye
Chapter 47: Rives
Chapter 48: Nil
Chapter 49: Skye
Chapter 50: Rives
Chapter 51: Nil
Chapter 52: Skye
Chapter 53: Rives
Chapter 54: Nil
Chapter 55: Skye
Chapter 56: Rives
Chapter 57: Nil
Chapter 58: Skye
Chapter 59: Rives
Chapter 60: Nil
Chapter 61: Skye
Chapter 62: Rives
Chapter 63: Nil
Chapter 64: Skye
Chapter 65: Rives
Chapter 66: Nil
Chapter 67: Skye
Chapter 68: Rives