Merciful Vows: A Novel
Copyright © 2020-2021 by Vanessa Luisa
Published by VL Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or by any other electronic or mechanical methods, including information storage and retrieval systems, without the prior written permission of Vanessa Luisa, except for the use of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
NOTE: This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this publication are fictitious and are all products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events or locations is purely coincidental.
The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of various products, brands, and/or restaurants referenced in the work of fiction which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Merciful Vows:
Cover design by Tash Drake—Outlined with Love Designs
Edited by Kristen Portillo—Your Editing Lounge
Proofread by Gemma Woolley—Gem’s Precise Proofs
Formatted by Stacey Blake—Champagne Book Design
Copyright © 2020-2021, VL Publishing. All rights reserved.
www.vanessaluisa.com
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT
AUTHOR’S NOTE
DEDICATION
EPIGRAPH
PREFACE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
EPILOGUE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dear readers,
Firstly, Merciful Vows is a full-length standalone novel set in The Giannotti World. It is the first novel in the inter-connected series and therefore it’s recommended you begin here first to gather context and understanding, and then follow on to read the proceeding novels in the inter-connected series.
As a romance book lover, I have always reached the end of the novel and grinning ear-to-ear at the epilogue. But then one day, during one of the darkest times of my life, a question arose in my mind…I became intrigued by the idea of what happens when the epilogue doesn’t always go to plan…and so I wrote this suspenseful, emotional love story.
Merciful Vows is a story of two people needing each other more than they need themselves. A story of strength, of vulnerability and of loving without any limits. A story of healing to breathe freely again, of hope to never let go of what truly matters and of second chance to be guided out of the darkness and into the light.
This is a story from my heart, and I give it to you wholeheartedly to take along with you during your own journey in life, wherever you may be.
Because you matter. You really do. All of it is you.
Happy reading!
Vanessa Luisa x
To Mamma,
My love for you is infinite.
To Nonna and Nonno,
Entrambi siete e sarete sempre nel mio cuore e nella mia anima, in tutto ciò che faccio e in tutto ciò che sono. Vi amo entrambi per sempre. Sempre.
“I love her and that’s the beginning and end of everything…”
F. SCOTT FITZGERALD
Six Months Prior
Tuesday, March 1st, 2016
Unknown
Our hidden imperfections say a lot about who we are at the surface. It’s unnerving, the way people simultaneously pace through every day of their lives feeling resolved. Demanding success. Obtaining desires. Uplifting hell.
I know why I did the latter tonight. I know why I kidnapped her. It’s because deep down inside I had a calling. I needed to do this. I needed to ruin the Giannotti family.
They will never know the horrid ticking bombarding inside my chest. My wildly racing heart pumps boiling blood, as if time is running out and my entire life depends on this—because it does.
A few hours have passed since the incident and once Blue Eyes hands me the baby, I bid his exit with a nod. Dark garments contrast against those bright slate eyes that unlock a corrupted world of deception—one I proudly control. A breeze of cold air swirls around the poorly lit room following Blue Eyes’ departure.
As I set Addilyn Giannotti inside the makeshift bassinet in the basement, I realize I actually got away with it. I fucking did it. Best thing of all, they will never know or suspect me. Liars make the best promises.
I drown out Addilyn’s bloodcurdling screams and leave her right there as coldness magnifies through the soles of my shoes at every heavy tread up the concrete stairs. A cold metallic sting ripples across my palms as I grip the railing to steady myself up into the world as I now know it.
The soundproof walls will drown out her tears. The operation undertaken tonight will diminish my identity. The police will never find me. I’ll make sure of it. No one can stop me.
I’ll give it six months. Six long months to wait it out and submerge myself in normal life. Six months to analyze every single movement of the Giannotti family. To watch their grief. Their agony. Their greatest loss become reality.
I want them to break right in front of my eyes. I will raise hell for them and watch it all unfold. I will test their limits. Just like a gripping movie, only this time I am the writer. I am the director. I am the cast and the closing credits. I write the fabricated lies. I direct the intoxicated evil. I hire the assistants. I am public enemy number one and they don’t even know it. They will never be able to escape me, no matter how hard they try.
For six months they will live in my unrest, not knowing if Addilyn is dead or alive. It doesn’t frighten me to do just that. It’s who I am now. So I’ll keep on waiting, writing their story from a distance.
Predicting their every move.
Constructing the epitome of their hell.
Until I go after them too and end it all…for good.
Present Day
Thursday, September 1st, 2016
Giulio
“You can’t stay in there forever! Come out!”
He’s wrong. My father and I both know how long I can withstand his torture. I don’t know how long exactly I have to fight his presence, but I’ll give it my all.
Heavy thumps outside my door carve my heart to stone with every footstep. Through the gap below, I catch an inch of my father’s brown leather shoes. They’re new. He bought them specifically to wear to the funeral.
I despise them.
&
nbsp; I despise him.
“Unlock the door, Giulio!” His rough voice digs another wound in my chest.
“No!”
“I said unlock the door or I’ll do something we’ll both regret.”
I cannot control my pulsing rage. It’s too much. “You already ruined everything! You ruined Mom. You let this happen. You let her die while you were with a woman that wasn’t Mommy. I hate you!”
“You do not get to speak to me like that. I’m going to—that’s it, time’s up.”
My bedroom door bursts wide open and in a flash, my nine-year-old frame is flung into the air. I hit one of the cream walls with a loud thud. My back aches and my hand is scraped, but I don’t say a word. No. I don’t care how much my father hurts me, I will never show him fear. He will never break me. Never
I know that look in my father’s light eyes. The one of utter destruction. The one I see haunting my dreams every single night. The one my mom stared into and saw nothing but gold. He was different back then. He liked me when Mom was around.
My father’s jaw clenches and alcohol slurs his words. “What? Do you think you’re stronger than me, Giulio? Is that what it is?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Don’t fucking talk back to me.” He crouches beside me with a vengeance, and the lines between his brows deepen. “Listen to me, kid. Your mother’s dead. That doesn’t mean I’m going to be here to pick up the pieces. You’re not my life anymore. I have Clare and we have a child on the way. One that isn’t you. Do you understand?”
Nod.
“I didn’t even want you. I’ve never wanted you.”
Nod.
“Remember that when you cry yourself to sleep like the weak little boy you are. That’s what you are, Giulio. You’re weak. You’ll never be strong.”
Once again my head inclines.
“Stop crying, weak boy.” My father tugs my injured hand towards him. I didn’t see it before, but now I can’t miss it. Argent lighter with his initials. P.G. The warm embers entice and scare me all at the same time. I already know what will happen next, which is why my eyes slam shut and I pray to my mom in heaven. I pray for it all to stop. I wish she was still here instead of the man I’m forced to call my dad.
Please don’t hurt me.
But he does. Of course he does. Why wouldn’t he?
“Open your eyes and face it. Face it like a man, Giulio.”
Tears cascade down my cheeks as the flame licks my skin. It taunts my palm and curls up until my knuckles endure the brunt of the pain. The intense heat builds rapidly until I’m squirming against the wood oak floorboards. My father never allows it to go beyond the point of scarring or burning me severely, but it does blemish my skin and ego for days after.
Please, Mom.
Come and save me.
Darkness is all I’m met with. It’s all the nightmares in one. I cannot call out for help because this is supposed to be the man who defends me. The man who loves me. The man that should do anything for me. But ever since Mom died, he’s become the devil she’d always protected me against.
I wait in pain until he’s satisfied enough to let me go. For now.
“You don’t understand how much it hurts me to see your mother every time I look at you. I’m sick of it.” My father grips my jaw, forcing me to bore into those devilish eyes. “It makes me feel as though she’s still here and I don’t want that fucking feeling. Most importantly, I don’t want you. One of these days…I’ll have my way. One of these days you’ll see what I’m capable of. One of these days you’ll despise me more than you do today. Mark my words, Giulio.” And then he’s gone. Leaving me sobbing with an empty heart and no place to call home.
“Daddy!” I look away from the orange tulips to my daughter’s doe eyes. Slonne is pulling on my charcoal slacks with a wolfish grin. “Daddy? Didn’t you hear me?”
Fuck.
How long have I been out of it?
The memory of my father ends in waves. I need to forget about it right here inside this florist, no matter how tight my chest aches. My father will never gain that control over me. He didn’t back then and he won’t right now. That nine-year-old boy has grown into a thirty-two-year-old man. I am not nor have I ever been weak.
“Sorry, darling. What did you say?”
Slonne’s giggle reenergizes me as I lift her into my arms. She matches the sweet, holistic smell of the flowers. “I said the lady asked you a question, silly!”
I arch a playful brow. “Did you just call me silly?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Oh, you’re going to get it now.” I attack my daughter in tickles. Her laugher bounces off the walls and I can’t help but see Valencia in her.
Valencia.
My father’s voice plays in my mind. You don’t understand how much it hurts me to see your mother every time I look at you. I’m sick of it. But unlike my father, I’ll never get tired of seeing my separated wife in my son and daughter’s eyes, no matter the constant agony in my heart.
A shallow breath escapes me as I set Slonne down. She runs off to the back of the store where Oscar is playing with the owner’s slender ginger cat.
I turn to the cashier. “I apologize for earlier. What did you ask me?”
She motions to the deep red bouquet of roses I purchased before zoning out. “No need to apologize. I only asked if it was an anniversary gift. If so, I have some cards to choose from, that’ll sure make your Mrs. happy.”
My Mrs…
I don’t have it in me to admit the truth. That today is an anniversary in itself, but not the one any parent wants to have. Today marks six months since my youngest daughter, Addilyn, was abducted. Six long months with no leads. Six months of hell.
I settle for a courteous smile. “No, thank you. The roses alone will do.”
Oscar groans on the way to my Porsche. “Why did you have to find the flowers straight away? I wanted to stay with Ginger Rodgers!”
Ginger Rodgers? “Huh?”
“Ginger Rodgers.” He blinks innocently with a shrug as I assist him into the backseat. “That was the name of that lady’s cat. It was so cute and fluffy!”
Once the twins’ belts are on, I round the car and slip into the driver’s seat. Those damn roses taunt me as they rest by the passenger seat. “Ginger Rodgers is also an actress famous for films in the late 1930s. That’s why I was confused at first, buddy.”
In the rearview mirror, Slonne’s eyes light up. “An actress? Wow! Was she beautiful?”
“Yes. She was.”
“Like Mom?”
“Nobody will ever be as beautiful as your mother.” I rush a hand over my stubbled jaw and suppress a sigh. “Nobody will ever compare to her.”
And with that, we’re off to Helena, my sister-in-law’s house. The same house Valencia has been living in by choice ever since everything went south. The constant daily reminders of the crime that took place in our Madrona home were too much for her, and I don’t blame her for it, but at the same time I’m giving Tom Hanks a run for his money for being Sleepless in Seattle…literally.
Although the answer may have been long forgotten between Oscar and Slonne, it burns deeply through me. Nobody will ever compare to her. Valencia and I have been separated for five months now, yet she’s still the most beautiful woman I know. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing.
Valencia was my rock. The only person that kept me going when I didn’t think I had it in me. The only person who loved me for me. Fuck, she was my everything.
Stop thinking about her, Giannotti. I’m trying, I tell myself. I’m trying not to think of those perfect hazel eyes and the way she—great, now I can’t stop thinking about her.
A silver Mercedes I noticed when I pulled out of the florist distracts me. It was only seconds ago I pledged to stop thinking about the love of my life, and now I want to return to the thought because the car behind me keeps a suspiciously close distance to mine.
It trails behind me even whe
n I carefully weave through traffic and take the side streets. Is this person following me? I pump on the accelerator and my heart echoes the motion.
My eyes flicker to the twins who talk amongst themselves and then to the car behind us. I can’t make out the features of the person because they’re losing momentum. I think it’s a man. I slow down against the curb of an unfamiliar house and he zooms past me so fast I don’t even catch a glimpse of the plate number.
Shit.
Perhaps it’s all just in my head?
I settle for that because I don’t need any other disturbances tonight. Tonight, after five months, Valencia and I are finally going to have dinner together as a family with Oscar and Slonne.
I flick on my indicator and turn the car around. There’s another way I can get to Helena’s, but whichever way I plan to go doesn’t alleviate the persistent vice on my heart at the thought of seeing Valencia this evening.
I pray tonight runs smoothly. I want us to stop being angry at each other and simply be—even if it’s just for one night. It’s all I want. It’s all she wants too. Sometimes we get so caught up in the notions of life that we forget what we’re fighting for and begin the blame game.
When I founded Notti Designs at twenty-three, I didn’t have the responsibilities I have today. Nine years later, my architecture and interior design company is an award-winning business expanding across the globe. I thought I had my life in control. It was only six months and a day ago when I was a devoted husband to a beautiful woman and a proud father of three. Everything changed when the clock struck March first this year.
I’m not the same man I was before. It’s for the better.
Yet, deep down, my heart of hearts calls me a liar.
I ignore it.
Valencia isn’t only my wife—she was my best friend, the mother of our children, and the only family I know besides them. I can’t be any more damn serious when I say I still can’t live without her and our children. Even now—I can’t. They give everything purpose. I should have never taken our unconditional love for granted.
Merciful Vows: A Bittersweet Second Chance Romantic Suspense (The Giannotti World Book 1) Page 1