‘There are indeed, but they do need help to get there.’ Lena was silent for some moments as she thought this through, then gave a small smile. ‘Actually, that’s quite a good idea. It might work. The question is, are you willing to take the risk?’
Meeting her friend’s wide-eyed gaze, Cecily nodded. ‘I am. How can politicians call this a war to end all wars? It’s a nightmare and our prisoners must be badly in need of assistance, something I’m more than willing to give.’
‘Excellent! Thank you so much for your offer, which I happily accept,’ Lena said, shaking her hand.
The dance was held at a Nissen hut that had thankfully not been damaged. It was packed with men, most of them happily dancing with each other. Cecily, Lena and Queenie never once found themselves short of an invitation to dance, while Merryn stood on a small platform happily playing her accordion. Cecily was hoping to take a little rest when a voice whispered in her ear.
‘May I have the pleasure of this dance?’
Turning, she found Louis Casey, the French Canadian, facing her. He was smartly dressed in a khaki uniform with two breast pockets, a leather belt, peaked cap and knee-high boots. His ragged ash-brown hair was now neatly washed and clipped, his velvet brown eyes twinkling at her from beneath thick eyelashes. He looked so much healthier and more handsome than the last time she’d seen him when those shells had struck. ‘Delighted to see that you’ve fully recovered and are no longer in the hospital ward,’ she said, a flare of attraction lighting within her.
‘The doc fixed my shoulder so here I am, fit and well.’
Taking her hand, he led her on to the dance floor. The feeling of his arm coming around her and his cheek close to hers filled her with an unexpected surge of happiness, almost as though she belonged in this man’s embrace. The pressure of his strong fit body and the warmth of his legs excited her, a sensation she had not experienced for some time. She remembered how Ewan had loved to dance with her, claiming he welcomed any opportunity to hold her close. Now it was time for her to move forward and not dwell too much upon his death, only the happy experience of their life together.
‘Are you married?’ Louis asked.
She smiled and shook her head. ‘When I was young, I did once dream of being courted by an Italian Count or a Prince of the Realm, as Mama assured me could well happen. It was a dream that quickly vanished once I met Ewan, the love of my life. We became engaged, then I tragically lost him in this blasted war, which is the reason I decided to come and do my bit for the other Tommies.’
‘Ah, I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ve lost many dear friends too. You’re sweet and lovely and I like you a lot. In fact, I’m totally captivated by you and hugely impressed at your talent. Would you care to marry me?’
Cecily laughed out loud. ‘You hardly know me. I’m not at all obsessed with marriage, unlike Mama and my sister, both of whom believe a woman should find herself a husband and be a good wife and mother. It is no longer on my list, although I’m very aware that some men are in desperate search of a wife, and can be rather demanding.’
Holding her close, he pressed his cheek against hers, whispering in her ear, ‘I assure you I am not a controlling vampire. My intentions are entirely honourable. I’d love to kiss you. Having you in my arms makes my heart pound and my head spin. Do I by any chance have that effect upon you too?’
It was some moments before Cecily felt able to respond, equally captivated by dancing with this man. She tactfully chose not to answer this question. ‘How long have you been in this war?’ she blithely asked, pulling back her head to create a little more distance between them.
He gave a heavy sigh. ‘From the start. I joined with my best pals and we went through many campaigns together, including the nightmare of the Somme. I lost several of them, yet I survived against all the odds. Touch wood, fingers crossed, I’ll continue to do so.’
‘It can’t be easy fighting and constantly being involved in battles,’ she said, filled with sympathy.
‘I’d just turned twenty-one when it started and eagerly joined up as my father had been in the Boer War. I wished to become a hero just like him. That’s not easy to achieve but I do my best. Most of the time we’ve no idea what’s happening in the next town, let alone in the rest of the country. When we first arrived, we were marched up a hill to the camp, which was a scrubby mess. The next morning, we were given a medical and a short haircut. Then over the following days, we went through endless instructions, doing simulated attacks over barbed wire and trenches, learning how to throw hand grenades, use bayonets and other ammunition. After that, we were moved on to do our bit in the trenches and faced a barrage of shellfire.’ He fell silent, tears welling in his eyes as he obviously recalled the loss of his pals.
‘We won’t go into the grim reality. You’re a brave man.’ The dance ended at this point and she gave him a twinkling little smile. ‘I’ll forgive you all the nonsense questions you’ve asked of me and wish you well. I hope you get safely through this dratted war, as I call it.’
‘Merci.’ To her surprise, he continued to hold her close in his arms and when the music started playing again, continued to dance with her. ‘The entertainment you are providing us here is also brave and the reason you’re treated with great respect. We chaps feel in desperate need of your concerts to lighten our gloom and raise our morale.’
‘We greatly appreciate our audience who are always wonderfully welcoming. I must admit that when I am singing or playing a part on stage, I feel totally different, not at all myself, just a make-believe person having fun. Such a treat. In reality, I’m a bit of a tomboy and, yes, extremely independent.’
‘I am too. One has to look after oneself with great diligence in this war.’
Not wishing to relate the horrors they’d suffered, Cecily went on to tell a funny story about the difficulty of finding fruit to eat in France and how once she’d found an orchard and managed to strike a deal with the farmer by swapping a tin of bully beef for a couple of apples. ‘Scrumptious,’ she said with a chuckle.
It was then that their second dance ended, and she next found herself dancing with Johnny. He was nowhere near as exciting or as interesting as Louis Casey.
At the far end of the room, Merryn stood watching as she played her accordion, feeling a wave of envy over how her sister was never short of invitations, not only from these lonely soldiers, that French-Canadian fellow, but now Johnny. He appeared totally engrossed in her. Did Cecily find him appealing too? Merryn had often seen them huddled in corners together, supposedly discussing the next production. She’d found it distressing not to be included in such conversations. Was Johnny’s main task in life simply to make himself important to her family since he apparently had suffered a poor upbringing himself ? Or did he just like to flirt? He seemed perfectly content to amble on in this live-for-the-moment fashion. In one respect, Merryn adored that trait in him, as it made him so delightfully hedonistic.
One evening after a performance, he’d surprisingly begged for her assistance to improve his use of the cymbals, then later to help him learn his lines for the play extract in order to halt Cecily’s criticism of him. Merryn had happily given him her full support whenever he needed it, as they were growing quite close. Now she’d begun to dream of a more intense relationship between them, wondering how she might achieve that seemingly impossible goal. Was it her that Johnny liked most or Cecily?
To her delight, once she stepped down from playing her accordion, with the man playing the phonograph taking over, Johnny came to ask her to dance. She felt utterly contrite, quickly banishing her jealousy. ‘I thought you’d lost interest in me by dancing with my sister.’
‘Why would I when you look so beautiful in that gorgeous gown?’
‘I promise to be more trusting,’ Merryn said, beguiling him with a smile. ‘At least, I hope I will. I’ve grown up and don’t throw tantrums or go off into sulks any more.’
‘I’m glad to hear that. So, if I were ever to a
pologise for letting you down, you’d forgive me, would you?’
Quickly glancing around to make sure no one was watching, she reached up to touch his lips, his brow and cheeks with her fingers. ‘Of course I would. Oh, do stop your teasing, I can’t bear to wait another moment for you to kiss me.’
‘Let’s step outside,’ he whispered in her ear.
Collapsing into a fit of giggles, they escaped the Nissen hut to walk quickly away over the duckboards, carefully avoiding the mud and shell holes. Johnny led her to the pillbox, one that had been built of concrete by the Germans when they were in control of this district. ‘Some chaps hid here to protect themselves from that dreadful shelling. It proved to be quite safe, although one shell did hit the roof. They sensibly chose not to venture out until silence descended and the bombing eventually stopped, thanks to the change in weather. It’s empty now that all the Tommies are at the dance.’
Grinning, he took her in his arms and kissed her with passion. His earlier kisses had always delighted Merryn, but were nowhere near as enticing as the positive storm of the ones he was giving her now.
‘I can sense how much you want me,’ he murmured. ‘Come to my bed tonight and I will kiss you some more. Yes?’
‘No! Absolutely not.’ Merryn giggled, wishing to show that she wasn’t cross with him as she melted in his arms.
‘Then let me make love to you here,’ he murmured, sliding the straps from her low-necked gown. Brushing the bare skin of her breasts, he pulled her down and settled himself quickly upon her. Merryn warned herself to put a stop to this outrageous act as her heart flamed and her body refused to obey. Longing to be a part of him, she arched herself instinctively, revelling in ecstasy as he located a rosy nipple, rubbing it gently between his finger and thumb. She was consumed by desire for more kisses, willing to do whatever he demanded, a sensation she really had no wish to relinquish.
The weight and scent of him was so overpowering, Merryn felt all her senses slip out of control. She could see the glint of his teeth as he smiled, then he traced the outline of her mouth with his tongue. It was already flushed a rosy pink from all the kisses she’d previously received. Wanting more, she responded with a whimper of desire. It felt glorious to feel loved, free and safe. Johnny was a wonderful young man, one Merryn was convinced would never let her down. It was then that she felt his hand pull up her skirt to stroke her legs. She gasped as he touched her private parts. Seconds later, he was inside her, the rhythmic pounding of his movement completely enveloped her and she gladly gave herself to him.
Afterwards, she lay panting for breath in his arms, filled with a confusion of ecstasy and a strange sense of shame. It occurred to her that she might come to regret what she’d allowed him to do. Yet why should she when she loved him so much? And he must surely love her too. He’d disposed of her virginity but his lovemaking had been so wonderfully ecstatic, she had no wish to give him up. Possibly she should curb further attempts by him, in case there were unwelcome consequences. This was a vow Merryn fervently made while doubting her strength to succeed in resisting him. Why could they not be true and ardent lovers? And could she explain to him why she needed to avoid temptation and protect herself ? Probably not. ‘Are you going to apologise for taking me?’ she murmured.
He gave a little snigger of laughter. ‘Why would I, when you’re so delicious I could eat you all up?’
‘Mama expects me to be respectable and proper. She can be very dictatorial about what sort of young man I’m allowed to go out with, sending them packing if they’re not high-class and rich.’
‘I confess I’m just a poor northern lad. She’s the one who’s rich, so why would it matter? Just keep quiet and don’t tell her about us,’ he instructed her as he kissed her again.
‘Oh, I do so agree. How close we are. Queenie believes it’s my sister that you’re obsessed with,’ she said, with a giggle. ‘We know that is not the case. When did you realise you cared so much for me?’ she asked, seeking confirmation of his feelings so that she could swathe herself in reassurance for this glorious event.
‘Is that an essential question?’ he parried, seeming to imply it was entirely inappropriate of her to ask. ‘Didn’t you eagerly fall for me?’
‘Oh yes, when I first met you at the Palace Theatre. Why would I not? And now we are one.’
‘You could say that. I always welcome a lovely woman to do what I demand.’
His arms tightened about her and Merryn sighed with contentment. His kisses were increasingly demanding – oh, but why would she not agree to do whatever he wanted of her? Gently pushing him away to study his face more seriously, her cheeks glowed with excitement. ‘You do appreciate, Johnny, that you’ve robbed me of my virginity.’
‘I assume that to be the case.’
‘Was it your first time too?’
He gave a snort of laughter. ‘I’m thirty years old – how could that be possible?’
A man obviously needed to be expert at lovemaking, she told herself and supposed it was naïve of her to believe otherwise. In view of what they had to endure in this war, why would they not relish whatever happiness they could find together? Locked in his embrace, the possibility of enduring what her sister had suffered came to Merryn in a startling panic. Johnny would surely survive any future attacks or barrages of explosion, as had she in the canteen. That had proved to be the most terrifying moment in her life, a fear still jerking within her every time she heard the roar of a gun or a blast of shrapnel fire. Were the worst to happen and she lost Johnny, at least she could live with the memory of their love.
SIXTEEN
CECILY SAT under the tarpaulin watching as Queenie sang to the audience, looking much calmer than on occasions in the past when she was drunk. She seemed to be on the road to recovery, which was something of a relief and it seemed right to allow her to sing again, which might well recover their relationship. Johnny and Merryn were accompanying her, which was also a good thing, bearing in mind this new plan Cecily was about to become involved in. When the performance ended and Queenie came over, beaming with satisfaction, she gave her a warm hug. ‘Well done, Mama. You look as if you’re back in your star days.’
‘You still refuse to call me by my real name, silly girl. I do at least thank you for believing in me at last. But I have no wish to work too hard, preferring only the odd performance.’
‘That makes sense.’ Waving the latest pass she’d been granted, Cecily happily made an announcement. ‘We are to be allowed to do a performance for a local base hospital. Johnny, you’ll not be required to drive us there, as you have enough to do. We’ve been offered the support of a young soldier who is due for some leave, having suffered from various wounds. He’s slowly recovering and before he goes home, he’s willing to help backstage with props since we’ve lost Corporal Lewis. He claims to know a good deal about the theatre and actually seems to be upper class like you, Mama, so that could be the reason.’
‘Some of us are born with class and cleverness running through our veins,’ Queenie stoutly remarked.
‘An interesting thought,’ Cecily said with a smile. She’d done her best to give a reason for this soldier joining them, without revealing he was an escapee, currently hidden away in a secret bolthole by Lena. They would be sure to object to the risk she was prepared to take by helping these men.
When Cecily met up with him the following morning, she was relieved to see that he was no longer dressed as a prisoner but as a soldier on duty. He appeared scrawny and pale with a bandage round his forehead covering one eye, the other narrow and twitching with a troubled gaze. Many soldiers had such wounds and were fairly gaunt, having suffered badly from the effects of war. He introduced himself as Sergeant Allenby, clicking his heels and giving a smart salute.
Cecily gratefully shook his hand. ‘Good to meet you, sir, and thank you for your support.’
His expression changed to one of confusion. ‘I thought you were the one offering me support.’
; ‘She certainly is, only it must appear to be the other way round,’ Lena whispered. ‘You’ll be working for this concert party today as dear Corporal Lewis used to. Then you’ll quietly depart.’
‘Rightio,’ he said with a smile, his dark eye lightening a little. ‘At your service, ma’am. No need for you to call me sir.’
‘What a fine young man you are,’ Queenie said, coming over to reward him with one of her enchanting smiles. ‘If a little weary-looking and injured. I assume that is the reason you’ll soon be going off on leave?’
‘For a much-needed few days to recover,’ he said, with a polite nod.
‘Oh my, you sound like a Londoner?’ she cried, clapping her hands in delight. ‘Do tell me where you come from and more about yourself. What did you do for a living before the war, and are you married?’
Cecily stepped hastily forward, all too aware of how her mother adored young men. ‘Mama, please stop your chatter. This sergeant is allowed some privacy, as are you. Now, it’s time for us to leave.’
Sergeant Allenby drove them in the battered old wagon, their equipment safely stowed in the back. It was expected to be an easy journey as this base hospital was quite close to the centre of Ypres. However, they were halted to be checked by a French sentry who took some time examining their passports, passes and permits, appearing entirely unconvinced over their identity. Cecily began to sing ‘It’s a Long Way to Tipperary’, anxious to prove they really were here to entertain the troops.
‘They’ve given any number of wonderful concerts,’ Sergeant Allenby told him in perfect French.
With a smirk of amusement and a little clap when she’d finished her song, the sentry finally allowed them through the barrier into town.
Girls of the Great War Page 14