I need to look away and remove myself from this situation. Not because I’m entirely uncomfortable, but because of Giulio. He knows his employees better than me and if he found it right to defend me, I know better than to press it further. Giulio knows something I don’t and that’s enough to have me escape Bryce’s hypnotic gaze.
“Giulio, is there anything else I can do for you?”
He appears so consumed in his own thoughts that he misses my question completely. He’s watching Bryce James McCarson so intently that I’m left baffled as to why he would hire somebody like him in the first place when it’s evident that he can’t stand him. Then it hits me…I’m also his employee and I don’t exactly see eye to eye with him either.
I reach for the door handle for the second time. “Giulio?”
Nothing.
“Don’t worry, I’ll say it for him…” McCarson winks and goes on to click his tongue. When he lowers into his seat, his left arms bridges over the back of it, purposely widening his broad shoulders. “That’ll be all for now, babe.”
Valencia
“There’s not enough Prosecco to celebrate you going into day two working at Notti Designs!”
“It’s a full bottle, Helena!”
“And when has that seriously ever been enough?” My sister grins, pouring two tall glasses. “You deserve it! There aren’t many women out there that’ll willingly work with their separated husbands. Especially with the lurking turbulence of the abduction.”
I swallow down some of the bubbly aromatic wine.
Addilyn.
Her name alone offsets the beading tension in my body. I had been okay during our Spin class this morning after taking the kids to school early, but fear always set in during the early morning and overnight. Anxiety doesn’t let me sleep, and when I do, I wake up in hot sweats, shivering in panic attacks and gripping my pillow for comfort. What hurts is it’s never a dream that brings it on—it’s reality. My baby girl is facing this cruel world alone and it tears me apart knowing I can’t do a single thing.
“I just hope it helps the dynamic between Giulio and I. Yesterday was a good day. It made me think back to when everything was okay. It was as if we were…at peace with the world.”
Helena sinks into the couch beside me, her hazel eyes sparkling. We share our mother’s full, plump lips, and our father’s hazel eyes. Her light honey brown hair with soft, blonde balayage is tied in a low bun. We’re two years apart but that’s never stopped us from growing the strongest bond there is between siblings.
“That’s what I want to hear! I’m proud of what you’re doing. I know it won’t be easy seeing him every day, but when it comes down to the wire, he isn’t a bad person. He always puts you high up on a pedestal.”
“I know. He’s always treated me well. Always. I guess that’s why it hurts that he lost hope so quickly. When Addilyn…you know…I thought we would have time to talk things through. Instead, it only spiraled, argument after argument.”
“I know, honey.”
“I so desperately want the job to simmer everything down.”
“Let’s cheers to that!”
Our glasses clink and I want to be optimistic, I do, but strife eats away in my stomach until all I see is bleakness. Flashbacks of my baby torment me and I play the blame game in my head. I remember Addilyn’s soft reflex smiles, her adorable baby scent, and the lullabies we sang to her. It’s my fault. All my fault. I should’ve checked on her. Should’ve had the baby monitor on. Stress eats away at me, to the point I’m forced to set down my glass to stabilize my numb hands.
Helena sweeps it right up. “You want it?”
“Take it.”
Reaching my hands across towards the fireplace, an odd exhilarating feeling rushes down my spine. I got through yesterday without a single argument with him. That means something to me, because there was once a time where we couldn’t even be in the same room together. Although we’re not perfect, day by day I’d like to think we’re trying to be amicable.
My sister sets down the empty glass. “Remember that year where the storms were horrid and you stayed over while Ben was on duty? Even our electricity went out! I was pregnant with Weston, so you must have been…seventeen? You were studying like crazy because you had that English paper due and hadn’t even made a start on it. Remember that?”
“How could I not! That was the only time I rebelled in my senior year. No wait, I also had an oral presentation in history on the same day!”
“That’s right! In order to remember the script you were telling me all these random facts about ancient Rome. You’ve always been a neurotic organization freak, but I love you for it!” She laughs warmly. “I remember, despite your studying, you were so passionate about making sure I was okay every two minutes. You were worried for the baby and I was like a blackout won’t hurt him!”
I smile at the memory. “And you did the same for me when I was expecting the twins…and then Addilyn. Even when I could manage it myself, you and Giulio became a tag team. When it wasn’t him cooking, it was you coming over to bring us casseroles and sugarless lemon bars.”
“I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, that’s what sisters are for! God, do you remember when we had the world in our hands? As kids, we used to dream of growing up, of love, and having a family. Now that we’re here, all I’m searching for is a pause button.”
“That or a rewind.”
“Yeah, a rewind would be nice.” Helena frowns and leans against the backrest, causing her low bun to droop. “Real nice…”
I so desperately want to pull her into an embrace and tell her that everything will be okay. But how is one supposed to do that when it won’t?
“I dreamed of Ben last night.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I don’t remember it exactly, but just seeing him again was refreshing. Despite how long it’s been since he passed, it feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago all at the same time.”
Consoling Helena on the tragedy that stripped her of Benjamin Holmes seven years ago is like somebody consoling me about the abduction. As much as we appreciate it, it doesn’t matter what is said because the person is still gone and grieving continues.
Helena’s strength during the passing of her husband has always been inspiring. The way she continued to battle on and kept on keeping on, just like her motto. Seven years ago, Helena woke up to a knock on her door that sealed her fate. All it took was one knock and she became a widow at twenty-three years old with her almost four-year-old son in the blink of an eye. A week later, she found out she was expecting Daisy.
Ben Holmes was a firefighter and died in his line of duty. Helena Holmes is the toughest woman I know. She’s passionately dedicated with a bubbly and sarcastic charm. But deep down, I know her past still haunts her, even if she doesn’t always talk about it.
Helena’s always there for everybody. When I was expecting Addilyn, Giulio and I used to stay over at this exact house with the twins and babysit my niece and nephew just so she could get a few hours to herself. Our parents help her out too, but I always worry what’s happening beyond those sarcastic remarks and her giddy attitude.
I would do anything for Helena.
The way she has supported me these last few months…I can’t thank her enough. We’ve been each other’s rocks since day one. She made me realize I’m not alone in this, that she’ll always be here for me, as I’ll always be for her.
“Ben sees everything up there and he would be so proud of you for raising Daisy and Weston.” Our fingers intertwine and I pull her closer. “For your strength which inspires me to be better. For every single thing. I’m extremely proud of you too. You do so much for us. You deserve to find that happiness again.”
The fireplace’s glowing eruption of heat is mirrored in Helena’s glassy eyes. They water and overflow when her hands loosen in my grip and instead, she embraces me. I hold her tightly, both of our agonies blurring into one. My sister’s warmth provides me t
he strength to acknowledge it’s okay to be vulnerable, right here, alongside her.
It is okay.
“And so do you. We’ve been through enough suffering. You deserve the world, Lencia.”
“I feel as though I’m back in high school with these lunch dates!”
“Tell me about it! I’m getting the flashbacks already.” Kayla laughs as she pulls up a seat by my desk and plops her sandwich down. “Sad thing is, this used to be my exact lunch order.”
I draw the coffee to my lips but don’t take a sip yet. Instead, I grin. “Some things just don’t change, right?”
“Right! Just like my crush on my eleventh grade history teacher, Mr. Estevan. He was so young and handsome and ah! Anyway, guess who comes rolling into the office a couple months back? Yep, you guessed it…Estevan! He was there with his wife. I was so shocked when he recognized me. He’s still the same sexy mother fuc—”
“Now, now Kayla, where did the professionalism slip off to?” Bryce’s Cockney accent rumbles down the hall. He’s venturing our way, beaming as his gaze moves between us. “Did it run off with this Estevan to the Maldives? Or better yet…to Timbuktu?”
“You are so aggravating!” Kayla teases.
“Aggravating? Well, I guess that’s better than intolerable. Innit right, Valencia?”
I set down my coffee cup and lean forward, not expecting him to sit on the edge of my desk. Bryce lowers his head so we’re inches apart and those green eyes bore into mine. “Uh…”
“Ya scared to come to the lunchroom and hit me in the head with something else?”
Kayla jumps in before I have the chance. “Congratulations. You’ve just upgraded yourself to intolerable!”
“Nahhhh.” A chuckle escapes Bryce as he elongates the word with his breath. “Valencia, tell her I’m not as intimidating as I seem. Ya do believe that, right? Or ya think I’m a bad guy?”
“Well, Mr. McCarson I don’t know enough about you.”
“Oh? So ya think I’m bad?”
“I never said—”
“Uh-ah” He draws a cold finger down the center of my lips to silence me. That permanent smirk deepens into a full blown smile. “See, there’s a thing you’ll get to learn about me; I’m a stirrer so don’t take offense to anything I say. I’m only playing, but right now you’re looking at me with eyes that tell me you are intimidated by me. Why? Do I scare ya?”
Scare me?
This man doesn’t scare me. Sure, Bryce may be intimating, but it’s just that I’ve never crossed somebody like him before. It’s my second day working with him and I still can’t figure him out. There’s something in the way he strings his words together that feels as though a wall is coming up and it becomes harder to zone into who he really is.
“I’m not scared,” I openly admit when his finger glides away. “I just don’t know you.”
Bryce stares into the distance and for a moment his composure drops. “Not many people do. Not many people want to know.”
“I do.”
“Why?”
Why?
The question stumps me because even though it’s a straightforward one, I can’t help but notice the change in his demeanor. Apart from his tense shoulders, his entire body seems on edge now. The ‘why?’ he muttered seconds ago wasn’t in that usual cheerful tone, it was rough and toxin laced.
Kayla shrugs it off and motions for me to forget it.
I almost do.
“Because we’re working together and it would be nice to get to know you on a professional level.”
“Mmmm, a lot of people that are a part of my life come and go. They don’t stay for long, not because they try and run, but because I don’t let them.” His looks to me now with furrowed brows. “So, when ya told me that you don’t know a lot about me, ya didn’t overstep. You got it right because even those who claim they know me, don’t.”
“Bryce, stop torturing the poor woman.” Marcus walks past us, stopping short of his office door. “It’s enough she has to work with Giulio, she doesn’t need to deal with you too.”
The interruption is enough to snap McCarson out of his trance and just like that the smirk returns and his body eases when he stands to his full height. “Aye, don’t defend the new girl. She’s got her own boxing gloves.”
“And they’re on tight.” I wink over at Marcus who throws his head back in laugher.
“Damn, okay girl. Remind me not to get on your bad side, like never.”
“Or mine!” Kayla adds in perfect song.
I smile. It’s nice to finally see Marcus again.
Bryce looks between us. “See, I wasn’t intolerable. Was I, Valencia?”
“Perfectly harmless.”
“Yes, harmless. I like you already.” With a salute, McCarson fist bumps Marcus and strides down the hall.
Kayla points her coffee at the Englishman. “Definitely the class clown back in high school.”
“Nah, babe.” Bryce halts in his tracks and turns back to the group. “Firstly, back in Hoxton, we called it college. Secondly, I was the school charmer. Everybody and their mothers…which did happen on occasion.”
My jaw drops. “You did not.”
“Oh, yes I did.”
Marcus clears his throat. “Alright, I don’t need to hear more. Get out of here!”
“Those who tell ya to leave are often the ones who need ya the most in the end. I’ll let ya all ponder on that while I make my exit. Don’t miss me too much.”
“Un-fucking-likely.”
“One day you’re gonna love me, Marcus. One day.”
Well, that was certainly something.
Marcus waits until it’s only the three of us before speaking. “He can be an asshole at times. Ignore it. There’s a good side to him too. Now, aren’t you going to give your best and only brother-in-law a hug?”
The air is sucked out of me at the title.
I appreciate Marcus and Giulio look almost nothing alike. It would be difficult for me if they did. At twenty-three-years-old, Marcus is nine years younger. Their eyes are their greatest difference with Giulio’s being lighter. Marcus’ dark hair is thick with a slight wave and since all the years I’ve known him, he’s always been clean shaven.
Kayla dramatically huffs at our embrace. “I swear men are ruining my life. Give me the lunch hour with her!”
“Don’t be greedy.” He smiles. “Valencia, how are you finding working for the boss man?”
“It’s been…tough, but I’m glad I made the decision.”
“I’m glad he thought of it. Anyway, I have a lunch meeting in ten. Catch you later.”
Kayla points her coffee at Marcus’ door once he’s out of earshot. “He’s got a point. I’m glad you made the right decision too.”
Warmth works over the violently intense blues. “So am I.”
“Now, let’s finally dig into some lunch!”
“Not yet. Sorry, I have to steal Valencia for a minute.” Giulio brushes past me when I circle my desk to sit down. I’m instantly flooded with his elegant masculinity and that citrus aroma with a hint of spice—for the first time in months, it’s comfort. He continues his walk undeterred and softly murmurs. “My office.”
“Do I need to bring anything?”
“Just yourself.”
Kayla groans. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Giannotti!”
I throw her a sympathetic look and promise tomorrow’s lunch will be without any interruptions. Perhaps we could go back to yesterday’s café.
Once at his office door, I brush over my teal blouse and leather pencil skirt. Inside, Giulio leans back in his leather chair. It’s his throne and the birthplace of all business deals and intimate discussions. The latter is why I’m here. I know it. Burning inside me is the curiosity to unravel his intentions. I set it aside for a moment because there’s something else on my mind.
“How long has Bryce McCarson worked here?”
“About four months.” Giulio watches me intently. Those
azure, gray eyes have my heart skipping a beat. “Why do you ask? Has he said or done something to upset you? If he has, I’ll speak to him right this second.”
“Oh no, Bryce hasn’t done anything. I’m just curious, that’s all.” My hands squeeze the back of the leather chair adjacent to his desk. “I mean, I could be wrong but I get the feeling you loathe him.”
“Marcus hired him without my approval or consent. Don’t ask me how or why because I truly don’t know, but…I can’t get rid of him. Trust me, I tried. There’s just…something about Bryce I don’t trust. His morals are catastrophic and he regularly flounders client briefs.”
“Perhaps you can develop his skills?”
“That isn’t my job.”
“True but my crash course came just over twenty-four hours ago.”
Giulio shakes his head. “You’re different and you’re successful in your duties. I went through everything with him once and he wasn’t even listening. You’re not like that. You’re acing it.”
Acing it.
No matter how much I try to ignore his compliment, it comes back in crashing waves. It ripples through me and just when I think it’s about to seep into my chest, I reject it, but my heart doesn’t.
“Well, I hope you two eventually find a common ground. Thank you for protecting me yesterday by the way. Bryce may have been a little too eager, but I can manage myself too.”
“I know you can, Valencia. I just don’t want him getting the wrong idea, that’s all.”
I let my gaze roam over every inch of Giulio as the tips of his lips raise into an asymmetrical smile. I see my past, present, and future in him. I blink, unable to run away from what we had—from what we have—do we still have something?
A voice echoes in my head. He is perfectly imperfect for me now.
Concentrate.
I clear my throat. “You called me in for something?
Giulio nods slowly. “You can sit down.”
“I prefer to stand.”
“Okay.” He studies me without the shame of looking away and that drowns me in fateful water. His stare is long, meticulously outlining every one of my poised features. “I know this isn’t the place to discuss it, but it’s been in my head all day. One of the terms we agreed on regarding our separation was that we would remain honest and open, yes?”
Merciful Vows: A Bittersweet Second Chance Romantic Suspense (The Giannotti World Book 1) Page 8