by Laura Wright
“Sleep well, Emily,” he whispered as she opened the door and slipped inside.
“You too,” she returned.
Her skin both chilled and overheated, she closed the door and ran across the foyer to the stairs, careful to be quiet. It wasn’t until she entered her bedroom and slid under the covers that she realized she was still wearing his coat.
* * *
As much as he’d tried not to, Blue had slept in the next day. Only for an hour, but still . . . Problem was, after he’d gotten home, sleep had still managed to elude him. Emily was running through his mind. Her eyes, her voice, how she looked in that robe, her curls all mussed, her cheeks pink from sleep and the cold. She was pregnant with his child, and he couldn’t make out how he felt about it. Was he scared? Curious? Happy? Worried? Angry? Was he excited?
Should he have been excited?
What was there in him that said Dad? He didn’t know a thing about that. Was never shown that.
Goddamn you, Everett. Maybe if you hadn’t been so ashamed of me, of claiming me, I’d know what to do now . . .
Heading up to the main house, the sun high in the sky, Blue forced those thoughts out of his head. He needed to get to all the work that was surely waiting for him. He just had to fill his belly first, maybe gulp down a cup of coffee before getting saddled up. He hoped the cowboys were down in the south pasture starting on those fences. It’d be a good day if they could finish before the sun went down.
He took the porch steps two at a time. He hadn’t talked to his mother since he’d walked out on her the other night. He’d tried like hell to keep himself even, unaffected, but things like that, holding on to anger, were getting harder and harder for him. Not only was he growing curious about the past—wanting to hear those stories about her and Everett. How they’d met. Why they’d fallen for each other. How Everett had reacted when he’d heard Blue was coming along. And with that last bit, even more so now. But with Emily pregnant, baby on the way, the actions of his mother scarred him deeper still. How could she have let him grow up without a daddy?
He sure as hell wasn’t going to let that baby grow up with a question like that.
He entered the house and walked down the hall to the kitchen. Normally, he got a whiff of what was for breakfast and heard a few sounds of pots banging or dishes being washed. But today, the good smells were accompanied by a ton of chatter. Blue’s guts twisted, and for a second he contemplated turning around and heading to the diner for eggs and bacon. They weren’t usually here. The Cavanaughs. And by the sounds of it, all three brothers, and two of their women, were tucking in to Elena’s vittles.
He stopped at the open door, his back to the wall, and listened. They were talking about Cass and Natalie—and the diary. The cold anger he’d tried to shrug off a moment ago was back. With a damn vengeance. Natalie. Such an accomplished liar. Stood there in her house not three weeks ago, looking confused as he’d demanded to know what Cass Cavanaugh’s diary was doing inside one of her cookbooks. She’d found it, she’d said. A long time ago, she’d said. And why was Blue looking at her like that? All accusatory?
A growl exited his lips. How had it been so easy to fool him?
“To me it just sounds like a girl with a crush.” It was Mac talking, still refusing to see what was right in front of her nose.
Blue shook his head. His once closest friend was deluding herself.
“You do remember who her father was, right?” James’s fiancée, Sheridan, stated in a tight tone. “How he nearly took my life. And all that he said to James, all that he implied about Cass’s disappearance. Maybe he knew Natalie had something to do with it. Makes sense that he would try to protect her . . .”
“Your woman’s pretty smart there, J,” Cole put in.
“It’s one of the many reasons I’m marrying her,” James answered.
“And that makes you smart,” Sheridan answered, a smile in her voice.
“Okay, maybe Natalie is a little unstable,” Mac acquiesced, forcing the conversation back. “But do you guys really think she did this?”
“I do,” James said.
“And I believe people are capable of anything,” Deacon added like he was in a board meeting or something.
“Listen to this,” Cole said. “‘Diary of Cassandra Cavanaugh. May 10, 2002. Dear Diary, my new friend is the best. She doesn’t think anything’s wrong with Sweet being older than me. In fact, she says she likes an older boy too. It’s so great to have someone to talk to about this stuff.’”
Cole stopped reading. “Do you think that’s true?” he asked. “That Natalie was seeing someone? Or was she talking about Sweet? Aka Billy Felthouse? Because if she was, we need to put your man on that too, Deac.”
“Let’s give Billy a call,” James suggested. “See if he knows any more than what he told us at the barbecue.”
“I hate that she had to search out someone else, especially Natalie Palmer, to talk to,” Mac said softly. “I wasn’t doing my job as best friend.”
“Not even close to being true, honey,” Deacon said. And Blue imagined the man stealing an arm around his wife. “Billy did say he remembered her being around. With these diary entries it’s getting clearer and clearer to me that Natalie was stalking them. I can’t believe it wasn’t clear to the sheriff.”
“They’re not seeing it from a family’s point of view,” James said. “It’s a girl having a crush on a boy. They’ve seen that a hundred times without an outcome like Cass’s.”
“Well, that may be so,” Deacon countered. “But they need to see it from all points of view to get at the truth.”
Blue was glad the Cavanaughs were taking this seriously. He’d been concerned that they weren’t. That, like Mac, they believed it was just a crush and that Natalie had found the diary and was guilty only of keeping it from them all.
He pushed away from the wall and headed into the kitchen. Surprisingly, Elena wasn’t there. But the Cavanaughs were just where he’d pictured them: huddled around the table, the plates in front of them licked nearly clean. He went straight for the coffeepot near the sink and poured himself a cup.
“Hey there, Blue,” James called out.
“How’s it going, Blue?” Cole this time.
“Morning.” He turned to see the lot of them. All three brothers, Sheridan, and Mac. The latter gave him a kind, hopeful smile.
“There’re pancakes and bacon,” she said.
“Not sure I’m all that hungry,” he said. Or that I want to stick around long enough to eat it. “Might take something small to go.”
Mac’s smile faltered. She always seemed to be looking for a different expression on his face, a different way of talking to her. Anything that signaled things were back to the way they used to be.
He wished she’d just understand that wasn’t about to happen. Too much muddy water under the bridge. Not enough time for him to slug his way out of it yet.
“Have a seat, man,” Cole said, cocking his head toward an empty chair next to Mac.
“Yeah, Blue,” James agreed. “Maybe you can help us figure this out.” He grabbed the diary and held it up. “After all, you were in close contact with Natalie for a while.”
He couldn’t help it. His jaw went tight as a trap. Even though he was glad the brothers were taking this shit seriously, he hated that his online relationship with Natalie had become so public. Hated that people knew how stupid and vulnerable and gullible he’d been. But that’s what happened when you called the sheriff. Why had he been at Natalie’s? How did he know her? How had he found the diary? At the time, Natalie herself had been pretty forthcoming on the subject. Real proud of their connection. Blue, not so much.
“I don’t really know anything,” he said, then took a healthy gulp of his coffee.
“She ever mention life outside of River Black?” Deacon asked, cutting up a stack of pancakes. “Like vacations she took or a cooking school she went to?”
Cooking school? What the hell was that about
. . . ? “No.”
Deacon’s brows lifted. “I find that hard to believe. Especially the school. My PI’s on it, and he says it was a huge part of her past.”
“We didn’t talk about the past,” Blue said between tightly clenched teeth. “Didn’t get personal.”
Cole snorted. “That’s online dating for you. Sure glad I don’t have to suffer that hell anymore.”
“Cole,” Mac scolded. “Insensitive much? Jeez.”
He looked confused. “All I’m sayin’ is I’m grateful to have my baby, Grace.”
“I got work to get to,” Blue said, setting his cup in the sink. He stuffed a pancake and some bacon into a napkin and headed for the door. “See you all later.”
“Hey, Blue,” Cole called out. “I didn’t mean anything by that, you know.”
“Sure, I know,” he called back.
“Seriously. We’re nothing but thankful. You got Cass’s diary for us. We owe you.”
Those last words followed him out the door and onto the porch. We owe you. Ever since that night three weeks ago, he’d just sort of given up—the fight for understanding his past, the fight for Cass, the fight for the Triple. He was out of gas. Not worth the battle. But this morning things were different. Felt different. Having a home, a secure home, and a livelihood long-term was about more than himself now. After all, he thought as he headed down the porch steps and out into the sunlight, munching on his pancake, a new life was coming into this world. A Perez.
No, he supposed, a Cavanaugh.
Eight
Emily flipped through the magazine and pretended to be interested in Diaper Genies and baby slings. But really her mind was on the exam she was about to have. Nerves skittered through her. Mostly because she didn’t really know what to expect. Blood tests? Ultrasound? And it wasn’t a doctor she knew. She’d picked someone three towns over so there wouldn’t be any talking in River Black. After all, she had yet to tell her parents. She’d wanted to wait until after the doctor’s appointment, until she knew that everything was as it should be, before she dropped the bomb.
“Emily Shiver?”
Emily glanced up to see a nurse standing in the doorway leading to the examining rooms. “Yes.” She rose quickly and followed. The exam room was very neat and clean and homey, with pale green paint on the walls and black-and-white photographs of the Texas countryside. After asking a ton of questions, making her pee into a cup, and then taking her vitals, the nurse left Emily alone to change.
Nothing like a paper gown that leaves your ass uncovered to make a girl feel comfortable and at ease. She grimaced. Good thing she’d told Steven her appointment wasn’t till next week. Having him tag along¸ asking dumb questions and making fun of her paper dress, would’ve only made things more uncomfortable.
After she was done and sitting on the exam table, she played on her phone for a few minutes before there was a knock on the door. “Miss Shiver?”
“Yes,” she called. “I’m all ready.”
The nurse stuck her head in. “The doctor’s actually going to be another five minutes.”
“Oh, that’s fine. I can wait.”
“There’s a Blue Perez out here,” the nurse continued. “Says he’s the baby’s father.”
Emily’s heart stalled inside her chest. Blue? Outside? Telling people he was her child’s father. What the hell? She wasn’t sure she’d heard the woman correctly. But then again, yes, she had.
The nurse looked expectantly at her. “Should I let him in?”
“Umm,” she answered dumbly. “Okay. Yes.”
After the nurse left, Emily stared at the door. How in the world had he found her? Yes, she’d told him she had an appointment today, but not where it was. And she hadn’t told anyone else either. She was miles away from River Black, for heaven’s sake.
Just as she was attempting to Sherlock Holmes the answer out of herself, the door opened.
“I’m sorry I’m late, darlin’.” Blue walked in, confident, charming, looking all tall and bronzed, blue eyes blazing. A Texas girl’s dream. “Ten head broke through the newly fixed fence and ended up getting stuck in a three-foot bog.”
Well that explained things.
Not.
She suddenly became aware of how she looked. Not confident or charming. And definitely not ranch-sexy like this one. No. She was sitting on the table in a paper gown, bare legs hanging between those cold metal stirrups, toes not at all polished, hair piled on top of her head—absolutely no makeup.
God, it wasn’t fair.
Why was he here? Really? Yesterday, he’d said he’d wanted to know what the doc said, not that he was coming to the appointment.
The nurse left then, closing the door all gentle. And Emily turned on her surprise visitor. “Late?” she repeated.
“What?”
“You’re not late, Perez. You’re not even supposed to be here.”
Shadows moved across his eyes. “I think this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” she said, trying to appear casual and together in her paper robe.
“Do I?” he asked tightly.
“Yes.” She huffed out a breath. Damn this man. “Look, I didn’t mean to make it sound like you weren’t welcome. It’s just that you said you weren’t coming, so this is all a big shock.”
“That’s not exactly what I said,” he amended. “I said I wanted to hear what the doc had to say.” He came over to her then, stood near the examination table she was sitting on, and looked down into her face. “Do you want me to go, Emily?”
Breathless, she stared up at him. Did she? Want him to go? Her heart squeezed and she released a breath. “No.” She gave him a half smile. “No. I’m glad you came.”
Before she could ask him just how he’d managed to find her, there was a knock at the door and both the doctor and the nurse came in.
“Morning,” the doctor called brightly as he stepped into the room. He was around Emily’s height, her father’s age, very trim, and had the kindest eyes she’d ever seen. He stuck a hand out to Emily first. “It’s good to meet you.”
“You too,” she told him.
Then he reached for Blue’s hand, shook it heartily. “I’m Dr. Page.”
“Blue Perez,” Blue told him.
The doctor turned to Emily with just a quick lift of the eyebrow.
“This is the baby’s father,” she said, her chest feeling a little tight as the words were released. What would Dr. Page think if he knew she and Blue were practically strangers? Not that she planned on telling him or anything.
“Well,” the doctor began, “we can go in any order you’d like, Emily. This is your show. You run it how you see fit.”
Ease moved through her at the man’s words. It had been a real crapshoot going outside River Black for care, but the Yelpers had been right on the money. She was thinking she might’ve hit the lottery with this one. “What do you normally do?” she asked him. “I think I’d be fine with that.”
“Usually, I like to do the ultrasound first,” he said, pulling up his gray leather wheely chair and sitting down. “Then a chat in my office where you can ask me a ton of questions and I do my best to answer them. Then we’ll take some blood, and I know Mary Louise here likes to follow that up with a doughnut.”
Emily glanced over at the nurse, who grinned at her. “I take care of mine, honey. Got some glazed chocolate back there with your name on it.”
Oh yes, this could in fact be my favorite place on earth.
“So we’ll start with the ultrasound, then,” the doctor said, starting to set up, pulling out a pair of gloves.
“Is it possible to see the heartbeat?” Emily asked.
“We’re a little early yet, but we can give it a try.” The doctor motioned to Mary Louise, and the nurse took over setting up the metal tray and ultrasound machine. “Let’s have you lie back, Emily. Mr. Perez, over here,” he said, guiding Blue to stand near Emily’s shoulde
r so he could see the monitor while giving her a little privacy. The doctor took the long wandlike instrument the nurse handed to him. “Now, this might feel a little cold.”
As Emily stared at the screen, she felt the wand slip gently into her body. She’d heard about ultrasounds, seen pictures of little bean-shaped babies, but it was something altogether different to know that what she was seeing on the monitor was hers. At first, as a few shapes came up, she didn’t know at all what she was seeing. Then Dr. Page started pointing things out.
“This here is your uterus,” he said, indicating something that looked like a dark, kidney-shaped swimming pool.
“Does everything look okay?” Blue asked from beside her. He sounded a little anxious.
“Everything looks wonderful,” the doctor assured him. “Just as it should be.”
“Okay.” Blue leaned closer, squinting at the screen. “Well, I don’t see anything. Are you sure it’s all right? The baby—”
“It’s fine, Blue,” Emily said, glancing up. He looked pensive as he stared at the monitor, his jaw tight. She couldn’t believe how nervous he was. And yet it filled her with just the slightest breath of hope.
“Mary Louise will show you, Mr. Perez.” Dr. Page moved the wand a little. “Right . . . there.”
The nurse came around and pointed to a small crescent just resting against the bottom of the kidney-shaped pool. For several moments, no one said a thing. Just stared. Recognized. Comprehended. Realized. For Emily, though, it was as if the world shifted. The world she’d known before. Free, single, independent. It no longer existed. She was a mother now. That little crescent relied on her, needed her. Her heart kicked inside her chest. The future no longer belonged to just her.
“Is it okay?” Blue asked the doctor, pulling Emily from her thoughts. “It’s so small.”
“The fetus looks healthy,” Dr. Page assured him. “Measures well. We should see a heartbeat the next time you’re in.” He gently removed the wand and covered her. “Mary Louise got a picture for you. Your first baby picture.”
Again, Emily’s heart kicked. This was real. More than real—it was happening and she needed to be prepared. Needed to get her life in order. Needed to tell her family.