I was struck again with that bolt of jealousy, something else we all suffered. It startled me all the more because I didn’t often feel it, not even when I had discovered Joe’s affair, I realized. It wasn’t jealousy I had felt, but betrayal. But right now, standing here, watching my daughter open up her heart to two strangers, I was feeling jealous. Ironic, I decided. Wasn’t it jealousy that had started this whole thing in the first place? Wasn’t Holly acting passive-aggressive and avoiding me because she was jealous of my relationship with MacGregor? I sincerely hoped the answer was yes to that question. Because if it wasn’t jealousy she was feeling, it was betrayal.
MacGregor was staring out his kitchen window. He kept his focus straight ahead while he extended an arm to me. “Holly has just gone back to Charlie’s.” Of course she had, now that her traitorous mother was gone.
I walked into his embrace, finding comfort and warmth and validation for being here. “You’re still spying?”
I felt his smile against the top of my head. “It’s what I do. At least, it has been since I became friends with Charlie McNair.”
I laughed at that. “I suppose that’s true. If you want to spend any time with the man, you have to join his club of private detectives.” I knew firsthand. I had done the same thing.
“Are you okay, darling?”
I shook my head. “No, but I will be. Matt thinks she’ll come around. He says she just wants to blame me because she’s so angry at her father and can’t express it.”
“Perceptive son, you have.”
I nodded against MacGregor’s chest.
“Just like his mum. Shall we go?” he asked.
“Where?”
“To see Maureen. She and Jillian are leaving the park, headed home, I assume.”
“Don’t you think it would be better if you went alone? She’s more likely to open up.”
“I could leave the front door ajar so you can eavesdrop.”
I shook my head.
“Or tape record the conversation.”
Again I shook my head. All too deceptive.
“Then come with me so you don’t risk my misquoting the conversation verbatim.”
“Good point.” Fortunately, in case Holly was looking out the window and saw us, it would appear that we were headed for the Elliots’. The press offered us an excuse to detour through Sharkey’s to the back of their house. It was how Jillian had been coming and going in order to avoid any unwanted interrogations. And I was certain the Elliots were doing the same thing, if they had even left their home.
Jillian had just exited through the Sharkeys’ back door when Maureen opened the front door for us.
“Coming to visit me or am I just an easy route to the Elliots’?” Maureen asked.
“You.” MacGregor gave her a hug.
She made a brief attempt to hide her smile, but I saw through it. She liked company.
MacGregor must have picked up on that too because he asked, “Has Declan been around?”
“Yeah, actually, he was here last night. Spent the night. He doesn’t like going back to his house any more than I like going to mine. Who knows maybe he’ll move back home too.”
If that was the case, Eddie Sharkey was a lucky man. Both of his adult children were willing to move home.
Maureen stepped past MacGregor and gave me a hug. “Nice necklace, Jenny,” she said.
I laughed and glanced down at the antique necklace she had helped MacGregor select for me from her mother’s boutique.
“So, to what do I owe this visit? More questions about the kidnapping? Have you made any progress?”
“Some,” MacGregor said. “We’re continuing to narrow down our list of suspects. I think we’re getting close.”
“Good, because it sounds like they’re falling apart over there. I was just talking to Jillian. Every time she talks about it, she starts crying, and she says her mom hasn’t slept a wink since Friday.”
“I don’t suppose she has,” MacGregor said. “I doubt any of them has.”
“Wait a minute! I know why you’re here!” I always had believed that Maureen was particularly astute. “You saw me talking to Jillian and Holly in the park.”
“Aye, we did indeed. We were wondering if Holly opened up to you at all.”
Maureen frowned. “Yeah, kind of. I’m sorry, Jenny. Is she giving you fits?”
The girl was definitely astute. “You could say that. She’s not very happy about our engagement.”
“I noticed.”
“What did she say?” MacGregor asked the question I wanted to.
“Pretty much that. She’s upset that you’re together. She was hoping you’d get back together with her dad, Jenny.”
“That wouldn’t have happened even if Malcolm weren’t in the picture.”
“Yeah, I figured from what she told me. It seemed like as much as she wanted it, she didn’t really expect it to happen.”
At least she hadn’t lost all sense of reality.
“Tea? Coffee? Beer?” Maureen offered as she motioned us toward her father’s prized bar. We shed our jackets and climbed onto the barstools.
“A little early for beer,” I said, “But a cup of coffee would be lovely, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“Already made.” She headed for the kitchen where she fetched three mugs. “Do you take anything with it?” she called out to us.
“Black,” we answered simultaneously.
MacGregor kissed me on the cheek and squeezed my hand. A moment later, Maureen appeared with the coffee.
“So, back to Holly,” she said, “Nice girl.”
“She can be,” I said.
“Well, you don’t have to worry. I set her straight.” Maureen laughed as she looked at MacGregor. “I told her you’re the best thing to happen to her mother.”
“Did you now?” MacGregor said, his brown eyes gleaming.
Maureen shoved her wavy red hair behind her ears. “Hey, I can lie with the best of them,” she teased. Then she looked away, a hint of a blush creeping up her cheeks. “I kind of told her how you were there for me when Dad was missing. She admitted she’s always felt really close to you.” She cringed. “Until now.”
MacGregor took a long sip of his steaming hot coffee, apparently immune to scorching temperatures.
“I also told her how great you are, Jenny. How close I feel to you. That probably wasn’t the right thing to say though. She looked at me like, who are you to be close to my mother? Like she was jealous. Like she is of Josh.”
“She told you that?” I asked in surprise.
“Not directly. She just said stuff like, ‘I go off to college and my mom gets a new kid and husband.’”
Not something I hadn’t already heard, but it hurt just as much now. That guilt again. Had I betrayed my daughter?
Did all children feel this way when their parents remarried? Did they take it as a betrayal? Was I the exception? Of course, I liked my step-mom better than my mother, so it was easier to see my father’s home as a sanctuary. And Matt too. He was genuinely happy for MacGregor and me. But the others, did they cling to the hope that their parents would find their way back to each other and recreate the family they had once been? Like Jillian. I wouldn’t be surprised if she and Holly kept running into each other at the park.
“I mean, I know she likes me . . . and Josh. I could tell. But still she’s a little pissed off and possessive. But don’t worry,” Maureen continued. “I told her she should meet my mother.” She laughed. “When I told her about my mother, it made you look really good, Jenny.”
Apparently Maureen’s mother, Moira, could be a real handful. The fact that she had flirted with MacGregor every time she saw him, didn’t endear her to me one bit. Although I did understand it.
“Thank you, Maureen, I appreciate your trying to get her to come around.”
“No problem. I could tell by how she was talking that she was avoiding you. And she’s only home for a week, right?”
“Right.”
“Well, hopefully she’ll get over it soon.”
“Hopefully.”
“I mean, she was really open with me. She told me she just didn’t see how you could get engaged so fast after the divorce. But then she’d say things like, ‘I know they’ve known each other forever, but still—‘ It was almost like she was trying to justify her reason for being mad at you.”
Maybe there was hope after all.
“And then I think I really got her. I told her, ‘Don’t you want someone in your mom’s life who loves her like nothing else?’”
“What did she say?” MacGregor asked.
“She asked how I knew that.”
“And you said?” MacGregor’s smile was growing.
Maureen shook her head and scowled at him. “I said, ‘You only need to look at the man’s face to see he’s head over heels.’” She punched MacGregor lightly in the arm. “It’s kind of disgusting actually.”
“Gee thanks, lassie.”
“Even as angry as she is at her father right now, she’s still very attached to him,” I explained.
“Yeah, I kind of figured that. The anger and the attachment. I could relate.”
I wondered if that meant her father too had cheated on her mother. I refrained from asking.
“But I did tell her that if I were her, I’d be really happy that my mom had a great guy in her life, especially after my father had cheated on her.”
MacGregor hugged her again. She giggled and this time more willingly accepted the gesture, or at least didn’t pretend not to.
“Is this the first time you’ve met Holly?” I was still surprised that my daughter had opened up to a stranger this way.
“Second. Jillian, Holly, and I met at the park yesterday. We were all out for a walk at the same time. Talked about the kidnapping, then the conversation segued into broken homes. Since I’m the oldest, and I’m from one, I guess they both feel comfortable talking about it. Jillian’s getting used to it, but for Holly, it’s new, you know?”
I knew. So, was it coincidence, the three girls out for a walk at the same time? Sure, if I believed in coincidence. Synchronicity was more like it.
I swallowed that disturbing sense of envy. “I’m glad she has someone to talk to who can help her through it.”
Maureen’s smile was sad as she studied me. “You know how people are, Jenny. They listen to strangers better than people they’re close to. Especially kids.”
“Very true. So, on to you, what are your future plans?”
“My future plans?” She shrugged. “To put one foot in front of the other, I suppose. Why do you ask?”
“I was just wondering if you’ve considered becoming a therapist.”
Maureen’s smile was slow, reflecting how seriously she was taking my suggestion. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she returned to college and pursued a career in psychology before the year was out. An excellent way to heal a marriage gone bad. She could set up her own practice and work out of her father’s home. Between Jillian and Holly, it looked as if she’d have plenty of young clients in the neighborhood.
Chapter 10
MacGregor took my hand as we walked down the Sharkeys’ driveway and back out to the street. We sure were walking the neighborhood a lot. It had started to drizzle again and the more tenacious members of the press who were still waiting for an opportunity to question or at least photograph the Elliots had taken refuge in their cars.
I stopped when we were adjacent to the park.
“What is it, lass?” MacGregor asked.
“I’m not sure.”
“You’re feeling something. I can tell by that glazed look you get.”
I honestly wasn’t sure why I had stopped walking, but when my eyes scanned the park and settled on a lone figure staring out at the Sound, I knew. I nodded toward the man. “I think I need to talk to him again.”
“Who is it?”
“Greg Rallings.”
“You want to go alone?”
I shook my head. “I’m not even sure why. I just feel that I need to see him.”
MacGregor nodded, gripped my hand more tightly, and led me down the path toward the water.
Just as we reached him, he looked up, his face red from standing in the cold. “Hello, Jenny.” Only two words, but the emotion was raw in his voice.
“Hello, Greg. I’d like you to meet Malcolm MacGregor.”
Greg swiped the back of his hand across his moist blue eyes before reaching out to shake MacGregor’s hand. His light brown hair was darker from the drizzle, his face, unshaven. He was taller and more rugged looking, but as handsome as Carter Elliot was, despite his scruffy appearance today.
“You’re the one who is contributing to the reward fund to find Ally?”
MacGregor nodded. “Anything to help.”
He shook MacGregor’s hand again. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
“I’m glad to do it.”
“How are Shelby and Carter doing?” I asked.
“Not well. None of us—” He looked down at the ground, then up again. “It’s hard, you know. Really hard. Have you had any more—?”
“Leads?” I asked. “We’re narrowing it down. And Josh will be training with the runners tomorrow so hopefully he’ll learn more about the ones we have left on the list. And I understand that the police think this kid who was on academic probation might be involved.”
“Yes, apparently he’s missing. I only hope if he does have Ally that he hasn’t—”
I put my hand on his arm. “It’s going to be okay, Greg.”
He glanced from his feet to MacGregor to me. “How do you know that?”
I took a deep breath and released it slowly. It was MacGregor who answered for me. “Jenny is very intuitive. She has a strong sense that Ally is safe.”
“I can’t be certain,” I said quickly so as not to give him false hope. “But every time I think of her or picture her, I sense that she’s okay.”
He nodded in acceptance. He wanted to accept that I could sense things about people. And he wanted to believe that I was right.
“It’s good you’re here to support Carter and Shelby,” I said.
“What?” He took a deep breath. “Oh, yes, of course. I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
“I know this must be very difficult for them. Have they gotten any sleep at all?”
He shook his head. “No. None of us has slept much. We try, but other than dozing off for a few minutes now and then, I don’t think so.” Again he was staring out at the water. “I’m really worried about Shelby. I don’t know if she’ll survive much longer. She feels responsible, you know. She thinks she should have been able to stop him. She thinks she should have been able to jump up and grab him and stop him from taking Ally. She won’t stop reproving herself for this. And she’s terrified. No matter what we say to her, she’s terrified she won’t ever see Ally again. I’m really worried about her. I don’t know what to do for her. I just want to bring Ally home to her. If only I knew what to do—”
He wanted to be the one to bring Ally home. He did want to be the hero, Did he think he could win Shelby back by being the one to rescue her baby?
There were a lot of strange senses floating through me right then, but one thing was very clear. The park seemed to be an easy place to open up one’s heart, especially to strangers.
“You’re still in love with Shelby,” I said softly.
He turned from the water and met my eyes. Apparently he found the truth there because he didn’t bother denying it. “Yes.”
“And she feels very close to you still.”
“Yes.” The hypnotic daze he’d been in since we’d first found him vanished, and he seemed to become alert, almost vigilant.
“Why did you get divorced?”
“I messed up.” The answer came quickly, almost as though it had been rehearsed.
I didn’t have to ask how he had messed up. I only had to hold the silen
ce long enough for him to fill it. I felt MacGregor’s hand that was wrapped around mine, squeezing it gently as he held the silence with me.
“I wasn’t there for her.”
“You seem to be now,” MacGregor offered.
“I wasn’t when she needed me. I was busy with work, trying to build my business. I wanted to provide for her. I wanted the best for her. And I became consumed with work. I was traveling overseas a lot. I didn’t realize she needed me more than she needed money.” He paused and for a moment I thought that was the end of his discourse, but he continued, his rhythm quickening almost as a child’s would when they wanted to get all the exam answers out before they forgot them. “One time when I was away for a long time, missing her terribly, I turned to someone else. So I let her down in two ways. Not being there. And betraying her.” There was that word again. He glanced up at me, his expression easy to read. Was I still listening? And did I believe him?
“And you haven’t stopped admonishing yourself for that.”
His laugh was derisive. “No, I haven’t. I lost her, didn’t I?” He gazed across the park toward the house where there was a husband who no doubt was doting over his wife. Carter had learned Greg’s lesson. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake.
“You’re still friends. The three of you.”
“Of course. I still love Shelby. And I know she—she still cares about me.” This time it was said in a matter-of-fact manner. “She still needs me.”
As she needed her husband, I thought. Two men, best friends, compelled to fill the needs of a woman they both loved. Why? A need within them?
I knew about that, men needing to be needed. It was what had broken up my own marriage, after all. I wasn’t dependent enough, and Joe had wanted to be needed. So, he had found a needy woman, not that different from Shelby Elliot.
Greg looked into my eyes and seemed disturbed by what he found. Judgment? I hoped not. I did not want to judge others. I tried not to.
“But it goes both ways,” he said, seemingly compelled to justify the relationship. “She gives tenfold what she gets. Shelby has a great capacity for giving and for loving. And when she loves, she loves deeply.” He continued to stare at me, as if in an effort to imprint his words on me until I believed them.
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