“Yes, Sir.” My voice is low. I’m shocked and intrigued and aroused and unnerved. So many emotions.
“Are we in agreement then?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Repeat what we’ve agreed to, Eve.”
I lick my lips. “I’m going to submit to you starting now. I won’t question your decisions.”
He finally reaches across the void and takes my hand, giving it a squeeze before brushing my knuckles over his cheek. “Good girl. Shall we go home?”
“Yes, Sir.”
I can’t believe this is happening. I knew from the moment he took control this morning that the tide had changed between us. I knew from his texts that I was no longer in charge. It was only a matter of spelling it out, and he has done so.
When we get to my apartment building, he circles it twice, his gaze darting all around. Finally, he pulls into the garage and drives to the third-floor level before parking.
I wait for him to come to my side of the car and let me out because I know it’s what he prefers. He holds my hand as we enter the building and head for my unit. Damn the consequences. If my neighbors see me, they do.
I hand him my keys and wait while he lets me inside. My heart is racing. There’s going to be a permanent shift in our reality the moment the door is closed.
Sure enough, Colt locks us inside and then turns to me. He helps me take my coat off, then points toward the hallway. “You have fifteen minutes to change and meet me in the kitchen.”
“Yes, Sir.” I turn and rush from the room. For the first time in my life, I’m excited. I’m not going to be little alone tonight. Colt is going to be my Daddy. It’s weird and scary, but I can’t wait. Sure, we sort of did this last night, but it wasn’t negotiated or planned. We were testing the waters.
After shutting my bedroom door, I hurry into my closet, already kicking off my heels. I quickly remove everything and put on lavender panties with little red hearts on them. Next, I tug a dress from the hanger. It’s pink with white sheep scattered on it. It’s also cotton with a scoop neck, three-quarter length sleeves, and a full skirt that reaches a few inches below my panties.
I skip to the bathroom and take off my makeup before unpinning my bun and putting my hair up in pigtails high on my head. I even add pink bows. Deciding to go barefoot, I head to the kitchen.
I hesitate at the entrance to the kitchen. Colt has his back to me. He has never once judged me, so I don’t expect him to now, but I’m nervous anyway. This is new. The look on his face when he sees me could destroy me.
He finally turns around, and my heart leaps when he grins. “You look adorable.”
I breathe again and smooth my hands down the front. “Do you like my dress?”
“Love it.”
“I call it a twirl dress,” I inform him.
“What does that mean?”
“It’s the ones that flare out wide when I spin around in circles.”
He chuckles. “Show me.”
I hesitate. He’s going to see my panties if I do so. The blurred line between us has turned into a very wide chasm. The thought of him seeing my panties makes my tummy feel funny. I know he’s seen them at night, but this is daytime. I try to ignore my hesitation as I lift onto one foot and push off, spinning around and around in circles as fast as I can. The skirt flares out wide and my pigtails do too.
When I stop, I’m dizzy and breathing heavily.
Colt reaches out to grab my shoulder and steady me. “I see why you call it a twirl dress. Warn me when you’re going to do that so I can make sure you don’t fall, okay?”
I nod, my chest pounding. Not just from the activity. I’m aroused. My panties are wet. The way he’s looking at me combined with his words is making me feel things I’m not used to. Not in my little. “Yes, Sir,” I mumble inaudibly.
He lifts my chin. That eyebrow rises.
Fuck me. It’s so intense when he does that. My nipples are tingling and stiff. I’m sure he can see them through the thin cotton. “Yes, Sir,” I state louder.
“Good girl.” He pats my bottom. “Go sit at the table. I found your coloring books and crayons. You can color while I make dinner.”
I bite into my lower lip as I shuffle toward the table, shocked. He’s everything I ever dreamed of in a Daddy. And every moment we spend together is going to make it that much harder when it’s over between us.
“I went to the store today while you were at work. I’m going to make myself a pork chop. Would you like one too, or would you rather have Spaghetti-O’s?”
I smile and swing my legs as I glance at him. “Spaghetti-O’s.”
“Coming right up.”
I color him a picture while he cooks, and I’m just finishing it when he sets a plate down in front of me. It’s one of my partitioned plates with princesses on it. He’s put the canned pasta swimming in red sauce in one section, apple sauce in another, and steamed broccoli in the last section.
I jerk my gaze up to him. “I don’t like broccoli.”
He frowns at me, his brows furrowed. “Hmm. I don’t think I believe you, Eve.”
He shouldn’t believe me. After all, he found it in my freezer. Obviously, I do eat broccoli. But my little doesn’t. I look back down at my coloring. “I’m not eating it.”
He sets a hand on the table and lifts my chin with the other. That damn brow is lifted again. “You’ll eat everything on your plate, or no television after dinner.”
I groan. “But…”
“No buts. Every bite. You can’t live off of Spaghetti-O’s. They have no nutritional value.”
I’m testing him. I know it. My blood is pumping. I’ve never once had a Daddy figure in my home like this. I’d give almost anything to get Colt to spank me, but he’s right. It’s too soon. This odd dynamic is new to us, and he has no experience spanking littles. “Yes, Sir.”
“Put the crayons away while you eat. You can finish coloring after dinner.”
I obey him, mostly because I’m hungry, but also because I’ve pushed him far enough for tonight. I don’t want to alienate him with my naughty ways.
He sits at the end of the table with his plate. Pork chop, broccoli, baked potato.
I start eating too quickly, and he stops me with a hand over mine. “Slow down. You’ll choke.”
“Yes, Sir.” I finish my meal and resume coloring while he cleans the kitchen. I feel kind of bad about this arrangement, but it was his idea. I assume if he didn’t want to take care of me, he wouldn’t have suggested it.
When I’m done with my picture, he hangs it on the fridge and leads me to the living room. He sits in the corner of the couch where he sat last night, and I snuggle up next to him as he turns on the television. “You have half an hour, time for one show.”
“This one,” I declare as he surfs slowly through the cartoon channels. I set my cheek on his thigh and let myself get absorbed in the silliness of the cartoon. When it ends, he turns off the tv, and I groan. “Can’t I watch one more?”
“Nope.” He nudges me to sit up and lifts me to my feet. He holds me by my hips and meets my gaze. “Your two hours are up. Go change into whatever you want to sleep in and let your hair down, okay?”
I nod, and then I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him close. “Thank you.”
He returns the hug, his large palms sliding up my back. “My pleasure.”
I skip from the room. Part of me would rather stay in my little space. I often do until I go to bed. But I’ve agreed to two hours in this space, and it would be unfair to renege. It was incredibly generous of Colt to do this for me. He’s gone above and beyond my wildest expectation. I owe him the respect of spending the rest of the evening in my adult persona.
Granted, I don’t really have many bedclothes that would be considered adult, so I can’t help that part, but I can take my hair down and brush it out. I study my sleeping options for a few moments before choosing a white tank top. I leave my panties on and cover
this up with my usual pink robe. It’s not really childish.
When I return to the living room, Colt is staring at his phone. He doesn’t look up, but he reaches for me with one hand, and I sit next to him.
“Everything okay?” I ask in my adult voice. “Anything new?”
He sighs as he drops the phone onto the end table. “No. Nothing. It’s frustrating.” He turns toward me and slowly smiles. “Just out of curiosity, do you eat that shit food every night?”
I chuckle. “Not every night, but often. I eat like a champ at lunch. I promise.”
“I hope so. I’m not sure how you can manage to stay so toned eating Spaghetti-O’s and processed mac and cheese.”
I shrug. “Good genes, I guess.” I glance down at my lap and back at him. “Colt, thank you. I know it’s hard for you to indulge me like that, and I want you to know I appreciate it.”
He slides his hand up to my shoulder. Then he surprises me by twisting my direction and lifting me onto his lap. He cups my face. “You’re kind of irresistible. Both of your personas.”
I flush and bite my bottom lip.
He tugs the lip free with his thumb. “I’d like to kiss you. Did you leave your little in the other room?”
I smile. I get what he’s saying. He’d like to kiss an adult. “Yes. She’s gone for the night.”
He smirks. “Until you fall asleep. She comes back when you climb into bed.”
“Yeah, I guess she does. Does it bother you?”
“Not at all. She’s growing on me. I’m fond of her. But I’d rather kiss the adult inside you right now.”
“I’m right here,” I murmur, anxious to feel his lips on mine again. The only time he’s kissed me so far was our heated exchange against the wall last night. He made me forget the world with that kiss. Was it a coincidence?
His hand comes to my hip, making me wiggle closer. I can feel his erection against my hip and it emboldens me. I want more than the kiss he’s about to give me. I want to have sex with him. Both of me do. I know I told him I’m my adult self right now, mostly because it’s what he needed to hear. Probably what I needed to believe also. But the truth is I’m always straddling the line when I’m with him. I have a foot in both worlds. When I’m fully little, I’m still sexually attracted to him, which isn’t like me and unnerves me.
What about when I’m fully adult? The truth is I haven’t been fully my adult self in his presence since I met him. Not from that exact second I laid eyes on him. He had a power over me even then, and it’s done nothing but grow in its intensity.
He’s Dominant. At least with me. Even though he had no actual experience in the BDSM community, he’s still dominant. Alpha. He brings me to my knees with just a look. My adult persona is automatically submissive when I’m with him.
I managed to stuff my little into the back corner of my mind this morning after he left me at work, but it took me a while. I was completely shaking when I got out of the car, unsteady on my feet as I entered the building. His demand was still ringing in my ear for long moments, over and over again.
From now on, when we get home, I want you to go directly to your room and change into whatever makes you comfortable…
His declaration had shocked me, mostly because he wasn’t asking me; he was telling me. Then there are his texts… When he speaks to me or texts me, I lose my firm grip on my adult self.
One thing is for sure; I’d never be able to take him to a work function. I’d end up spilling something down the front of me. Or inadvertently call him Daddy in front of people. I’d be confused as fuck. He scrambles my brain cells.
This time when he lowers his lips to mine, he’s not in a rush. This time he holds my gaze. He starts out gently and then angles to one side and deepens the kiss.
My toes curl and I can’t help but lean into him.
When he angles his head to one side to deepen the kiss, I squirm against him, my hands flattening on his chest. Would it be too bold to reposition myself so that I’m straddling him? My little would never do something like that. My little would be way too shy. Then again, my little has never kissed a man. Why is she interrupting my thoughts now?
I think it’s because my adult would never take orders from anyone. My adult gives orders. And yet…adult Eve does in fact take orders from Colt.
He flattens a hand on my thighs, both thighs at once encompassed with his large palm. His mouth releases mine. We’re both panting, but his expression is jovial. “Sit still, little imp.”
I pout. It’s instinctive. It’s not like me. It’s confusing.
He lifts that brow. He’s not angry. There’s laughter in the corners of his eyes. “Are you sure I just kissed Eve the adult?” His voice is teasing. Thank God.
I bite my lip. I’m sure of nothing. I’m not even sure the sky is blue anymore. I start to panic. I can’t do this. I don’t know who I am when I’m with him. When he’s touching me.
I scramble off his lap and nearly trip and fall as I take a step away from him.
“Eve?”
I turn and rush from the room. I run down the hallway and into my bedroom. I need to be alone, so I shut the door. Should I lock it?
I don’t. I’m not sure why. I think because no matter how confused I am, I still feel his pull. He’s in charge. I’m not. If I lock this door, he might get mad. Or maybe I want him to come after me.
Nope. I need to think. I spin around and head for the bathroom. That door I can lock. It’s not as defiant as the bedroom door. I shut the door, lock it, and slide down to the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.
What the hell is going on with me? I’m completely unnerved. Not only is my damn little sexually aroused by Colt, but I can’t even get her to go away. Colt doesn’t want to have sex with my little. He wants me to be her for two hours and put her away. I can’t do it. She keeps peeking back through. My little wants to be with Colt.
I groan. I can’t handle this confusion. It’s too much. I can’t get a grip on Eve the adult. She’s there, near the surface, but she isn’t interested. Maybe because I’m not used to maintaining that side of me in my apartment. Maybe it’s because now that I no longer need to worry about Colt judging me, I feel comfortable enough to be myself.
Those might be factors, but they don’t explain why I feel submissive even in the car with him. On my way to and from work. I can’t transition that quickly. I’m going to need to drive myself tomorrow. If I don’t, I’ll end up just as confused as I was today.
If I take my own car to work, I’ll be able to make the switch to my adult self before I get there and decompress on the way home. That’s what I’ll do. Problem solved. One of them anyway.
What about the fact that I desperately would like to have sex with him? I don’t even know what that looks like if I’m little, and it’s not what he wants either.
A knock sounds on the door. “Eve. Will you come out, please?”
I sigh. His voice instantly controls me. Shit.
“Eve, open the door, baby. Talk to me.”
Great. That was even more dominating than the first request.
“Here’s the thing. In twenty-four hours, I’m going to get schooled on every nuance of spanking, then I’m going to pepper your little bottom until it’s so pink you won’t soon forget. I don’t care if you scene with three other Daddies tomorrow at the club. I’m going to be the last one to spank you. The number of swats I intend to use is increasing by the minute, so I suggest you open the door.”
I inhale sharply. A moment later I scramble to my feet, facing the door. My hand is over my chest. My robe has fallen open. I don’t think I’ve ever been this horny in my entire life. I also don’t want to risk him spanking me any more than he already intends. I yank open the door.
“That’s better.” He seems ten times larger filling the doorframe with his hands on both sides. “Eve, I get that you’re confused. Hell, I am too. But don’t shut me out. I want you to talk to me.”
I look at the floor, wrapping my arms around me, but not bothering to close my robe. He can see my panties and my tiny tank top. I don’t care. “You’re incredibly dominant, Colt.”
“Can’t say I was aware of that before this week, but you seem to bring it out in me. Does it scare you?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because when I’m with you, your intensity brings out my submission.” It’s all suddenly much clearer to me, and I lift my gaze. “My adult is never around dominant men. Or she puts them in their place. She’s strong and determined and in charge. You’re topping her. And when you do that, she fades, leaving me mostly little.”
He nods slowly. I can see him processing. “No one else has dominated you outside of the club?”
I shake my head. “I guess not. I don’t let them. If they tried, I’d put a stop to it. I only do vanilla relationships outside of the club.”
“You must be exhausted.”
I nod. He’s right. I am.
He releases the doorframe and steps further into the bathroom, holding out a hand. “Come here, baby.”
I melt when he calls me baby. That’s twice tonight and once last night. I’m keeping track.
He pulls me into his arms and rocks me back and forth, smoothing his hand down my hair. After a few moments, he turns us toward the sink. He finds a washcloth, wets it, and gently wipes my face. It feels cool and soothing after all my stress. I guess there were a few tears too. I hadn’t realized it.
Next, he grabs my toothbrush and puts toothpaste on it. He wets it and hands it to me. “Brush.”
I’m shaking as I take it from him. I brush my teeth while he fills the little cup next to the sink with water. He hands it to me when I’m finished and I rinse.
He points toward the toilet. “Use the bathroom. I’ll tuck you in after that.” He kisses my forehead before he leaves, shutting the door behind him.
Charming Colton (Surrender Book 8) Page 11