“Giulio, I don’t know if it will work.”
It’s something we used to do whenever I had panic attacks throughout our marriage. They happened rarely but increased to frequent after the abduction and even more after my diagnosis. Before our separation, Giulio advised me to think about an ocean and everything going on there. It was a tough solo mental game, but it helped.
“We can only try.”
“It’s a calm day.” I start, well aware of the air caught in my throat. “There’s a boat in the distance. A few actually, but I can only see one clearly. It’s the closest.”
When my breaths crash, Giulio responds by letting go of his right hand and slips it through my hair. Just like old times when he played with it, easing me. “What type of boat?”
“I’m not good with boats…”
“Whatever comes to mind.”
“A sailboat.”
“Can you see the sailor?”
“Umm.” I try to think. “Yes. A middle-aged man.”
“Glasses?”
“No.”
“What’s his flaw?”
“He can’t work a compass correctly.”
Giulio’s chuckle electrifies me. It produces a long awaited smile on my lips. “I love that answer. What do you like most about your ocean?”
“The serenity.” My lungs contract and steady in a space of tranquility. I’m grateful as the tension leaves my shoulders. When I my eyes flutter open, heaviness is still persistent, but the burning sensation has lifted from my unsettled body. I wipe at my wet cheeks. “I think I’m okay now. Thank you.”
He helps me to my feet and to the guest chair next to his desk. “You don’t need to thank me, darling.”
There it is again—Darling.
Giulio exits his office and returns with a glass of water for me. The cold, refreshing liquid soothes my throat. When he sits on his leather seat, the one I occupied earlier, he folds the letters back into their envelopes.
“What time is it?”
“Just after one-thirty. Do you know what time it was when you passed out?” Giulio’s gaze flickers from mine to our wedding photo, and the blood drains from my face.
Shit. I never faced it back down!
He doesn’t physically react and that only makes me wonder what he’s thinking.
“I came into the office just after midday, so sometime after that. Bryce stepped into the elevator after me and apologized, however when I didn’t accept it he began disrespecting you. I couldn’t tolerate it any further and got worked up. The letters made it worse and I went into shock.” My voice cracks. “I’m sorry.”
I cannot believe I fell asleep and had a panic attack here.
Giulio frowns. “Did he touch you?”
“No, but I did slap him.”
I don’t anticipate his crooked smile and the wicked amusement in it. “Woah, hold up. Wait a minute. You did? Only one time?”
“Yes, I don’t know what I was thinking…I just got so worked up.”
“Valencia, you’ve just made my day! What did he say? Why did you stop at one?”
And so I tell Giulio everything, along with my greatest concerns of all; Oscar and Slonne. We can’t go to the police which means we’re all alone in this and the probability of something happening to the twins is high. SPD stated it months ago. If Addilyn’s abduction is a targeted attack and the abductor knows who we are, it might be only a matter of time. On the other hand, this could be a case of mistaken identity or simply a sickened mind.
This is the issue with The Window Case being cold. There have been no leads in six months, not until right now with the letters. To me, they carry the hope that if this is the kidnapper sparking communication, the possibility of Addilyn returning to us could be a reality.
But can Giulio and I do this without SPD?
No. Of course we can’t.
Yet we have to.
“Kayla said they were with the rest of the company mail. The words are printed and there’s no indication of any other clues. That does not give us much intel.”
I oppose the idea circulating my mind. “What if this is some sick hoax? Most people in Seattle are familiar with the case, right? Hypothetically, what’s to say somebody out there who knows about our situation, knows that we’re vulnerable and wants to place unnecessary stress in the mix of everything else?”
“It’s a possibility. God, at this stage there are so many possibilities.”
“Too many. Now we even have to stay tight lipped about the letters.”
“It’s our only choice at this stage. We’re bound by this now.” The lure in our stare that soon shifts to longing has us both look away. He lets out a forced cough, noticeably affected. “Are we not?”
I prolong our avoided gaze.
“Yes, of course we are.” My chest aches at the thought somebody is playing us. Their cruel intentions make me numb. “I need to revise my will, don’t I?”
“No. Last night I told you how it will go down.”
“It’ll go down how they intend for it to go down. We’re not in control. We’re the prey in their game. Their eyes could be on us this very minute. They may know the kid’s school and lurk. They may even have Addilyn!”
“One thing at a time, Valencia. Deep breaths.”
I try. I will not cry. Not again. Not with him here.
Valencia, you are next.
Giulio, you’re not far behind.
But before all, it’s you both.
“Hey, you alright?”
I take advantage of the way Giulio’s hot eyes are already on mine and respond to his concern with a brief nod, but he isn’t convinced that I’m okay even when I vocalize it.
We don’t break eye contact…
Not when he stands and smooths out his slacks.
Not when he rounds his desk.
Not when he drops down on one knee in front of me. It brings back memories. He knows. Of course he knows what it does to me, otherwise he wouldn’t urge his gentle hand to my chin and slowly turn it so that I fixate on him.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to our twins or you. I may not be able to promise you many things, but I can promise you this.”
I break at the rapid reminder of everything Giulio wants to push past. “And Addilyn?”
We can’t get through this.
“Valencia, I’d like you to take it easy today.”
My falling concern is not even taken into the equation. It’s completely ignored. My cry for help means nothing. He still doesn’t believe it. He doesn’t believe me or in me. “Please answer me.”
“Addilyn will always have a place in my heart. She will always be a piece of me. A piece of you.” The pad of his thumb brushes my earlobe, down my jaw, and curls at the center of my lips. Those eyes I promised my entire life to scan my features one by one. “As much as we want to, we can’t bring her back. Not after all this time. I can’t promise her fate and I’m sorry that I can’t. I wish I could, but I can promise you Slonne and Oscar’s. I can promise yours.”
And I will promise yours, Giulio.
I barely know who I am within this moment, let alone the wild thoughts running through my mind—but they’re there. They blossom when his eyes fall to where I’m biting my lip. It seems as though Giulio is wedged in a place between reality and fiction. I feel it. Oh, what I would do to crawl into that mind and rearrange the puzzle pieces I identify as my husband. I want him to be on my team. I thought that maybe the letters would provide some refuge to the tension between us. Now, I acknowledge they have only intensified our broken hearts and shattered beliefs.
“Have you eaten lunch?” I ask, changing topics.
Giulio blinks and swallows as he comes to. His response to being caught red-handed lost in thought has me bite the inside of my cheek. It’s hard to look at a man who has changed so much, yet at the same time is the same in your mind.
“Yes, I ate before coming back here. I have an in-house meeting at two. Have you eaten
?”
“No.”
“Buy some lunch and take the rest of the day off. You should be resting.”
“I know,” I say flatly. His touch leaves mine, yet close proximity remains. We’re inches apart when he asks me softly in parting. “You scared me back there. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes, I’m okay now. Thank you.”
Back at my desk, I need something to set me free. I know exactly what…a strong ginger tea. Yes. Again.
Voices chattering surround me in the Starbucks waiting area. After purchasing a sandwich, my eyes fall behind the shoulders of a man in a power suit flipping through The Seattle Times. An article’s title catches my attention, forcing a gasp to slither down my throat.
The man glances over with a screwed up face. “Can I help you with something?”
“Oh my god!”
“Lady, I said is there something I can help you with?”
He probably assumes I’m a weirdo. Maybe I am…shut up. “May I kindly see that paper?”
He stares for a long moment, shrugs, and hands it to me. “I guess so. It’s always the same things in here anyway.”
I grab my ginger tea just as it’s called and bolt. The man calls out behind me, telling me I can’t steal the newspaper but I can’t control my mind. My heels are daggers against the pavement and my blood pumps nothing but heartache.
Once inside Notti Design, I opt against the crowded elevator and take the stairs two at a time. Adrenaline crawls so deep Lee must notice because he doesn’t even attempt to stop me. My mind fills with compulsive voices I’ve heard over and over for the past months. The ones that led to my separation.
It can all change now.
This is the clue I’ve been waiting for!
I press my elbow down to open the boardroom door and stumble inside. Just then, my left heel slides against the shiny concrete, my balance weakens, and I overcorrect to prevent myself from falling. Tea spills onto the floor, my blouse, and ends of my hair. The sandwich compressed in its protective container flies across the room, missing the head of a businesswoman by inches.
Shocked expressions duplicate in the men and women who surround the oak desk. Giulio is the only one who stands as I brush myself off and rush to his side, at this point stumbling with one heel off.
This is so not a good look.
The newspaper is partly soaked from the warm beverage, but I’m lucky it missed the article completely. “You have to see this. You have to!” I insist, slapping the paper on his desk.
Giulio takes one look at my wide eyes and turns to his associates. “Please excuse me for a moment. Lance, continue and brief me later.” Giulio grips the newspaper and I retrieve my heel before he escorts me outside with his hand laced in mine.
Preoccupation outlines his previously composed façade when we come to a halt. “What’s going on, Valencia?”
“Look!” I plead, letting go of his hand to continue whirling through the pages with each turn more violent. “They say there is a new lead in the case! They say somebody saw her, read this! Please Giulio, read this!”
Thursday, 17th September 2016
NEW LEAD—THE POSSIBLE SIGHTING IN THE WINDOW CASE:
The investigation of missing two-month-old Addilyn Giannotti is predicted to resume following Seattle Police increasing their reward to $20,000 for information on the disappearance. The infant was abducted from her nursery window on March 1st, 2016 from her parents’ Madrona home and has been missing for six months. Seattle Police also recently released an updated computer-generated sketch of how Addilyn, who would be eight months old now, would look today.
Security cameras were active at the time, catching a masked intruder unlawfully forcing her window open while her mother, Valencia Giannotti, and close family were in the front yard. The intruder was seen rushing Addilyn to a get-away car moments after Mrs. Giannotti and close family entered. Father, Giulio Giannotti, the successful founder of leading architecture and interior design company Notti Designs, was in London at the time.
Nobody is yet to be arrested or identified for the crime.
Yesterday afternoon, a witness on her daily walk passed an infant with a unique identifying birthmark similar to Addilyn’s being held by a young woman. The witness slowed to converse, but the woman began to act suspiciously. Seattle Police are adamant to speak to the young woman and call on the public’s help to locate her. She is described as Caucasian, early twenties, with short, blonde hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a white sweater and jeans at the time. Security cameras within the area have been checked, but no clear images have been found and no further leads have been made. The witness, who does not want to be identified, filed a police report early this morning.
Anybody with any information concerning the whereabouts of Addilyn Giannotti or on the possible sighting is urged to contact Sergeant Steve Flynn or their local SPD precinct.
This is our life. Something Giulio and I have been struggling with for so long, but this right here is reaffirmed hope—something that is set to heighten my farfetched efforts.
In late March I stopped watching the news and had to refrain from searching her name. It was too overwhelming. I know SPD would contact either Giulio or me with any new information which is why it surprises me that they didn’t regarding this.
“Just because there was a possible sighting doesn’t mean it was actually Addilyn. This doesn’t mean anything. The witness account is lacking and they still have no leads.”
“But don’t you see? The letters and now this. This is fresh hope for us!”
Giulio works his jaw and looks to the side. He provides no comfort in carrying my heavily weighted heart. I know it isn’t his job to console me, but any form of encouragement would help me in this fragile and delicate moment.
“Valencia…we still don’t know if the letters are legitimate or a hoax. There’s still no hope, only further unsettling uncertainty.”
I shake my head at his refusal. “Let’s go to the precinct and ask about this article. They may know more. Even if it’s a little thing they failed to publish, maybe they can give us something else.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
“Why? It’s the right thing to do. Giulio, please listen to me. It could be her. Somebody saw her. Somebody saw our baby girl and the police didn’t even contact us! They didn’t even call!” My urgency has me grasp the paper tighter. “Let’s go to them. Maybe they have something tha—”
“They called me.”
What?
No.
He wouldn’t do this.
He wouldn’t hide this.
The air is pressed from my lungs by the heavy weight of betrayal in my chest. “Pardon?”
Giulio can’t avoid my gawking expression any longer. “They called me early this morning with the news. You were still asleep. The description the witness gave isn’t strong enough to confirm the sighting, however the police can’t rule it out just yet. After the call ended, as you already know they’re obligated to call your cell too because with our legal separation we’re considered separate parties…They called you, but I…I answered because I didn’t want to wake you up early after last night. I told Sergeant Flynn it wasn’t a good time…that you’d call them back, because…I wanted to tell you first.”
“How did you expect me to call them back if you didn’t tell me about the call in the first place? When you dropped me off at Helena’s I checked my recent call list in case I missed out on anything, there was nothing from SPD. Did you delete it from the list?”
“Valencia, I…yes.”
“Why would you do that?” I screech, “When were you going to tell me about the call?”
His silence says it all.
When we separated we made a promise to never hide anything. For the sake of our kids, we would remain amicable to not jeopardize their memory of their parents’ rapport. Even though at times we’ve fallen off track, there was never this.
Giulio has never dece
ived me like this before.
He has never hidden something this big from me.
Just last week I told him about the car parked in front of Helena’s house after our fight on Addilyn’s anniversary. The same one he confessed he saw of a similar description follow him from the florist. We agreed to contact SPD if it happened again.
Giulio broke our promise. He shattered my glimmer of hope. He stopped it all for me.
“How could you not tell me? I am her mother! I deserved to know!”
“I didn’t tell you sooner because of this exact reason. I don’t want you feeling this false hope. We have to face reality. We have to move forward and that can only be done without distractions of potentially false leads.”
“Don’t tell me things like that! My daughter—”
“Our daughter.”
“Our daughter will return to us. You should have told me they called. Is this why you’re so lenient with me? Why you took care of me and held me? Why you allowed me to stay the night and teased me this morning with that damn honey? Why you mended my panic attack? Was it all out of guilt?” Anger laces my every word because I’m so sick of people concealing the truth and deciding what’s best for me behind my back. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. You…you know this hope is what I crave and you suppressed it, pretending nothing happened. I bet you felt bad for me and thought all of what I just said could make up for it. You should have known better.”
Giulio’s lack of response is all I need.
Whatever passionate desire we had for each other this morning has fizzled out. Good. This explains everything. It was all out of guilt because he knew about this new clue and didn’t tell me anything.
When I picked up that wedding photo earlier, I felt something. Now I feel nothing. There was so much love within his eyes back then. Those piercing, bluish-gray eyes can’t even look at me now. They no longer hold the same warmth and richness. They are tired, owned by a broken man, looked at by a broken woman.
There’s no reassurance, only a disconnection.
The memory lingers like a bitter aftertaste. I find it hard to believe that standing in front of me is the same man I married in Fiji. That we are the same couple who vowed to face any challenge life threw at us together. That we’d ‘always find our way back to each other.’
Merciful Vows: A Bittersweet Second Chance Romantic Suspense (The Giannotti World Book 1) Page 15