having a guy in my bed probably wasn’t his idea of socializing —
though it very well might be my new favorite thing.
I blushed as my dad’s eyes scanned the bed; the duvet was
pushed away and fell onto the floor in a pool, and both pillows
looked used. I blinked at him and waited for him to begin asking
questions. Instead, he rubbed his head, saying something under his
breath and then walked out of the room.
I exhaled in relief and texted Demetri.
COAST IS CLR.
He texted me back.
COME OUTSDE.
I threw on a long sleeve Henley over my tank top and ran
down the stairs to find Demetri standing at my door.
“What are you doing?” My eyes scanned his bed hair and
cocky grin as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and lifted his
shoulders.
“I forgot something.”
I examined him further. He was wearing all his clothes.
“Not clothes,” he answered, reading my mind.
I squinted against the sun and lifted my hand to my
forehead so I could see him clearly.”Okay, it’s too early to argue.
What did you lose and how can I help you find it?”
He took a step closer to me and then another and another
until we were nearly chest to chest. My knees felt weak as he
wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me full on the
mouth. I fell into him, easily trapped by his magnetism.
“Your morning kiss,” he said pulling away. “Good morning,
Alyssa.”
Okay, so I know swooning doesn’t really happen, but I
could have sworn in that moment that my legs gave way, that my
body swayed into his, and that I seriously saw fireworks go off in
the sky as he bent and kissed my hand tenderly then jogged away.
“Who was that?” My dad said from behind me, scaring the
crap out of my frozen moment in time.
“I, uh—” What was he? My boyfriend? No, that would be
crazy, wouldn’t it? “He’s my good friend.”
“How old is he?” Dad crossed his arms and gazed out
toward the street. Clearly he hadn’t seen Demetri’s face, otherwise
he would have known exactly who he was talking about.
“Thirty,” I answered deadpan.
“What!” The tiny vein in my dad’s forehead looked like it
was going to pop. Ah, it had been too long since I’d seen him show
any sort of emotion except pity around me.
I slapped him on the back. “Don’t worry, Dad. I know what
I’m doing. We’ve got a plan. First he’s going to move in here with
us, you know to be smart and save money. And then we hope to
get married and start a family, possibly build a second wing on the
house. He just got out of jail, so it should be hard for him to find
work, but hey, we have the taffy shop!”
“Thirty?” Dad repeated, obviously still stuck on the whole
age thing.
I nodded.
“Wait. What?” Dad shook his head and then finally looked
down at my face. I was grinning like an idiot.
Dad’s eyes narrowed. “Very funny.”
I sighed. “I sure thought so.”
“Great to see you’ve got your sense of humor back,” he
grumbled then placed his hand over his chest. “I thought I was
going to have a heart attack.”
“I keep you young.” I pointed my finger in his face and
laughed again.
And that’s when my dad burst into tears.
“Dad!” I reached for him, but he stepped away from me and
wiped his eyes. “I’ve been so damn worried about you, Alyssa.”
I sighed and reached for my dad’s hand. He took my hand
then and pulled me into a hug. “I love you. I’ve just worried
that…”
“Dad, I’m not going to kill myself.” My face was pressed
against his chest so hard that my voice was muffled.
He exhaled a long, slow breath. I stepped back. “I know.”
He held my hands in his. “But you aren’t the same person you were
a few years back. You used to smile.”
“I smile,” I said defensively.
“You rarely smile,” Dad pointed out. “You work longer
hours than mom and I, and you don’t have any friends.”
Why did people keep reminding me I didn’t have friends? I
nodded solemnly and shrugged. “I have Demetri now.”
“Do you think it’s smart to have only one friend who’s a
boy? What about girls? Don’t girls need that sort of thing?”
“I have Mom.”
Dad rolled his eyes. “Family doesn’t count.”
“I met Nat Murray yesterday. She’s pretty cool. And I met
Holly at group therapy. Maybe we can all hang out sometime.” I
gave him a firm nod and then punched him in the shoulder. “Cheer
up, Dad. I’m going to be fine.”
I walked slowly up the stairs to my dad saying “I can’t lose
you again” under his breath.
The thing was, I didn’t want to get lost again either. I
wanted to remember today, remember how it felt to be in Demetri’s
arms. To tell him all my secrets and have him give it to me straight.
I should have been mad at him, but he was so brutally honest with
me. More honest than anyone, Mrs. Murray included, had been
about my situation. He called me selfish. ME! The girl who watched
her boyfriend die as she tried to save his life.
I never thought of my grief as being selfish. In my own little
world it was like this little trophy I kept in honor of Brady, in honor
of his accomplishments and everything he was to me. It never once
occurred to me that by holding on to him, I was selfishly holding
onto my past and refusing to move on.
When I walked into my room, it hit me — a wave of reality.
My eyes scanned the area. The Justin Bieber poster was still on my
door, Brady’s sweatshirt was on the floor. My pom-poms sat
untouched in the corner, pictures of Brady and me littered one side
of the room, and yearbooks sat at the foot of my bed.
My room was like a tomb, a memorial.
No wonder I hadn’t been able to let go.
I looked at my cell. I only had about an hour before work. It
wasn’t much, but it was enough time to at least start what I should
have done years ago.
Heal.
Chapter Twenty-two
Demetri
I sang as I walked back to my house. I’m not even ashamed
to admit it. Sure, I got a few weird looks, but I didn’t care. Hell,
they were getting a free concert as far as I was concerned. I mean, I
know I hadn’t sung in front of people in a while, the taffy corner
didn’t count, but I was still a rock star, right?
I did a little dance move as I jogged up to my door and
belted out the last part of the song before spinning around in a
circle.
The door opened wide, revealing a very stoic looking Bob.
“You high?”
“On life.” I nodded and lifted my hand for a high five.
Bob shook his head and shoved past me. “I’m going to run
to the store. Think you can stay out of trouble for a few hours?”
I nodded. “My virtue will stay intact, this I swear. If any
women scream and throw th
eir bras at me, I promise to keep my
pants on. If they touch me, I’ll scream rape.”
“Can’t rape the willing…” Bob smirked. “But I wasn’t
talking about the women. Clearly you’ve been seeing Miss Alyssa
again, if that giant smile is any indicator. I was talking about, you
know… the stuff that came today.”
“Stuff? As in, presents? Clothes? Food? What stuff?”
The vein in Bob’s head twitched. “You don’t know? Haven’t
you checked any of your messages on your cell?”
“No.” To be honest I forgot all about my cell. I reached into
my back pocket and pulled it out. “Shit. How do I have thirty
missed calls?”
“Yes, well, if you don’t mind stepping out of the clouds for a
minute, I’ll explain.” Bob was the best security you could ask for,
almost like a real human, if you ignored the fact that he looked like
a really pissed off Navy Seal.
“Shoot.” I crossed my arms.
“Short version.” Bob cleared his throat. “You’re
everywhere.”
“Dude, I’m famous, kind of goes with the territory.”
“No, you misunderstand me, you’re everywhere.”
“Care to explain?” My phone buzzed in my hand again. It
was Alec. “Hold on. What’s up, bro?”
“Finally!” he yelled, and then whispered. “I got ahold of
him.”
“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?”
“Turn on the TV,” Alec grumbled. I looked to Bob. He
followed me back in the house. The same house I had left not
twenty-four hours earlier looked transformed. Bottles of
champagne-filled baskets were everywhere. I ground my teeth and
flipped on the entertainment channel.
“The big news today, Demetri Daniels! Singer turned reality
star!”
“Am I getting punked?” I said into the phone.
Alec laughed. “I wish, man, I wish. Nope, it seems there
were some ulterior motives with having us stay in Seaside for our
break.”
“No shit.” I closed my eyes and counted to five as the
woman on TV continued talking.
“It’s finally confirmed that the new reality show Seaside is in
the works for Demetri! Who knew the kid could be so entertaining!
Cameras have been following him around for the past month.
Apparently, the studio had been planning on doing a reality show
for some time, but since AD2 took a hiatus for some much needed
emotional rest, it looked as if it would fall through. But recent
sources say the show is back on!”
“I didn’t agree to this.” I sat on the couch and cursed again.
“Alec, you know I didn’t agree to this.”
“Neither did I. Doesn’t mean it isn’t gonna happen, bro. I’ve
been on the phone with our publicist all day. Apparently it’s been
in the works for a while. Somehow it was leaked to the media, and
now, well, now that the clips of you walking around Seaside with
Alyssa have gone viral, the record company is salivating.”
“Thus the champagne.” I groaned.
“You’re drinking?” Alec yelled into the phone.
“No. But there’s enough alcohol in this house to kill an
elephant, that’s for sure. I’ll have Bob get rid of it.”
“Demetri…” Alec sounded worried.
“Bro, I can handle pressure okay? I’ve got taffy, and it’s
possible I slept with Alyssa last night.”
“In a bed?”
“No dude, in the ocean. Yes, in a bed, not that anything
happened. We—” I shrugged as a shit-eating grin spread across my
face. “It was nice.”
“Are you sure you’re not drinking?”
“No, you ass, I’m not drinking.”
Alec laughed into the phone. “Sorry, but you have to
understand that the day you choose cuddling over sex is the day
I’m wearing a dress.”
“Better go shopping then…”
Alec laughed again and sighed. “Dude, I really am sorry
about all this. Just keep doing what you’re doing. We’ll figure it
out, okay? Until then, don’t go outside.”
“Trapped, just like before.” I cursed. “I won’t do it.”
“Come again?”
“Alec, dude, I can’t do it. I can’t just sit in my house all day. I
really will go insane. I’ll start making bad choices. I mean, I
honestly can’t get bored… I don’t want to think about what will
happen if I do.”
Alec cursed into the phone and then was silent for a bit.
“Fine, just don’t do anything stupid in public, and when the media
asks you about the show, don’t say a thing. Just… be normal.”
“Said the fish out of water,” I grumbled. “Fine, I’m guessing
the local news won’t be showing up for another hour or so. Takes
them a while to get their local celebrity gossip. After all there is
only one Starbucks.”
“Dude, if it bothers you that much, just build one.”
“Now there’s a thought… We’ve already established how
sexy I look in a visor. Imagine me in the green apron.”
“You need taffy or something, you’re losing your mind.”
“Agh.” I cursed and flipped off the TV. “Story of my life.”
“Later, bro. I’ll text or call if I find out anything on my end.
Just stay invisible, don’t drink and drive, don’t do drugs, make
good choices, guard your virtue—”
“Screw off.” I hung up the phone laughing.
Bob moved to stand in front of me. “Know any restaurants
interested in some free Cristal?”
Bob laughed. “I’ll go make some donations, shall I?”
“That’s the spirit.” I got up and slapped him on the back. I
didn’t want to watch any more TV. I mean, most of what people
said was crap anyways. I just wasn’t sure how I was supposed to
talk to Alyssa and the rest of the group about all of this. I mean, the
stuff everyone was dealing with was super private. I would rather
die than have them think they couldn’t trust me, or that I was just
waiting to put them on TV. Then again, people got weird when
opportunities for fame came up. I just hoped they wouldn’t flip
tonight during the meeting like Mrs. Murray had when she came
barreling through my door that morning. Threatened. She’d
actually threatened me. It had been a long time since an adult had
done so much as point their finger in my face. I told her I would
step down as group leader, which just made her more furious.
Apparently, it wasn’t the whole reality show thing that had her
ticked. It was her worry that all that extra attention would hurt the
rest of the group. After all, group therapy was counseling, which
legally wasn’t anyone’s business but that person’s. She said she’d
notify the members that they no longer had to attend and shook her
head.
I felt like I had let everyone down. Again. This time I knew it
was my fault. If I hadn’t nearly killed myself last year, our
publicists wouldn’t be trying to find some lame ways to salvage my
reputation. I just wish they would have told me what they had up
their sleeves before announci
ng it to the media.
Later that night I found out just how thrilled everyone was
about the whole rumor of me doing a reality show.
Holly and Aaron glared when I opened the door. I cursed
and ran my hands through my hair. “Not that I have to defend
myself, but it’s not true.”
“What’s not true?” Sam pushed past them and hit me on the
shoulder.
“This asshole is doing a reality show here in Seaside.
Cameras have been following him for the past month. So was that
whole speech just for TV then, Demetri?” Aaron was chest to chest
with me. I took a step back and put my hands in the air.
“Okay, first off, you need to chill. Second, do you see any
cameras in my house? I mean, seriously? Third, do you think I
want all my own shit on live TV for people to see? Do you realize
how messed up my life has been? It’s not like I want to broadcast
the fact that my brother got my girlfriend pregnant, or that I had a
drug problem.”
“Your brother? A son?” Holly tilted her head.
Crap. I forgot I had only told Alyssa, and that it wasn’t in
group. “It’s not important.” I glared at both of them and waited.
They slowly nodded their heads and walked into the living
room. I exhaled and stole a glance at Sam. “You mad too?”
He shook his head. “Girls love celebrities, why would I be
mad?”
I groaned. “Panty throwing isn’t all it’s cracked out to be.”
“Yeah, pretty sure that’s a lie.” Sam laughed and walked
into the living room. I waited near the door. How the hell was I
going to explain this to Alyssa? She’d been working all day. She
sent me a text an hour ago saying she’d be at group, but it was ten
minutes past six and she still wasn’t here. I began to pace.
The doorbell rang. I nearly knocked myself out opening the
door.
Alyssa stood there, her smile was so bright I found myself
staring at her for a few minutes in complete silence.
“May I come in? Or are you just going to stare like an idiot
all night?” She put her hand on her hips. She was wearing low
slung hip hugger jeans with a cute hot pink tank top and flip flops.
I wanted to maul her.
I stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. “How about
we go hang out alone… and leave everyone here?”
“Some group leader you are…” came a voice behind me. I
turned to see Sam shaking his head in amusement. “Come on,
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