“I feel like I need to push!”
“Am I too late?” Amy runs through the door like a bat out of hell. “Abby, oh my God, I didn’t miss it.” She cries, tears streaming down her face. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner.” She leans in, kissing her cheek.
“I’d love to chat, but these girls are coming!” She grunts.
“Someone get the nurse,” Nat yells pressing a cloth to Abby’s forehead.
She pretty much won’t let Abby out of her site either. Nat’s never had a friend like she has in Abby. They’ve been close since the beginning. I see them being best friends for a long time. I smile watching my sister play a motherly role with Abby. Or the sisterly one. Either way it’s beautiful and brings a smile to my face every time, knowing how far Natalia has come in this world.
Remembering the once lost girl, young and feared no one, but still scared inside. She’s grown to be such a remarkable, caring human being.
Isn’t that what life is all about? Caring for others. Helping to protect the ones you love. That’s what it’s all about for me, and I see that’s what she feels as well.
“Evan, they’re coming.”
“Son, you have a visitor outside,” Alfred says standing next to me with his hand on my shoulder.
“Who?”
“Your father,” he whispers.
“Evan, I have to push. I can’t do this!” She pants.
I turn from Alfred leaning in on Abby. “Abigale Young. You are the strongest woman I have ever known.” I smile. “You have been through more in your short years than the toughest in the world. You’ve come out on top every time, angel.” I hold her face and Nat steps away. Abby’s eyes are on mine. I know that she’s pulling strength from my words. I will always be her strength. “Our babies will be in our arms soon. Running and playing before you know it. They’re going to be just like you. Strong and beautiful.”
“I wonder if they’ll like me.” She cries through another contraction.
“They’re going to love you. You will be the best mother to them.”
“You really think so? I don’t want to mess them up. What if I do the wrong thing?” She screams again.
“Impossible. These girls will adore you.”
“Okay.” Her soft eyes meet mine. “I know what I want to name them.” Her lips part as another smile reaches her cheeks.
Everyone in the room steps forward waiting to hear what she’s decided. I do too. But I wanted to give this to her. I wanted to let her chose. My gift to her. I don’t know anything about naming a baby girl. One day when it’s a boy we’re having, then maybe I’ll name him. Our future holds so many possibilities.
“I feel it,” she screams again.
The nurse saunters in the very next second seeing her discomfort. “Looks like we’re going to have some babies soon.” She prepares the room. “Who is staying?” she asks.
Everyone looks at me for that answer. I don’t know what to tell them. This is our first rodeo. I’m just as lost as everyone else. So I do what I always do when I need guidance. I look at Abby. “Angel?”
“Everyone.”
“Everyone?” The nurse looks at our group releasing an annoyed breath. “The doctor and nurses need room to work. Please try staying out of the way.” I don’t see it, but I’m sure she’s rolling her eyes.
The doctor enters taking his time. “How are you coming along, Abby?” He sits down at the foot of the bed. “You ready to see these beautiful babies?”
She looks at me, squeezing my hand, but not because she’s in pain. She’s squeezing because without the other we’d be lost. We need each other to hang on and survive. She’s the other half of my soul, and I’m hers. At least that’s what she keeps telling me. I love this girl.
I nod.
She smiles. “We’re ready.”
“Okay, on that note, let’s get these babies delivered.”
The room becomes alive with staff. All of our family against the walls trying to stay out of the way. Abby’s mom holds her left hand while I cling to her right. Natalia’s at the head of the bed with a cool cloth.
Abby pushes as the entire room counts to ten. Everyone is involved. Everyone in this room loves her.
“That’ll be you one day,” Michael says to Nat.
“No, it won’t.” She huffs.
“One day your prince charming will set you free and make an honest woman out of you.” Her eyes slide to his.
“No, he won’t,” she smirks.
“Could you two please just have sex already?” Abby hisses. The entire room erupts in laughter.
Laughter is the first sound our first baby girl hears as she’s welcomed into the world.
“Oh my God! Give me my baby!” The doctor places the baby on her chest. She’s covered in white goo with a head full of the most beautiful dark hair. The nurse hands me a pair of scissors instructing on how to cut the cord. I clip it with tears streaming my cheeks. “I’ll always love you. You’ll never want for anything. I’ll always be there for you, Addison Marie Young.” Abby whispers catching everyone’s attention.
Alison grabs her mouth crying, eyes wide and glistening. Alfred tucks her into his arms as they cry together.
“You ready for your next beautiful girl?” the doctor asks.
“Yes.”
“The name. It’s beautifully perfect, angel.”
“I was hoping you would love it.”
“Of course I do. It’s exactly the perfect name.” I tuck a lose strand of hair behind her ear.
She will heal with this perfect baby. Finally. Her happily-ever-after is here. I cry into my arm while the tears soak into my T-shirt.
Baby girl number two comes with four pushes, and I know my life is complete. Abby reaches out for her. A smile stretched onto her face. I can’t stop smiling either. I’ve never been so happily overwhelmed before. Our baby girls are glowing with perfection. Like when Abby walked into my life; they too are everything I never knew I wanted and yet they’re now everything I can’t live without.
“Oh, you are so beautiful,” I whisper hearing Addison crying in the background. She’s ready for her mommy and Daddy. I see her kicking her hands and feet. She’s already giving them a hard time. A laugh slips from my lips.
“She’s gonna be just like you.” Abby cries. “Your mommy and Daddy are going to be everything you need, my precious baby girl. All of your tears will be wiped away with our love Kathryn Marie Young.” Abby’s eyes meet mine.
My heart stops. “You named her after my mother?”
“I thought her middle name was perfect for our little girl. Now the two ladies that aren’t here physically to share our lives with us will be here in spirit each day. They’ll shine with their guardian angels surrounding them. And we’ll see them in each smile and every tear. I wanted them to stay close and never be forgotten.” I wipe away her falling tears and she wipes mine away.
“It’s perfect.” Placing a chaste kiss on Abby’s lips, I lean close to her ear so only she can hear me. “Thank you.” My eyes close as her hand reaches my cheek.
“This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Michael rubs his eyes while he’s apparently crying now.
“They aren’t things.” Nat smacks his shoulder.
“I mean this, all this. Family, love, babies. I want this.”
“Oh, God. Do you see what you’re turning him into?” Nat rolls her eyes. Everyone laughs.
The doctors continue working on Abby while everyone oohs and ahhs over the babies. They’re so beautiful. Tiny, little fingers and toes. Each baby has a tiny birthmark. Addison’s on her right arm. Abby nearly fell out of her bed. She says that’s where Addie’s birthmark was. And Kathryn’s on her left inner thigh. I don’t know if my mom had a birthmark, but I do know who I could ask. My Dad.
We’re switched into the mother-baby unit and once everything settles down and Abby is resting peacefully, I turn off the light and leave the room. I walk down the hallway exiting the d
oors to the waiting room, checking to see if Thomas is still here.
“Evan, how is she? They. How are they?” He jumps from his seat. Huge teddy bears and gift bags surround his seat. “Are they okay?” I’ve never seen my father like this. I stop in my walk towards him taking it all in. I have everything I could ever want and now I have the man I’ve never called Dad standing in front of me. There’s nothing more that I’d like to do in this very moment than hug him.
So I do.
One step at a time we move closer, each of us bringing our arms out. For the first time, we wrap each other in a father son embrace. He grips me tight, and I cry into his shoulder as he does mine.
“I love you, son. I know I’ve not shown you. I’ve been a horrible father, but I’ve always loved you.” His hug is relentless as he grips me. “And I couldn’t be prouder of you right now. You’ve grown into the man I could never be.”
“Abby named the girls Addison and Kathryn.” I lean back.
“After her sister and your mother?”
I nod.
He cries.
“Can I see them? Do you have pictures?”
I pull out my phone with their pictures, scrolling through hundreds. Laughing at all of their facial expressions. These girls have huge personalities, and they’re not even twenty-four hours old yet.
“You’re going to have your hands full, Son.” His eyes raise as his hand meets mine. “So proud of you.”
“I think that Addie-bug looks just like you,” I tell Abby.
“You think?” She’s surprised.
“I do, and I think Katie-bug looks just like me.” I laugh.
“You do know they’re identical right?” Abby laughs.
“I do. But if Addie looks like you that means that she looks just like her aunt Addie, doesn’t it?” Her mouth opens as she realizes what I’ve also just realized.
“Huh, I never thought about it that way. That’s kinda cool, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
Our new room is spacious and homey. Abby decorated it during her nesting stage, which was pretty much the day we moved in. Beautifu,l warm colors, flowers, pictures, and the twins’ beds. She doesn’t want them in another room and neither do I. We want them as close as they can possibly be. Our family will always be close. We want that connection with them for as long as possible. We want to be near each other always. Abby watches inside the crib as the two girls snuggle with each other. The doctors said they can sleep together and it’s great for their bonding.
Abby and Addie always slept together when they were growing up. She says they just needed that connection and safety the other provided. We want them to have that, too. They cuddle together in a swaddle, keeping each other warm and safe. Addie-bug is holding Katie-bug’s hand. Every time I look at these girls I cry.
“You ready for bed, Daddy?” Abby leans up from the edge of the white crib.
I stand from my leaning position ready to hold this amazing woman in my arms and never let her go. “Definitely.”
“Good cause the girls will be awake soon.” She laughs.
We tuck ourselves into our new bed sinking into the warmth of each other’s embrace. Abby’s head lay on my chest like it always does when she sleeps.
“You know there’s never been a love like ours, right?”
“And their never will.” She raises her head watching me.
This is what it all comes down to. The way love makes us feel. The desire to have it. To own it. It’s not dished out onto serving plates at the dinner table.
No...
You must fight and conquer to claim that feat. Jumping in with your imagination instead of your body to truly know what's possible.
Trusting the one you love wholeheartedly, knowing they'll be there to be anything you need, to give anything they can, and fighting like hell to push the limits when it all seems impossible.
"Love is such an... unreasonable word don’t you think?"
"I think love is the reflection of the light it yields. The way you feel when tested by it."
"And how does it make you feel?" I kiss her hand
"Happy, intense, adored, fiercely protected, claimed." She smiles so innocently.
"When I look into your eyes, I see everything I never knew I wanted and everything I can’t live without," I confess to my bride.
"Love is what it all comes down to."
"Oblivion is so much more fitting."
"Oblivion it is." We agree.
“Daddy, Daddy.” Addison runs through the living room with a large piece of paper.
“Addie-bug did you make this in school today?” My girl is the most amazing little artist. So creative and full of imagination.
“Yes, Daddy, I made this for you. That’s you, Mommy, me, Sissy, and the new baby.” My heart melts when those green eyes look into my soul.
“Where’s Sissy and Mommy?”
She shrugs. “Will you hang it on the wall with the others? Please, Daddy.” She’s jumps up and down waiting for my response as she tugs on my T-Shirt.
“Of course, I will, angel. You know your art is very special to Daddy.” Addie-bug has my dimples and her mommy’s green eyes.
My beautiful wife walks into the room having a conversation with our baby girl Kathryn. She’s just as beautiful now as the day we met, if not more so. Long dark curls, gorgeous body, pink cheeks, and glistening green eyes. My heart stops for her without fail when she walks into the room.
“Someone got an award for being respectful today.” Abby praises our star pupil.
“Mommy, hold me.” Addison tugs on Abby’s sweater.
“Mommy can’t hold you right now, love bug. The baby is very heavy in Mommy’s tummy, but as soon as I sit down I can cuddle with you.
“No, I want you to hold me.” Addison’s temper tantrum has Abby frowning.
We’re in the third trimester with our baby boy. He’s been quite the little trouble maker. The doctor said he’s already nine-pounds and we still have five weeks to go. Just like daddy. Big and strong. He’ll protect the girls one day. He’ll keep them safe.
“Daddy’s very proud of your painting Addie-bug and Katie-bug, Daddy is also very proud of your award. You girls go play for a few minutes. Daddy wants to talk to Mommy, okay.”
“Mommy and Daddy are gonna kiss.” I hear the girls giggle and whisper to each other. Their whispers being as quiet as an inside voice. They laugh, running into their play room. I get a hold of my beautiful wife when the begin playing.
“How was your day, angel?” I walk her to the sofa pulling her legs across my lap rubbing her beautiful feet.
“I turned over my last article before maternity leave.” She gives a scared look. “I’m nervous about this one. Not something I’m used to writing about. I hope it doesn’t get rejected.” Abby’s been working for Page Six for the last several years. After the girls were born she wanted to focus on them, but once they were old enough to be away from her I encouraged her to get back to doing what I know she loves. We aren’t hiding anymore. She deserves to live her life anyway that brings her happiness.
Adam, Skits, and Baldwin are still protecting Abby and the girls. Each one has someone with them at all times. One day my past may resurface, and I’ll be ready. I hope.
“Did Daddy miss Mommy today?” I know that look.
“Daddy missed Mommy very, very much.” I wiggle my brows.
These last four years have been bliss. I never knew that happiness would come like this. Our children opening their presents on Christmas and birthdays. It’s priceless.
Alison and Alfred spend most of their time here. Natalia is always close by. Michael has to come over and play with the girls at least three times a week. And my dad is here a minimum of once a month. He spoils these girls rotten. Not just a little. When I say he spoils them, I mean showers them with everything and anything he can possibly buy.
I get so frustrated with that. Abby’s the one that talks me down. She’s come to a place of
forgiveness with my father. I think it has a lot to do with the story he’d told me. He shared that with her as well then showed us what he’d done to honor her sister’s memory. I had no idea. He didn’t want recognition for it so he never told me before. But it had been in place for a very long time.
We’ll be going there for the girls’ fifth birthday. The entire family is making the journey to Washington D.C. Alison, Alfred, Natalia, Michael, Amy, Dominic, Baldwin, Adam, Skits, and, of course, us. The girls have been so excited to see this beautiful gift their grandpa gave to their aunt.
When they were little, they would talk to her. Abby says that little ones can see angels. She had a great sense of peace knowing Addison was with the girls. They don’t see her anymore. Abby also says after children are older they aren’t able to see people on the other side anymore. “Life gets in the way,” she says. It’s true. Life does get in the way. That’s why we are taking this trip. We’ll all be together again.
Abby doesn’t get to see Amy very often with her living in New York. She’s doing really amazing, though. Abby misses her like fucking crazy. A few years ago I surprised her with a girl’s weekend in New York. I stayed here with the girls. Thank God Nana Ali was here to save the day. We’ve never had Nannies. Only Nana and Aunt NaNa have sat with the girls alone. I was quickly given a whole new respect for stay at home Moms and Dads.
I’m working as the CEO of Young Security so I’m not here all the time. Michael, Nat, and I have really enjoyed working together. I’d like to think it’ll always be like this. Almost every morning they come here to start the day. It isn’t because their wanting to see me or Abby. No. They want to see their god-children.
One thing I can say for sure; if something happens to Abby or myself these girls will be fiercely protected. They are very loved and safe. I’m very thankful for that.
My family is everything to me.
“Evan.” I hear from my sleep.
I open my eyes when she begins tapping on my chest. “What’s wrong, Angel?”
Our Sins Page 19