Lauren and Berkeley both hit my ears at the same time. “Give him a chance,” Lauren advises.
Berkeley says, “The word is, he hasn’t been with anyone at all since that night.”
“How nice. I’ve heard this from both of you before. I’m not deaf, you know.”
“Hey, Sam. Ladies.” Trevor flashes his super charming smile.
“Hi Trevor. What’s up?” Berkeley asks.
“Same old, you know. Can I get you all a drink?”
“Sure. Vodka soda double lime, for me, please,” I say. He gets us all drinks, and we stand smushed up together in the crowded space and chat.
At some point, Lauren gives me the thumbs up. So do the others. Then they fade away into the background. Now my nerves hit. Trevor lifts his drink and we toast. I don’t want to be alone with him. I’m not ready for this, because I’m sure he’s going to ask me out.
“To a great rest of the weekend,” he says.
“I’ll drink to that.”
“So what’ve you been doing, Sam? I haven’t seen you around the last couple of weeks.”
“Yeah, I’ve been a little busy. A lot of events.” I feel like fidgeting, but I manage to keep my cool.
“So, business is good then?”
“Yes, it is. And you?”
“You know, summer is my time so I’ve been loving it.”
“That’s great,” I say.
“You look really awesome tonight.” He smiles. His sun-bleached hair and hazel eyes make a perfect match for his megawatt grin. He certainly is gorgeous. But the trust factor weighs heavily on my mind. I still have that image of him twisted up in that other woman’s arms, practically swallowing her tongue. The thought almost makes me gag.
“Thanks,” I say, forcing the image out of my head.
I look up to see him staring at me. His eyes zero in on my mouth, like they always do, and it’s a little unsettling, so I divert his attention by asking him, “Did you come alone?”
“No, do you know my new roommate, Robert?”
“Don’t think so.”
“Oh, well, he’s here somewhere in this crowd.”
Our conversation is a bit stilted, but it could be that it’s so jammed in here.
“Hey, can I take you out to dinner Friday?”
He hasn’t hidden the fact he wants to get back together, but I haven’t hidden the fact that I don’t trust him.
“Um, I don’t know, Trevor.”
“Come on, Sam. It’s been almost a year and it’s just dinner. You have to eat, right? And people change.”
He nudges my shoulder with his own. The teasing tone of his voice and his playful smile has my resolve crumbling. Not to mention I’m such a pushover. Damn it!
“Yeah, I guess. But before I can say it’s a for sure thing, I need to check my work calendar at home because sometimes Friday evenings are booked with events. And don’t take this any other way than just a meal between friends, okay?”
“Yes, just a meal.” He seems sincere.
“Can I text you tomorrow?” I ask.
“Most definitely.”
Oddly, as I watch him, a picture of a messy-haired gray-eyed god standing next to a display of honeydews pops into my head. Where the hell did that come from? I give my head a firm shake.
“Sam?” Trevor is clicking his fingers in front of my face. “You with me here?”
“Oh, sorry. I had a momentary brain lapse. It was a really crazy week and I was in the sun all day. You know how that goes.”
“Sure. And alcohol isn’t helping either, no doubt. Hey, you aren’t driving tonight, are you?”
“Oh, heck no. I’m a passenger in the Mitchell’s golf cart.” I laugh.
“Huh?”
I explain this one. “I’m staying with Lauren at her parents’ house here on Sullivan’s and we brought their golf cart.”
“Oh, right. But still, be careful. They can ticket you even in that thing.”
“Yeah, I know. But Mr. Mitchell said they would come and get us if we needed a pick up.”
“Lucky you. Oh, to be spoiled by parents like that.” He grins.
I make a face and squeak, “I know. And we seriously do not take it for granted.”
“That’s good.”
“So, another round?”
“Sure, and do you mind if we hunt down my friends?”
“Not at all.” Trevor buys me another drink but not one for himself. I notice and mention it to him.
“Yeah, I’ve cut back on the stuff. After what happened when, well, you know, I decided that this,” and he holds up his bottle, “had taken the best from me and I wasn’t going to let that happen again.”
“Oh, well, that’s good.” But then I have to wonder if he’s doing it for show. Again, there’s the trust thing.
Berkeley is easy to locate. She’s standing right in front of the band, dancing and singing like a groupie. She’s throwing off all kinds of signals to the drummer that she’d be a willing partner if he’d give the go ahead. The way he keeps checking her out, I’d say he’s interested. I hope she doesn’t end up hooking up with him tonight. That could be a little awkward in the morning, trying to explain it to Lauren’s mother.
The rest of the gang are scattered. The night wears on and at one point, when I’m coming out of the bathroom, an arm snags me, pulls me around the dimly lit corner and I find myself being kissed. I’ve no doubt it’s Trevor, his lips and mouth still familiar all these months later, but why am I picturing a dark-haired sinfully sexy stranger instead?
“Mmm, that was nice.”
“Trevor, that went beyond what I consider just friends.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been dying to do that forever.”
I blow out a frustrated breath.
“I take it I’ve just blown my hopes of any chance with you,” he says.
“To be honest, I don’t know what to think. Every time I look at you, an image of you and that girl pops into my head.”
“Can’t you let that go? I have. That was only a drunk moment. It was nothing.”
“But that’s just it. It was something. To me. And I worry it’ll happen again.”
He picks up my hands. “It won’t. I’ll never do anything to risk losing you again.”
I shrug. “Let’s drop it.”
“Will you still consider Friday, then?”
I nod. “I’ll text you tomorrow. I’m staying out here, but I’ll check as soon as I get home.”
“Sounds cool. And thanks, Sam.”
I watch as he walks away and any number of women would be drooling and chasing after him. Why not me?
Later that night, Berkeley, who I’m glad came home with us, Britt, Lauren, and I all sit at the counter in the Mitchell’s kitchen, eating and drinking. All the girls start quizzing me about Trevor. But the big question is about us going to dinner. When I drop the bomb, they all give me hell.
“What do you mean you don’t know if you want to go out with him?” Lauren practically yells.
Sticking my finger over my lips, I say in a very loud whisper, “Hush! You’re going to wake your parents!”
“I don’t care. You’ve wanted him to come crawling back, telling you how sorry he was for how long now? And now that he has, you say you’re not sure if you even want to go? What the hell, Sam?”
I groan, “That’s not exactly true. I’ve always said I wished he would crawl back and say he lost the best thing ever. I mean, what girl wouldn’t after catching her guy kissing another woman? And I’ve also said I doubted I could trust him again, but that he was starting to get through my wall. It’s weird, though because when I was coming out of the bathroom, he kissed me, and nothing.”
Berkeley asks, “Whad’ya mean, nothing?”
“I felt nothing at all. It was like kissing the wall. Or my stuffed koala bear.”
Lauren answers me. “You don’t even have a stuffed koala bear.”
“Well, if I did, that’s what it would’ve felt lik
e.”
Lauren is quick to reply. “Ugh, you’re so damn picky. You know what? You don’t have a jerk magnet. You’re just too, oh, I don’t know what you are.” Her hands fly up in the air.
Berkeley throws an arm around me. It’s a good thing I’m sitting or it might have knocked me down. “Hey, leave her alone. If she doesn’t like him, she doesn’t like him.”
I stick out my arm, yelling, “Wait! I didn’t say a thing about not liking him. That’s not it at all. I don’t trust him. And now I feel there’s zero chemistry. How can you date someone when there’s no chemistry?”
“Chemistry shemistry. That’s crazy. Chemistry is overrated. That all goes away anyway.” Lauren hops to her feet and stands there, looking convinced of her statement.
“Oh, really? When?” I ask.
“When you both have false teeth sitting in dishes on your bedside tables,” she says.
“Eww! That’s nasty, Lauren! And besides, I brush and floss.” This is the first we’ve heard from Britt. I think she had too many Red Headed Sluts tonight.
“Thanks for that commentary on your dental hygiene, Britt,” I say. She stands up and bows. Oh, God, help me. “So, Lauren, what you’re saying is that chemistry isn’t important. And neither is trust, apparently. I call bullshit on that. How many guys have you dated without either of those?”
“Oh, my. You are getting emotional over this. You even swore and you never swear,” Lauren commented.
“Quit trying to distract me. And yes, I do swear, but not very often. I swear all the time in my head, but you know how my mom is. She would always get after us if we so much as got close to saying a bad word, always wanting Laney and me to be proper young ladies. Now answer the question,” I demanded.
“A ton. You know what I think? I think your Produce God has your thoughts all skewed.”
“Produce God?” Berkeley asks.
“Yes, you know, Whole Foods guy,” Lauren explains.
“Oh, right.” Berkeley says.
“He has not.” I disagree.
“Has too.” Lauren argues.
“Whatever,” I huff. I notice we haven’t heard from Hayley, and when I glance around, it’s no surprise to find her asleep on one of the couches. It’s probably a good thing because I’m sure Happy Hayley would side with Trevor too.
Lauren adds, “If he’s not important, you should go out with Trevor anyway. If it’s not fun, you have a miserable time, or ultimately decide you’ll never ever be able to trust him again, then that can be it. Don’t see him again. At least you tried. If you don’t try, Sam, you might be kicking yourself in the ass. What if Produce God never calls? You don’t even know him.”
Her point is difficult to argue with.
“Okay. I’ll go out with Trevor. Not so much because of what you said. It’s more like if I don’t go, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Lauren jumps out of her seat and yells, “Thank the dating gods, she’s seen the light! Now that we have that settled, there’s one other thing. Have you made your decision yet?”
I let out a long groan. “Noooo. Did my Mom call you again?”
“Yeah, this morning while I drove out here.”
The other girls are quiet.
“Look, I’m not going to say anything other than I wish you’d give it some thought, Sam. Please don’t wait too long,” she pleads.
“I promise I’m not. I have time.”
Lauren offers me a weak smile. “Now Berkeley, tell us all about the guy in the band you practically dry humped on stage. I was worried you’d end up hooking up with him tonight.”
I mentally thank her for the segue as everyone’s focus shifts to Berkeley. Mine has shifted from Trevor to my looming health issue and then I force it quickly back to the image of the produce dude. I’ll be praying to the dating gods he calls me real soon. Because I sure would like to taste a little sample of him. Okay, maybe a big sample.
READ MORE…
SNEAK PEEK
- A Beautiful Sin
#slowburn #forbiddenromance #beautiful
Reviews For A Beautiful Sin
A Beautiful Sin, told from dual POVs, is a beautiful life and love story. It is about dealing with painful pasts of abuse, guilt, and fear and taking control of one's life. The epilogue was my favorite, priceless! ... SueBee, Goodreads Reviewer
5 STARS! It had a unique plot through out the book... this was written in such a way that you could completely forget that you were reading, as you watch the book play out in your head and the character's personalities were well developed... Salsa Proud Book Worm, Goodreads Reviewer
5 STARS! This book is both heart wrenching and hopeful...sad yet healing. Loved it! A Beautiful Sin is a FANTASTIC story filled with pain, regret, blame, but also hope, understanding, and healing. I can always weigh my feelings of a book based on how much I absorb and how much I find myself thinking about it when I'm not even reading. This is one of those books... Allison, The Reading Escapade Book Blog
5 STARS! Such an emotional story of two people struggling with their pasts. One finds their way with God, while the other expresses their way with art. Both finding themselves walking a fine line in which one could lose it all. A story of forgiveness and hope and one that is sinfully delightful and devastatingly beautiful ... Kristie, Love N. Books Reviewer
5 STARS! A breathtaking, gut wrenching, suspenseful, and just overall heart stopping story that keeps you captivated from start to finish!...Kat Grimes, Tsk Tsk What To Read
Begin to read on next page.
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned…
Words I’ve repeated how many times? It doesn’t matter. What matters is the confession that comes now. God and the church are my life, but sometimes we are given choices—choices that are neither good nor evil, but weigh heavily on one’s soul. Mine walks in the form of something so beautiful, she is the temptation I never thought I’d have. Or perhaps she is my salvation, my deliverance from my skeletons, the invisible chains that bind me, the very ones that have constricted my heart for far too long.
Believe me, I have no regrets, but I know I have sinned. When she stepped into my life, I didn’t see how much we would become entangled with one another—or how hard it would be to untangle those bonds. But I must admit the truth to myself, and to God.
This isn’t a love story. For that would go against my vows. Yet the sins we’ve committed could mean the end…or the beginning of everything.
Father, this is my confession…
Fourteen Years Ago
I was a sinner, taught from an early age that I would fall short of perfection. If not by actions, I would eventually succumb to impure thoughts. And what kid my age didn’t have random thoughts that would contradict the laws of God? What I hadn’t known that day was how much of a sinner I was and the price I would have to pay.
“Canaan Michael, get out of bed now! Mass starts in forty-five minutes. You’re going to be late,” Mom shouted.
Blinking my eyes open, I glanced over at the clock and groaned. As much as I loved being an altar server, my bed felt so awesome right then.
“I’m up!” I called out as I threw the comforter off and climbed out of bed. I managed to do the necessary things in only a few short minutes in order to join my parents in the kitchen.
Dad glanced up from where he poured a cup of coffee. “That was fast,” he said. “Want some breakfast?”
“No, sir. Communion, remember?” As Catholics, we needed to fast an hour before we took Holy Communion.
Dad proudly glanced over at Mom. They were used to me spouting off rules of our faith and occasionally scripture, for that matter.
“You have plenty of time. By the time Communion comes, it’ll be way past an hour,” Dad said, patting my shoulder.
I glanced at the clock to check the time. “Okay, I’ll have some toast.”
Mom poured orange juice and milk for me while Dad handled the toast. As soon as it was set in front of me, I scarfed it all down,
and they both laughed.
“What?”
“You act like you haven’t eaten in a month.” Dad shook his head and his tone changed. “If I didn’t know better, I might have thought you were a glutton.”
I nodded, realizing my mistake. “And gluttony is a sin.”
Dad gave me an approving nod.
“Sorry. It’s just that I don’t want to be late. I’m the lead server today.” I took my duties very seriously, more so than any of the other servers.
Dad winked at me. “Gotcha. Well, let’s go then. You ready, Susan?”
Mom smiled and nodded.
We pulled into the church parking lot and I eagerly got out. On my way inside I remembered something. “Oh, before I forget, don’t wait on me afterward. Father O’Brien asked me to help him clean up the sacristy after Mass. I think Sister Rita, the one who usually does it, has been sick. So I said I could help. I’m pretty sure he’ll give me a ride home.”
“Okay. We’ll see you later then. Dinner is at five.”
Not wanting to be late, I hightailed it to the room where the altar servers changed into their robes. While we were getting dressed, Father O’Brien stuck his head in. “Are you still planning to help afterward?”
Some of the other boys gave me curious looks, but I ignored them. “Yes, sir.”
He nodded and left. A few minutes later, we went out to light all the candles before the start of Mass. During the service, I kept my posture straight as I listened to the introduction rites, the Liturgy of the Word, and said all the prayers during the Liturgy of the Eucharist, which I had memorized by heart. My mind drifted a bit as I tried to pinpoint when church had become more than a place my parents hustled me to every week. Every time I entered I felt God within my soul. I never shared this with anyone, except my parents, because I was already the odd man out at school. When you’re fourteen, even in Catholic school, love for the church is fuel for bullying. My parents, along with Father O’Brien, were the only ones who knew how important my faith was to me.
Sidelined: A Wilde Players Dirty Romance Page 22