by Annie O'Neil
Little ding-ding-dings of recognition started going off in Katie’s head, and her eyes widened as each detail began to slip into a new place. “She set me to peeling and coring all of those apples, saying she needed your signature on something down at the bank in town. It was a Sunday.”
“Yes, it was. We couldn’t believe you fell for it, what with you being a highfalutin valedictorian and all!”
“You were a valedictorian!” Katie protested, fingers digging into the leather seat as Josh took a right turn onto the small lane that brought them up the side of the mountain to her parents’ place.
“Doesn’t count as much when you’re in a class of one hundred in a town that wasn’t too much bigger.” He reached across and gave her leg a squeeze. “Lucky for me you were too blinded by my good looks to pay any attention.”
“Ha! As if!” Katie lied.
“Don’t go playing coy with me, Katherine McGann.”
He withdrew his hand and Katie immediately slipped her own over the spot on her thigh to keep the warmth in.
“Well...that might’ve been a little bit true. And when your grandmother assigned someone a task—you did it!”
“That is most definitely the truth! Gramma Jam-Jam was a tough taskmaster!” Josh’s laugh ended with a sigh.
“I am really sorry to hear she’s passed.”
“Yeah...well...” Josh drove on for a while before filling the cab with a big laugh. “Lucky for me she had no problem with white lies if the intent behind them was loving.”
“What do you mean?”
“Once you were peeling all those bushels of apples, she and I set off like wildcats, scraping the shelves clean of jars, pie tins and whatever else I needed to bribe my grandmother into helping me win your heart.”
“She did that, sure enough.”
“She did...?” Josh’s voice deepened with emotion. “Or I did?”
“Both of you,” Katie answered hastily. Then, “You did.” It was the more honest answer. “Of course you did.”
Her mobile phone jangled, breaking the weighted atmosphere in two.
“It’s my mom. Sorry.” She winced apologetically as she pressed the button. “Hi, Mom—what’s up?”
Josh couldn’t make out what Katie’s mother was saying, which didn’t much matter as everything rattling round his head was making a big enough racket.
Katie still loved him. His wife still loved him.
Was that enough to bring them back together or had time just been too cruel? Maybe knowing she loved him would be salve enough for him to carry on. Go forward. Let each of them get on with lives that could never be the same if they were together.
“You forgot?”
Katie’s voice had careened up a few octaves.
“Mom, not even five days have passed since you asked us. How could you forget?”
She listened in silence, then gave a brusque “goodbye” before jabbing a finger at her phone to end the call.
“Typical.”
“What?”
“My parents are out tonight.”
“Better offer?”
“Something like that.”
“Are they in town?”
“They’re at someone else’s condo in the complex. ‘Too good an invitation to refuse.’” Katie expertly mimicked her mother’s mid-Atlantic accent, then huffed out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know why I let it get to me. Why I didn’t expect it! You’d think after thirty-one years of being dodged by my own parents I’d be used to it.”
“Is that how you see it?”
“That’s how it is! Whenever I really needed them to just be there—nothing else—there was always an excuse. Always something ‘too good to miss’ for them to go to.”
Her words hit home. He wondered if things would have been different between them if he’d let Katie go through a phase of wallowing in dirty pajamas, with a sink full of dishes growing God knew what kind of mold. It had killed him to see her so low, and he’d all but turned into a parody of himself to try and cheer her up.
It was also pretty obvious that Katie had learned some less-than-awesome tricks from her parents. Leaving him on his own when he’d begun to run out of false cheer and had needed her most.
His shoulders sagged. She hadn’t known. He’d had just as thick a veneer of protectiveness over his emotions as Katie had over her numbness. Grief had rendered them both loners. She hadn’t been avoiding him for the past two years out of malice. It had been out of grief.
“They should’ve had to apply for a license,” Katie grumbled.
“What kind of license?”
“A baby license.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have to get a dog license, don’t you?”
“Yes...”
“Well, there are countless people out there in the world who actually want children and don’t get them—and my parents have a child and don’t give a flying pig!”
Josh took his eyes off the road, reaching out to put a hand on Katie’s leg.
When he felt the front wheels of the truck start to skid, he instantly regretted not giving the road his full attention. Black ice. He resisted putting his foot on the brake. Drove into the skid. Everything the rulebook said.
“Josh!”
He fought the urge to overcorrect. And still the truck slid. He reached out his arm to brace Katie against the crash. She had on her seat belt but she would always be his responsibility. And in the blink of an eye, that lightning flash loss of control ended in an abrupt thud and a jerk as the truck lodged itself into a roadside snowdrift.
* * *
“Are you all right?”
They spoke simultaneously.
“Yes. Are you?”
It happened again.
They both laughed, their breath huffing out into the cold cab of the truck in tiny clouds of confirmation that they had both made it. They were okay.
Before he thought better of it, Josh unbuckled himself and his wife, pulling Katie into his arms, holding her tighter than he ever had. He felt her arms come together round his waist, slipping up along his back and pulling him close. Despite the layers of winter clothes, he could have sworn he felt heat move between the two of them, tightening the bond of connection he had feared was severed.
“That was a bit scary.” Katie’s muffled voice came from the crook of his neck, where she had nestled.
“It was a bit, wasn’t it?” He stroked his hand along her hair, giving in to the desire to weave his fingers through it, enjoying the sensation of silk against skin. “We’re all right, Katiebird. We’re all right now.”
Talk about a loaded statement!
He tugged her in a bit closer, not having a clue what they were. Together? Apart? Wrapping things up for good or starting afresh?
Whichever way the wind blew, he would be forever grateful for having her in his arms right now. Feeling her nestle into him a bit more, not pushing him away, hearing their breathing steady a bit. The skid and the jolting snowdrift stop had been a shock. Not a horrible one. But one that needed this sort of quiet recovery time.
He was surprised to discover that his fingers had taken on a will of their own and had shifted beneath the pashmina Katie had tied loosely round her neck. They were slipping up and along her neck, just to the base of her hairline, massaging away any stress or worry. As his awareness of her response to his caresses grew, so did the depth of their breathing. They weren’t in their own worlds any longer.
Katie felt Josh spread his fingers wide along her back, fluidly changing the movement into slow circular caresses. Each change of pressure quickened her pulse. The ache of desire overrode her need to intellectualize the moment. She tilted up her chin and after a microscopic hesitation her lips met his.
&
nbsp; The explosion of sensation all but overwhelmed her. Heat, scent, taste... Everything was accentuated. Her heartbeat accelerated as the fulfillment from each kiss deepened. Josh’s touch felt simultaneously familiar and forbidden. Familiar after the years of shared history. Forbidden because of the deep well of pleasure she felt at his touch. Pleasure she didn’t feel she deserved.
As their lips touched and explored, Katie felt as though her body was going through a reawakening. Where she had felt exhausted and dark, she now felt charged and vibrant. Where she had felt deep, weighted sorrow, she now began to feel possibility and renewal. Where she had felt numb...she now felt love.
Her fingers pressed into her husband’s shoulders as their breath intermingled in searching kiss after kiss. When it seemed as though time had all but stood still, she felt him pull back. She felt the loss of his embrace instantly and it struck her how time and again over their courtship and marriage Josh had been nothing short of her pillar of strength. Almost shyly, she looked up to meet his blue eyes.
“Look at us, steaming up the windows like a couple of high school kids.” Josh’s voice was light, but the mood in the truck was laden with meaning. Past, present, future...too much to think about. Too much to consider.
Katie suddenly began to feel claustrophobic in the cab. “We should probably see if we can get the truck out of the drift in case anyone else comes along this road.” She pushed open the door, surprised to find it resisting.
“I think we’re wedged up against the bank. Come on out my side. We’ll have a look.”
Josh was reaching across her as he spoke, flicking open the glove compartment, raking around by touch as there had never been a cab light in the old truck. She drew back in the seat, surprised at how Josh’s touch suddenly had become something to avoid. Having his warm body all but wrapped around her just moments ago had been like accepting a vital life force, but now that her brain had taken a few moments to play catch-up, she was treating the poor man like he was toxic. It wasn’t fair. To either of them.
He tugged a flashlight out of the glove box, clicking the beam off and on as he pulled back into the driver’s seat. “Guess that’s us in action.”
His voice sounded unchanged. Had he not noticed her flinch at his touch, or was he choosing to ignore it—his modus operandi of The Dark Days.
“Can we just get out of here?” Katie knew she sounded impatient, but she didn’t have the wherewithal to edit herself. “I feel like a sitting target.”
In more ways than one.
“Not a problem.” He stepped aside as she clambered out of the truck—a bit less gracefully than she’d intended, but suddenly a deep breath of icy air was paramount. She let the sharpness of the cold hit her lungs hard—hold her static for a moment and then release her with a billow of breath.
“You all right?” Josh’s voice was all concern, but his focus was on the front of the truck—the front half of which was soundly encased in the snowdrift, as if it had been put there before the winter had begun.
She mumbled an affirmative, working her hands round herself and giving her arms a rub as she looked around at the quiet lane, surprised at how much she could see without streetlights. It was snowing lightly. And it was peaceful. So incredibly quiet and peaceful.
In any other circumstances it would have been romantic. She silently chided herself. Less than a minute ago it had been romantic! Passionate, even. How could five days have changed how she saw the world? As she thought the words, she knew they were ridiculous. Ten minutes could have an impact. Even less and your life could change forever. For better...or for worse.
She heard Josh crunching through the snow around the truck. “What’s the damage?”
“Doesn’t seem to be too much wrong with the truck—but I doubt we’re going to get out of here without a tow truck. Unless you feel like digging it out of this eight-foot snowbank?”
“Seriously?” Okay. Her voice really couldn’t have gone more high-pitched than it just had. Dogs would be howling soon.
“Sorry, Katie.” Josh shrugged. “This gingerbread truck has well and truly crumbled.”
“I don’t know how you do that.” Katie shook her head.
“What?”
“Not go mental over Ol’ Bessie being near enough totaled.”
“Accidents happen. Life goes on.” He shrugged it off.
Cool Hand Josh! One of the many reasons why she had married him. Her very own cowboy—calm, cool, and kicking the back tires on his truck.
“Does that make it work faster?”
“Yes,” he answered drily, giving the tire another kick just to prove to her that the total opposite was true.
Katie couldn’t stop a burst of giggles from burbling forth. His eyes met hers—and the familiar deep punch of connection put her insides through another spin cycle.
Okay, girl—time to decide if we’re playing hot or cold. Time to stop playing.
“What are you doing here, Josh?”
“I could ask you just about the same thing, Katiebird.” He leaned against the back of the pickup, one leg crossed over the other—his body language as stress-free as if he were talking about a bowling league.
“I live here.” Her emotional temperature shot up.
“No, you don’t.” He tilted his chin up in the classic guy move. “You hide out in your parents’ chalet—where, I would put money on it, you haven’t done a single thing other than unpack your clothes.”
Guilty.
She clamped her lips tight. What was this? A standing-up psychoanalysis session?
“When anything approaching life comes to your door, you hide out in your work, just like you’ve always done.”
“No, I don’t!”
Wow. Good comeback. Someone has playground patter down to a fine art.
She threw in a glare for good measure.
“Look, Katie. I don’t want to fight.”
“I don’t want to fight!” she shouted back. Hmm... Maybe she did. And why not? They were stuck out here in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but a truck stuck in a mammoth snowdrift, and...and... Inspiration hit. She scooped up a handful of snow faster than she’d ever done, crunched it into a ball and threw it at him. It landed on his chest with a satisfying thud.
“Feel better?”
“A little.”
She sniffed, thought for a moment about using her sleeve, then sniffed again. Usually she was the one who got to play the grown-up. What was up with this role-reversal thing?
Another little marker went up in her Things-That-Are-Different-About-Josh list.
“Should we get a tow truck out here?”
“I’ll call. What road are we on again?” She hadn’t been paying attention. She’d been too busy making doe eyes at the man she was meant to have hardened her heart to.
“You’re going to laugh.”
“I doubt it.” Being petulant wasn’t making much of an impact on her grinning husband.
“Guess.”
“No.”
“C’mon, Katie. What do you think the road’s called?” He drew her name out all slow and Southern-style, as if he were skittering the vowels down the back of her sweater with a revitalizing handful of snow. Verbal retaliation for her juvenile attack?
“I don’t know. Rudolph Place?”
“Christmas Lane.”
“It is not!” she retorted, swiping at the air between them.
“Sure is.” He looked at his phone screen, where she could see him increasing the size of their location on his map app. “And if my map-reading is still as good as it was in the Scouts...we’ve got Christmas Farm up ahead, about a mile. Unsurprisingly, they sell Christmas trees.”
“You can tell that from a map?”
He turned the screen so she could see it. A lit
tle bubble ad had popped up over the satellite image, with “Christmas Tree Farm” on it and their opening hours.
Ah. So he wasn’t all-knowing. Just mostly all-knowing.
An image of an admissions form pinged into her mind. “That’s where the Klausens live! I thought they’d made that up.”
“You doubted the rosy-cheeked and extremely jolly Mr. and Mrs. Klausen’s good word?” Josh teased.
“Yes.” She scrunched up her face. “But you always knew I was a Scrooge.”
“I knew nothing of the kind, my little Katiebird.”
She didn’t say anything in return. Couldn’t. He knew more about her than anyone in the world. He’d been the only one she had well and truly let in.
“Look—there’s a chapel just a couple of hundred yards down the road. We can hang out there. Safer than here in the pitch-black. Have you called a tow truck?”
Katie shook her head and blew on her fingers. “Let me grab my bag. I’ve got an automobile emergency services card in there.”
“Prepared for everything, aren’t you, Katie?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She wheeled on him, handbag swinging around and banging into her hip as she struck a defensive pose.
It wasn’t her fault she had had to behave as a grown-up for most of her childhood, let alone after the death of their daughter, when Josh had rediscovered his inner teenager.
“Nothing,” Josh replied, fatigue suddenly evident in his voice. “It didn’t mean anything. Should we start walking to the chapel while you call them so we don’t get cold?”
Katie rang the company, only just managing to keep the bite out of her voice when she discovered they were short-staffed and the wait would be a while. Everyone had bad days. She and Josh were no different. And compared to what they’d been through in the past, this was a doddle.
They crunched along the side of the road in silence, Josh holding no particular path with the beam of his flashlight. It illuminated an icicle-laden tree here. A slushy puddle there. A thickening of the snow in the air all around them. The silence of the snowy night began to close in on Katie. More accurately, the silence between them. Between her and the man she had thanked her lucky stars she’d met all those years ago.