“No!” My voice shook. “I need… I need…” I began
hyperventilating. The officer helped me to the ground and
instructed me to calm down.
Right. Because telling someone who can’t breathe to calm
down is actually helpful. If he wasn’t a cop and if I wasn’t dying of
heartbreak I would have flipped him off.
All the air felt like it had been sucked out of the universe. All
that was left was pain. I was so damn tired of feeling pain.
“I’ll take care of her,” a familiar voice said through the haze
of my choking. I gasped for more air as soon as I recognized the
voice. Demetri? He didn’t say another word. He sat down on the
cold wet ground and pulled me into his body, placing his hands on
my chest, he whispered in my ear, “Breathe. Just follow me, okay?”
Too panicked to do anything, I nodded as he breathed in my
ear, pressing down on my chest when it was time to exhale and
letting up when it was time to inhale.
I closed my eyes against the flow of warm tears streaming
down my face.
“I love you.” I gasped, shaking violently in his arms. Done. I
was so incredibly done with being sad, with being traumatized. “I
thought… I thought something happened to you! Promise me,
Demetri. Promise me nothing will ever happen to you.”
He sighed heavily in my ear. “I can’t. But if I died tomorrow,
know that I loved you with my entire being today.”
Chapter Thirty-four
Demetri
I wasn’t sure she could drive herself home, so I made her
ride with me and told Nat and Alec to come get her car for her.
I’d been driving back into Seaside when I saw her fight off
the cop on the side of the road. My first instinct was to pull over
and wait in the car. I mean, clearly she was getting a ticket, right?
And then I noticed her shaking body. She was convulsing.
What the hell had the cop done to her? I quickly jumped out of my
car and ran over to her. The minute I touched her, my eyes fell on
the accident. I hadn’t really paid much attention. I figured I needed
to keep my eyes on the road, considering most accidents get made
worse by other drivers gawking.
But I saw it.
The black Mercedes, which of course a chick wouldn’t know,
but I knew, was way cheaper than mine.
And it was outside Seaside, almost to Canon Beach, which
meant only one thing. Alyssa had somehow gone after me and
thought I died. Shit. And then when she asked me to promise her
never to leave or die? Yeah, kind of impossible. If it was possible to
live forever just so she would never experience heartache again, I’d
do it in a heartbeat. I’d do anything for her.
We held hands over the console in complete silence. Alyssa
was still shaking, but at least she was breathing like a normal
human being now. I probably should have told her where I was
going or asked if she wanted to come with me, but I thought she’d
still be too pissed at me to even want to see my face.
I’d been so lost in thought that I’d gone all the way into
Canon Beach and then realized I forgot my wallet. So not only was
I without any sort of ID or cash, but I was driving illegally.
Good times.
“Did you get the taffy?” she finally asked, breaking the tense
silence.
“No.” I laughed at her weird way of breaking the silence. “I
forgot my wallet, so know that I’m totally illegal right now.”
“Want me to drive?” How cute was she?
“And suffer a panic attack? No, I’ll take my chances. Also,
you’ve just suffered a crazy trauma. I mean, I’m alive, but ten
minutes ago you thought I was dead, so yeah, let’s not tempt fate. I
imagine you’re going to be needing Xanax any minute now.”
Alyssa laughed lightly and squeezed my hand. “Um, do you
think we can stop somewhere first?”
“Sure.” I exhaled slowly allowing my heart to go back to its
natural rhythm. “Where do you want to go?”
“Drive past town, then when we get to Astoria, take a left on
the first street before we hit the stoplight.”
“Okay…” And the silence was again deafening as I drove for
the next twenty minutes. It took forever to get on the other side of
Seaside, considering the speed limit was twenty.
Finally, we reached Astoria, and it began to rain. Of course.
Panic set in when I realized where she was taking me. The
cemetery. I pulled into the parking lot and ran around to the other
side of the car to open her door.
Alyssa gave me a sad smile and grabbed my hand. We
walked for a few minutes and then she stopped.
I didn’t want to look at the grave. I already knew who it
was. Instead, I watched her, gauged her reaction. Rain fell across
her cheekbones and ran down to her lips. Some caught in her
mouth, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss the water away.
Soon salty tears mixed with the rain, and I couldn’t tell which was
which, all I knew is I wanted it to be gone. I would bleed myself till
I was dry if she would just have peace.
“Brady.” She choked a sob. “This is Demetri Daniels. He’s
kind of famous.”
“Kind of?” I joked.
Alyssa rolled her eyes and wiped some of the tears and rain
away from her face. “Sorry, my mistake. Brady, this is Demetri
Daniels. He’s a rock god.” She lifted an eyebrow in my direction. I
nodded my head.
“Better.”
“He’s a mess,” she continued. Ouch. “I mean, a huge mess.
As in, he is all kinds of screwed up. He’s a recovering alcoholic and
drug addict. He hates the color purple, he hates birds, and he
refuses to go to zoos.”
I cleared my throat.
“He’s also the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. He’s
kind, generous, funny, and he’s like the sun, always shining, which
I think I kind of need, considering I live in Seaside and all. He
makes the clouds go away, and sometimes when I think of his
smile, I close my eyes and find peace.”
“I’m telling you all of this so you know… my heart… it
didn’t die with you in the accident. I thought it did, but I was
wrong. I thought the pieces were scattered and impossible for me
to put back together again. With Demetri I discovered that my
heart still beat, and the pieces weren’t broken like I thought. They
just needed someone who knew what they were doing.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“I love him, Brady. It isn’t the same love that I had with
you…”
My stomach dropped.
“It’s better. Because I finally understand what love is. It isn’t
rainbows and butterflies. It isn’t always pretty. Sometimes it’s
jagged like broken glass, and sometimes it hurts. But love, the type
of love that’s real — the love Demetri has shown me — it’s selfless,
it’s persistent. Real love pushes your boundaries, it pulls until you
snap, and then when you think you can’t take anymore, it’s
relentless in i
ts pursuit of your body, soul, and heart.”
I was immobile as I closed my eyes and listened to the
poetry of her words. Everything was in slow motion, the way the
rain felt against my face as her words echoed in my heart like a
lullaby. Fire ignited my soul at her truth, at the truth of existence,
the truth of what love was.
“I didn’t choose to love Demetri, Brady. It just happened.
But the minute my heart made that decision, it was impossible to
go back. It was like trying to breathe without air. I’m finally okay
with letting you go. I’m finally okay with forgiving you, because I
know whose arms I belong in. I know that the minute I turn away
from your grave, I make the conscious choice to open my heart to
real love. The love every person deserves. Goodbye, Brady.”
I opened my eyes to see Alyssa right in front of me. Makeup
ran down her face, her teeth were chattering, and her clothes were
plastered to her body. I’d never seen anything more beautiful than
her in that moment. Her eyes were shining. Her smile was wide
and bright. I reached out, needing to touch her, needing to know
that this moment between us was real.
“I love you, Alyssa.”
“I love you, Demetri.” She exhaled against my neck. Her
breath was warm, sending chills all the way down my back. “Let’s
get out of here.”
“Wait…” I released her and walked over to the grave. I’d
spent and awful lot of time cursing the guy that I should thank for
saving Alyssa’s life. Granted, he screwed up big time, and I’d be
lying if I said I wouldn’t punch him in the face if he was standing in
front of me. But still, his body shielded her from the accident.
I licked my lips. “Thank you. For protecting her, for saving
her, but most of all, for not being selfish enough to keep her for
yourself when you knew you couldn’t be faithful. I still want to hit
you for all those times you kissed her when I couldn’t. I still cringe
when I think of places your hands were that mine have yet to
explore, but in the end, she’s mine. She’ll always be mine, so thank
you. For finally allowing her to let go.”
Alyssa walked up behind me and looped her arms around
my chest. Her head bent to my back. I closed my eyes and
memorized the moment. Just me and the love of my life, her dead
ex-boyfriend, and the rain. Hell, I couldn’t have written a story this
screwed up. But I’m glad that sometimes even bad things can be
turned to good. I’m glad that the Creator of this messed up
universe saw something redeemable in me and gifted me with an
angel, when I deserved much less.
Chapter Thirty-five
Demetri
“I could seriously sleep for five years,” I grumbled once we
made it back to my beach house. I refused to let Alyssa out of my
sight. I may have lured her to my place under false pretenses. I told
her we had hot chocolate. I lied.
“Where’s this famous hot chocolate?” she asked. Damn
mind-reading women.
“Uh… Up there.” Shameless, I know. I pointed to the top
shelf. She walked over and stretched up against the counter. My
mouth went completely dry as my eyes burned wild shameless
circles around her body.
“Hmm.” She put her hands on her hips. “I didn’t see it.”
“Try again.” I was going to burn some place very hot for all
this taunting.
She stretched again, this time her shirt came up, revealing
her flat stomach and a cute belly button. I must have made some
sort of embarrassing moan or something because she froze and
then turned to give me an icy glare.
“There is not hot chocolate, is there?”
I smirked and then shrugged. “Um, I don’t know. Care to
look again?”
“You ass!” She charged towards me. I didn’t even put up a
fight as she pushed me against the counter. I just grabbed her and
lifted her into the air. She wrapped her legs around my waist and
kissed me across the mouth.
“I’m sorry…” I said between kisses. “To be fair… I just
wanted you alone… in my house… without any interruptions.”
“What about Nat and Alec?” she asked tugging my lower
lip.
“Damn, woman… I… um…” I tasted her tongue and
groaned. “They’re out.”
“Where?”
“What?” I nibbled her neck and moved lower pulling her
soaking wet shirt away from her shoulder.
“Where are they?”
“Who?” What the hell was she talking about? Her skin was
perfect. I wanted to both touch and then memorize every single
touch and how it affected her.
“Your brother. Demetri, are you even listening?”
“No,” I answered honestly. “I stopped listening the minute
you wrapped your legs around my waist, and if you don’t say stop,
I’m going to be laying you across the kitchen counter in five
seconds.”
“Five seconds, huh? That’s pretty fast. You improve your
time, bro?” My brother’s idiot voice echoed through the kitchen.
Slowly, I pulled away from Alyssa and set her on the floor.
Both Alec and Nat were standing in the kitchen, ridiculous
grins on their faces as they watched me struggle with my
embarrassment at nearly laying claim to my girlfriend near last
night’s ranch dip.
“Uhh….” I scratched my head. “Damn it! Just go away.
We’re busy.”
“We can tell,” Nat said triumphantly.
“And we can’t go,” Alec said, smug grin in place. Was it
illegal to strangle him in our house? I wondered if that was
assault…
“Our publicist and agent are taking a flight out to Portland
tonight,” he said, looking between me and Alyssa. “I take it she’s
in?”
“In what?” Alyssa asked, wrapping her arms around my
side.
“The show. It’s a go. We have to do it, and anyone who
hangs out with us has to sign a contract and stuff.”
Alyssa nodded. “I think I can do it. I mean, if it means being
with Demetri I have no choice.”
I exhaled in relief while giving Alec the glare he deserved.
Must we talk about this right now?
“There’s some other stuff…”Alec gave me the look that said
there was way more than some other stuff going on. Was he even
keeping Nat out of the loop? “Nat, why don’t you show Alyssa the
bathroom so she can change out of her wet clothes and take a
shower.” His eyes never left mine the whole time. Shit. This was
bad.
“Sure.” Nat looped her arm with Alyssa’s and they
disappeared up the stairs.
“What are you keeping from her?” I asked once they were
out of earshot.
“Everything.” Alec sighed. “They want another famous
couple for the show.”
“Don’t they have enough? I mean they’re going to be
stealing our privacy already. It’s you, me, Nat, and Alyssa.”
“And Jaymeson.”
“Pardon?” I had just taken a hug sw
ig of water and began
coughing wildly. Alec thumped me on the back.
“Oh, that’s not the worst part.” Alec smirked.
“Great.”
“He’s bringing a girl. You know, to even the odds.”
“Who’s the lucky lady?”
Alec looked down and mumbled an answer.
“Care to repeat that?”
He mumbled again.
“What the hell! Just spit it out!”
“Angelica Greene.”
“Hell no!” I yelled and threw my hands in the air. “I’m
calling our manager right now. Hell will have to seriously freeze
the shit over before I allow that woman back in my life!”
“She’s just… Hollywood,” Alec said, defending her.
“She’s bat shit crazy. As in, the bat that feeds on the other
crazy bats and then smiles while she’s consuming their hearts!”
“Whoa, dramatic much?” Alec laughed. “What’s the deal?
So you hung out with her a bit when you were back in L.A. last
year. It’s not as if you guys hooked up.”
The room began to spin as I tried to calm my breathing. Not
her. Anyone but her. I couldn’t have her back in my life. She was a
manipulative bitch. She was poison, and the sick part was… she
was the one I had… Yeah, I couldn’t even say it or acknowledge it
in my head.
“No.” I repeated again. “And I’m sorry, but why aren’t you
freaking out? Jaymeson has a huge thing for both Nat and Alyssa.”
Alec shrugged. “He’s British.”
“Point taken.” Crap. “Has she been finalized for the show?”
Alec nodded.
“And the show’s been picked up already?”
“Without a pilot.”
“Impossible.”
Alec shrugged. “Apparently, thanks to your great summer
here at Seaside, they have all the pictures they need. People love
you, Demetri. You know that. There’s nothing the press likes more
than the bad boy turning good and then falling for a local girl. And
lucky us, it happened twice.”
“Yeah, lucky,” I said dryly. “When does the show start?”
“Filming starts in August. They’re going to do a few
webisodes for the first two filmings, and then it’s going to air on
cable.”
“Cable’s better than a huge network.”
“Dude, have you been living under a rock?” Alec laughed.
“Cable shows are huge right now. Mad Men? True Blood? White
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