“Were I free to accept you,” she said, turning to face him, “I would still be hesitant.” She left the my lord off, not wishing to anger him needlessly, but it was there in her tone, and he no doubt heard it.
“What would cause your hesitation?”
“I’m not duchess material, and we hardly know each other.”
“You are as much duchess material as I am duke material,” he countered, “and few titled couples know each other as well as we already do, Anna Seaton. You know I like marzipan and music and my horse. I know you like flowers, beauty, cleanliness, and pretty scents.”
“You know you like kissing me, and I…”
“Yes?”
“I like kissing you, as well,” she admitted on a brittle smile.
“Give me some time, Anna,” he said, the aristocrat stooping to bargain, not the importuning suitor. “You think you’d not make a suitable duchess, and you think we don’t know each other well. Give me the opportunity to convince you of your errors.”
“You want me for a mistress,” she said, “but I will not take your coin.”
“I am asking,” he said with great patience, “the opportunity to gain a place in your affections, Anna. Nothing more.”
Was he asking for an affair? She should refuse him even that, but it was all too tempting.
“I will think about it, though I believe it best if I pursue another position. And no matter what, you mustn’t be seen to embarrass me with your attentions.”
“I will draft you a glowing character,” the earl said, his eyes hooded, “but you must agree to give me at least the summer to change your mind.”
“Write the character.” Anna nodded, heart shattering all over again. “Give it to Lord Valentine for safekeeping, and I will promise not to seek other employment this summer, unless you give me cause.”
“I would not disrespect you, and I would never get a bastard on any woman, Anna.” The earl leveled a look of such frustration at her that Anna cringed.
“Were you to get a bastard on me, we would be forced to wed. I cannot see either of us inviting such circumstances.”
His expression changed, becoming thoughtful.
“So if I were to get you pregnant, you would marry me?”
Anna realized too late the trap she had set for herself and sat on the window seat with a sigh. “I would,” she admitted, “which only indicates how unwilling I will be to permit the occasion to arise.”
He sat down beside her and took her hand, and she sensed his mind beginning to sift and sort through the information she’d disclosed and the information she’d withheld.
He drew a pattern over her knuckles. “I am not your enemy, and I never will be.”
She nodded, not arguing. He slipped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her to his side.
“You are not my enemy,” Anna said, letting him tuck her against him. “And you cannot be my husband nor my keeper.”
“I will be your very discreet suitor for the summer, and then we will see where we are. We are agreed on this.” He voice was purposeful, as if he’d finished exploring the challenge before him and was ready to vanquish it.
“We are agreed,” Anna said, knowing his best efforts would in a few weeks time put them no closer to his goals than they were in that moment. But she needed those weeks, needed them to plan and organize and regroup.
And in the alternative, she needed the time to grieve and to hoard up for herself the bittersweet procession of moments like this, when he held her and comforted her and reminded her of all she could not have.
They stayed like that, sitting side by side for a long time, the only sound the rain pelting against the windows. After a time, Westhaven got up and looked around the room.
“I will go check on Pericles. I am thinking I should also lay a fire in here, as the rain does not appear to be moving off.”
“Lay a fire? We have hours of light yet,” Anna said, though in truth they’d had more than a nap outside by the stream, and the afternoon was well advanced. “We could make it back to Town were we to leave in the next couple of hours.”
He pursed his lips, obviously unwilling to argue. Anna let him go, knowing it would ruin his gig were they to try to get it back to Town in this downpour. He came back soaked to the skin but reporting the horse was contentedly munching hay and watching the rain from his stall.
They spent the next hour retrieving more blankets and the medical bag kept in the gig, then, as the rain had not let up, filling up the wood boxes in the library. The earl split logs from a supply on the back porch, and Anna toted them into the house. They continued in that fashion, until the wood boxes built beside the library hearths were full and the earl had left a tidy pile of logs split for the next time somebody needed a fire.
He returned to the library where Anna had laid a fire but not lit it.
“I should not be chilled,” he mused. “I’ve just hefted an ax for the first time in several years, but I find I am a trifle cold.”
Unusual, Anna thought, as she herself was not cold, and she hadn’t split wood, but then, the earl had gotten wet tending to his horse and Anna was quite dry. She’d found flint and steel in the wood box, thank heavens, or the earl would have had to get another soaking just as his clothing was drying.
“I’ll light your fire,” Anna said, missing entirely the smile her comment engendered on the earl’s face.
“And I will forage for a piece of marzipan.”
“There should be plenty,” Anna said from the hearth, “and some lemonade, though it isn’t likely very cold.”
He found the marzipan, taking two pieces, and then the lemonade.
“So where should we sleep?” he asked, glancing around the room as he chomped on his candy.
“At home, I hope.”
The earl gave her a quelling look. “I did not plan this weather.”
“No, you did not, but if we stay here alone overnight, my reputation will be in tatters.”
“And you still would not marry me?”
“England is a big place. A tattered reputation in London can easily be mended in Manchester.”
“You would flee?”
“I would have to.”
“I would not allow that, Anna.” The earl frowned at her as he spoke. “If you come to harm as a result of this situation, you will permit me to provide for you.”
“As you did for Elise?” Anna said, sitting on a stone hearth. “I think not.”
“I’m going to check on the horse again,” he said, “and bring in the last of the supplies from the gig, just in case the rain doesn’t stop soon.” Anna let him go, knowing his retreat was in part an effort to cool the irritation he must be feeling with her and the situation.
Westhaven did check on the horse and stepped out under the stables’ overhang to relieve himself, undoing his breeches and taking his cock in hand. His throat was scratchy from all their talking, and hefting the ax had set up an ache in his muscles that was equally unwelcome. Anna was getting twitchy about being stranded with him, and his temper was growing short. Not his best moment.
But then he looked down at himself and smiled, recalling the day’s earlier pleasures. Anna Seaton had a wanton streak that was going to win the day for them both. He shook himself off, gave himself a few affectionate strokes, then buttoned up. He was going to convince his housekeeper to trade her silly caps for a tiara, and he was going to use her passions against her shamelessly if he had to.
He tossed Pericles a small mountain of hay, topped off the water bucket from the cistern, and retrieved the provisions from the gig. On the way back to the house, he began to plan the seduction of his future wife, pausing to pluck her a single rose just as the sky opened up with a renewed downpour.
They dined on leftovers from the hamper, shared the lemonade, and talked by the fire as the light began to wane. He rubbed her back, held her hand, and avoided discussing the need to spend the night in the deserted house.
Anna rose f
rom the cushions and stretched. “I suppose it’s time to admit we’ll be sleeping here tonight—the question is where specifically?”
Thank you, God, the earl thought. His Anna was being practical, though she wasn’t pleased with their situation.
“The master bedroom comes to mind,” the earl suggested. “The bed there was probably built where it stands and conveys with the house. The room was clean enough, but it will be cold without a fire.”
“We can haul enough wood up there to get the room warmed up,” Anna said. “Since the other option is this floor. With only a few blankets between us, we’re probably better off sharing that bed.”
“We are,” he agreed, finding that for all they were before a fire, he still just couldn’t quite banish a sense of chill in his bones. “And as splitting wood seems to have left me a little stiff, the bed appeals.”
“To bed then,” Anna said resignedly as she began to gather an armload of logs from the wood box. It took several trips to move wood, blankets, and provisions to the bedroom. By the time they were finished, the entire house was growing gloomy with the approaching night.
Westhaven left the room to fetch a bucket of wash water from the kitchen, while Anna scouted the bed drawers for the linens sewn to fit the bed.
“Your water,” the earl said when he returned moments later. “I see your treasure hunt was successful.”
“The bed is made up.” Anna smiled at him. “We have soap and towels, though only our two blankets.”
“That should suffice.” The earl yawned as he knelt by the open drawer. “How about if you take the nightshirt, and I take the dressing gown?”
“As you wish, but a few minutes privacy would be appreciated, and…”
“And?” He was just pulling off his boots again, but in the dim firelight, at the end of the day, it struck him as a particularly intimate thing for her to watch.
“You will not touch me tonight? You will not expect me to touch you?”
“Touch as in, your knee bumps my shin, or touch as in what happened this afternoon?” the earl asked, peering into his boot.
“What happened this afternoon. I’ll try not to kick at you, either.”
“I will not make demands of you,” the earl said, leveling a look at her, “but I will want to.” He set aside his boots and rose, leaving her the privacy she requested to wash, change into the nightshirt, and dive beneath the chilly sheets of the bed.
When Westhaven returned, he looked over at the bed and saw Anna was feigning sleep. He had every intention of keeping his word to her, of behaving himself once he climbed into that bed. He was more tired than he had a right to be, considering he’d done little more than tool along in the gig, stroll around the property, and talk with Anna.
But he was exhausted, and he’d taken some sort of chill in the rain, and he could barely keep his eyes open. Still, he wasn’t going to waste an opportunity to torment his intended duchess, so he stripped out of his shirt, his breeches, stockings, and smalls, and took the bucket to the hearth, the better to illuminate him for Anna’s peeping eyes.
Truth to tell, it felt good to be naked and in the same room with her. He found a towel and the soap on the hearth, where Anna had left them, and slowly began to wash himself from toes to fingertips. When he’d made a thorough job of it, he blew out their two candles, tossed the dressing gown to the foot of the bed, and climbed in beside Anna.
In the darkness hours later, Anna awoke to feel his hand on her flesh, making a slow journey over her hip to her buttock and back again. The creaking and shifting of the old bed suggested he was moving more than his hand, and his breathing—slow, but audible— supported the theory.
He’s pleasuring himself again. Were all men so afflicted with lust? she wondered, even as that single, repetitive stroke of his hand left a trail of warmth across her flesh. If she rolled over, began kissing him or simply let him hold her, what other means would he find to torment her?
His breathing hitched, sighed, and hitched again, and then his hand went still. Anna felt him moving around and then subsiding down under the covers. That same hand curled around her middle, and her back was enveloped in the heat of his chest. He kissed her cheek then fitted himself behind her, leaving her bewildered but oddly pleased, as well.
She could not permit him the liberties he so clearly wanted, but this cuddling and drowsing together, it was more of a gift than he could ever know. While the storm pelted down from the heavens, Anna slept a dreamless, contented sleep in the arms of the man she could not marry.
Had Westhaven kept his dressing gown on, Anna might have been much slower to diagnose his ailment. As it was, they slept late, the day making a desultory arrival amid a steady rain that left the sky gray and the house gloomy. Anna’s first sensation was of heat, too much heat. Of course it was summer, but with the change in weather, the house itself was downright chilly.
Westhaven, she realized, was still spooned around her, and the heat was radiating from his body. She shifted away, and he rolled to his back.
He reached for the water glass. “I feel like I came off Pericles at the first jump, and the whole flight rode over me. And it is deucedly hot in this bed.” He rose, wrestling the blankets aside, and sat for a moment on the edge of the mattress as if finding his equilibrium.
“No,” he went on. “I feel worse than that, no reflection on present company, of course.” Without thinking, Anna rolled over to respond and saw him rise, naked as the day he was born, and make for the chamber pot.
“Good morning to you, too,” she muttered, flouncing back to her side, unwilling to be as casual as he about his nudity. He came back to the bed, took a sip of his water, and frowned.
“I am inclined to purchase this property,” he reflected, “but this bed will have to go. I have never risen feeling less rested.”
Anna rolled to her other side, a retort on her lips regarding earls who did not keep their hands to themselves, but she stopped and fell silent. Westhaven was sitting up, leaning against the pillows, his water glass cradled in his lap.
“Oh, my Lord,” Anna whispered, pushing her braid over her shoulder.
“No my lording,” Westhaven groused. “I am quite simply not in the mood for it.”
“No,” Anna said, scrambling to her knees. “My Lord, as in Lord above.” She reached out and ran a hand over his torso, causing him to look down at his own body.
“You were peeking last night,” he said. “It isn’t as if you haven’t seen me unclothed, Anna Seaton.”
“It isn’t that,” Anna said, drawing her hand back then brushing it over his stomach. “Oh, Lord.”
“Oh, Lord, what?”
“You.” She sat back, her head moving from side to side in disbelief. “You’re coming down with the chicken pox.” A stunned beat of silence followed, then the earl’s snort of displeasure.
“I most certainly am not,” he informed her. “Only children get the chicken pox, and I am not a child.”
“You never had them as a child,” Anna said, meeting his eyes, “or you wouldn’t have them now.”
The earl glared at his torso, which was sprinkled with small red dots. Not that many, but enough that they both knew they weren’t there the night before. He inspected his arms, which sported a few more.
“This is Tolliver’s fault,” he declared. “I’ll see him transported for this, and Sue-Sue with him.”
“We need to get you home,” Anna said, slogging her way to the edge of the bed. “In children, chicken pox are uncomfortable but usually not serious. In an adult, they can be much more difficult.”
“You are going to make a sick man travel for hours in this damned rain?” The earl speared her with a look then glared at his stomach again. “Bloody hell.”
“We have few medicinals here, and you will feel worse before you get better, possibly much worse. Best we get you home now.”
“And if the damned gig should slide down a muddy embankment, Anna?” he retorted. “It wouldn�
�t matter if the chicken pox got me, or a broken neck.”
She turned her back on him for that and went to the window, assessing the weather. He had a point, though he’d made it as meanly as possible. The rain was pelting down in torrents, as it had been for much of the night.
“I’m sorry,” the earl said, pushing himself to the edge of the bed. “Being ill unnerves me.”
“Our situation is unnerving. Is there a village nearby large enough to sport a physician or apothecary?”
The earl grabbed the dressing gown and shrugged into it, even those movements looking painful. “Nearby is a relative term. About a mile the other side of Welbourne there is something large enough to boast a church, but not in the direction of London.”
“Welbourne is where your niece lives.”
“Anna, no.” He rose off the mattress stiffly and paused, grimacing. “I am not imposing on Amery and his wife. You will recall the lady and I were briefly and miserably betrothed. They are the last people I want to see me unwell.”
“I would rather they see you unwell, Westhaven, then see you laid out for burial.”
“Are you implying I am too arrogant to accept assistance?”
“Stubborn.” Anna crossed her arms. “And afraid to admit you are truly ill.”
“Perhaps it is you who are anxious, Anna. Surely the chicken pox aren’t so serious as all that?” He sat back down on the bed but held her eyes.
Her chin came up a half inch. “Who just said he’s never risen feeling so uncomfortable?”
“Unrefreshed,” the earl corrected her, considering his bodily state. He felt like pure, utter hell. His worst hangover at university did not compare with this, the flu did not, the broken arm he’d suffered at thirteen did not. He felt as if every muscle in his body had been pulled, every bone broken, every organ traumatized, and he had to piss again with a sort of hot, whiney insistence that suggested illness even to him.
“Welbourne it is,” he said on a sigh. “Just to borrow a proper coach and a sturdy team. I won’t have Amery gloating over this, nor his viscountess.”
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