Chinese Ghost Fables 1

by Ji, Yun

  They were intimate friends before. In their youth, he was rich, generous, and had supported this merchant financially for over ten years. Furthermore, he provided one hundred ounces of gold to his friend to start a business, which was very successful and eventually accumulated lots of wealth. With some unwise investments, the visitor became penniless, hoping his rich friend could recall their friendship and his generosity. He needed a small loan to pay off debt and provide travel expenses for returning home. Realizing the host's heartlessness, he wailed in despair. Looking sideways, with great impatience and indifference, the callous merchant pretended not knowing this old friend at all. Most of the bystanders were in amazement. They didn't even know whom should they trust.

  A man called himself Mr. Young came forward. He politely bowed at and courteously requested the merchant, "If I may ask, did the old man tell the truth?" Surprised by such blunt inquiry from a total stranger, the merchant blushed a little and murmured, with uneasiness, "Yes, there is a shred of accuracy. I am in a tight spot, too. Having a serious problem on securing a more profitable government position, I have overstretched myself financially and couldn't loan him any money at this moment."

  "Of course, I understand your dilemma," Mr. Young confidently responded, "After you obtain that position, you could easily amass plenty of money. That is much more than what you have invested now. Am I correct? Let's say. If someone is willingly to lend you one hundred ounces of gold with zero interest for a year, will you accept this offer and lend the gold to this needy man?"

  "Well," the merchant, who doesn't believe such a miracle could even occur, promptly and arrogantly answered, without hesitation. "I certainly will." "Please, draw two contracts for me. One is between you and me and the other, between you and your friend," Mr. Young respectfully suggested and continued, "By chance, I do have one hundred ounces of gold."

  Due to his own hasty promise, the rich merchant reluctantly wrote two IOU notes, and handed one over to Mr. Young, who delivered the gold. With great reluctance tinged with embarrassment, the merchant asked that poor old man to sign the other note and turned the gold over to him. Mr. Young beamed a smile and treated them to dinner. The old man was content with the arrangement but the merchant felt into deep melancholy. After the meal, the old man left and Mr. Young went back to his room. A few days later, he checked out of the hotel. Another month passed. One day, the merchant unlocked his safe and, with great amazement, discovered that he lost one hundred ounces of gold. However, there was his IOU and a note explaining the whole event. Learning this episode, other residents were both amused and delightful about the outcome. They despised the ruthless and callous-hearted merchant. Ashamed and aggravated, he clandestinely relocated himself elsewhere at night.

  27 MEET WITH YOUR OWN MATCH

  A man, who was nicknamed "boldie," was very muscular and hot-tempered. Abandoned by his parents in his childhood, he was illiterate and didn't know his last name. Since a certain Wong's family adopted him, for the convenience of readers, we called him Mr. Wong. Not a hero at all, he was a notorious bully in his village. One night, returning home, he and his sidekicks were all deeply intoxicated. By mistake, they went strayed and inadvertently trespassed into a deserted graveyard. They confronted with a group of ghosts. Observing those otherworldly creatures, his friends were frightened and flabbergasted. Shivering and trembling, they timidly kneed and lowered their heads in mortification. They dared not to raise their heads and vigorously prayed for their lives.

  As their leader, Mr. Wong, robust and foolhardy, fearless attempted to assault one of the dark creatures with his fists, but missed him by inches. "Are you out of your mind? How rude are you!" The ghost sternly retorted, with obvious disdain appeared on the end of his curved lips, "Can you not even recognize your own father?" Being an orphan, he never met him before and was profoundly perplexed.

  "I am your father, too," Another ghost shouted, with a tone of mockery, "Come on! Stand on your knees and pay some respect to us?" With jeer, another ghost divulged. "Since you had never honored and burned underworld paper money for your mother, she was in vast poverty and became a wandering ghost. We married her. As a result of that arrangement, we all became your fathers."

  Mr. Wong, whose drunk and reddish face turned into purple, was infuriated. Due to his size and temper, he always pushed others around and was never suffered such humiliation before. Offended and annoyed, he eagerly waived his fists and violently attacked them. Those cheeky ghosts were mere clusters of air. No matter how hard he tried, he wasted all his energy for nothing. Gasping with exhaustion, he collapsed to the ground, like a piece of dead wood.

  All the mischievous ghosts, roaring with laughter, reprimanded, "You are not a real leader at all but a brainless, puny-minded thug. We are here to teach you a small lesson on behave of your victims. If you keep tyrannizing those mild-tempered farmers, we will call on you again very soon." He was too exhausted to respond. His sidekicks carried him home. From that day on, he stopped mistreating others in the village.

  A person who utilizes his superior physical strength to domineer others will eventually meet his own match. He will be forced to swallow his own medicine and forfeit his vanity. 28 KEEP AWAY FROM TROUBLE In Kara Shaha, in a county mayor's residence, a female servant committed suicide, on a beam in the study room. She became a ferocious hanged ghost and had haunted the house ever since. Learning this tragic episode, the newly-arrived mayor, Mr. Chan, straight and virtuous, moved in this possessed house. One night, under a dim candlelight, he was studying and suddenly overheard a strange noise coming from the roof. Cautiously looking upward, he surprisingly noticed a pair of woman's delicate feet slowly descending from the ceiling. Within a few minutes, half of her body was appeared.

  "How dare of you!" The new mayor fearless reproached, with stern and severity in his voice, "Tell me what kind of dark creature are you. Human being and otherworldly creatures belong to different dimensions. Why are you invading our world? Any of your wicked behavior will eventually lead to your own self-destruction. Why you have to come after me? I am an honorable gentleman and had never flirted with you or other women in my whole life. How could you try to allure and coquette me? If you dare to appear yourself in front of me, I swear to the Almighty that I will whip you hard."

  The ghost quickly ascended and merged herself into the ceiling. In seconds, it was vanished without a trace. He heard some moaning sounds in the attic. Hours later, he went to bed and observed a lovely face appearing on the surface of the ceiling.

  Glancing at her with indignation and aggravation, the mayor scornfully spat on the face and loudly blasted, "Don't you even have any shred of self-respect? Have you ever learned any manners when you were alive? What a poorly-cultivated and shameless tramp? Even after your untimely death, you don't have any of the basic courtesy and decorum."

  The face instantly retraced back to darkness. Placing a sword beside of his pillow, he then blew off the candle and slept. Next day, he proudly revealed this incident to his colleagues. Nothing ever happened to him after that episode.

  Nevertheless, his servant, who stayed on the adjacent room, was less fortunate. He was bewitched and moaned all night in his dreams of fantasy. A few months later, this cross-starred servant had died of physical exhaustion. All of his energy was sucked up. At his deathbed, with embarrassment, he murmured and confessed to his master. He disclosed that, in his dreams, there was a gorgeous girl frequently visiting and sleeping with him. Enjoying carnal pleasures, he was periodically promised that she would become his bride in the next days. With great effort, this servant feebly but happily consoled his master, who was in vast annoyance and aggravation.

  "It's my fault," the mayor bitterly wailed and regretfully self-criticized; "I was over-confident and overlooked the whole picture, concerning only about myself and thoughtlessly neglecting my servants. Because of my own high honor and integrity, I am not afraid of any evil-spirits, at all. They couldn't harm me. As a matter of fact, they should
n't even appear or approach me in the first place. On the other hand, my less fortunate servant's fate was sealed by my own foolish self-confidence." With remorse, he promptly moved out of that possessed residence.

  As an old Chinese maxim states, "A wise person wouldn't stand near a shaky tall wall." If we have choices, why should we unnecessarily confront with a potential danger, which might eventually harm us or our compatriots? Keeping a safe distance away from a likely trouble seems to be the best protection against all odds.

  29 A NORMAL PLACE OF ODDITY

  My colleague, Mr. Der, was just relocated to Kara Shahr. On one scorching hot summer afternoon, he sauntered on a less-traveled segment of the city. It was deadly quiet. The air was stuffy and the sky cloudless. Strolling along a boulevard, he unconsciously entered woods. In there, the trees became dense, the leaves and branches gradually blocked of the vicious sunlight. He could feel a cool and mysterious breeze gently caressing his face. Birds chirped from afar. Observing a weather-beaten and deserted pavilion, he paced in that building and, relaxed himself on a stone chair, enjoying the tranquility of the surroundings.

  Hours later, a suspicious voice demanded, with courtesy but in a hollow and eerie tone. "Sir, it's time for you to go home now. I need this place to entertain my guests." With amazement, he was disturbed and awakened. Cautiously looking around for a moment, he found nobody.

  "It must be a ghost," Horrified and dejected, he went home, dashed to my study room and anxiously told me, seeking my advice. "I must be doomed. Only a person with dubious character or a person who is on the doorsteps of death will be contacted by the dark creatures. How could I, a well-learned gentleman, in my primetime, was harassed by an evil spirit under the bright daylight? My days must be numbered. Otherwise, the devil won't dare to come near me...."

  "Please, calm down. Don't worry," After listening and analyzing this unusual episode, I comforted him. "Of course, as a general rule of thumb, your concerns and assumption does make sense. Confronting with or approaching by an otherworldly creature is certainly considered a bad omen. However, it all depends on the circumstances. Be broad-minded and allow me to use an analogy to illustrate my viewpoint. Encountering a dark creature in a remote and haunted region is just like locating a person in a crowded farmer market. It is only natural. The area that you visited this afternoon has numerous several-hundred-year-old trees, where could be occupied by otherworldly creatures. The front yard of that deserted pavilion used to be a notorious execution site. Many criminals suffered untimely and cruel death there. The negative energy lingers on and naturally their agonized souls became the most ferocious, wandering ghosts. If you walked a few hundred yards further, you would observe some ill-maintained tombstones and unclaimed coffins. Don't be afraid. You are safe. There is nothing wrong with you. It's that location. Human being is unwelcome in that wicked place."

  30 A STRANGE CREATURE

  In the traditional Chinese society, education was highly-valued and government official respected. Only the well-learned people would have an opportunity to assist an emperor in the management his country. Passing three national examines was essential. It was their only legitimate way to have a career in government. From secretarial positions in the court to minor official in less-desired province, the blessed candidates would start their respectable vocation there. However, passing those examines is not quite as the same as ruling the people. With shrewd preparation and exceptional fortune, one could cram many sacred classic volumes and successfully fulfill the former requirement. Under the worst case scenario, he would become a bookworm, a person without common sense. Interpersonal relationship is an art and couldn’t be learned from books. It needs some talents and flair; some newly appointed officials lacked of those. Alas! They had prepared all their lives for those big examines and don’t have time to observe daily mundane human activities. Consequently, walled in their minute city hall, they acted like spoiled and uninformed tyrants. Education without supported by experience or common sense is a dangerous thing. Quick success will make a person less susceptible to alternative suggestions and opposite opinions. Well-educated and highly intelligent, they were not necessarily wise or even smart, acting as administrators.

  Respectfully surrounded by his subordinates and many bodyguards and servants, an arrogant and self-righteous city mayor visited a famous temple in his domain. There was a haunted room. It was a forbidden area. Nobody dared to approach it after dusk. Considering himself knowledgeable, ethical and blessed, the mayor volunteered himself to expel those dark creatures there, for the welfare of those monks. He moved into that possessed room and even had an extravagant dinner party there. After the meal, he, as a hobby, lectured his assistants on the philosophy of the Almighty. With great reluctance, they grinded their teeth and tolerated this charade in silence. With fake pleasantry, they at first pretended to listen to their superior’s tedious and boring oration. Under continuous bombardment of monotonous and unimaginative preach, his assistants were obviously exhausted. With difficulty and patience, they withheld and concealed their irritation. Suddenly, a piece of shingle, flying from the courtyard through a paper window panel, hit the mayor's forehead and ricocheted to the ground.

  "Damn it! How dare of you, attacking a blessed governmental official? What kind of dark creature are you? Where is your protocol? Don’t you know that…." Before the well-learned mayor could finish his complaint, a shrill voice, from the attic, severely interrupted and rebutted, with mockery and indignation. "Are you talking about yourself or what? Bless my ass. You are the epitome of incompetence; a shame of the human beings. As a mayor, don't you know that there are tens of people die of starvation or plague everyday in your own domain? Have you ever noticed that and attempted to rescue them as an honest government official would do? Neglecting your responsibilities, how can you sleep peacefully at home? Who are you anyway; do you prefer having big and empty talk than conducting relief missions? If you, as usual, keep babbling till tomorrow morning, can you use your nonsense to feed or cure those dying people? Let me present you another gift as a reward of your stupidity."

  A whole chunk of tile, like a thunderbolt, promptly appeared and landed in the center of the table. It smashed all of the dishes and utensils. With amazement and aggravation, the mayor embarrassingly fled out of the room and kept murmuring to himself, in disbelief, "How come the ancient volumes are lying to me? It’s the basic rule of universe. The blessed must be respected by all of the otherworldly creatures. How can a dark creature interfere with and even lecture me, such a government official?"

  This is a story that makes a joke of the adamant, inflexible, and detached bookworm. He might be a very capable person on passing all of the government exams. However, from his poor performance, he showed that he was a very ineffective and even incompetent administrator. His ineptitude rapidly degraded his status. As a result of that, with contempt and indignation, even, an evil-spirit could accost and offend him. When a theory is different from the outcome, one must scrutinize the process carefully to find out the reason and properly correct it. That mayor was so clueless that he was still perplexed by the difference of theory and practice.

  31 THE MISERABLE SKULL

  My servant Cheng told me this story. One time, while walking in a field, he noticed a skull on the roadside and urinated on it, out of mischievousness. The skull suddenly agitated and shouted in a complaining manner, "Holy smokes! How rude and brainless are you? We are in different domains. Why do you tease and insult me? Where are your manners? Can't you see that I am a lady? What a brute!" Without hesitation, the skull swiftly jumped up and heavily smacked at my servant's face. He was injured. Running home, he was followed by this aggravated skull. He hid himself in the house. The skull perched itself on the top of the roof and began to cuss and curse towards him.

  With uneasiness, he laid on his bed and fell into a mysterious slumber. Moaning and murmuring, he was possessed and tormented by a dark creature. His body temperature rose quickly and sweats ap
peared on his forehead. His life was in great danger.

  Noticing this oddity, all of his family members were amazed and frightened. They vigorously pleaded to the skull and promised to make it up to her. One relative bravely attempted to communicate with the skull. After a brief exchange of amenities, they chatted cordially like two old friends. The relative smartly disclosed his family tree and tried to find a common ground to connect that otherworldly creature with the dying victim. What a coincidence it was when he surprisingly discovered that the skull was actually my servant's great grandmother on his father’s side.

  Learning this piece of valuable information, all of the folks knelt and earnestly implored, "Since we are all relatives and belonged to the same big family, could you kindly spare your own great grandson?"

  "Is this brute my offspring? What a shame! When did you relocate here? Who are you?" Out of curiosity and chagrin, the skull inquired. They patiently explained themselves one by one. "It is not my intention to show myself here under such circumstances. And I never dream that I will someday have to teach my own offspring a lesson like this," The skull sighed profoundly and embarrassingly revealed, in a bitter and annoying tone, "It is not entirely his fault. Wandering ghosts have tough lives, like beggars in the mundane world. Without legitimate means to acquire food for worship and underworld paper money, we could only employ alternative methods and work as a pack. Your handout becomes our bliss. For soliciting more leftover for me and other wandering ghosts in our group, I was told to cunningly exploit any misdeed to our own best advantage. Some of the dark creatures concealed themselves on the other side of the roof. Others waited in the rice field. And the rest stood behind those tall trees. We have our own ruthless rules of survival. Please, give me some food now and I could send them away. We, the wandering ghosts, have lived hand to mouth. Not having stable places to rest ourselves, we are destined to meander around the human world forever, unless we could find proper substitutions. Hunger and poverty shadow us all the time. Any opportunity, generated by human stupidity or bad behavior, will allure us, the otherworldly creatures. Aggravation is our specialty and misfortune is our goal. Like a beast, we live in a jungle’s life and bounded only by jungle’s rules. Remember! We are in different dimensions and our moral yardstick is unlike yours. We are calamity-inclined and belligerent. Keep that in mind and be careful! We are trouble. For your own good, don't go near us again."