“I wasn’t out! It never touched me!”
“You still don’t get it…do you? You’re really all on the same team. It’s just a game.”
Those words torqued Barnegat’s neck. “Well, it’s pretty dang important to us!”
“You have to settle this like friends, or else…”
“Or else what, Mouse?”
“First, you lose trust, and then you lose friendship.” The two brutes were silenced by the impact of Danny’s words. “Heck, why even play kickball if you can’t trust each other?”
“So, how should we settle this? …All peaceful like and stuff?”
Barnegat placed an arm across Danny’s shoulder. “You know something, Mouse? You’re a real pain in my butt!”
“I know…” Danny grinned. “Somebody has to be.”
“Well, if it has to be anyone,” Barnegat smiled back. “I’m sure glad it’s you.”
“Here…” Danny revealed a quarter from his hip pocket. “Heads, he’s safe; tails, he’s out.”
The coin toss had been decided. Reluctantly, the team captains shook hands and smiled. Play resumed.
“I wonder, Edna…” Mr. Foster sneered. “Does the cafeteria serve crow?”
CHAPTER XVII
Gone to the Dogs
After school, Patti stormed into her humble abode and slammed the door.
Mother turned up the volume to her favorite soap opera. “Sh! We’re about to find out if Ingrid has been cheating on Anthony.”
Patti threw her books in the corner and stomped into the kitchen. She poured herself a cold drink and pounced back into the living room. She collapsed on the couch and cozied up beside her mother. Mrs. Connor stroked Patti’s hair while they watched the end of the show.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing! Everything’s coming up roses.”
Mother turned down the volume. “Did something happen in school today?”
“Yes, something happened!”
“Well, what is it?” Mother rested an arm on Patti’s shoulder.
“I got the wrong partner in science. That’s what happened.”
“Oh, my…is he too dumb to cheat off of?”
“No, Mother!” Patti crossed her arms. “And, why do you assume it’s a he?”
“Smells like boy trouble to me.”
“Yes, Mother…”
“So, tell Mother all about your new pet.”
“He’s smart, Mother. He’ll know. It’ll never work.”
“And, that’s what has my little girl so upset?”
“If that dummy, Mark, hadn’t royally screwed everything up…”
“Mark? You never told me about any Mark.”
“Oh, he’s just a friend. Anyway, he was supposed to be my partner…”
“Look, Patti,” Mother shook a lecturing finger. “I hope I won’t be disappointed.”
Patti dodged her mother’s icy stare. “No, Mother.”
“So, how are we doing in school, anyway?”
“Fine, I guess.”
“You know, we can’t afford any mistakes, Patti.”
“Yes, Mother…”
“They’ll take you out of the advanced class…understand?”
“I know! I know!” Patti rolled her eyes.
“Don’t get flip with me!”
“Yes, Mother, it’s just that…”
“Your teachers don’t think you can do it, but I—”
“All right, Mother!” Patti eyed the ceiling.
“But, we know differently, don’t we?”
“Will ya cut me a break?”
“Listen, girly! I fought damn hard to get you into the advanced class. So, start making the grades! Don’t embarrass me.”
“Yes, Mother…” Patti sighed, sulking to her bedroom. “I won’t embarrass you.”
“Oh, Patti-cakes, can I see you a moment?” Lynn abducted the girl from the hall, clamping the victim’s mouth shut from behind.
“Mmm! Mm mmm um mmm mmm!” Patti protested, struggling to break free.
Her sister taunted, “Your science teacher called...”
“Mr. Foster?”
“Sh! Not so loud! You want Mother to find out?”
“Mr. Foster?” the girl whispered.
“Who? Oh, yes, whatever…”
“Why would he be calling here?”
“He said you don’t appear to show any interest.”
“I’m…trying,” Patti huffed, biting her lip. “Really, I am!”
“He also said something about an upcoming test?”
“Ug! There’s always another test…”
“Ah-ha, I knew it! So…there IS a test come Friday!”
“Big deal.”
“Well, I…I mean, he wants to make sure you do well!”
“Oh, he does, does he?” The girl slapped her thighs. “How am I going to do that?”
“Just do whatever it takes. You’re good at that.”
“Say,” Patti sneered. “Why the sudden interest in my grades?”
“Oh, no reason,” Lynn flounced her flowing hair. “Sure be a shame if Mother found out, though...”
Patti raised an eyebrow. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with you sneaking out the other night, would it?”
“One bad turn deserves another, right snitch?”
Patti stared at the floor. “Are you gonna tell Mother?”
“Try me.”
“You don’t get it. You see, my science partner…”
“Patti, I’m really disappointed in you!”
“No, Lynn, you don’t understand. This boy—”
“Boys are all the same, lady. You know exactly what to do.”
“Oh, if Lynn knew about this one…” Patti muttered, stomping out of her sister’s room. “If she only knew!”
* * *
“Sergeant Zany’s Show Dogs,” the shingle at the road proclaimed. The front door was ajar. Danny poked his snout through the breach and sniffed with trepidation. The air was rich with a buttery aroma. Intrigued, the Irish Setter pup nudged the door open, craning his neck.
“Watch that—”
“OW!!!”
“…Door!”
“Thanks for the warning, clown!” Patti rubbed her throbbing nose. “You were supposed to fix that stupid hinge!”
Patti let the leash go slack. Danny snuffled hairballs tumbling across the floor. The sweet smell grew stronger, taunting his tongue with a creaminess that made him drool.
“Oh, I fixed it, all right!” the clown boasted.
“You’re a riot.” Patti pointed to a puddle of slobber. “Clean up this mess!”
Euphoric scents of residual pet oils steered the dog’s sniffer across the floor and up a chair leg. He hopped into the seat in hot pursuit of felines.
Patti read aloud the sign over the door: “The Sergeant is Out to Lunch.”
Thump, thump, thump! Danny’s tail applauded in delight. Thump, thump, thump!
The girl snickered, sliding the dead bolt in place with a chilling clink. Danny glanced at the overhead sign that now read “Danger Zone!”
“C’mon, ya dumb mutt!” Patti jerked the leash. Danny dug his claws into the vinyl seat and refused to cooperate. “Move it!” The ring leader yanked again, and the chair began to budge.
“Fine, have it your way!”
She retracted the leash – hand over fist – extracting the seat like a loose tooth. The armrest hooked onto a magazine rack. The dog held his position, but the determined girl would not be defeated. Patti dug in her heels and pulled the leash with all her might. Amused, he rode the furniture ferry across the waiting room – chair and magazine rack in tow. The ferry docked at the receptionist’s desk.
“We must see the sergeant. She will take care of everything.”
“My, my!” the bearded lady chirped. “And, what does this good doggie do?”
“He’ll do tricks for me. Wait and see!”
The beast towered over them, rising on his
hinds. Waves of hot breath smothered his admirers; his ginormous tongue hung from his mouth, threatening to detach.
The freakish woman handed Patti her whip. “So…what’s your latest trick?”
“Oh, boy! You won’t want to miss this dog and pony show.” Patti chuckled. “I’m getting ole Danny boy neutered!”
“Aah-wooooooo!!!” Danny howled at the top of his lungs. “Woof! Woof! Woof!”
“No, not again, Aggie!” Mr. Ormont pulled the sheets over his head. “I’m exhausted from my trip!”
“Woof! Woof! Woof!”
“Sailors’ shenanigans! He be at it somethin’ fierce!”
“I should build him a doghouse. Then, we can all get some sleep.”
The woman swatted her husband. “Such foolish talk!”
“Now, Aggie…you know my bark is worse than my bite.”
Mrs. Ormont grabbed her housecoat and bolted to Danny’s room.
Patti retracted the velvety curtain and cracked her whip, “Can’t keep the audience waiting!”
The submissive subject slunk into unfamiliar territory. The girl wormed her way through a maze of props, lighting fixtures, microphone booms, and camera dollies – companion in tow.
The sergeant was a towering woman with bleach blond hair that screamed of peroxide punishment. The stray hid behind Patti, whining. The sergeant arranged the props while the debutante sashayed before a full-length mirror. Danny circled three times and rested at the protégé’s feet; her menacing whip dangled before his eyes.
The feather-haired clown trucked past. “Better muzzle this one, Sarge. He tends to squeal.”
The sergeant handed Patti the muzzle. “What he said.”
The ruddy runt growled; a chill shot up his spine. The canine cowered in the corner, but Patti easily trapped him. The dog curled up in a ball; the boy fell asleep in the fetal position.
“I be a-right beside yea.” Mum held his hand.
“I am right beside you.” Patti squeezed his forepaw.
In her skintight outfit, the girl was dressed to kill. She slipped the muzzle over his snout without a fight. The ring leader and her canine co-star waited in the wings, planning to make a grand entrance. The dog nosed Patti’s toys – hapless pets, like Danny, muzzled or harnessed for her amusement.
“Ladies and gentlemen!” The sergeant bowed deeply as the curtain rose. Danny growled at the sound of her voice; his hackles bristled. Playing emcee, the droll woman slaughtered a few jokes. Danny leapt up, and Patti caught his forepaws. He looked deep into her eyes. Stop the insanity! Star-struck, the wide-eyed girl paid no mind.
“…So, without further delay,” the hostess concluded, “please welcome the first victim!”
Victim? ...But who?
Patti lured her star performer center stage. The prima donna spun around, cracking her whip. Her assistant froze in the blinding spotlight. Patti was a completely different person. He had never seen her in this light.
“Go on, Danny!” Patti whispered in his ear. “I got a killer act!”
The strong man hoisted the mongrel over his head. The jittery animal squirmed like a deranged monkey. The audience gasped. The boy wriggled across his bed. Locked in a bear hug, forepaws drooped over muscular shoulders. The dog showered the strong man in urine; the child wet the bed. Repulsed, the behemoth dropped the puppy upside down upon the grooming table. The boy collapsed on the bed – all four limbs protruding in the air.
Mum offered her hand. Danny returned the gesture; the dog extended his forepaw. Patti took his paw in friendship and drew near for a kiss. Danny licked her cheek when she clamped wet cotton balls over the dog’s snout. Can’t you feel it, Patti? You’re hurting the wrong guy… Anaesthetized, the canine collapsed on the table; exhausted, the child collapsed on his bed. The audience erupted in applause.
“Hey, boy…have I got your number, or what?” Hastily, she secured the sleeping lummox to the table, maneuvered the nylon constraints over his posterior.
“Patti, why don’t you do the honors?” The sergeant handed the girl a knife. Patti lurched, apprehensive to take the bloodstained weapon into her own hands. “Lynn! I am a lady…”
“I insist, the show must go on! …After all, what are sisters for?”
“I suppose…” Patti clenched the knife. “Is this right, Lynn?”
“Why worry about what’s right? After all, you’re the boss.”
“I mean,” the ring leader pointed with the blade. “Where should I aim?”
“I really don’t care what you do.”
“Oh, boy!” Patti lit up a cigarette. “This ought to be a snap!”
“Break a leg, lady!”
The feather-haired clown came from nowhere and circled the stage upon a kiddie-sized fire truck. Circus music filled the air. The crowd clapped in time to the whimsical melody.
“Pay attention!” the sergeant cringed. “Don’t embarrass—” The clumsy clown squirted the woman in the face with a seltzer bottle. “Watch it, Bub!”
“It’s one for the money, two for the show,” Patti crooned. “Three to get ready, and four”
“Do it just like we practiced, lady.”
“Hey, I know what I’m doing!” Patti turned her back on her target and lobbed the dagger over her shoulder. The dog’s kneecap shattered like glass.
The funny little man drove up and offered the star a bouquet of sanguine roses, stealing a kiss. Danny’s mouth exploded with peppermint. Backstage, the strong man stewed with jealousy and blasted a huge fan at the couple. The roses stretched into balloons that sailed to the ceiling. The clown pretended to shoot them down with seltzer, soaking the hysterical audience instead.
“Get on with it,” the sergeant fumed. “Shake a leg!”
“Ya know?” Patti clenched another weapon in her cold hand. “Each toss gets easier and easier!”
“Concentrate!”
“Heck, it’s not like I’m hurting anybod—” Patti grazed the dog’s heart. “Oops!”
“You’re playing with fire!” The clown blasted the girl in the face, extinguishing her cigarette. Drenched, the smoldering cigarette sagged in her pursed lips.
The strong man charged the stage, and the clown scurried for shelter. The muscle man swept Patti off her feet. Cradled in his arms, she admired herself in the strong man’s mirrored glasses. Kaboom! The cigarette exploded in his face. Pyrotechnics showered the stage, igniting the set. The curtain fell, and lights came up. The audience took to their feet, screaming for more.
“What a stellar ending!” The sergeant stomped out the flames. “You really brought down the house!”
“I’ll say. They were swinging from the rafters.”
“But damn, lady… You were too soft on him.”
“Oh, Sis, I couldn’t—”
“Next time, go straight for the kill.”
“We got a problem…” Patti glanced down at her victim. “He’s different.”
“Are you pulling my leg?”
Danny yelped, struggling to raise his weary head. He peered down the muzzle and gazed at Patti with a mournful eye.
“He’s different, Lynn! He, he…he breaks the mold.”
“You’re just setting him up for a big fall.”
“No, I can feel it! I can feel it in my bones.”
“Nonsense. He’s just one more hound in my sister’s pound.”
“Shush! He’ll hear you!”
“Well, he shouldn’t eavesdrop. And, so what if he does?”
“Oh, I don’t know…” Patti chuckled. “I suppose he’ll hit the roof.”
“Maybe it’ll cut him to the bone.”
“You’re one lucky dog.” The ring leader rubbed his chest. A hairline scratch bloodied her hands. “You caught a lucky break today.”
“Ha! He don’t know how lucky he is!”
“Whatcha mean, Lynn?”
“Today, a broken leg,” the sergeant cackled. “Tomorrow, a broken heart!”
CHAPTER XVIII
Cat a
nd Mouse
Science Class:
Since the dawn of time, Fridays were notoriously test days. Perhaps teachers took the old adage too literally: Work before pleasure.
“There’s no need to be worried,” Danny assured his female friend.
Patti bit her lip. “Easy for you to say.”
“Just remember what we discussed in class. Like, our little experiment.”
“I only wish it was that simple…”
“Take one and pass the rest along,” the teacher instructed. A student groaned in pain. “Class, take your time and think it through. You have all period. Now…does everyone have a test paper?” His students nodded, meekly. “Then, you may begin. Keep your eyes on your own paper.”
A hush fell over the class. Young brains chewed on challenging, multiple choice questions. Some preferred the term “multiple guess.” Patti read the first question. She read it ten times, but the words might as well have been written in a foreign language. The girl perused the page, equally lost. Patti kept her head down. Pencil in hand, she pretended to slave away.
She glanced over at her studious neighbor. Engrossed, Danny sat hunched over his answer sheet. The dismayed girl sighed, watching her classmates’ brains churn. She peeked at her watch. Fifteen minutes had already passed. Her heart raced the clock. The pressure ballooned with each painful, passing minute. It was now or never.
The girl bumped her desk. A pencil rolled before Danny’s feet. She cleared her throat, grabbing Danny’s attention. He looked at her, puzzled. She pointed to the ground, mouthing pencil. Leaving his paper unguarded, he scrunched down and trapped the pencil under foot.
“Great! Let’s see, A-C-E-B-D…” Patti jotted. “A-B-E…”
Danny smiled sheepishly at the girl, returning her pencil.
Patti flipped to the next set of questions. “Now what?” Every second ticked away with her heart pounding in her ears. She drummed her fingers on the desk. Tiny beads of perspiration glossed her upper lip. Eight questions down, seventeen to go.
She twirled a lock of hair, staring blindly into space. Her blank look mirrored her answer sheet. Did Mother expect miracles? Poised to write again, a new trick dawned on her. Patti’s face lit up. She slipped her hand under the desk and squeezed Danny’s knee.
Zing-ding! Danny’s heart skipped a beat. Zing-ding! He shot straight up and swooned.
Patti batted her eyes allowing her to snitch more answers. “C-B-D-A…”
“Eyes on your own paper, Mr. Ormont.”
Patti shielded her answers.
“Yes, sir…”
“Woooooooo!”
“Silence, class!”
Patti wore a devilish grin. “This is easier than I imagined.”
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