“That’s not all,” Chela said.
“Shut up, Chela!” He grabbed my arm, stopping me. I was about to tell him off when my eyes flicked to his. I froze at the terrified look in his eyes. “Mandi, uh, Juan was in my apartment earlier today, and I think he...he might have...”
“Your brother took Julian’s gun.”
I blinked, not believing the words that came out of Chela’s mouth. Her brown eyes were serious.
“Tell me you’re joking.”
“I don’t kid about things like that. I told pendejo here to keep it locked up.” She whacked the back of Julian’s head again.
“How does he even know about your gun?” I snapped at Julian. This was the last thing my parents needed. They had enough to worry about.
“He asked me if I knew anyone who would sell him one. I told him he had to learn to use one first, so I took him to the firing range.”
“You what? Are you crazy?” I punched his arm.
“I was trying to do the responsible thing!” He placed his hands up, trying to block my fists as they pummeled into his beefy arms. I might as well have been hitting a wall for all the effect I was having on him.
“You let him take your gun!”
“No! And I don’t know for sure if he took it.”
“It didn’t just magically disappear, Julian!” He was barely old enough to drive and now my little brother was running around somewhere with a gun.
“Maybe he wanted to go target shooting or something.” He forced a hopeful smile.
“Yeah, right.” Chela rolled her eyes.
“You’re not helping, Chela,” he growled.
“Knock it off, both of you! We need to find Juan.”
“Hey, Mandi!”
Kristie bounced over to us with a big smile on her face. “Ooh, the whole gang is here. I’m so glad we’re all back together again. I miss seeing you guys. Let’s go to Gil’s to celebrate. My treat! I knew when I saw Juan that things would be alright. Do you think he’ll want to go with us? Where is he? Is he with Nic?”
“You saw Juan?” I latched onto her arms. Her blue eyes widened with surprise.
“Yeah. He was hanging out over there, waiting on a motorcycle.” She nodded to the far corner of the parking lot that was partially hidden by overgrown shrubs. “Didn’t you send him to get Nic?”
“No,” I breathed.
“Oh, man,” Chela said, hopping onto the hood of her car. Her eyes bounced from Kristie to me. “This is better than abuela’s novelas.”
“It’s not funny, Chela,” Julian growled.
“I don’t understand,” Kristie said.
I gazed into pools of blue innocence, wishing that I didn’t understand either and dreading the moment that it all came together and registered in my head. My stomach churned as the pieces of the puzzle slowly moved into place: Kristie spotting Juan waiting in the parking lot, Juan’s hatred for Nic, the missing gun.
Then it hit me.
“He’s after Nic!”
I flew to the minivan, ignoring Kristie’s bewildered shouts and questions about what was happening.
“Where are you going?” Julian followed close behind me.
“To Koppe. I probably would’ve caught up to them by now if you hadn’t stopped me.”
“How do you know that’s where they went?”
“I don’t.” My hands trembled as I struggled to get the keys into the ignition.
“I’m going with you. Move over.” He opened the car door and took the keys from my hands.
“Steve said that Nic’s father was here. I think Nic went with his father back to Koppe. And...and,” I swallowed the bile climbing my throat, “Juan went after him.”
Julian’s dark eyes met mine, and in them I saw a reflection of the terrified expression on my face. Quickly, he schooled his face and turned on the car. “Don’t worry. We’ll catch up to them.”
“Wait, take the back roads that go through Five Mile Dam.”
“Are you sure?”
I closed my eyes, remembering prom night, that perfect night I’d spent in Nic’s arms. It was the first time I’d made love to him and the night I knew Nic truly loved me. I remembered him mentioning how his father had always taken the back roads.
“Yes.”
As Julian slammed his foot onto the gas pedal, I pressed my hands against my forehead, pushing against the crazy thoughts that kept going through my head. I knew my little brother. He might be pissed off and blame Nic for what had happened to Mom, but he’d never do something this stupid.
Would he?
NINE: Nic
He wouldn’t even let me say goodbye. I couldn’t even leave her a note.
I stared out of the car window as my father’s driver and personal body guard, Tony, sped down the backcountry roads toward Austin. I leaned against the car door and as far away from my father as I could. If the old man ever needed a bodyguard, today was the day. Tony’s presence was probably the only reason I hadn’t strangled him yet.
Father sat with an expression of smug satisfaction as he held what looked like a plastic brick to his ear, speaking quietly into it. The cellphone had cost a small fortunate. He probably could’ve fed a family for a year with the monthly phone fees alone. It didn’t matter to him. It was all in the cost of doing business, he’d say. All he cared about was handling his business in the most efficient way, especially if the state was footing the bill.
Handled. That’s what my father did. He’d handled me just like he handled everyone around him. And there was nothing I could do about it.
I pressed my forehead against the window, reminding myself of why I’d sold my soul to the devil. I was doing it for Mandi, for her family, and, I admitted to myself, for Mandi’s forgiveness. She had been right all along. Since the day she’d met me, she had fought to keep me away. And she was right to have done so. If it weren’t for me, her mom would still be at home, and Mandi would’ve been studying for exams instead of juggling taking care of her brother and sister, meeting with lawyers, and finishing out the semester.
I gritted my teeth, hating that I’d been so selfish to want her love, so much so that I’d forced my way into her life. I fucked up. I messed up her life and her family. And even after I’d turned her world upside down, she still loved me. I’d seen it in her eyes, felt it in the way she gently caressed my bloodied chin. And how did I repay her? By slipping out of her life without so much as word, without a goodbye, or an explanation. She deserved better than that.
I eyed Father’s phone and wondered if I could somehow snatch it away from him for a few minutes.
As Tony directed the car underneath a small bridge, my chest ached at the familiar surroundings. From between the thick line of trees, I caught a glimpse of the river and the gravel path leading to the place I’d taken Mandi after prom. I winced as memories of that night filtered through my mind: the feel of her silky hair on my fingers as I pulled out the pins from her hair, her kisses and soft moans as I kissed every inch of her beautiful body, the blanketing heat of her body against mine as we became one, the sweet ecstasy of climbing to unimaginable heights with her, and the soft expression on her face when we fell back down together. And then, the most vivid memory, one that I’d remember until the day I died: the way she looked when I told her how much I loved her. Three words. Just three words and my life had changed forever.
I let out a shaky breath. Without Mandi in my life, I knew I’d never say those words again.
There was a loud rumble of a motorcycle engine and my eyes instantly shot open.
Juan!
I chastised myself for getting so excited. There was more than one person in this town that owned a motorcycle. Turning in my seat, I looked out the back window.
It was Juan! He revved the engine and waved, motioning for us to pull over.
“Who is that, Dominic?” Father placed a hand over the receiver as if he didn’t want the person on the other end of the phone to hear the revving bike.
/> Ignoring him, I leaned over the driver’s seat. “Pull over, Tony.”
“Mr. Marcelli?” Tony’s questioning eyes reflected in the rearview mirror.
Father shook his head as he continued talking on the phone.
Tony shrugged, looking at me from the mirror apologetically.
It figures. I glanced out the window at Juan, who continued to wave frantically. Then it hit me that he wasn’t wearing a helmet. Mandi would never send him on the motorcycle without one.
Shit! Maybe something had happened to her.
“Pull the fuck over! Now!” I roared as I reached over the seat, attempting to take control of the steering wheel.
The car swerved dangerously. Tony let out a slew of curses as he shoved me away, trying to regain control.
“Stop this nonsense and act your age,” Father growled. “I’m conducting business.”
“Then tell Tony to pull over, or I swear I’ll jump over the seat and drive this car into the river.”
Calculating brown eyes stared into mine. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew I’d do it. After all, I was a Marcelli too.
“Tony.” Father nodded his consent.
The moment Tony rolled the car to the side of the road, I flung the door open.
Father grabbed my arm. “You have five minutes. Tony, go with him.”
“Yes, sir.”
I jerked my arm out of his grasp, not caring what Father told Tony to do. If something was wrong with Mandi, I’d take them both on. No one was going to stop me from getting to her.
I jogged toward Juan and stopped cold at the icy expression on his face. No! Something had definitely happened to Mandi.
Then I heard a car in the distance. Glancing to Juan’s right, I saw a familiar minivan driving under the bridge, heading straight for us. I broke into a smile.
It’s Mandi! She’s coming for me!
I walked toward Juan with a smile on my face, not caring if he still seemed to be a little pissed off. I’d find a way to make it up to him somehow. He had come after me, so he couldn’t be that mad. Mandi had probably sent him ahead because she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to catch up to me in the minivan.
Too happy to care about anything else but getting to see Mandi one last time, I hardly noticed the strange way Juan was standing. Instead, my eyes were on Mandi as she stepped out of the car, calling out my name.
Then her eyes widened as she looked over my shoulder, her face twisting in horror.
“No! Juan!” she screamed.
Slowly, I turned. And in one tenth of a second, I knew.
My life was over.
Sunlight bounced off Tony’s gun as he aimed it at Juan. I turned back to Juan and gazed into the face of a boy who was becoming a man, a boy whose hand shook so hard the gun in his hand was a blur. Without any hesitation, I ran forward, shoving him away and falling into his spot. There was a loud crack followed by a burning, ripping tear in my chest.
My feet lifted off the ground. My body drifted back as if I was flying and then I landed on cool grass with a soft thud.
Blinking, I gazed up at the bright sky as it slowly darkened with each breath I took.
TEN: Nic
People say that in the last few minutes of your life, everything slows down. I thought it was just the BS that some people say to make their story sound cool. They make it sound like a Lifetime movie where memories of a dying character’s life flash across the screen while sad music plays in the background. I didn’t think it was real. Well, I know now—it’s real. It is like flashes of images across the screen, except with every memory you see, you re-experience every single feeling of the memory, and all of it’s done within seconds.
“You never finished explaining what the Rick Astley song was about. Why don’t I take you to dinner and you can tell me about it?”
“No, thank you.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not interested.”
Sounds swirled around me in the darkness. My father’s barking voice, sirens in the distance, feet crunching on gravel. Then I heard Mandi’s voice crying out for me. I reached out, struggling to reach her. A weight slammed into my chest, making me fall deeper into the abyss.
“I know pressure, Mandi. The pressure to be the perfect son. The pressure to win at all costs because that’s the Marcelli way. Because I have to be number one.”
“I didn’t know.”
“That’s why I wanted you to go out with me, Mandi. I wanted you to see the real me.”
“You don’t have to pretend with me. I see you now, Nic. The real Nic.”
A light flickered.
I pushed forward, desperate to reach the light, knowing Mandi was on the other side, waiting for me. I opened my mouth, trying to suck in much needed air. Nothing. I was drowning, falling back into the pit of black.
“I love you! Oh God. I said it. I really said it. I love you, Nic. I’ve always loved you.”
A touch.
Soft fingers lingered on my chest, tugging at my heart. I dug in deep, using everything I had within me to reach Mandi.
“I love you, Nic. Please wake up. Please. Stay with me, Nic,” Mandi sobbed.
With one final push, pain surged through my chest as I finally opened my eyes.
“Mandi.” I croaked, choking on salty liquid. “Juan?”
“Shh, Julian is with him. He wasn’t hurt.” Tears rolled down her cheek as she touched my face, gently stroking it.
The sirens grew closer. Muffled voices became clear, and I heard Julian arguing with my father. Then I heard other voices trying to calm them. Painfully, I turned my head to see what was happening. Mandi’s soft hair tickled my cheek as she hovered over me. Her hair was a silk curtain, shielding me from the rest of the world, protecting me. The sky darkened again with the exertion, and her sobs began to fade.
And I began to dream. It felt like a dream. Soft lips pressed against mine. And I knew it wasn’t a dream. Mandi was calling me back to her. I dug in deep, calling on every ounce of strength I had to keep myself from falling into the abyss yet again.
Don’t give up. Keep going.
I could hear her whimpers. Each cry tore at my heart, and I tried harder. I was slipping. I wanted to stay with her. She needed me.
Then I heard familiar words, words that seemed to come from a different lifetime.
“Don’t you die on me, Marcelli.”
I stepped out from the darkness and onto the banks of the Koppe River. I looked down at my water soaked clothes. Mandi stood in front of me, looking like a goddess in the red gown, the same one she’d worn to Cassie and Cody’s wedding. Her dark eyes gazed at me with longing as she repeated the words.
This was a dream. It had to be.
“Does that mean you’ll go out with me? I’m guessing you will...seeing as how you brought me back to life and all,” I murmured.
“Bite me, Marcelli.” She turned on her heel, her hoop earrings swinging. She paused then turned back around, her face in torment.
“Don’t leave me,” she said, her voice shaking. Then she grabbed my shirt as if afraid I’d disappear. In a blink, my clothes shifted. I was now in a tux, and we were back in the Koppe High gym. Quickly, I clutched her close to me, not knowing how long I would have with her before the darkness took me back.
“I love you, Mandi.” I kissed the top of her head.
Dark eyes gazed up at me. Red lips moved slowly as she spoke the familiar words again. “Don’t you die on me, Marcelli.”
Her voice echoed in my mind, growing louder.
“Do you hear me, Nic? Don’t you dare die on me!”
With a push, I opened my eyes and stared up into the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen, eyes that followed me, even when they were angry, eyes that always held love for me. I opened my mouth to speak and winced at the pain the movement caused. I took a breath, braving the pain, gasping as I spoke.
“You’ll...go...out...with me?”
“Yes, you silly man,” her voice sque
aked. Her voice began to fade as I felt the darkness come after me again. And for a brief moment, it came to a standstill when she mentioned something about the laundry.
“Pink boxers.” I smiled as she talked. I wanted to hold onto her voice. But I was losing. I could feel it. I couldn’t leave her. Not yet. She had to know.
“Mandi.” I struggled to open my eyes again. Finally, there they were, those beautiful, dark eyes. “I love you.”
Then the shadow’s arms gently wrapped around me, pulling me back into the abyss. And as I drifted, all I could hear was the thumping of my heart and Mandi’s sweet voice lulling me to sleep.
“I love you. Please, Nic, I can’t live without you. You’re my life. Come back to me. Please.”
She still loves...me.
Thump, thump.
I...didn’t...lose her.
Thump, thump.
She...loves...
Thump, th—
ELEVEN: Mandi
“NOOOOOO!”
The scream ripped out of my throat as Nic’s eyes fluttered shut and his body went limp.
“Nic! Nic!” I shook him gently at first and then harder when he didn’t respond. “Nic!”
He’s not dead. He’s NOT dead!
“Wake up, Nic! Wake up!” The world started spinning as I begged him to come back to me. I threw myself onto his chest, pleading for him to forgive me, promising that I’d never leave his side ever again. The words came out in gasps as I struggled to breathe.
“Move aside, ma’am.” A pair of strong hands lifted me off him.
“No!” I screeched at the paramedic as he tried to move me to the side. I pounded against the man’s back as he and his partner hovered over Nic.
“Let them work on him, Mandi.” Julian took hold of my arm, dragging me away from them.
With a loud crack, I slapped Julian, hating the very sight of him. He was taking me away from Nic again. He was not going to do this to me. Not again.
“Fuck off!” I shoved him away and tried to run back to Nic. When he grabbed me by the waist, I beat against his beefy arms, screaming, “Nic! Nic!”
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