“A friend of a friend of Sophia’s painted it. I wanted it to look like Alaska. Isn’t it great?” He’d worked damned hard thinking of something that might please her. It wasn’t anything that he would have chosen, but hell, it was her home state. The mural might be a little over the top. There was the octopus hugging a sea otter that was a little disconcerting.
“Why’d you think I want a nursery with grizzly bears on the walls?”
“We never talked about it, so I didn’t know, but I thought you might like something that made you think of home?” his voice went up on the last word.
He watched as she shut her eyes and breathed deeply. This was not going like he’d expected. He eyed the bassinette, and put a sleeping Andrew down before Karen and he had their little ‘talk’.
“Didn’t you see the orange and white striped curtains?” She asked through gritted teeth.
“The kitchen curtains?”
“No, the Tennessee Volunteer curtains.”
He saw the green fire shooting from her eyes.
“Honey, what are you talking about?”
“Have I ever once said anything about wanting our son to grow up underwater? Did I say that I had been on the Enchantment Under the Sea prom decorating committee and it was the highlight of my life? Did I say I missed Alaska and I wanted to move back?”
“Well no,” he answered carefully.
“Then why on God’s green Earth did you think I would want this?”
“I didn’t know what you wanted for the nursery, and this seemed like something you might like, and it was blue.”
He watched her take a deep breath and paste a false smile on her face that didn’t reach her eyes. “Why didn’t you ask me?”
“You’ve been sick. You had to take care of everything on your own, I wanted to handle this for you.” He paused and thought about her question.
“Drake, don’t you think this is something we should have discussed? Don’t you think I would have wanted to be involved in decorating my son’s nursery?”
Oh shit, she was right. He walked over to her and tried to put his arms around her. She rebuffed him. It reminded him of what Piper had just done. “You’re totally right, I should have talked to you about this.”
She nodded. “Yes,” she said tightly, “you should have.” Then she let out a deep breath. “But I’m to blame too.”
He perked up. “Yeah?”
“I did basically the same thing. I didn’t discuss what I was doing with you. I was doing something that I thought you would like. I wanted to surprise you.”
He smirked.
“Before you get all high and mighty Drake Jefferson, there’s one huge difference.”
“What?”
“I like what I chose for you. Do you like the octopus wrestling thing you have going on?”
Drake choked back a laugh and shook his head. “No, can’t say that I do. What were you going to surprise me with?”
“Didn’t you just hear me say the white and orange curtains were for the Tennessee Volunteers?”
“You’d do that for me? You’d decorate his room after my favorite college football team?”
“Honey, the Tennessee Volunteers are our favorite team, bar none. Didn’t we get the premium cable package just so we could watch them? Have we ever missed a game? I bet I can name the entire defensive line right this very second, you wanna listen?”
God, she was hot when she talked football.
“We both fucked up?”
“Don’t swear in front of Andrew.” She scowled.
“One, he’s sleeping. Two, he can’t cogitate. Three, he’s going to be a SEAL so he needs to know these words.”
Karen rolled her eyes.
“I better call Mason and Billy over to help paint the walls orange.”
“Are you out of your mind? We’re painting the walls white, and putting orange accents around the room. Orange walls would look terrible.” She shuddered. “I have an orange and white baby lamp, and a little matching orange football blanket for the crib.”
“There’s a Vols blanket? That is so cool. Where’d you get that?”
“I got it all on-line, except for the pillows, those Maddie sent to me.”
“You are not painting a damn thing. You are still on lock-down young lady.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Billy and Mason would love to help.”
“Fine, go and round up Billy and Mason. I need to find out why Piper stormed into her room.”
“I’ll just call Mason to buy the paint and he and Billy can come on over,” he said as he went over to the bassinette to check on Andrew.
She walked up beside him. They both took a moment to stare at their son.
“You know, looking at him, makes everything else seem like a minor problem. He’s the most important thing in the world,” she whispered.
“Both of you are.”
“Our family is. You’re just as important to me, as I am to you.”
He pulled her close. “I know Sweetheart. You didn’t watch near as much football until you met me. Don’t think I don’t know what you do for me.”
“Hey, I love it now,” she protested.
He kissed her temple. “Thanks for coming into my life Karen.”
“I wouldn’t have missed a moment of this, now go over to Mason’s house and ask him nicely to help,” she said softly. Then she lifted her head in panic. “Wait, I don’t want to hurt Sophia’s artist friend’s feelings.”
“It’ll be our little secret. Mason and Billy will take it to their grave.”
“Good. So, get going.”
“I’m staying here.”
“No, you’re not, you’re going over to Mason’s,” she said as she pulled him away from the bassinette, so they wouldn’t disturb Andrew.
“I’m not leaving,” he said firmly.
“Yes. Yes, you are.”
“You’re going to end up doing something stupid like trying to unpack boxes when you shouldn’t.”
She hitched in a deep breath, and stared at Drake incredulously.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he tried to hug her, but she backed up a step.
“Drake, we have to talk this out. It can’t go on like this.” Her voice was low and sad.
He knew he’d fucked up, but she sounded so serious, it scared the piss out of him.
“You see me differently than the woman you first met. I’m now one more person in your life you have to take care of.”
“Yes, you are. You and Andrew are the most important people in my world. I would fight to the death to take care of you.” Once again, he reached out to her, and once again she backed away.
“Hear me out, okay?” Her voice was tremulous. God, what was wrong?
“Sure Honey, I’ll listen. Say what you have to say.” Why wouldn’t she let him hold her?
“This isn’t me. You know?”
He shook his head. He had no idea what she was talking about.
She stood there and cocked her head to the side. He could see her thinking. “Give me a second, okay? I want to say this right.”
“Take all the time you need.” If it was going to be bad, then he could wait a hundred years to hear it.
“Oh dammit, now I’ve made you anxious.” She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. Well this was good. This was really good. She tilted her head back and looked at him. “How many people have you had to take care of in your life?” she asked softly.
“I don’t know.”
“Of course, you don’t, because there have been so many your soul can’t keep count, let alone your head.”
Where was she going with this?
“How many people have taken care of you?”
“Mason. My team. You.”
She jerked away from him, her eyes round.
“Me? You know I’ve wanted to take care of you?”
“Honey, there is no want in that sentence. You have taken care of me. You shelter me. You have right from t
he start.”
She continued to stare at him in disbelief.
“You didn’t think I knew that? Karen, I’ve never felt so loved, so cared for, in my entire life.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Hey, don’t cry. Baby, don’t cry. What’s wrong?”
“But I’m not sheltering you anymore. I’m an anchor. I’m just one more person you have to take care of,” she hiccupped.
He stared at her in disbelief. He swiped at her tears with his thumbs. “Jesus, is that why you’re acting like a crazy woman and trying to do everything?”
Her eyes glinted. It could go either way, she could hit him for calling her a crazy woman, or she might fess up. Finally, she nodded. He crouched lower so he could wrap his arms around her waist and lift her up so they were face to face.
“This is a partnership you goof. If I came back wounded and you had to take care of me for a year, would you think less of me? Would you consider me an anchor?”
“Of course not,” she vehemently denied. “How could you even ask that?”
He just stared at her. And stared at her. And stared at her.
She blew the bangs up off her forehead. “I might have had a flaw in my thinking.”
“You might could have,” he agreed solemnly.
She rested her hands on his shoulders. “Uhmm, you know you might have added to this problem a wee bit yourself big guy.”
Damn. He was so hoping to get off Scott free. “I’m listening.”
“Maybe you should put me down.”
“I’m more than capable of holding onto my woman, especially for the important conversations. Say what you have to say.”
“Okay, you’ve been acting like a crazy man. Care to share why?”
“Can you be more specific than ‘Crazy Man’?”
“Since you’ve been home this time, you’ve gone into hyperdrive. I feel like you don’t think I’m capable of putting one step in front of the other without your help.”
“I should never have left. Not after having almost lost you. Not with Andrew so young. I should never have left.”
“Of course, you should have. Honey, I was the one who told you to go.”
He didn’t hear her. He thought about that moment when Piper had called him damn near a year ago. His little sister had been afraid for her life. Their dad was intent on killing her. Drake had left her, and the rest of his sisters, to that kind of horror. Just like he’d abandoned Karen nineteen days ago.
“Drake! You’re not listening to me.”
“What?”
Andrew started crying. “I have to feed Andrew. Come with me into the bedroom.” He released his hold on her, then like a balm, she laid a kiss on his chest, right over his heart. “Follow me. I need to understand what you’re not telling me.”
THEIR BEDROOM HAD BEEN set up perfectly. The dresser was where she would have wanted it placed. The light mint wall color exactly matched the new duvet cover she had purchased. If she had to guess, Piper had a lot of input on this room.
“Do you like it?” Drake asked hopefully.
“I love it,” she assured him.
He grinned, then he guided her to the bed where he sat down with his back to the headboard. “Rest against me.” He held out his arms, and she turned around and sank back against him. Even with Andrew raging, she felt comfortable.
“You need to calm down, Little Guy,” he said, reaching around and putting out his finger so Andrew could latch on with one angry fist. With his other hand, somehow Drake was able to deftly unbutton her top, and then unlatch the cup of her nursing bra. He stroked her full breast, and she felt it throughout her body.
“God, Drake, celibacy sucks.”
He chuckled, then kissed her neck. “Tonight, let’s see what we can do about creative ways to pleasure you.”
“And you. I refuse for this to be a one-way street.” She wiggled her ass against his crotch and laughed when he groaned.
“Are we done arguing?” he asked as he cupped the back of Andrew’s head and guided him to her nipple.
“We’re not arguing, we’re discussing. I want to discuss why you think you can’t leave me.”
He was silent. He kept stroking her breast.
“Drake?”
“Let’s talk about this later.”
She knew that tone. He didn’t use it often, but her man was frustrated, and not sexually. This was the perfect time to talk. This was the safest, most loving place they could ever have together. They could work out world peace right now.
“Tell me Drake. We need to get it out in the open. I can handle it, and you need to get it off your chest.”
“Dammit Karen, I don’t know which way is up, and I fucking hate it. I’m not like this. I just pick a course of action and go for it.” He said low and vehemently so as not to disturb Andrew.”
That was the truth. “What are you conflicted about?”
“You were wrong about something and so was I. I could depend on Trenda and Evie. I knew they had my back and the girls backs. They would call for help when something was up. Hell, they’ve raised Piper in their image.”
This time he was louder, and Andrew started to fidget. She stroked his cheek and he went back to suckling.
“What are you saying Drake?”
“You asked why I went into hyperdrive? Because you’ve been hiding shit from me. You did a one-eighty from the woman I knew. Basically, you lost your damn mind.”
So much for being able to handle anything when she was in Drake’s arms and nursing Andrew. That hurt. It hurt a lot. Why? Because it was true.
“The Karen I know and love would ask for help. Trenda and Evie did when it got bad. You say that you’ve got it now. But do you really? Because you scared the piss out of me. And I can’t imagine going on a mission again unless I know for sure you’re safe and you’ll ask for help. You do that, then you’re not being a burden, you’re being an asset.”
“Well then.” It was all she could say while she gathered her thoughts.
“What does that mean?”
“I think I just met Mr. SEAL team second in command.”
“Uhhhm, maybe.”
“So am I supposed to say yes Sir?”
“I’m not an officer. You just say yes. Then if you were Clint you would make a smart-ass comment like your head is now out of your ass.”
Karen bit her lip. “How about, I love you?”
“That would be Jack. He has a crush on me.”
Karen laughed. Andrew let out a huff as he lost his meal ticket. She brought his head back to her nipple.
“Damn Drake. Do you know how sexy you are when you’re smart?”
“You’re not mad at me?” he asked tentatively.
“Baby, you hit the nail on the head. How could I be mad? I’m not even really hurt by what you said. I’m relieved. I was going about this all wrong. I was coming to that conclusion on my own, but in your own tactful and loving way, you got me to the answer faster.”
“Finn said he missed our special talks,” he murmured into her hair.
“I’m sure he did,” she said wryly.
“But there’s more.”
“Oh God, I don’t think I can handle more,” she said. “For real Drake. More?”
“No, this isn’t so bad, I promise. Now that I know that you’ll ask for help, I still want to do a little bit more to make sure you’re safe.”
“Like what? What would make me and Andrew safer?”
“If someone other than just Piper was living with you,” he answered immediately.
“Who?”
“Ideally one of my teammates, but they would be on a mission with me.” He sighed.
Damn, it sounded like he wanted to hire a personal protection service for her. Yep, her man had lost his ever-loving mind. She needed to go at this from another angle.
“It must be weird being the first one on your team to have a child. What are the others thinking? Are they planning on having kids?”
�
��Well Dare basically has kids. Of course, they’re grown. Sawyer’s going to be eighteen any day now. Charlotte is turning fifteen if she isn’t already. But Georgie is a special case.”
“Is Dare nervous leaving them at home alone with Rylie.”
“Of course not. But then Rylie was caring for them for years without Dare being in the picture.” Drake explained.
Well that tact wasn’t going to work.
“What about some of the others? How about Jack and Beth, are they planning on having kids anytime soon?”
Drake’s cheek had been resting against hers, he tilted her head, so they could look at one another. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they were pregnant next year. Beth has mother written all over her.”
“Well, how is Jack going to cope with Beth being alone with their child while he’s alone on missions?”
“He won’t. Mark my words, with his money, they’ll suddenly have a live-in couple to take care of the house. One as a gardener or some such shit, one to help with the kid. You can be damn sure that the man will have ‘skills’.”
“He’s going to hire a mercenary to live with them?”
“Damn straight.”
“That’s just crazy.”
“Look at it from Jack’s point-of-view, his stepdad is as rich as Midas and that money’s flowed Jack’s way. It’s made him a target. He’s not going to leave his wife and kid unprotected. I’m just stunned he hasn’t made it happen already.”
“And Clint and Lydia?” Karen asked. “They’re not targets. They’re not rich. They’re like us.”
“God knows when they’ll reproduce, but Clint will have the best security system in the world.”
“Fine, get us that.”
Drake’s stroking fingers stalled. His entire body went still. “I could do that,” he said slowly.
Andrew was winding down. “He’s going to need to be burped,” she stalled. Karen pulled their son away, and Drake took him. He grabbed the baby towel off the nightstand and put a conked-out Andrew on his shoulder. Karen arranged her clothing back in place. Before she could sit back up, Drake had her cuddled up against his other shoulder.
“Thank you for listening. I’m sorry I got so pissy.”
“I don’t know if pissy is the right word,” she teased. “I’m thinking commanderish. It was kind of hot.”
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