“Good, you’re awake. I just stayed here because I told the young man who called in I would relay his message after I knew you were okay. You have a fractured cheek bone and some minor cuts and bruises, but no significant injuries. You were not raped if you’re worried about that, which I know you probably aren’t since you been out thotting around.” Alvin said as I struggled to sit up on my pillow and say something.
“Don’t say shit Yass. Let me say this and be gone. His name was David and he said he forgives you and that he had to help. He said he was coming to tell you that when he heard what was going on so he went to get help. I don’t know what your lowdown ass did to him, but you better be glad he came and felt sorry for you. I don’t know if I would have been so generous. Anyway, that’s it Yasmine.” Alvin said as he walked to the door and I stopped him.
I was tired of all his bullshit and despite my head ache and the pain all over my body I had to tell that fucker what I needed to say. I needed to find out why he was so angry at me and why he had hurt me so bad and continued to do that even when I was at my lowest. I wanted to know. I needed to know before I showed him what pain really was. Despite my progress in therapy I had to revert back to revenge once I found out why Alvin hated me so much.
“Wait a fucking minute you arrogant faggot muthafucka. Let me tell you something. You’re the disgrace Alvin. You hear me? You! You’re the undercover shit packer who left a loving wife to go sleep with a man. YOU!!” I yelled as Alvin snapped around and ran over to my bed and placed his hand over my mouth as he whispered.
“Be the fuck quiet you hoe, my partner nem in the hall. Bitch Shut the fuck up before I finish what Wayne couldn’t.” Alvin said as I laid still with my arms at my side.
I watched him as he backed towards the door with his finger pointed at me and for the first time I feared what he might do. I knew as a cop he had the power to make me disappear and with his hate, he would do it too. What I couldn’t understand was why he hated me so much when he was the one who had hurt me. I had to ask as my head began to throb again and my heart monitor beeped.
“Alvin, tell me why the fuck do you hate me so much? I did nothing to you. Why do you hate me?” I screamed as he stopped with his hand on the door.
“I hate you because you made me love you. You were always so needy and clingy that I felt obligated to love you. I knew I was gay all along but I did all the marriage and sex for you. I did it because Yasmine loved me and needed me even though I NEVER loved you. You robbed me of years I could have enjoyed, so yes I hate you bitch.” Alvin said as his words hit my heart like daggers, after they ripped through my flesh.
I felt the room begin to spin like I was going to pass out as malice took over me. Before I knew it my mouth opened and I screamed to the top of my lungs.
“FUCK YOU! YOU NASTY, GAY BASTARD! I ROBBED YOU? YOU ROBBED ME!” I yelled as I heard voices in the hall and Alvin rushed over to tell me to be quiet
“SHHH, shut the fuck up. Okay, we’ll discuss this later.” Alvin whispered as he rushed over to me and three uniformed cops bust in.
In that moment I know he saw his entire life flash before his eyes just like Wayne had. I know he knew it was over for the facade he had put on his entire life and I was about to expose his ass. I knew it because he fell to his knees as soon as they were in the room and I yelled out his name.
“ALVIN YOU GAY BASTARD. YES, ALVIN LEFT ME FOR A MAN WHO NOW LIVES HIS LIFE AS A WOMAN. LOOK IT UP. HIS NAME IS KRISTEN NOW BUT THAT’S A FUCKING MAN. HE WORKS AS AN EMERGENCY DISPATCHER RIGHT THER IN Y’ALL STATION. THE FAGGOTS RIGHT AMONG YOU, MATTER OF FACT THAT’S WHERE THEY MET. YES, MR. SQUEAKY CLEAN A HOMO, NOW TAKE THAT BACK TO THE STATION.” I yelled as I heard Alvin sob on the floor.
Suddenly his sobs stopped when he jumped up and tried to choke me over the rail of my bed. His partner and the other officers had to pull him off and place him under arrest right there before my eyes. When they had dragged him out of the room, I laid back and cried as the nurses came in to check me and clean me up. I closed my eyes and thought about how the events of my life had added up to what it was. I saw how my actions had indeed caused me so much pain and I prayed it was all over. I knew that there would never be a chance I could make things right with Wayne or Alvin and I didn’t care to, but I was happy that I could make amends with some of the people I had hurt. David forgave me for what I did to him and so did Neco, so I was able to see a little sunshine through the rain that had quickly become my life.
I laid there and cried for four days while I thought about how I would move forward, while I allowed myself to get well from the inside out. By Monday I was mostly healed, ready to leave the hospital and get away from all of my pain. I went straight to my condo and grabbed up my things before I went down to the office to talk to the manager. After I told her I would leave a few days early, I paid her sons to stay at my condo to let the movers in, then I hit the road. I jumped in my car without a glance back as I drove towards I-40 and a brand new life, free of the chains of yesterday. I was going to leave all the ugliness in my life behind and go to Nashville like I was intended to do. I was going to focus on Yasmine as I continued to learn to love myself. I was going to do what I promised my mama and that was to make a better life for myself. I was determined to live good in the moment, even if the man of my dreams never found me. Nothing but success, happiness, and self-love filled my mind as I drove towards my future and Monica’s song, Still Standing played in my ears.
“I been through the storm, had dirt on my name. I’m still holding on, champion of the game!” I sang as I drove towards the bright future that awaited me.
Epilogue
Life with Love…The Eternal Erotic Adventure
Life after that day I left Memphis was filled with nothing but the happiness I expected. Gone was the Yass of the past who looked for the love she needed to sustain her in others. I loved me more than ever as I quickly set into a new routine and built a life for myself. I moved into my house after I spent two days in a Nashville hotel alone as I prepared for my first day in my office. When I first walked up to the big, three-story stone house with a fountain in the front yard and koi pond filled with fish at the front door, I knew I had stepped into a different world. That first sight when I stepped inside the house I had decorated from afar, I was taken aback at the beauty. It looked just like some shit of MTV cribs with the vaulted ceilings and crown molding. The girl I had hired online saw my vision exactly and had decorated in a modern, clean look. She knew that I hated clutter and loved open spaces, so there was minimal furniture, just the bare necessities and beautiful décor everywhere.
I took my time strolling through the foyer and admired the way she hung the picture of me and my mother at my graduation right next to the door. I let my hand run across her face in the picture as I made my way down the wall of photos and followed the journey of my own life. As I walked and looked at the pictures which showed my development from a girl to a woman, I felt proud of how far I had come. By the time I got to the end of the hall which cut off in two ways, I had tears in my eyes as I thanked The Most High for my progress. There I was a hood girl who had been to jail and was from one of the worst projects in Memphis, miles away from home in Nashville, destined to live out her dream. I had gone from a battered little girl who lashed out at the world to a woman who had learned from her mistakes. After all the bad I had done, God had still given me a second chance and for that I was so grateful.
I could do nothing but laugh and scream for joy as I ran into the huge family room with big, plush, round camel colored sectional and dived on it. I laughed until I cried and then those tears turned to thanks. I thanked the Lord for his mercy as I looked around my home and vowed never to go back to where I came from. Once I finished my walk through of the house and saw that everything was exactly how I wanted it, I called Tina and told her I was in town and that I needed her assistance. As I waited on Tina, Ryan, and Kyle to arrive and help me unpack some of the boxes that lined the do
wnstairs hall that lead to the formal dining room, I stepped outside into my backyard and admired the beautiful swimming pool.
“Damn Yass, you made it. Despite it all you finally made it out. Mama, I hope you’re proud, because I did everything I said I would do. Not only did I become the lawyer you said I would always be and move out of the place that held me back for so long, I also finally let go of that pain in my heart. Thank you for keeping that darkness from me for so long mama. I know you did what you thought was best and maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. Just know that I’ve moved past that now. I’m finally happy mama. Really happy. I’m finally free, so you can rest easy knowing that your baby girl is alright.” I said as I looked up at the sky and cried my last sad tear for a long time.
Shortly after that, my doorbell rang and I jumped up from the lawn chair I had sat down on and rushed to the door. As soon as my family walked in, my house was filled with love, fun, laughter, and the delicious aroma of the food Tina had cooked and brought. For the rest of that night my family and I unpacked my house and talked about old times. In the mist of those happy moments I told my family about my therapy sessions and everything else that had happened. They all listened intently and when I was done they offered up some of the love they knew I needed.
“Baby, I’m so sorry that happened to you and I hope Wayne’s stupid ass gets life. As a matter of fact, I will make sure of it. Know that I will be right there for you during this court case from beginning to end. I’ll be right here with you through everything, because that is what family is for. We love you Yasmine and I’m so glad that things are finally falling into place like you want them to. It’s nothing but up from here baby doll, I promise.” Tina said as she hugged me and the rest of the family joined in.
My days rolled by fast after that day as I settled into my practice and focused on its success. Within two weeks I was fully staffed and had landed my first major case. Everything was perfect in my life at that point, but at night I still yearned to have someone near. I didn’t want a man for sex because that urge in me was gone, but I did still need someone to love. I hadn’t heard anything from or about Courtney at that point and in a way I wondered was it all a dream. I tried not to think about it too much though, because I knew that could easily cause me to get depressed or worse revert back to my empty, hoe-ish ways. That’s why I just focused on work and my happiness as I settled into Nashville life. For weeks I spent my days at the office and therapy as I worked on myself. My nights were spent either at home with my girl Snow or at Tina and Ryan’s house amongst family. By the time Halloween rolled around, I felt an anxiousness begin build up in me as I thought about the holiday that was next. I remembered that Kyle had said Courtney would come home for Thanksgiving, so I did all I could to rush that day.
The second week of November, my happy world was shaken as I was summoned to court on Wayne’s assault charge. I remember feeling like I would throw up as Tina and I walked into the courtroom that day and I had to face one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I took the stand on shaky legs and tried to avoid his eyes for as long as I could. I tried but it didn’t work, because as I spoke about the assault I felt compelled to stare him down.
“Face your problems head on. You can’t run away from life. Face them, let them go, and move on. When you hide and hold things in, they have power over you. Let it God and grow Yasmine.” I could hear Dr. Carrington say in my mind as I stared Wayne into his eyes.
His eyes were so blank and so cold. I almost felt sorry for him as I described our relationship, how he stalked me, how I exposed him, and how it all lead to the assault. I had to stop for a minute when I got to the part about him in my closet because I could almost feel that fear again and it took my breath away. I had to look over at Tina for strength as she nodded her head and told me to proceed. I still felt like the walls were about to close in around me though as flashes of that day took over my mind. I closed my eyes and then opened them again before I stared at the door to the courtroom. Just as I did, the doors opened up. Kyle and Ryan walked in as Courtney trailed behind them. As soon as he walked in our eyes met and I felt like time stood still. I watched them all sit down as Ryan and Kyle nodded at me while Courtney simply smiled. I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he mouthed the words, “Be strong” and I found the rest of the strength I needed.
“Ms. Anderson, please proceed. What happened once Mr. Godwin jumped out of your closet?” My lawyer asked me as I swallowed the lump in my throat and let it all out.
I poured my heart out on the stand and when it was over I could see that everyone in the jury felt me. When I walked away from that stand, I left all of it there; all of the pain and fear I held inside. The jury went out of the room and was gone a few minutes before they returned with Wayne’s guilty verdict. He was convicted on assault, stalking, intimidation, and attempted rape among other things. Once I heard the words guilty, I felt complete and got up with my family to leave the courtroom. I walked out with Tina’s hand in mine as the men followed behind us and we all discussed the case. When we got to the parking lot, all of our chatter ended as Courtney and I stood face-to-face in front of my car.
“Well we’re going to go on to the house Yasmine. I see you and Courtney need to talk, so if you want you can just come over later. Be happy Yass.” Tina said before she hugged me followed by Ryan then they walked to their car.
I watched Kyle and Courtney as they talked for a minute then I walked around to get into the driver’s seat.
“Yass, Courtney gonna ride with you since y’all need to talk. You can drop him back off at the airport because I really need to go do something real fast. See y’all folks later.” Kyle said as he smiled at me slyly from the window before he winked his eye and then leaned in to kiss me.
I made a mental note to kick his ass the next day as I laughed, while I watched him dance to his car. I knew that he was doing that just so me and Courtney could hash things out, and that he didn’t have to rush to do shit.
“Your brother a trip for real. He knows what he be doing.” Courtney said as he got into the passenger seat and I turned to look into his face.
His deep, beautiful eyes sparkled with loved as he stared back at me.
“Yass, it’s so much I want to say to you, but I can’t say it now. I have to be back on this flight in an hour. I just wanted to be sure I was here when you needed me most. Our time is coming though.” Courtney said as he leaned over and kissed me softly on my lips.
I felt an electric charge in my heart, a tingle in my spine, and butterflies in my stomach when our lips touched and I knew right then he was in fact the only one for me. For a second I got lost in my thoughts as I dreamed about our life together and his kiss lingered on my lips. His voice broke my trance though as he reiterated how he had to catch his flight. I quickly snapped out of it as I smiled at him then cranked up the car and sped off the lot. I got him to the airport in fifteen minutes flat, although I really didn’t want him to go. I felt like I had just gotten him and I didn’t want him to go so soon. However, I knew it was necessary and that we had all of the time in the world as we sat in front of the doors to the airport and stared into each other’s eyes.
“Yasmine.” Courtney finally said as he broke our trance and opened the door.
“I hope you wait on me, because I’m definitely coming back for you. I am the man of your dreams Yass. I know you can see that. I know now that you see me.” Courtney said before he leaned over and gave me a kiss so passionate I felt my toes curl.
I sat there as my body tingled and Courtney’s tongue danced on mine. I didn’t even notice he had stopped our kiss until I heard the car door close. I opened my eyes and stared at him as he ran to the door. When he got there he stopped to turn and look at me before he said the words I had waited to hear.
“I’m gonna call you when I land Yass and every day after that until I’m home for Thanksgiving. You don’t have to look or wait anymore baby, because I’m gonna be right where you are from this day
forward. I LOVE YOU YASMINE ANDERSON!” Courtney yelled before he disappeared into the doors.
“I LOVE YOU TOO COURTNEY DOWNY!” I yelled back as all the people who stood by the doors cheered.
I sat there in the unloading zone for minutes as happy tears flowed from my eyes and I rubbed my lips to remember his touch. I didn’t pull off until security made his rounds and told me I couldn’t block the fire lane. After that, I dried my tears and pulled away from the airport as I looked in the rearview for a glimpse of the man I loved. When I looked at the long window next to the security line, I saw him as he blew me a kiss and waved goodbye. That was the last image I saw as I drove away and that was enough to ease my heart. I floated on that love and anticipated happiness until Thanksgiving day had come. I didn’t even let my emotions take over when I got word that Wayne had receive 5 years on his charges that surrounded my assault and 35 years for the embezzlement charges. I just accepted the fact and moved on and put it all behind me.
As promised, Courtney had called me every day and we spent hours on the phone as we told each other everything that had happened while we were separated. I hated to tell Courtney all of the ugliness and promiscuous activities I had been involved in, but I knew if our relationship was to last it had to be based on truth. It was a lie that shattered my world with Alvin and I didn’t want to repeat that turmoil, so I told him every ugly detail as we sat on the phone one night. I expected him to hang up on me when he heard it all, but he didn’t. He just offered his love and support as he told me we could work past anything and that he would always be there.
On Thanksgiving day I got up early, anxious to finally have Courtney in my arms. I prepared my two specialty dishes; lasagna and cheesecake ahead of time and was dressed in my black cat suit and red bottoms way before it was time for dinner. I couldn’t help it, but I was so nervous because I didn’t know what they day held. I found myself wrapped up in anxiety some time later as I paced the floor in deep thought. The phone rang and broke my trance as I ran over to answer it.
Cold Piece of Work: The Erotic Adventures of A Single Woman Page 19