I jumped to my feet and hurried over to the wardrobe. I threw it open. Inside were half a dozen gowns. I touched the silk and velvet and chiffon. They were in an array of colors from gray to a deep violet that echoed the color of my eyes. She has not forgotten me. Why has she not sent me word?
“I want to go and see her,” I told Elenna.
“You cannot.”
I spun around from Sabine’s gift to face Elenna. “What do you mean? The king has given me permission to go anywhere within the palace walls.”
Elenna shook her head. “Not to the queen. She has gone to her lie-in. The magiker thinks the child will come soon. She has gone into isolation to prepare for the birth. Only her lady’s maids and the magiker may see her.”
I was her lady’s maid once. But that meant nothing now. I had been gone too long. She would not have held my place forever. The child of two crowns will soon enter the world. The prophecy is coming nearer every day. I had a want for fresh air suddenly. The room seemed to be suffocating me. The chamber led out into an inner courtyard shared by the royal family. Sabine’s chambers were across the courtyard from me, I knew. As were Adair’s.
I went and opened the double doors that looked out onto the garden. A breeze blew through. The fresh air felt cooling on my skin. I smelled the salt in the air and wet earth. It had been raining off and on for days. The sky overhead was purple and gray. The winter is coming to an end; spring will be here soon. Everything is coming to a head. In the center of the garden was a fountain. The statue in the center depicted the Goddess with a pitcher of water, pouring the oceans across the world. I went to sit down beside it. I ran my fingers through the chilled water and listened to the plink of water falling in the fountain.
“The water calls to you, daughter of the sea.”
I startled and looked up. A woman with dark tangled hair stood over me. Her eyes were a pale blue, the pupils wide and crazed. Her clothes were a size too big, and she clutched a shawl about her to keep it from falling from her fragile shoulders. For a moment I did not recognize her; then I remembered her.
“Princess Florian?”
“No. No. No! She is dead.” She shook her head, and her tangled hair flew around as she did so. Her shawl slipped and revealed long scratches on her shoulders. Her skin was pink and raw in places. Princess Florian, Adair’s mother, had once been a beautiful woman I was told, but the rape which impregnated her with her daughter, Princess Edalene, had addled her wits. She never did recover.
“I’m sorry. I did not mean to upset you.” I stood up and tried to reach a hand out to her. She struck at me, and I took a step back away from her.
“It is your mother. She wants you to come home. To join them,” Princess Florian said. She pointed to the fountain.
How did she escape? The princess had a walled garden of her own and a caretaker that was meant to keep her from wandering off and getting hurt. Should I call for help? I don’t want to leave her alone like this.
“Let me take you back to your chamber,” I said in a soothing tone.
“You are the key. The key that opens up the door,” she said in a singsong voice as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet.
That gave me pause. My mother had told me I was the key long ago. Was it mere coincidence, or did this madwoman know something of the prophecy?
“What do you mean I am the key?” I asked.
“You are the key that unlocks the door. The child of two crowns walks and destruction follows in his footsteps. The day is coming. Coming. Coming.” She clutched her arms tight to her chest as she rocked back and forth, holding her shawl close.
How could she know anything? She’s just a madwoman babbling nonsense. It’s a coincidence. I looked about for her caretaker, but we were alone. Even Elenna had stayed behind in our chambers.
“I am broken,” Princess Florian muttered. “I birthed the destruction of man.” Her eyes brimmed with tears, which spilled down her cheeks.
She started to wail, a high keening sound. I wasn’t sure what to do. I could not leave her here lest she wander off and get hurt, but I feared to touch her in case she lashed out again. She slumped to the ground and continued to chatter.
“They forced me and broke me. Now I only see shatters and shadows.”
I kneeled beside her. I reached out a hand to comfort her, but she hissed and pulled away from me. I put my hands back to my sides.
“Shatters and shadows,” she repeated over and over.
I sat down beside her and let her nonsense words wash over me. I felt a tingle at the base of my neck. I twisted around. A man with white hair and shifting eyes was standing over me.
“You return home upon the eve of battle,” the priest of Mrawa said.
I jumped to my feet. I had almost forgotten about him in my quest to save Johai. The priest had first made allusions about the war and the power that lay dormant inside Johai. He is also possessed by a specter. Does he feel the coming prophecy as I do? The priest seemed to know things that he shouldn’t, and it could be no mere coincidence that he approached me now. “I am glad to see you remain in Keisan. I have need of your council,” I said by way of greeting.
“The prophecy is in motion, and you have found the Sea Chamber. I thought you would be seeking guidance.” He smiled. His eyes crinkled. The ever-changing color had settled on a stormy gray, like the clouds overhead.
His uncanny ability to know without being told sent a shiver down my spine. “I have, and there is a complication.” I rested my hand upon my flat stomach.
His ever-changing eyes glanced at my hand and then back at my face. “You carry the specter’s get?”
“No!” I was surprised by my own vehemence. “This is the child of mine and Johai’s.”
“Conceived while Johai was possessed, she will be powerful in her own right when the time comes.”
The thought both delighted and terrified me. What burden lay before my unborn child? I could only guess. For now I had to focus on the present and the challenge that lay before me.
The priest noticed the princess rocking back and forth on the ground. He held a hand out to her. “Rise, Florian.” Surprisingly, she took his hand and stood.
“What guidance can you give me?” I asked him. The priest knew more than he let on, but I was not the impatient child to demand answers as I had once been.
He gave me another enigmatic smile. “I am only a spectator. I can interfere no more than I already have.”
I frowned. I had hoped for more, but I had come to accept that I must complete this task alone. I was going to ask him another question when a fourth joined our group. Elenna came from the chamber.
“It seems we have all come together at last,” Elenna said as she joined us.
I looked puzzled between Elenna and the priest to Princess Florian, who was muttering under her breath but no longer shouted or rocked. She held onto the priest’s hand, watching us with her wide pale blue eyes.
“You know one another?” I asked Elenna.
Elenna shook her head. Her curtain of dark hair swished back and forth. “We have only just met, but when the Goddess calls, you answer.” She smiled.
We stood facing one another, in a circle beside the fountain. The only sound for a moment was the gurgling of the water and the howl of the wind. The air smelt of rain, and I feared we would be caught in another downpour.
“The time has come,” the priest said at last. “The specter walks, and those who are avatars of the gods have been brought here to stop him.” The priest had his eyes intent on me. “Maea, it is your task to bring the specter to the Sea Chamber. We had thought you were the one meant to bring him beyond the veil, but it seems that your task has changed. You will open the gate as before, but another must lead him through.”
Adair will lead him through, though he does not know it yet. I dared not speak the words aloud, not here; so close to the royal chambers anyone could hear us.
“What roles do you play?” I looked at t
he three watching me. Elenna smiled without answer. Florian shook her head and muttered under her breath.
It was the priest who spoke. “We are watchers and anchors. We all have roles to play on the final day, which you will learn when the time comes, but not before. The very walls have ears and eyes, and the specter’s touch is everywhere.”
“We will be here to guide you as best we can,” Elenna said, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. “But when the final task comes, you must do it alone.”
“I understand,” I said. I closed my hands into fists. I must do this to save Johai and my child.
We stood there in a circle for a few more moments, the sound of the wind rushing over us and the hint of salt water tangling in our hair. Princess Florian was still muttering to herself and rocking back and forth again.
“We shall depart for now.” He touched Florian on the elbow.
She looked up at him with her wide panicked eyes. I was surprised she allowed his touch; it seemed she feared everyone but not the priest. This must have something to do with his power.
“Come, you should be back before you are missed.” The priest pushed Florian lightly in the small of her back before turning back to me. “Look for the truth in the lies and the friends within your enemies,” he said as he departed.
He and the princess exited the garden through a hidden doorway in the shrubbery, which I knew led back to Florian’s chamber. The threads of the prophecy seemed to only tangle further. How can I untangle these knots in time?
Chapter Seventeen
HE WAITED FIVE DAYS before coming to me. I had been expecting this visit from the moment Adair had set me free. When we passed each other in the palace halls, when I left my chamber, I felt his eyes watching me, hungry and wanting. The thought of his kiss made my skin crawl, but I would force a smile for his benefit. He sent a messenger early in the day, advising me that he wanted to dine with me. I read the missive over a few times before accepting the truth of it. I knew I would have to face him at some point. I labored over my dress, something too chaste and he would take insult, thinking that I was trying to deter him—because I was—but if I wore something wanton, he would be given the impression that I was willing to take him to my bed. In the end, I decided on the lilac gown Sabine had sent me. My father had gifted me a caul of silver with amethysts tangled up in the wires. Elenna helped me to dress and coiled my hair up into the caul. I stared at the shadow of myself. How much longer can I wear this mask before it devours me whole, I wondered.
When Adair arrived, I was relaxing on the couch in my salon. Elenna led him in. She had deigned to wear a Danhadine gown for the occasion. The dress she wore was cream colored with a simple square neck and full sleeves. It was a wonder they had found something that fit her height. She was much taller than most other Danhadine women.
Adair swept into my salon with a smile. “Lady Diranel.” He bowed to me and came up grinning.
I remember that smile too well. He thinks I will continue to play the canary to his cat. He does not know our roles have reversed. “Your Majesty, I am honored by your visit.” I bowed in return, much lower. I rose up and showed him to a seat near my own.
He leaned back in the chair and accepted a glass of wine from Elenna. She filled the role of servant easily enough. I dared not keep any other staff. They would betray me, I knew. The walls have ears, if what the priest said is true. Adair sipped his wine and looked about the room. He appeared at ease with his surroundings; that much had not changed about him. Yet every gesture and every smile seemed to irritate me as it never had before. I used to adore him. I thought I loved him once. He has not changed at all, but it is me who has changed. I am not the girl who fawned over him.
He smiled, and the corner of his mouth quirked upwards. “I asked you to call me Adair, long ago, in private; you can once more.”
He did not motion to touch me, but I felt his words caress me, trying to lull me back into the place I had been before: devoted to him, willing to give anything to be at his side. You killed that girl when you charged me with the murder you committed. I laughed and took a sip of my wine to hide my disgust.
He was watching me, and I was forced to speak. I set aside my cup. “I was not sure I could, after everything that happened.”
He set down his own goblet. It clinked against the wood of the side table. He stood up and came to join me on my couch. He took my hand in his. I looked up at him through my lashes as he brought my hand to his mouth. His breath was warm against my skin, but it brought to mind hot blood and bodies baking in the sun. I suppressed a shudder of revulsion but only just. I kept my eyes trained on his; they were the same color that Johai’s had been. They were similar but not the same. Adair’s eyes were full of cunning, where Johai’s were full of wisdom.
“Ah, Maea, if I could undo the past, I would. Can you forgive me?”
No. Never. “I know you were left with a difficult decision, and I was so stubborn.” I looked away lest I gag upon my own lies. He traced his thumb across my knuckles. My heart was racing.
“You did not know the true face of Johai then. You were blinded by love for him. I know.”
I turned to face him; my shock was not feigned. When Adair had imprisoned me, I had only just regained my memories of Johai and what had happened before I came to Keisan. At the time I had rejected Adair because he had deceived me not because I had loved Johai more.
“How did you know?” I asked, deciding to play along with his lies.
He chuckled and dropped my hand. “You were not as obvious as him, but I saw the way he watched your every move. He desired you. He would control you if he could. I knew I had to save you from him.”
You picked me because of some quarrel between Johai and yourself. I was right; Adair was a spoiled child. He had never loved me. He only wanted what he could not have. “I should have seen the truth sooner,” I said and buried my face in my hands. Adair wrapped his arm around my shoulder and brought me close. He held me for a few moments as I pretended to collect my thoughts. “Excuse me. That was unseemly. I should have more control of my emotions.” I dabbed at my imaginary tears.
He grabbed me by the chin and forced me to look him in the eye. I feared my tearless face would give me away, but Adair did not notice or did not care. “I would rather you felt safe enough around me to cry.” He rubbed my chin with his thumb. “I thought I had lost you. When Johai came to make the pact, he said you had perished in the rebellion. I—”
Adair was not able to finish his thought because Elenna had come in to announce dinner was prepared. I silently thanked her good timing. Adair offered me his arm and escorted me into the dining room of my chambers. The table was set for two. The chairs were set at opposite ends. I gave Elenna a grateful smile. She inclined her head, knowing my thoughts. We dined on three courses, starting with a cream soup with scallops and green onions. The second course was a roast duck with oranges and cloves. The final dish was ice with sweet fruit syrup and berries. I found I had little appetite. The nausea was beginning to fade, but my nerves made it hard for me to stomach more than a few bites of each course.
Adair, on the other hand, ate with gusto, complimenting each dish and watching me over his wineglass with the same hungry eyes. When dinner was at an end, we retired once more to the salon. I sat in a single wingback chair by the fire. The fatigue of the day was wearing upon me, and I found my eyes were heavy. Adair sat across from me in the opposite chair. He sat at the edge of his seat. He was close enough to touch, but he still did not try to. Adair did not seem likely to leave any time soon, so I decided to broach a more delicate subject.
“I have heard no new news of Beau’s trial,” I said conversationally.
Adair sat up a bit straighter. “Do not worry. He shall be dealt with soon enough. The council has been focusing on the war.” He balled his hand into a fist on the arm of the chair. I reached over to rest my hand on top of his. He looked up at me.
“Why not show him compassion? He
came here to serve you,” I lied. “He is the only reason I was able to escape Johai and come to you.” The lies fell easily from my lips, but unlike my lies of devotion, Adair did not swallow these as readily.
“Compassion can be easily mistaken for weakness as well,” he replied. He took his free hand and sandwiched mine between his. “Let us speak of other things. I do not want to talk of treason and trials.”
He came and kneeled down in front of my chair. He held my hands in his. I looked down upon him. The King of Danhad looked up at me, imploring. I tilted my head to feign ignorance, but I knew what he was preparing to ask me.
“Maea, I want you to be mine, both in spirit and in body. Swear yourself to me and become my mistress. Agree, and I will raise you up to my right hand, and we shall rule Danhad side by side. You will be the wife of my heart.”
I was not surprised by his proposition, but I was surprised by his choice of words, wife of his heart? Was this some line he fed all the empty-headed courtiers who he had warm his bed? What about Sabine, his true wife, who even now prepared to bring their son into the world? What of the son they had made together. Did he care nothing for them?
“It is a generous offer.” I demurred as I looked away from him and into the fire. “I do not know if I am worthy of it.”
He grabbed my chin once more and tilted my head back to face him. “You are all I have ever desired, Maea. When I told you long ago you would have been my chosen bride, I did not lie. I want you like a man dying of thirst craves water, or as a starving man longs for food. When you betrayed me, I thought my heart had been taken from me. I thought I could learn to hate you, to put you aside, but you were never far from my thoughts. You are all I have ever wanted, smart, beautiful, and cunning. We are two of a kind. You and I were meant to be together.”
I wanted to look away, but he had captured me with his intense blue eyes. His words remind me of the specter. The question is, is this the truth? Does he love me? It seemed too preposterous to even consider. I could not speak the words to agree. I need his cooperation. I kissed him. He tensed at first and then opened his mouth to let my tongue explore his. His hands grabbed my shoulders, and I felt as if I might suffocate from want of air. His fingers teased at the buttons of my bodice. I must pull away, stop this now before my body betrayed me. When I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend it was Johai. Then his hand glided over the plane of my stomach and felt the bulge there. It was enough that he paused. He pulled back and looked at me with a puzzled and pained expression.
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