by Rhodes, Beth
Raphe raised his hands. “Look man, it’s been a long time since that day when your mom walked away.”
“Almost twenty years now.”
Thrown back to that time at the mere mention of it, David frowned. The weather had been ass-biting cold. His nine year old body had ignored it and run, just run after the woman who’d been his everything for so long.
But she’d left, without even looking back.
“It’s time to let that go,” Raphe said, more quietly than his usual gregariousness. “You’ve got your mom close by now, even if you do ignore her.”
Raphe had lost his mom two years ago. And the sorrow of that moment weighed on David’s mind. “I’m sorry. God. I really am a douche.”
“You can be as angry as you want for as long as you want.” Raphe stepped back up to the switch and turned the pitching mechanism on. “Just don’t throw something good away over it.”
The pitch came and Raphe swung, hitting a line drive, straight down the middle. “Not all women are the same.”
David swallowed against the tightness in his throat.
He loved Raphe, and just as much, loved the wife his friend had chosen. He’d never thought, in a million years, that Rebecca would be like his mom. He’d never tried to talk Raphe out of marrying her.
Well, except for that once…but that had been alcohol induced.
“Shit.”
Raphe’s grin came back then and he hit three more balls, dead on.
David sighed. He was going to have to do something.
He just didn’t know what yet.
3
David’s exit in a cloud of anger and frustration had left her breathless. The easy-going man she’d known ten weeks ago…this wasn’t that man. Phew. He still made her heart pound. How could it be? Even after his rejection of her and the baby.
She scowled. At least he wasn’t married, though.
She wasn’t sure she could take that kind of knock to her esteem. Her guilt at having sex before marriage and ending up pregnant had been enough. She blinked back tears. She’d made a choice in October. Now was her time to fix it, make it right.
Stand up and do something for herself, and for her baby, who needed her, needed a mom and dad. Maybe, down the road, brothers and sisters.
David’s life did not look like hers, not anything like she expected after knowing him for that too-short month in Red Bluff.
Even though a man didn’t seem necessary in this day and age, she’d hoped, in finding him, her child would have a chance at the kind of life she’d had growing up. She was going to have a baby. Hard work and love. The only two things she needed. Her stomach churned.
And food. Time to eat.
She made her way to the kitchen. One step through the doorway was heaven. Rosemary and thyme wafted through the air, and the smell of warm stew made her almost light-headed. “That smells so good.”
“Sit!”
She did, and Nan set a plate of what could only be homemade bread in front of her along with a bowl of the stew.
“So, you know my David.” It wasn’t really a question.
Maria shrugged. “Kind of.”
In the biblical sense, anyway. The stomach churning got a little worse and she soothed it with another bite. “We met a few months ago while he was in California.”
“He’s such a good boy. Always helping out.”
“Hmm.” So, he was a hometown boy. Great. Good thing she was leaving first thing in the morning. She could just see it now… marked as a hussy. A gold-digger. No way. Not for her. She would take her unplanned pregnancy with her and leave him to his earldom, or whatever it was they had here on the East Coast that put the town’s rich boy on a pedestal.
She loved the man who’d come to California—laidback, down-to-earth. If she couldn’t have him, she didn’t want the alternative.
After finishing the last bite of carrot, she placed her spoon on the table next to the bowl. “I think I’ll take a walk through town.”
Nan Boehler frowned. “It’s very cold.”
“I won’t go far. Just need some fresh air before I settle in for the night. Got a big day ahead of me, and traveling makes me claustrophobic.”
“That’s true. You go ahead. Except for the cold, Main Street is perfect this time of day. You will see! The sun is just about to set. Be sure and stop at Henry’s for a coffee. You can warm up there before you walk back.” The woman looked at her watch. “I will be watching for you. An hour, no more, or I will send the cavalry out.”
How funny. In a matter of an hour, she’d been treated like the dirt that needed to be swept under the rug by a man she’d believed she loved, and now she was being treated like a long lost family member by a complete stranger.
Smiling, Maria reached for the sweet woman’s hand and grasped it. “Thank you.” There were good people. Hadn’t she known that? When she thought about it, that was the reason she’d come here in the first place. She’d believed, deep down, David was good people.
She’d been scared after finding out about the baby, but she believed David would stand up as the sensitive guy she’d known. The one who had whispered in her ear and told her stories of small towns and a grandfather who’d taught him to chop wood during the long winter months.
She’d thought he wanted to be a part of her life when he’d embraced her family.
For a short time.
She scowled as she tread along the sidewalk toward town—head down, feet shuffling.
Give him time.
But he’d lied to her. Lied about who he was, what he did—
Lies of omission.
Still lies. Her throat tightened against the disappointment, the ache, which felt a lot like the pain of him leaving last November.
“Hello, miss.”
Maria looked up and smiled at the short, white-haired old man, brushing the walk with his broom. A glance to her right showed a small hardware store. And she stopped. “Are you open?”
“Sure am.” He reached for the door and held it open. “Come on in.”
Her dad owned the hardware store in Red Bluff, had for the past forty years.
Here in Lynnbrook, it was a little like stepping back in time. Wide-plank pine floors crossed the width of the room. Off to the right was an old-fashioned counter with a glass front and top. Inside were rows of shiny new nuts and bolts and nails and screws. The contrast made her smile, and she slowed as she passed and ran her hand along the weathered, wood framing.
Just beyond that was an aisle for plumbing. It seemed silly now, but she took a deep breath, slowly walking toward the back. The scent was the same…
Same as her dad, as home.
She’d left in a hurry but not without notice.
She’d also called her sister who was stationed in Fort Lewis. If anyone might understand what she was going through, it would be Lena. Lena and Zack fought for their happy ending. And though she’d held back from telling anyone about the baby, she didn’t want her family to worry about her. Besides, Maria owed her sister, if not the truth, than an apology.
Hadn’t she acted all self-righteous when she’d found out Lena had slept with Zack? Meanwhile, she’d been sleeping with David through the end of October!
Now, here she was, ten weeks along. There were times she still couldn’t tell she was pregnant. The dreaded morning sickness hadn’t touched her. Her friends talked about it, and part of her had worried when she never fell victim. Was she doing something wrong? Was the baby okay? But the doctor assured her.
Still, she dreamed. Weird, crazy-ass dreams. And sometimes, in those dreams, she messed it all up. And still in others, she dreamed of him.
The next aisle was a hodgepodge of tools and fencing and yard stuff. Chicken wire was stacked about four feet tall in rolled up sheets. Did people here actually own chickens? Where did they even live during the winter?
Maybe they butchered them all.
What an odd thought. It’s not a different country, Maria. But
it felt like it.
At the very end of the aisle, near the front of the store again, she ran her hands across the piles of brick and knew there were much larger piles in the back on the loading dock.
“Are you looking for anything specific?” It was the shopkeeper.
“No. I’m just visiting…” She paused, picked up the pretty little snow globe that had a miniature of the town in it. “My dad owns a hardware store so it’s a little like going home.”
“Is that so?”
She smiled. “Yeah.”
“Hasn’t been nudged out by the big guys, I guess.”
“Oh, well, we have a Home Depot on the north side of town, but somehow he’s managed to hold out. He started selling local stuff, like this.” She held up the snow globe. “Crafts, art, art supplies…”
The man nodded. “Do you work for your father?”
“Oh no,” she laughed. “Well, I did when I was a teenager, but then I went and got a nursing degree. My brother is the one who is in there with my dad—for the most part.”
“He’s mighty lucky to have the two of you.”
“Actually there are seven of us.”
“What?” The man grinned and waved her toward the front counter. He lifted the lid on a jar of peppermint sticks, and she wondered if her dad would be interested in adding the feature to his own store. Of course, her dad’s store had a seventies feel to it. Not 1870s, either.
He handed it to her with a piece of wax paper.
She dug into her pocket, pulled out her change and handed him a quarter. “Thank you.”
A man passed by the front of the store, walking with hurried steps northward. David. “Oh,” she whispered as she watched.
He headed for the blonde—Tammy, who stood in front of the coffee shop Nan had mentioned. The hat on her head was so danged chic it made Maria want to rip it off and step on it. But that wasn’t nice.
She could stay here—in the quiet of the store. She’d seen two chairs and a chess board table at the back. But that would be horribly un-brave.
“I guess I better go.” She stuck the candy cane into her mouth in order to shove her hands into her gloves then, taking the peppermint out, waved goodbye. “Thanks for letting me stop in.”
“You come by anytime, dear.”
Mother Nature hit her with a gust of wind as she exited, and she pulled her collar up, telling herself she wasn’t trying to hide from the couple across the street.
She didn’t follow David’s path, although part of her wanted to turn her head to look. Admitting that was probably half the battle. Her feet took her up Main Street where she found a small park with a gazebo as the centerpiece.
Homesickness slammed into her, choked her. The memories of her time with David in a place so much like this one bombarded her already bruised heart. “Damn it.” Just like home and the park near the river that had a gazebo as well. The same place her sister had discovered Zack as her mystery man. With David at her back and no answers in front of her, the familiarity soothed her. She was being charmed by the town and the people.
Giving in, she looked, but David and Tammy were gone.
Inside for coffee?
He’d said they weren’t married, but did the woman hold out hope? Were they an item? Maria sighed. It didn’t matter anymore. He wanted nothing to do with her or his baby.
Her stroll down the opposite side of Main Street back toward the inn brought her to Henry’s Café. Her gaze found David in an instant, like a freaking, pathetic magnet. He and the woman weren’t sitting as she expected, but stood off to the side of the sitting area. Just a passing glimpse. But he looked upset, and Tammy looked…furious.
She shouldn’t stand there and stare, but her heart pounded when David’s hand came out to comfort the tall blonde, a light caress down her arm.
Her heart fell and she walked by. Even if there wasn’t commitment between the two, there was obviously friendship of some kind. That made Maria the unexpected variable and not even a friend, really. Just a fling.
She hated the uncertainty that pounded through her. She’d been sure when she gave herself to David, ready to make her own choices. Her decision had blown up in her face.
Her heartbeat slowed as she reached the little nail shop next to Henry’s where coffee was also being served and at least three women were sitting in chairs, talking and laughing. Beyond that, off the street a bit was a little grocery store—Watkins. The parking lot might hold eight cars. And then there were a couple cute little shops and a pharmacy on the corner. Everything a person could need.
With a glance at her watch, Maria decided to make one last stop and entered the pharmacy. Her hands were freezing, so she pulled off the gloves, cupped her hands, and breathed on them. She went for the book section on the wall to the right. Something to take on the plane with her.
But the shelf full of little dust-collecting trinkets stopped her.
She should get something for the baby, a memento of his origins. She didn’t know what she’d tell him, or when she’d tell him. But eventually, her baby would ask.
Coming here had been the right decision even if it hadn’t gone as she expected. Now she knew who David was and what he was really like, and she’d be able to tell the baby about this town and of the nice people she met here. Gloss over the bits about how his father had lied to her and then refused to be a part of his life.
With a nod, she picked the hand-carved replica of the town sign. It even had the year and population number on it—967.
And she thought Red Bluff was small.
She left feeling a little better about the situation. Whether David stepped up or not, she wouldn’t regret her trip to this corner of the country. As her walk came to a close, she saw a little church down a side street two blocks before reaching the inn.
Drawn to the church, she went in. The sanctuary smelled of incense. Vacant, she genuflected and sat in the back row. She didn’t know what to pray, had been at a loss for words since Christmas. So she sat.
And soaked in the silence, the comfort that came with merely being there.
She’d made mistakes, hardly something new. Now she had to move beyond them.
She was smiling when she got back to Nan’s and hurried upstairs to pack her bags. This time tomorrow, she’d be back in sunny California with her mom and dad, and the whole family.
And she’d tell them her secret.
And they would love her and the baby anyway.
~*~
David sat in the Town Hall Meeting, doing his best to focus on the matters at hand.
Thankfully, newly elected Mayor Johnson had decided quarterly meetings were all the town needed. As he’d put it, who needs monthly meetings when we have Henry’s?
Suzy Boon, the boutique consignment owner, had spent the last ten minutes talking about another charity benefit dinner. Which he was all for, except that they’d just had one in December and before that in September. And damn it, did it have to be black tie? Why couldn’t they do a benefit at Dougal’s where there was beer on tap and football on the screens? His secretary Brandy was grinning, though. And she was a force. Once she got on the wagon, it was bound to take off.
He blew out a breath. He couldn’t let his personal life interfere with business and town life. Just because he’d had a shock did not mean he couldn’t maintain his ingrained decorum.
Fucking decorum.
His dad caught his eye and smirked. This, at least, they agreed on.
David raised his hand.
Jack Swanson, the meeting moderator gave him a nod, and when Suzy was finally finished, he pointed to David.
David stood. “The online registration for Spring Little League is up and running. Brandy has the fliers and will pass them out at the end of the meeting. Please post them in your stores, pass them out to friends, etc. I’m looking forward to another great year.”
He sat to the smattering of applause.
When the representative from the parks department stood up,
David quietly slipped out through the back door. His Dad would let him know if anything else of importance came up. Right now, he just needed to get away.
And think.
His feet took him to the center of town and the gazebo in the park. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his watch cap. Unfolding it, he put it on his head. The moisture in the air froze his breath in front of him. He loved it here in the winter, almost never took his yearly trips during the cold months.
He sat on the bench at the edge of the wood structure, rested his elbows on his knees, and forced his thoughts to a standstill. But in the dark slate of his mind, she appeared. As she had in his dreams over the last few months. And it was her, sitting next to him in the old Chevy, driving north on Interstate 5 for the afternoon. Her hair blowing around, the smile on her face. It was her eclectic taste in music as she ran through the radio stations, stopping first for an old eighties song and next for the upbeat Latino music. They’d driven north to go to a fair in the next town over. Arts and crafts. He was familiar with the past-time.
During the summer, every weekend in Vermont involved one fair or another from here to the New Hampshire border all the back to the New York border. For some reason, in California, he hadn’t minded.
He stood abruptly.
His time in California had been play. He’d enjoyed it. He’d left. The anger snuck up on him. He couldn’t do what Maria wanted. He couldn’t be tied to her, to anyone.
Damn it. Wind blew sharply against his face…as if Mother Nature were slapping him.
“David.”
At the sound of his mother’s voice, he turned, but the anger was too close, the pain too vivid. He couldn’t manage the usual indifference. Not this time. “What?”
“I wanted to see how you were doing.”
After the day he’d had…he just—couldn’t. “Yeah? Well, you lost that privilege years ago. When you left—” He shut down. Everything in him stilled. “Shit,” he whispered, more to himself.