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by Rachel Van Dyken


  eyes squinted and then she laughed. “Was that the trick?”

  I let out a laugh and gave the signal to Alec, the same one I

  used to give him at clubs that meant watch out I’m about to get down.

  Music filtered through the sound system in the room. “Party

  like it’s the end of the world…” I started singing. “Turn it up, turn

  it up, it ain’t the end of the world.”

  “Demetri, what are you doing?” Alyssa stepped back, her

  face slightly blushing. I just yelled. “Turn it up!”

  The music was loud enough to disturb the peace in the

  entire neighborhood, but I didn’t care. I pulled Alyssa against me

  and began to dance like it really was the end of the world, which in

  my mind if she kept looking at me like that, it sure as hell felt like

  it.

  A guy can only take so much teasing before he dies for lust

  or want, or whatever the hell I was feeling right then.

  She wasn’t a bad dancer, then again she had been a

  cheerleader, and then she busted out. Yes, busted out. I really

  didn’t know how else to explain it, but I was kind of shocked into

  submission as my eyes watched her hips sway. Her arms went

  above her head and then she was doing some crazy thing with her

  leg where she wrapped it around me flipped around.

  People cheered. I barely heard them — all I saw was her,

  and the smile on her face. The smile that I knew was completely

  genuine, not hidden, not fake, and not for show. It was all for me.

  I joined in dancing. And then Alec and Nat joined us.

  Soon every single one of the friends invited to the friends’

  party were in the middle of the floor jumping up and down.

  “You guys suck!” I heard a male voice yell from the door. I

  glanced up. Evan walked in with Alesha. We’d met this last school

  year. They were both super good friends of Nat and consequently

  were accepted into our tight-knit group almost immediately. It

  helped that Evan was hilarious. Alesha finally stopped fainting in

  our presence, and now I think I irritated her as much as she

  irritated me.

  They didn’t even pause. They just jumped into the middle of

  the dance floor and began going to town.

  The song ended and I was already sweaty. I pulled Alyssa

  against me, she pushed back and laughed. “Was that your party

  trick? Oh, look at me! I’m Demetri Daniels and I can dance!” I knew

  she was teasing, but I’m competitive. I think I proved my point

  back when we did bumper cars, I mean seriously.

  “Set it up!” I yelled at Alec.

  “No, dude. Remember what happened last time?”

  “Do it!” I yelled back.

  Alec smirked and began hooking in a new game and game

  station.

  “What’s going on?” Alyssa asked peering around me.

  “Dancing competition, no big deal.”

  “I’ll win,” she said confidently.

  “If you win, you get one favor. If I win…” I licked my lips

  and allowed my eyes to graze her from head to toe. “I get you… all

  night.”

  “Deal.” She held out her hand. I took it and then yanked her

  into my arms sealing our deal with a hungry kiss.

  “It’s ready!” Alec called. He’d turned the music down, so

  now the game system was getting filtered through the speakers.

  Everyone gathered around.

  The first song was one of ours, which Evan said was

  cheating. Bastard. Of course, the song landed on One Direction. I

  mean, really? Do these guys know how much they haunt my

  everyday life? Seriously, someone should tell them. I would vote

  for Nat, but she’d probably pass out if she met them. I mean, the

  girl didn’t even care when we moved into her small town. We were

  even more famous at the time, but did she throw her panties? No.

  Did she ask for autographs? No. But the minute anyone mentioned

  One Direction, she got all flustered and what not.

  Dumb.

  “Ready?” Alyssa glanced at me.

  “I’m always ready, sweetheart.”

  The music started and we began to dance in front of the

  Kinect.

  I destroyed her. I felt kind of bad. I mean, she was getting all

  sweaty in her sexy dress, and then my eyes fell on a bead of sweat

  as it ran down her back, and I’m pretty sure I just stopped

  breathing.

  “One more!” she shouted. Everyone cheered.

  The song that popped on was Justin Bieber. Of course it was,

  because you couldn’t have One Direction without Justin Bieber. I

  was cursed. I was freaking cursed.

  We started dancing, and then all of a sudden Alyssa froze. I

  tried to encourage her to keep going. I slightly punched her in the

  arm as if to get her back into it, but instead of dancing, she shook

  her head a few times and then ran out the door to the upstairs

  balcony.

  “Uhh…” I scratched my head. “Keep playing, guys. I’ll be

  right back.”

  I chased after her.

  She was leaning over the side of the railing as if she was

  going to throw up. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I just freaked, sorry.”

  “Brady?” I asked trying to keep the irritation out of my

  voice.

  “It was our song.” She shrugged. “No big deal, honest. I’m

  fine. I think I was getting a little hot too.”

  “You weren’t getting hot, you were already on fire.” I

  cupped her face and kissed her lightly on the mouth.

  “I want to forget him,” she said against my lips. “When I’m

  with you. I don’t feel him anymore.”

  “Is that what you want?” I asked feeling more excited about

  our relationship than I had in days.

  “Yeah.” Alyssa looked down. “Demetri, you said you

  weren’t going to ask me to choose, but you need to know…” Her

  lower lip trembled. Bright blue eyes looked back at me. Tears

  welled at the bottom of her thick black eyelashes. “I choose you.”

  Can a person’s heart skip a beat? I swear mine just did. I

  opened my mouth to say something, but nothing happened. I

  couldn’t find my voice.

  Alyssa smirked. “Cat got your tongue?” It was the same

  thing I’d asked the day before when she was all nervous.

  “No.” I jerked her head so that our lips crushed against one

  another. “You do. You have everything.”

  I gave up trying to protect my shattered heart. I gave up

  trying to be strong. Everything — every single wall I had erected

  was gone, and in its place was her.

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Alyssa

  “You smile, I smile,” Brady crooned in my ear. His voice wasn’t

  the best, but it made me giggle.

  “Stop!” I pressed my hands against his chest. “Fine, I’m smiling!”

  “Good.” He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles.

  “You know I hate it when you’re sad.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Babe, I have you. As long as I have you I’ll

  always smile. I promise.”

  “Nope.” He shook his head. “Not good enough. I need you to

  promise me you’ll smile even if I’m gone.”

  “Like when you�
��re at school?” I asked, confused.

  “Yeah, or when I’m old and gray and I die before you do, because

  I’m a selfish bastard like that.”

  At that I laughed. “Okay, I’ll smile regardless.”

  He sighed and dropped my hand. “Sometimes I feel guilty for

  keeping you, Alyssa. The things I’ve done… I don’t know. I just feel like

  this giant mess when I’m around you and all your goodness.”

  “I can be bad,” I snapped.

  “Whoa, easy, killer.” Brady held up his hands. “You know what I

  mean. Never lose your smile and never lose your innocence, okay? Trust

  me, it’s not worth it.”

  The song continued playing, but I panicked. It wasn’t the

  same panic I’d had before. It was something else that I couldn’t

  quite put my finger on. Memories of Brady had been coming back

  full force, and for some reason I was remembering things

  differently. Like how whenever we were together it was almost like

  he was warning me, or like somehow he knew there was an

  expiration date on our time together.

  I needed air. Once outside, I was able to breathe and then all

  of a sudden I felt peace. It had nothing to do with the warm night

  air or the salty breeze, and had everything to do with the guy who

  chased after me.

  Demetri Daniels.

  I needed him more than I needed the fresh air. I needed his

  touch, his kiss. Everything about him made me feel whole again.

  Being with him wasn’t unhealthy. It wasn’t as if I needed him to

  live a normal day to day life. No, he just made everything else

  easier. If I had to climb Mount Everest, I had a feeling Demetri

  would nod his head and say, “Where do I sign up?”

  I needed his positive attitude. But more than anything, I

  needed his encouragement, his love.

  “I choose you.” The words were out of my mouth before I

  could stop them. And the look on his face was something I don’t

  think I’ll ever forget.

  “Let’s go cut the cake.” I nudged him as we walked back

  into the party. The rest of the friends were still playing the Kinect,

  but Alec and Nat were busy cutting cake.

  Sam stumbled next to me. I caught his arm and recoiled as

  the smell of whiskey hit me full force. The only reason I even knew

  it was whiskey was because I had picked up Brady one night after a

  drunken party. He had sobbed his eyes out and said he was sorry. I

  think he felt bad that he was drunk.

  “Sorry.” Sam reached for my arm and nearly missed. I put

  my hand in his and led him over to the couch.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m so done!” he yelled.

  Just then Holly ran up to him with Aaron by her side. “Let’s

  get you home, Sam.”

  He shook his head no and pulled a flask out of his pocket,

  nearly missing his own mouth as he took a sip. Soon I felt

  Demetri’s hand on my back.

  “Dude, no alcohol.”

  Sam just laughed.

  Soon Alec had him in the air and pressed against the wall.

  Holy muscles. My eyes widened as Alec slammed him against the

  wall. “Leave before I call the police.”

  “She doesn’t deserve your shit.” Sam spat. “You should

  know that right now, Alyssa. He’s going to mess up one of these

  days. Just like Brady.”

  Alec dropped him, he fell to his knees. Everything happened

  in slow motion as I saw murderous rage cloud Demetri’s features.

  He lunged for Sam, but Aaron held him back.

  “Son of a bitch!” Demetri jerked against Aaron’s arms. “Get

  the hell out of my house right now!”

  “He’s mad because he knows.” Sam pushed himself off the

  floor. “Isn’t that right, Holly? Everyone knows what a bastard my

  brother was.”

  “Stop it!” I yelled. “Stop!” No one was expecting me to

  launch myself on a guy, but I couldn’t help myself. I began beating

  his chest with my fists. “Take it back! Take it back!”

  Soon I felt Demetri’s arms around me, lifting me off of Sam.

  I’d gotten a few good hits in, but I may as well have just gotten into

  a fight with a wall. My knuckles were bloody.

  “Shh.” Demetri tried to calm me down.

  “He was perfect!” I shouted, directing my anger toward

  Sam. “He was a star quarterback! He was good son! A wonderful

  person!”

  Demetri tightened his hold on me.

  “He cheated!” Sam screamed causing the entire room to fall

  silent. “You’re perfect boyfriend cheated on you while you were

  dating. He got Holly pregnant! So next time get your facts right.

  I’m out.” Sam stumbled to his feet.

  Connor followed him out, his eyes wide with surprise.

  Holly slumped against Aaron, tiny sobs escaped her mouth.

  “I should have told you. Demetri said I needed to tell you but —”

  “Shit.” I heard Demetri behind me. He released his hold on

  my arms.

  Tears threatened to pour down my face. “W-what? What do

  you mean Demetri told you?”

  Holly wiped her eyes and choked on her words. “He found

  out the night we wrote our regrets because this was mine, Alyssa.

  My regret was never telling Brady and never telling you. I didn’t

  want to ruin what you guys had and —”

  “When?” I interrupted her, my body slowly started to go

  numb as I tried to focus on my breathing. “When did it happen?”

  “The end of summer after football camp. It was a Friday

  night…”

  I didn’t need to hear any more. I knew what night it was

  because it was the same night I picked him up from the party. The

  same night I saw him drunk, and it was the same night he told me

  he loved me for the first time.

  I started seeing spots and then total blackness consumed me.

  This time I didn’t care if I ever woke up.

  Chapter Thirty

  Demetri

  My heart dropped to the ground. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t

  think as Alyssa slumped to the ground. I caught her before she hit

  her head, and then I looked to Alec for help.

  He began clearing people out. Nat asked if I wanted her to

  stay, but that was the last thing I needed. I swear, drama followed

  me just like the Biebs and boy bands.

  Holly apologized about ten times then left with Aaron.

  Best birthday ever.

  At least I didn’t get drunk and gain myself a DUI and a cell

  mate named Bertha.

  “Alyssa? Sweetheart, can you hear me?” I took her to the

  nearest couch and cupped her face.

  The moan that came from her was nearly my undoing as her

  eyelids fluttered open.

  I didn’t see her hand until it was too late. She slapped me so

  hard across the cheek I was afraid I lost a tooth.

  “Guess I deserved that,” I muttered holding my face.

  “You bastard!” She tried to get up but I gently held her back.

  “Shh, you need to rest. You just fainted.”

  “What I need is to stop surrounding myself with assholes!

  Now get off of me!”

  “No.” Panic was overwhelming my common sense. “If I let

  yo
u go, you won’t come back. And I need you. I love you, Alyssa. I

  love you so damn much it hurts, and it kills me that you’re

  hurting.”

  “I’m hurting because you betrayed me, Demetri.” She

  shoved hard against him. “You did this.”

  “Me? You’re going to pin this on me?” I jerked away from

  her. “I tried to protect you and protect Brady’s memory and it’s my

  fault? That’s bullshit and you know it, Lyss! He’s the cheater! He’s

  the guy who betrayed you, that abandoned you, and now you’re

  going to make me the bad guy?”

  “You should have told me.” Her lower lip trembled. “I knew

  this would happen.”

  “What? What do you mean?” I fought to keep the tears in.

  “Us. I knew we wouldn’t last.” She smiled sadly as tears

  streamed down her face. “We’re too different. I mean, you’re like

  an accident waiting to happen. You’ve even said so yourself. Two

  broken pieces don’t always fit.”

  “What are you saying?” I reached for her but she walked

  around me toward the door.

  “I’m saying goodbye.”

  “Just like that?” I chased after her. She ran down the stairs

  and out the door.

  “Yes.” She turned around, hands on her hips. “Just like that,

  Demetri. You got once chance. You blew it. You blew my heart into

  a million pieces. You don’t get do-overs. Sorry if it’s hard for you to

  understand. I mean, don’t all rich rock stars get do-overs?” She

  laughed bitterly. “But you can’t rebuild someone’s heart once it’s

  been broken.”

  She pulled off her shoes and began walking in the direction

  of her house. Not bothering to turn around when I yelled after her.

  “I know.”

  “Shit!” I ran back upstairs to the rec room and sat on the

  couch. My hand touched something smooth and wet. I froze.

  The flask.

  Sam must have thrown it.

  With trembling fingers I touched the cool steel. My brain

  was screaming at me to make the pain go away. I wanted to be

  numb so damn bad. I hated feeling weak. I hated tears.

  I cursed and grabbed the flask and walked out to the

  balcony.

  Shaking, I dumped the entire contents over the edge and

  then threw the flask as far as I could.

  “Nice arm.”

  “Go away.”

  Alec cursed and leaned against the railing. “I don’t even

 

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