He grunted and began, his words coming in short bursts. “It was about Crystal Meyers and my time among the Englisha in Philadelphia. Deacon Mast and the others of the ministry, they have suspicions. Suspicions that are untrue. Daett told them of the letters Mamm used to write me once the committee took over the farm. Mamm asked me to return to run the farm. And to make things worse, I had to tell the deacon how Debbie used to drive past our place long before she joined the community. She’d watch me work in the fields. That was the last straw, I think. They want me to voluntarily stay back from communion this fall as a time of mourning and repentance.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “Surely Deacon Mast gives you some hope that the ministry might change their feelings.”
Alvin toyed with the dish towel. “If I humble myself, yah.”
Mildred reached over to touch his arm. “I think they want the best for you, Alvin. I know that I do. And I think you’ll make the correct choices. Your heart’s in the right place. You’ve come back from your time in the world. You’ve repented. I believe you belong here, on this farm, working in your daett’s place. He can’t see that right now because his heart is still troubled. You’ll make it, Alvin. I know you will.”
“Thank you,” he whispered. “That’s nice of you to say.”
“I’m not just saying it. I believe it.”
He dried another plate. Yah, Mildred was a gut friend. Alvin thanked Da Hah for sending such a wunderbah friend his way. This was much more than he deserved.
Twenty-Three
The next morning Ida was washing the dishes at the kitchen sink as the early morning sunlight streamed across the lawn outside. It had only been three days since the awful tragedy concerning Paul Wagler. The area by the silo stood empty now, the tractor and huge corn chopper moved on to the next site. If what she’d heard was right, the machinery was at Paul’s daett’s place. Emery had told her yesterday the silo crew would begin the week’s work at Jay Wagler’s after they’d finished the fields at Deacon Mast’s farm on Friday.
Paul was still in the hospital, and his daett had taken his place on the silo-filling crew. The family could ill afford to have their daett away from the farm for the rest of the season, but they would manage. Jay wouldn’t allow his son’s spot to remain unfilled on the threshing crew. Perhaps a younger man could be found next week to help out, but Ida doubted it. The wedding season was next month, and fall was always a busy time on the farms. She ought to offer her help with the chores at the Wagler farm, but that was out of the question. Not with her own wedding ahead and the help Daett and Emery needed at home.
She also didn’t want anyone to think she was trying to weasel her way into the Wagler family’s affection. Not that anyone would think such a thing, since few people knew of her former crush on Paul. She’d traveled with Paul to the hospital on Thursday, and that had pushed things far enough. She felt no guilt and had only the deepest compassion for Paul and his agony during the ambulance ride. At the hospital she’d stayed with Paul for the few minutes until he was taken into surgery. The family had arrived soon after that, and Jay had brought her home in his buggy while the family waited for Paul to come out of surgery.
Paul’s arm was gone now, Daett had told them last night. It was taken somewhere above the elbow. The damage had been too extensive. She didn’t understand all the medical terms, and neither did Daett, but they could understand a man’s empty sleeve. Paul would never be the same again.
On the ride to the hospital while the ambulance’s siren blared over her head, a strange thing had happened to her heart. Perhaps it was the sight of Paul bloodied and on that gurney. Whatever the cause, it was Da Hah’s mercy because the last of her fascination with Paul’s bold ways had vanished. Like snow that melted before the warm spring sun, Ida told herself. That’s how it felt. Paul had become an ordinary man to her as he rested sedated on the stretcher. She was ashamed that any of her old feelings had still been there, but they were gone now, and for that she was thankful.
Before her face rose the memory of Ben and how he’d looked on his visit last night. Joy had glowed on his face as he touched her hand in greeting. “Ida,” he’d said, “it’s so gut to see you again. I’m so sorry to hear about the accident on Thursday. I hear you rode with Paul to the hospital.”
She had nodded and smiled. The man couldn’t be jealous, she figured, not with that look on his face.
“Ach, you have a golden heart, Ida,” he’d said. “I do declare. Da Hah has greatly blessed my aching life with such a deep and wunderbah frau-to-be.”
She’d turned bright red right then and there. This morning the heat still rose up her neck when she remembered it. How plainly Ben had spoken, and yet it was as if he had the perfect right to. Was she not his promised one? And he would come this Sunday morning again, since there were no services in their district. They would speak more about their wedding plans with Mamm and Daett, and also have some time alone on the front porch swing, unless the weather was too cool.
Ida’s thoughts were interrupted when Debbie came into the kitchen to help.
Debbie picked up the towel. “You’re awfully quiet this morning.”
“Just thinking about things.” Ida lowered her head.
Debbie glanced at her. “Pardon me for asking, but I just have to know. Riding with Paul to the hospital… seeing him in such agony—did that change anything for you?”
Ida hadn’t planned to go there with any of the family, but maybe Debbie would listen if she spoke plainly. Ida took a deep breath. “In fact, the last of my fascination with Paul left me, Debbie. I fear Paul will never be the same, losing his arm. Men never are the same after something like that.”
Debbie nodded. “That’s what your daett told me.”
Ida tried to tease but the words came out tense. “Maybe he’d be about right for you now.”
Debbie laughed and concentrated on the dishes.
Ida could say more about that, but it was best to keep silent. But it wasn’t lost on her what Mildred was up to over at the Knepp farm. Mildred was capable of a lot, now that she was older and had been passed up by the other eligible Amish suitors. Ida had seen those looks Mildred still gave Alvin at the hymn singing. Yah, it was obvious Mildred tried to hide her feelings in public now that Alvin was dating Debbie. But at home and on the Knepp farm, unless she missed her guess, Mildred felt no such restrictions. All while Mildred was taking care of Alvin’s mamm, which would play well on Alvin’s affections. But it was not Ida’s place to interfere. Not to that extent anyway.
Debbie gave Ida a quick glance. “I’m quitting my job next week.”
Ida’s head jerked in her direction. “You’re what?” Now that was a change of subject!
“You heard right.” Debbie’s voice was firm. “I need to help with the wedding next month, and after that I’m the only girl still at home.”
Ida didn’t hesitate. “But, Debbie, you can’t put yourself out like that.”
Debbie snorted. “Like you have anything to say about self-sacrifice. Look how you live.”
“But that’s only me being me,” Ida managed. “It’s nothing special.”
“Don’t worry.” Debbie forced a smile. “I’ll never be you, but I’ve already spoken to your daett about it. He agrees. He likes it that I’m quitting my job and staying home on the farm.” Debbie paused to wipe her eye. “He said he’d treat me like his own daughter. He’d take care of me like he’s taken care of you and Verna.”
“Oh… ” Ida wrapped one arm over Debbie’s shoulder and pulled her close. “You sweet thing. You are something.”
Debbie had tears in her eyes when she glanced up. “Your daett looks at me as his daughter, Ida. Do you object?”
“Debbie!” Ida wrapped Debbie in a hug with both arms now. “Of course I don’t. You don’t know how much this eases my mind. I guess I’ve pushed my concerns to the back of my mind regarding how Mamm and Daett will handle things on the farm after I’m gone. But you’ve s
tepped right up and filled in what’s needed. You really are one of us.”
Debbie wiped her eyes. “I don’t know about that, but I’m trying. And your daett and mamm do seem to accept me.”
“And so do Verna and I,” Ida whispered. “Lois would too if she’d come to her senses.”
“I miss her,” Debbie said. “I know I’m not Lois’s real sister, but I feel what your family is going through without her.”
“Of course you do.” Ida continued to wash the dishes. Perhaps now was the time to tell Debbie. She’d been waiting for just the right moment, and it couldn’t get better than this. “Ben is coming this morning. We’re making plans for the wedding. And I want you and Alvin to be the witnesses on my side of the family.”
Debbie paused with the towel held in one hand. “Me? You want me? And Alvin? But what about Emery?”
Ida shrugged. “It’s Alvin you’re dating, not Emery. We could put you with Emery, I guess.” She gave Debbie a crooked smile.
Debbie drew in a sharp breath. “I do think that Emery should be your first choice.”
Ida reached over to give Debbie a quick hug. “Maybe, but I want you there beside me on my wedding day. Emery will understand.”
Debbie hesitated for only a moment. “Ida, I know you don’t like Alvin, so this is awfully kind of you. And I accept. It’s a great honor.”
“Then it’s settled.” Ida was all smiles.
Debbie sobered. “But I’m not staying home today to help plan the wedding. Isn’t that what witnesses do? Emery is visiting another district for the services, and I told him I’d hitch a ride and go along.”
They heard rapid footsteps on the stairs behind them. “It’s okay. I wasn’t expecting you to help today. And here comes Emery right now, if I don’t miss my guess.”
Debbie turned as Emery burst in the kitchen. “Who’s going with me?” he sang out. “I’m leaving in a Dutch minute.”
Ida felt a warm glow as Debbie snapped back, “No, you’re not! It’s still early.”
“I don’t plan to arrive with the old men,” Emery said with a laugh as he rushed out the washroom door. He hollered over his shoulder. “You’d better get changed.”
Ida smiled as Debbie dropped her towel and beat a fast retreat up the stairs. Emery was teasing, but one never quite knew. He surely wouldn’t drive off without Debbie in the buggy. If he did, Ida would rush out of the house herself and flag him down.
Emery needed a girlfriend—badly! No one said much about the subject at home—if they could help it. But neither did Daett have his head buried in the sand. They all knew that Emery was growing older every day and that he needed a frau to help him run the farm he’d soon inherit. Debbie might think she had solved the problem with her offer to stay home and help on the farm, but that was only a short-term solution. Daett and Mamm would soon build their dawdy haus, and Debbie couldn’t continue to live with them. Not and work at close quarters with Emery every day. Debbie was part of the family, and yet she wasn’t. Ida scrubbed a pan for a few minutes. She should stop her concerns about this situation. She would soon be married to Ben, and likely Debbie would marry Alvin before long. Emery could trouble himself about his own frau problems.
Ida looked up with a bright smile as Debbie reappeared in her best Sunday dress. “Have a gut day at the service.”
Debbie stepped closer for a quick peck on Ida’s cheek. “And may the wedding plans go off without a hitch.”
Ida felt the heat rise on her neck as Debbie dashed out the door. So much had happened so fast. Ida had a hard time keeping up. Today Ben would agree with the first Thursday in November as their date for the wedding, she was sure. He had, after all, given Mamm and her the privilege of picking the day.
“The sooner the better,” Mamm had told her. “You’d best not draw this out.”
And she had agreed, although she wasn’t quite sure what Mamm meant. Surely Mamm didn’t think she had doubts. Nee, Mamm probably figured it would be the best for the children—Melvin’s and Ben’s. Ben had told them the news that they would come to live with Ida and him after the wedding. Ida could tell the mixed emotions from the looks the two oldest, Willard and Rosa, had given her last Sunday at the service. Mamm probably noticed it too. With what had happened last time, a long, drawn-out affair wouldn’t be in anyone’s best interest. Melvin’s children would wonder if she’d be snatched away from them again. She could tell it especially in Rosa’s eyes. Willard had little more than a frozen look in his—bitter almost, like he hated the disturbance from where his heart had taken refuge.
Ida wiped away a tear as she thought about Willard. He would be her first project when it came to Melvin’s children.
Ida finished the last of the dishes and peeked into the living room. Mamm and Daett were sitting in their rockers. Daett had his Bible open, and Mamm was reading The Budget. Mamm looked up with a smile. “We’re going to miss you, Ida. You’re leaving us after all these years.”
Ida choked up for a moment as she rushed over to give Mamm a quick hug. “I’ll miss you too.”
Daett glanced up from his Bible. “You’ve always been a gut daughter, Ida. I want you to know that. Ben is getting a much better frau than he deserves.” Daett smiled. “But then don’t all of us get more from Da Hah’s hands than we should?”
“Thank you, Daett,” Ida whispered. “I’ll have my hands full, I’m sure.”
“That you will,” Daett agreed. “But you’re the woman for the task, Ida. You’re a credit to the community with your willingness to love Ben and Ben’s and Melvin’s children. Your life is an example we all should seek to follow.”
“Oh, Daett, that’s too much.” Ida felt her face grow hot from all this praise. She hadn’t expected this from Daett. Ben might say such things, but then he would soon be her husband. Daett was usually more restrained. Maybe his old age had cracked open his emotions.
“And Da Hah has left us Debbie,” Daett added, “to comfort us in our old age.”
Ida felt she needed to caution Daett. “Yah, but you know she might wed next year to Alvin, and then you’ll be alone.”
Mamm reached up and touched her arm. “Don’t you worry about that, Ida. That’s a while yet. And maybe Emery will have settled down by then.”
“Yah, maybe,” Ida managed. She didn’t look at Mamm. They must all live in faith, she told herself, and hope for the best. Regardless of how things turned out, there would always be a way to serve Da Hah with a whole heart. That was the most important thing, was it not?
“Sounds like Ben’s here!” Daett’s announcement interrupted her thoughts.
“Oh, yah!” Ida gasped. “And I’m still in my chore dress.”
Mamm smiled up at her. “He’ll like you just fine, Ida. There’s no sense in going all fancy this morning. There’s just us and the two of you.”
Mamm was right, Ida thought, as she hurried to the front door. She would meet Ben out by his buggy in her chore clothes, and they would go from there.
Twenty-Four
Ida waited in the shadow of the barn door while Ben tied his horse to the stall post. Moments before she’d helped him unhitch and followed him into the barn. For some reason they seemed a little nervous around each other this morning. Surely something hadn’t happened since last night? Certainly not on Ida’s part. So it must be the newness of their relationship that would still take some getting used to.
Ida stepped closer as Ben finished.
A nervous smile crept across his face, and his hands fidgeted.
“It’s okay, Ben,” Ida whispered, taking both of his hands in hers. “With Barbara so recently gone, it must seem mighty strange to be alone here with me in the barn. And yet I’m your promised one. Isn’t that how Da Hah wills things?”
He nodded. A smile spread over his face as she continued.
“We must go on, Ben. Even I must forget about Melvin and the plans we had together. Melvin is with his beloved Mary now. They’re happier than any of us can even imagine
. And Barbara, wouldn’t she wish you to seek help raising your children and even comfort for yourself? She has all the joys of heaven now, and a man wasn’t meant to live on this earth alone.”
Ben’s face lit up.
A warm rush of emotion flowed through Ida. She’d said the right thing, even to a stern man like Ben. And he wasn’t stern really, not underneath all that strictness.
His hand touched her face. “You never cease to amaze me, Ida. You speak to my heart without knowing much about me. Truly Da Hah has sent you to bless my life. I can never thank Him enough.”
Ida smiled. She was sure her face burned red from his praise. “You say too nice things, Ben. I’m glad you’re comforted this morning. We don’t have to be nervous around each other. It’s not that long before we’ll be living together in the same house.”
“I know.” He let go of her hand, but his smile never left his face. “So have you and your mamm picked a wedding date?”
Ida nodded. “The first Thursday of November. Is that okay?”
Ben’s smile grew wider. “Yah, that’s fine. And maybe there will be less of the others marrying on that Thursday.”
Ida tilted her head. “I hadn’t thought of that. But ours will be small. I hope you don’t have a problem with that.”
He gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “As long as you’re there, Ida. And the bishop is there to hear our vows. That will be enough for me.” He paused as a shadow crossed his face. “But are you sure about a small wedding? That’s not fair to you, is it? You’ve never been married before, and first brides like…”
Ida rubbed her burning cheek with one hand. “You have nothing to worry about, Ben. I also asked for a small wedding with Melvin, but Mamm wouldn’t listen. This time I’m getting my way.”
Ben grinned. “Putting your foot down, are you?”
Finding Love at Home (The Beiler Sisters) Page 16