by Mia Ford
“But, Carl, when I called them they told me to come in and talk to you,” Sherry said. “And now you’re not answering my calls when I call you, so I had to come up here. Look at me, Carl. Look at me. I’m nine months pregnant, broke and tired. Do you really think I wanted to come up here like this and do all this just for fun?”
Carl looked Sherry up and down for a moment, remembering the pretty, social butterfly she used to be. Once upon a time, he truly had a thing for her. His hitting on her never worked – went unnoticed. He obviously wasn’t her type. Now, as he looked at her, he couldn’t help but to wonder who the father was and why she obviously wasn’t getting much help from him. Without realizing, he shook his head.
Sherry’s eyes bugged when she picked up on Carl’s disapproving. Now, it was starting to makes sense. Sherry always knew the manager had a thing for her, but there were always a lot of vibes he gave off that turned her off of him. Truthfully, Sherry picked up on his spoiled brat demeanor by the way he talked to some of the other waitresses who ignored his advances.
“Carl, please,” Sherry said, raising her voice a bit. “The check wasn’t even for that much. You know you could easily write it and all this could be over.”
Carl huffed a bit then looked at Sherry as if she were the biggest nuisance in the world. He slammed his clipboard down on the bar then headed into the back. A couple minutes passed then the door came swinging open. He darted out, up to the counter, then slammed the check down. “Here you go, Sherry. Okay? Here’s your freakin’ check.”
Before Sherry could slide down the bar and reach for the check, Carl turned away like a madman and went on about his business. His movement caused enough of a wind to pick up that the check blew off of the bar then onto the floor, a couple of feet from Sherry. A disappointed groan slipped out of her lips as she thought about how hard it was going to be for her to bend over and pick up the check. Almost calculating her movement, she took a deep breath then bent over and scooped the check up off of the floor. Just as she stood upright once again, pressing her hand into her lower back, she heard Carl gripe, probably thinking he was doing so under his breath, “Only kept her on for that long because she was pretty.”
Sherry’s face reddened, but she resisted the urge to give Carl a piece of her mind. She had too many other things to worry about, so she went on and walked back out into the winter night. She pulled her coat closed and trekked down the street, mindful of her every step as the last thing she needed right now was a fall. Shortly after climbing back into her car, she paused for a moment. With her eyes glued to The Blue Ivy’s side brick wall, she thought about all of the events that had unfolded in her life recently. For lack of a better phrase, Sherry felt like her car was heading toward the edge of a cliff. She could see it – the cliff coming up then the subsequent fall to her death – but her pressing the brake did nothing to stop it.
Pregnant. I’m 23 years-old, pregnant, and haven’t told my family yet. Chrissy says I shouldn’t think that deep into it, but I already know what they’re going to say. Sister...brother...cousins...all had things going for themselves, got married, then had kids. And here I am...the youngest, the poorest, and the one who’s knocked up...out of job and staying at my best friend’s place until...until I don’t know when. Father? Not in the picture and I’m not all that interested in finding him.
Then the worrying news delivered by her doctor just a couple of weeks ago crept back into her mind: some cells on Sherry’s breasts looked like they could be cancerous. Because certain scans and tests were too dangerous to do on a woman is nine-months pregnant, the first order of business after she gave birth was to look at the situation and see if treatment was necessary. With the kind of luck Sherry had been having, there wasn’t any doubt in her mind the cells would be cancerous. Stage 4, possibly. However, if there was one silver lining in such a messed up situation, it was the fact that her pregnancy helped to pick up on these cells before they advanced too much.
“Fuck,” Sherry groaned. Snow started falling once again. Once upon a time, even into her adulthood, she was that person that loved the snow – loved the way the city looked when covered in a white dusting. Now, snow was representative of something else. Being early in the winter, it was only bound to get colder...much like Sherry’s life.
After dwelling on her situation, Sherry sighed then started her car so she could head back to Chrissy’s place. She had no interest in being caught out in a snowstorm in the middle of the night. She turned out onto the street then headed south, zigzagging through the south side of downtown until she got onto Broadway Street. Shortly after crossing under the railroad, her car started jutting violently. Then, a strange scraping sound followed and her speed suddenly decreased. As the street sloped back up from the dip under the viaduct, her car jerked forward a few times more, at moments so powerful it sent Sherry’s own body thrusting forward. Her nerves were on edge; her heart pumped as she tried to make sense of it all. Next thing Sherry knew, her car stopped. She restarted it a couple of times, each time putting it into DRIVE then trying to move forward. The car didn’t move.
“Fuck, now the transmission goes out,” Sherry said. “Fuck!”
Cars zoomed by, not a single one stopping to help. Uselessly, Sherry started the engine a few times more only to find the car stalled and unable to move. She rammed her fists into the horn as the sky only got darker. After a few minutes of helplessly thinking about how her life had turned to total shit since finding out she was pregnant, her eyes swelled. She gripped the sides of the wheel, using every bit of strength she had left to keep from slamming her forehead into the steering wheel. Once she finally got herself together, now on the verge of tears but knowing she had to do something other than sit out on a snowy street, she dug her phone out of her pocket and called Chrissy. Guilt consumed her because she’d been depending on Chrissy so much, but she didn’t know what else to do.
“Chrissy, I’m so sorry,” Sherry pleaded when her best friend answered. “But my transmission went out on Broadway. Can you please come and get me?” She tried to hold back from sobbing, but this all was turning out to be just too much. She wiped her eyes then continued. “I’m sorry, Chrissy, but can you please come get me?”
Like the good friend she was, Chrissy consoled Sherry then promised that she was on the way. While she waited, making sure to turn on her hazard lights, she drowned in sorrow and reflected on this circumstance she never thought she would find herself enthralled in. She looked around at her car, knowing there was no way in hell she would ever be able to pay to get the transmission fixed. Even if it somehow only were to cost a few thousand dollars, her bank account was slowly approaching negative; her credit cards had officially been maxed out a month ago.
Sherry couldn’t help but to look down at her stomach as she waited on Chrissy to pull up. The very thought of having a newborn then having to possibly go through radiation or chemo treatments seemed so bleak – so damn gloomy. The world seemed to be crumbling beneath her feet while a rope handing down to save her was quickly being lifted up just as she reached for it. Never in her worst nightmares did she think her life would wind up in such shambles.
“How in the world am I going to take care of a baby?” she cried to herself. “I’m due any day now.” She leaned her head forward onto the steering wheel and sobbed while she waited.
Chapter 4: Two Weeks Later
Sherry rubbed her stomach as she lay in the spare bedroom at Chrissy’s place. For the better part of the last hour, she’d been looking up at the ceiling. She and Chrissy had finished eating dinner then, feeling so heavy and tired, Sherry trudged down the hallway and into the bedroom. Not even bothering to push the door closed, she simply collapsed in her bed, on her back. Her most recent doctor appointment had been nearly a two weeks ago today. And she was due nearly a week ago.
Chrissy paced back and forth down the hall while yapping on the phone with a coworker. They talked about some issues with a report as well as the company nee
ding to change its policies. From the depths of her dark room, Sherry looked at her friend’s silhouette, thankful that she had someone in her life who was willing to help her during her time of need. Sure, she could get back in touch with her family and work toward rebuilding her somewhat strained relationship with them. Being the black sheep, though, made it more difficult than she was willing to deal with at a time like this. Her family would probably happily treat her like charity. With her delivery looming, she closed her eyes and started drifting off to sleep as heavy chunks of snow fell to the streets.
Around midnight, the only noise in Chrissy’s apartment was that of the dripping kitchen faucet. The snowfall still hadn’t slowed down. The street light just outside of the living room window buzzed. Sherry’s eyes popped open. Fatigue known only to a pregnant woman whose delivery date has passed by seven days set in quickly. Her desperate urge to pee was too great to ignore, so she pulled her legs off of the bed and headed to the bathroom.
Sherry leaned back as the sound of her flow filled the bathroom. She looked up at the ceiling, gripping the side of the sink as support. No sooner than she’d gotten up, flushed, then headed back out into the hallway, she felt what seemed like a big cramp. She screamed out, grabbing her stomach then wincing as she looked down. Light from the bathroom reached out into the hallway between her legs. The woman looked down to discover her water had broken.
“Oh shit!” Sherry said, breathing heavily. She couldn’t help but to smile – a smile of joy as well as of fear. “Oh shit, oh shit.” She laughed. “Really?”
Commotion came from Chrissy’s room. Before Sherry could process everything, her bedroom door swung open. Chrissy darted down the hallway, asking what was going on. She stopped as she got within two feet of Sherry then covered her mouth. “Oh my God, Sherry. Your water broke.”
Sherry, smiling, finally looked up. “I know, I know… I was...” Before she could finish explaining, a sharp pain whisked through her stomach. She let out a wale. Sweat popped out of her forehead as she realized she was having a contraction. “Oh my God, Chrissy! Oh my God! We gotta get to the hospital, we gotta get to the hospital!”
Chrissy rushed around to get the baby bag then helped Sherry into her coat. With car keys in hand, the two friends headed outside and walked down the steps to the parking lot. Shortly after Chrissy helped Sherry into the car then pulled out onto the street, Sherry leaned forward in pain and gripped her stomach. “Oh my God, Chrissy! It just did it again!” She took deep breaths. “Please, hurry up!”
“Okay, okay,” Chrissy said. “Just try to stay calm, Sherry. I’m taking the quickest way to Memorial. Just stay calm..deep breaths”
Chrissy carefully pulled through stoplights when the coast was clear; took curves and turns carefully as the streets were increasingly packed with dense, somewhat icy snow. In the fifteen minutes it took to get to Memorial Hospital, she noticed Sherry’s contractions getting closer together. The anxiety was almost too much to deal with. At times, she feared her friend might start to give birth in the car right next to her. When Sherry screamed out in pain, Chrissy grinded her teeth.
Chrissy rushed into Memorial and notified the ER staff that her friend was in labor. She grabbed the baby bag, watched the hospital staff come out and rush the pregnant woman inside, then quickly parked her car. By the time she got back to the ER entrance, they had just finished checking Sherry in – getting her information. Chrissy held Sherry’s hand as she cried tears of joy and pain on the elevator. “Thank you so much, Chrissy,” Sherry said, taking deep breaths and stopping every-so-often to scream out in pain from another contraction.
Chrissy told Sherry how much she loved her as well then the hospital staff carried her off to the delivery room. There, Sherry sat in the waiting area, with the baby bag. A couple of hours passed; she’d nodded off and had woken up. Then she was up for two hours, watching CNN as she glanced down the hallway, anticipating somebody would be coming to tell her something. Again, she dozed off for a couple of hours then woke up to send an email to her boss that she probably wouldn’t be coming into the office in the morning.
Around 4 o’clock, woman accidentally hit her foot then said excuse. Once again, she looked at the television with the bag resting on her lap. Then, her attention was pulled away from Anderson Cooper with the twinkly music coming over the intercom signaling that a baby had just been born. Chrissy smiled as she looked down the hallway. The same doctor who had rushed to the gurney when the elevator doors opened came walking down the hallway, clearly looking for someone. Quickly, Chrissy jumped up out of the seat and crossed the waiting area. She met the doctor at the entrance to the hallway and was greeted with the news that her friend Sherry had delivered a beautiful baby boy at 4:23am.
***
Sherry sat in the backseat of Chrissy’s car the following afternoon. A snowstorm had passed over the city during the early morning hours, blanketing the streets with a clean layer of snow. The thick clouds that had blocked last night’s stars had rolled on, making way for sunshine to reach down and kiss the white winter wonderland. She smiled then looked down at baby Gabriel, who she cradled in her arms. Even though so much uncertainty about her life hung around like a dark cloud, there was something about looking into this beautiful baby’s eyes that made her think and feel things she never had before.
The next few days were like the first days of a new life for Sherry. She struggled with getting up in the middle of the night to tend to Gabriel’s crying as he lay in a used crib at the front of her bed. Figuring out formula was one thing; she tried breastfeeding, but didn’t too much care for it. No matter how hard dealing with a newborn baby was for the new mother, the mental anguish of what could come in terms of her health overshadowed it all. An array of emotions overcame her when she thought about how she still hadn’t told her family she was pregnant, let alone that she’d given birth to a baby boy – to her family’s sixth grandchild.
The following Friday didn’t exactly help her anxiety about her life. Now that she’d given birth, it was time for her oncology appointment to see what should be done about the cancerous cells. The doctors as well as Sherry were very concerned about these cells going untreated in the last few months. Chrissy arranged to be home to watch Gabriel so Sherry could go to her appointment. Sherry thanked her for being a good friend as she kissed Gabriel on the forehead then headed out the door to use Chrissy’s car. The car ride to the doctor’s office was anything but joyful, but at this point Sherry could only hope for the best. She still wasn’t sure of how she was going to take care of this child if she wasn’t working and didn’t have a car.
The nurse came out to the waiting room nearly 15 minutes after Sherry got back from radiology. Trying to keep her mind off of her sorrow, she’d been flipping through magazines. Various articles inspired her on ways she would lose the baby weight and get back to how she’s been before – how she’d been when she was working at the Blue Ivy and had guys hitting on her all night.
Following the nurse’s lead, Sherry stood up and followed the woman back to the doctor’s office. There, she waited another ten minutes or so. Listening to the doctor go from room to room around her was certainly nerve-racking. No matter how hard she tried to not think about it, lately her life had been so much sorrow that dwelling on the negative was inevitable. As soon as she’d fallen into a deep thought about how she would handle whatever news the doctor had for her...and how she would take care of this child should it be the worse...the doctor swung open. Doctor Ali, the oncologist, walked in carrying a folder. He greeted Sherry then sat down at the computer and pulled up some scans.
Sherry’s eyes swelled with tears as the doctor spoke, pointing at the scan and explaining his observation. Her stomach sunk as the doctor explained that the cancer in her cells had grown and that she would need to start treatment right away. As things were looking now, she would probably need treatment at least a few times a week for months. Sherry felt like her heart broke as she listened to the doc
tor describe the symptoms she would be feeling between the treatments. Sherry couldn’t help but to turn toward the window, looking out at a shopping center in the distance, as her world seemed to slow down. If there were any other time she felt like jumping off of a cliff, today would be the day. Then, little Gabriel came to mind. Her eyes watered up. This can’t be happening.
The rest of the appointment was somber, as to be expected. Doctor Ali handed Sherry some tissue, seeing the woman was taking the news a bit hard. Nevertheless, he made sure to highlight the positive aspects of everything. He gently rubbed Sherry’s shoulder as he explained that unlike most patients, she caught her cancer long before it progressed into Stage 4. Treatment options had advanced so much compared to the past that Ali was more than confident Sherry would come out just fine after a couple of months. However, the man could tell that the patient, who had obviously just given birth, wasn’t comforted by his words. She looked blankly off into space, nodding as he presented her with the information.
Sherry made her followup appointment with Ali’s secretary, forced a smile and thanked the woman then headed back out to Chrissy’s car. There, in the sunlight, she leaned her head back in thought as her eyes stared off at a nearby snow-covered retention pond. Stray tears rolled down her cheek as she held back from sobbing. Her head crooked over to the right. Her thoughts consumed her; the stress showed on her face, even through the makeup.
Treatments. How much is this going to cost? Sherry imagined hospital bills showing up in her P.O. box – herself opening them and seeing balances she wouldn’t be able to pay.
Falling sick between the treatments. What about Gabriel? Glancing around at the car, Sherry couldn’t help but to think about how she was literally depending on her friend Chrissy to take care of them. How long would that last? After so long, Chrissy is going to be tired of doing this. I don’t have a car...no job and it looks like getting one isn’t even in the picture.