“Well, best be getting back. I have a lot of work to do.” She tried to summon a smile but failed, unnerved by Luke’s stare. “Ready?” She turned and walked to the truck not waiting for an answer. The sound of footsteps assured her he was right behind her. It was going to be a long ride back. Damn, why did he have to live at the house? All she wanted to do was race in and confront her father. Surely, he knew all about Luke’s marriage. What else had he been hiding from her?
“Slow down. You’re driving like the devil is behind you.”
She nodded but refused to look at him. “Perhaps he is.”
Luke held on while Meg drove hell bent toward the ranch. Damn it all to hell! He’d hurt her again. She held herself rigid, and her face was full of fury, exactly the way she’d always reacted when she felt hurt.
Sighing, he looked out the passenger window at the rapidly blurring countryside. All he did was pile hurt upon hurt on her, and it wasn’t what he ever intended. It wasn’t time for explanations, and there was no way he would talk about his wife and daughter, not yet.
Closing his eyes, he still heard the sound of the car crash, windows shattering and metal screeching, bending against metal. He would never forget the horror on Mary’s face right before impact and the way she stared lifelessly at him after. Jill’s screams often echoed in his head; there was no hiding from them, but that was his penance for not keeping his family safe.
The authorities had ruled that the accident wasn’t his fault but there must have been something he could have done to prevent it. Meg wouldn’t understand about his marriage and why he stayed, or why he even got married in the first place. Mary was a good person, and she had deserved someone who could give his whole heart to her. Ironic, the whole time he was with Mary, he had thought about Meg, and now he couldn’t get Mary out of his mind.
He was going to lose Meg for sure, the odds had always been stacked against them. He glanced her way again; her face was set in stone, expressionless. Her knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.
His throat felt dry and he coughed. “I wish there was something I could say to you, Meg. I’m sorry—”
“Save it, Luke. You are no longer my concern. I don’t even know you anymore, and I don’t want to know you.”
A slap to the face would have felt better. His chest ached as his heart squeezed. Sorrow washed through him, not for himself but for everyone he’d let down. The burden of his decisions over the years threatened to crush him, but there would be no reprieve, no way out, no one to help him bear it. Meg parked the truck next to the barn and he touched her arm. She turned her head but looked everywhere except at him. “Thank you for saving the herd. I know you didn’t do it for me, but thank you just the same. My father is not an easy man to go against.”
Giving him a curt nod, she turned away and got out of the truck. The fact that she didn’t slam the door surprised him. Owen was sure to get some flack, if the way she stalked into the house was any indication. Owen didn’t know much more than he had a wife and daughter, who were both killed in a car accident. He’d never asked any questions.
Luke eased out of the truck and hesitated. Should he go into the house? He started walking toward it; he couldn’t let Owen take the brunt of her anger. He hoped he could defuse Meg, but he knew it wasn’t going to be easy.
Sure enough, he heard raised voices as soon as he stepped on the front porch. Luke wanted to turn and run, but it was his fault and he had to try to make it right. Straightening his shoulders, he walked into the house and headed right to Owen’s office. How much would he have to reveal in order to soothe Meg? Maybe it was time for a fresh start, but he wasn’t sure his heart could take it.
The look of relief on Owen’s face as he walked in was all Luke needed. It was time to tell the truth as painful as it was. Well, most of the truth. He cleared his throat, and Meg spun on her heel, her mouth agape, her eyes narrowed.
Margaret Mary at her best. It gave him comfort that she hadn’t changed all that much, at least not as much as she thought. Her hard exterior was all show.
“Listen, the reason you two are fighting is my fault. I know I owe you both the truth, but I’d like to talk to Meg about it first if you don’t mind, Owen.”
Owen gave him long stare and finally nodded. “I’ll leave you two alone.”
Meg glowered at them both and then nodded. She watched her father walk away. Folding her arms in front of her, she stared at him, waiting for him to speak.
“First of all, I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you.”
Meg shrugged one shoulder.
“That night after our date, my father and I had a big fight. Words were said that could not be unsaid. Nasty, hateful words, and he told me to go. I was so hot headed that I did just that, I left thinking I’d never look back, but I did look back, every day. I thought about you constantly wondering what you must have thought of me. At the time my pride got in the way, and I just couldn’t come home.” He rubbed the back of his neck as the memory of his father’s words clamored in his head.
“I moved to Colorado and did odd jobs, mostly ranch work. I was soon known as the best horse trainer around, and I was hired by the owner of one of the finest ranches in the county.”
Meg’s stance hadn’t softened one iota.
“He had a daughter, Mary, who had tangled with the wrong man. He forced himself on her, hurt her and left. This was after he wooed her and told her he loved her. She was devastated and doubly so when she found herself pregnant. I have to tell you that Mary was a very sweet girl, but I never felt what I should for her when I married her.”
“Why did you marry her?”
“I was sorry for her. She felt shamed and worthless. Her dad approached me with the idea, and I figured I’d never see you again. I married her, and we had a daughter named Jill. The whole time I was with Mary I thought of you. She deserved better than me. I tried to love her, and I did to a certain extent but, Meg, you were always in my heart. Six months ago, there was a horrible car accident and I lost them both. The police said the accident wasn’t my fault but I can’t shake the guilt I feel.”
Her eyes misted as she walked across the room and wrapped her arms around him.
Meg laid her head on his well-muscled chest, listening as the beat of his heart increased. All these years she’d owned a piece of his heart and hadn’t known it. He’d held a big piece of her heart as well. It felt so right, better than she’d remembered. He made her blood sing but he also made her feel too vulnerable. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she said woodenly as she reluctantly pulled away from him.
Distance and time to think was in order; being so close to Luke, she couldn’t trust her feelings. Part of her wanted to kiss him and tell him all was forgiven and perhaps they could start over, but she wasn’t a young romantic girl anymore. The way her body tingled from his touch confused her. Bitterness and heartbreak had hardened her and she didn’t know how to go back. Right now, she didn’t want to go back. Her heart couldn’t take it, and her pride wouldn’t allow it.
“Thank you.” The sorrow in his eyes was intense. He’d suffered; obviously, he’d suffered.
“I won’t bring it up again. It’s your business, and I don’t have any reason to pry, at least not anymore.” Her dad had been right in giving Luke a home. “I have a lot of work to do, so if you’ll excuse me?” Meg turned and just barely stopped herself from running out of the house, a swift walk was the best she could rein herself to.
She always thought if she just had the answer as to why he’d left, the hurt would ease, but if anything the pain was sharper than before. Sure, he had good reasons, she supposed, but marrying another woman was too much for her brain to wrap around.
The barn was empty, and she made her way to Merry’s stall. Meg opened the latch and let herself in, and Merry’s neigh of greeting was the last straw. She put her arms around her horse and cried into her neck. She cried for the girl she’d been, the constant hurt she c
arried and her foolishness of waiting for a man who married another.
It was a sad ordeal Luke had faced, but now was her time to grieve for what could have been. There were still many unanswered questions, which she planned to let lay. She wished she could just move on, date perhaps, but the sting in her heart told her it wouldn’t be anytime soon.
Merry’s ears perked up, and Meg stood still, listening as Luke came into the barn. Like a coward, she ducked down until he walked by and then back out of the barn. Wishing him well was one thing, but seeing him every day was going to be a very long nightmare she wouldn’t be able to escape.
Meg sighed as her tears finally stopped. The best way to avoid Luke would be to let him take charge of the mustangs. Her heart squeezed even more, creating excruciating pain, but it really was the only way. He did live in the house, but she would keep herself scarce. There was always plenty to do on the ranch. Hopefully, Luke would start building a house of his own soon.
Luke watched the mustangs with pride. It had been two weeks since Meg told him his job was to manage the mustangs. The hurt in her blue eyes haunted him, and he knew her reasoning; she wanted him out of her hair.
Dinnertime mainly consisted of just him and Owen eating some canned or frozen meal. Meg left the house early and came back after dark. She needed her space. He understood, but still it stung, he was the reason she couldn’t enjoy her own home.
His strength was flowing back, and his injuries were healing. He still had a ways to go, but today he planned to ride one of his horses. It was time to sell off some of the herd, but he’d have to find a good time to mention it. He smiled. Damn, she’s a stubborn one.
If that fateful fight with his father had never happened, he and Meg would probably be married with kids of their own. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, it was best not to go there. A visit to his dad at the nursing home hung over his head. It was expected by everyone that he go, but he really didn’t want to see the son of a bitch who’d ruined his life.
Talk about tangled webs, both his and Meg’s parents had woven one hell of a web of lies. He’d always felt so sorry for his mother, the way his dad treated her had been cruel, but her actions had started the chain of events. She’d always acted so virtuous, so pious, but knowing she’d had an affair with Owen made it hard to think of her in a good light.
Zeus came right over at the sound of Luke’s whistle. A powerful animal, and he couldn’t wait to ride him. “Come on boy, let’s get you saddled. I need to feel the wind on my face.”
Finally, Luke had Zeus saddled and ready to go. Getting up into the saddle was a bit challenging, his leg didn’t want to cooperate, but he managed. Glorious, an appropriate word for what he felt on top of Zeus. No more doubts, he was going to be just fine.
Luke rode his land with pride; his dad had chosen well when he purchased it. He’d find a way to pay Owen back some day. Right now, he was land rich but cash poor. It would all work out. Selling some of the mustangs was the key, but dealing with Meg was going to be near impossible. Owen would know he was right but Meg, his spitfire Meg, was certain to balk.
Some of the fences between his land and the O’Brien’s had been removed and it felt odd. He’d ridden these fences to make sure they were still up and in good condition most of his life but they had every right to make use of his land. The idea of swinging by his old house was tempting, but he didn’t think he’d be able to get off Zeus and back on again. If the owners were around it wouldn’t be polite to talk to them from atop of a horse.
Finally, he rode to the spot where his brother was buried. His heart panged for a life taken so young. David had been a rebel; if there was a way to piss their dad off, David had found it. Luke would like to believe that David and his mom were in heaven together, but he had his doubts.
Scanning the horizon, he spotted a rider and quickly left the gravesite. It was Meg. Even from this distance, he could tell. She had a gracefulness about her when she rode. Actually, it surprised him that she rode in his direction. These days all he saw of her was her back.
He spurred Zeus toward her, not wanting her to spot the place where David was buried. No one knew he was dead, and it was better for all involved to let it lay.
She rode toward him, and her smile surprised him. It probably wasn’t for him. She was so beautiful with her long hair cascading freely down her back, and her tan Stetson was the perfect contrast for its sable color. Her carefree nature was missed.
“Howdy, Meg, what brings you out this way?”
“I thought I’d better take a look at my mustangs.” She stared just left of him, avoiding his gaze.
“I see, going to take a head count?”
Her brow furrowed, and she cocked her head to one side. “Do I need to? Is there something you’re not telling me?”
He wished he could tell her all of his secrets. “No, not at all, although we do have to trim the herd. You could get a lot of money for some of these horses.”
To his surprise, she nodded. “I know. I guess in the back of my mind I’ve been waiting for you to come home. You have more knowledge about mustangs than I do. Let me know which ones and we’ll discuss it.” There was little emotion in her voice.
“You’ve done well with them. Most are saddle ready. Who did that for you?”
Her mouth hung open, and a glimmer of her feisty spirit showed in her eyes. “It was me and only me. I bought the mustangs on the condition that I would take care of them.”
“You saddle broke them? I’m impressed, it’s not an easy job. I’ve been thrown from more mustangs than I care to admit.”
Nodding, she smiled slightly. “I’ve had my share of bruises and aches.”
“You didn’t come out here alone did you?”
“Of course I did. I’m the ranch foreman. I can do anything a cowboy can do, only better. I have to admit that the men weren’t all thrilled but they’ve come around and respect me.” She held her head up proudly.
The lusciousness of her lips hypnotized him.
“What is so interesting you have to stare?”
He gave her a wide smile. “You don’t know how beautiful you are. I find you enchanting.”
Cringing she shook her head. “Sweet talking me isn’t going to work.”
He winced.
“Are you okay? Is your leg hurting you?”
“Afraid I may be laid up and won’t be able to work?” He couldn’t help the sarcasm in his voice.
Her horse sidestepped and it took her a minute to get her under control. “To think I was actually concerned about you. I have work to do. Why don’t you draw up a plan for the sale of the mustangs and we can talk in dad’s office after dinner.”
“I know you have work to do. In fact, you work too hard. After dinner sounds fine.”
Meg nodded, turned Merry around, leaving him to choke on her dust as he watched after her.
Damn, why couldn’t she just give an inch in his direction? It was going to take a whole lot of persuading but in the end, he planned for Meg to be his.
Later, Meg paced back and forth in her father’s office. She’d skipped dinner, needing to think. Selling part of the herd was something she intended to do but there were never enough hours in a day to get everything done. In fact having Luke take over the mustangs had been a relief. She just hoped he didn’t get hurt riding them.
A knock on the door stopped her pacing. “Come in.”
The door opened slowly and Luke’s expression reminded her of a boy waiting to see the principal. Was talking with her that painful? She gave him a slight smile. They used to be so easy together. Now it was almost too much effort.
She walked behind the desk and sat down. It felt odd, her father always sat here. “About the mustangs—”
Luke sat in the black leather chair near the fireplace, and that confused her. Was he taking this conversation too lightly? Was he dismissing her power as the foreman? Whatever his game, she wasn’t pleased.
“I know that look,
Meg, and before you blow a gasket, I’m sitting here because my leg hurts. Come sit next to me.”
The fact that she hesitated saddened her. She was always expecting an ulterior motive to all his actions. Her stomach dropped a bit, but she stood up, grabbed her paperwork, and sat in the chair next to his. She had a right to her feelings, given his past behavior.
Luke cleared his throat. “I already had plans to sell half my herd before I left. I’d still like to do that. Then what I’d like to do is work with the mustangs you broke and trained to get a feel for their strengths and weaknesses.”
“You doubt my training?”
Luke smiled and shook his head. “Of course not. I just haven’t been able to ride until today, and I’m not going to sell a horse I haven’t ridden. As far as I can tell, you did an amazing job with those horses.” He winced as he shifted in his chair.
“You won’t be able to ride them for a while. You probably shouldn’t have been on Zeus today.”
“I know, you’re right, but I couldn’t help myself. I just had to be on the back of a horse. You of all people should understand.”
The smile she gave him was real, and it surprised her. “I know exactly how you feel. What if I took some time each day to ride the mustangs for you. You can tell how good they are by watching me.”
Luke laughed. “Oh, Meg, I can’t promise the horses are the only things I’ll be watching. You sure are a nice distraction, but I think it will work.”
“If I’m going to distract you—”
He gave her an intense stare, and she felt as though he could see her heart and soul.
“It was a compliment, Meg. This is the part where you’re supposed to thank me. I’d think you’d be used to compliments, but I have the feeling you don’t allow people to give them to you.”
“Well, I’ll let you know tomorrow what time I’ll be able to ride.” She stood up and hurried out of the office. She wasn’t going to fall for his glib comments about her supposed beauty and what did he mean she didn’t allow compliments?
Luke's Fate Page 3