by T. K. Leigh
She made her way into Elsie’s office, flopping down onto a chair and crossing her arms in front of her chest, a look of resignation on her face.
Elsie closed the door and sat across from her. “Talk, Jolene.”
“But what if it’s busy out there?”
“The other girls are handling it. So talk.”
Jolene shrugged. “What do you want me to talk about?”
“Ummm… Let’s start with David Murphy.”
She hung her head in defeat, shaking it. “I can’t.”
Elsie rolled her chair closer to Jolene, careful to remain far enough away that she wouldn’t overreact. “So there is something going on with you two.”
Jolene raised her head. “I can’t talk about it. Please.”
Elsie surveyed her friend. Her usual vitality was shrouded in fear. “Did he threaten you? I knew there was a reason that he kept coming into this bar, aside from his claims to the media that he was spending part of his summer here on the island, catching up with college friends.”
Jolene stood up from the chair. “Please, Elsie. I need you to drop it.”
Elsie stared at her for several excruciatingly long moments, hoping she would crack. When the silence grew to a deafening level, she sighed. “Okay. I’m not going to beat it out of you. Just know that, if you ever need to talk, I’ll listen.”
“I know you will.” She gave her a reassuring smile before heading out of the staff room and down the long hallway toward the bar, black and silver eyes looking at her…one as if she was a piece of meat, the other as if she was a precious treasure.
Her shift flew by that night. Every time she glimpsed at the clock, she thought that just five minutes had passed, only to become anxious when she realized that over an hour had gone by. Before she knew it, she was leaving the bar, waving good night to a few of her co-workers. Surveying the empty parking lot, she wondered how far she could get before anyone realized that she was gone. Then David’s threat sounded in her head. She was trapped. She couldn’t go anywhere. She had to stay…to save Cam’s career.
She shuffled toward the street, walking despondently to the beach house that would surely become her torture chamber from that evening forward. Hearing a car roll up beside her, she kept her eyes downturned, knowing all too well who it was.
“Baby steps.”
Her head shot up when she heard that warm voice. It wasn’t who she was expecting at all.
“Get in. I’ll drive you home. It’s not safe for you to be walking.”
Jolene nodded, a sad smile crossing her face as she opened the door and settled into Cam’s Lexus. “Thanks. But you didn’t have to wait for me. I don’t want to be a burden to you,” she said as Cam drove away from the bar and toward her beach house.
“Jolene, you’re not a burden at all. You’re the furthest thing from a burden. Did you ever stop to think that I waited for you to get off of work so that I could spend time with you? Because that’s why I did…to see you. Every second I spend with you, I…”
“You what?” she asked, turning her head to look at Cam as he pulled into her driveway.
Taking a deep breath, he met her eyes. “I fall for you a little bit more.”
“Cam, I…”
“I get it, Jolene. I do. You want your space. I understand that. You’ve been on your own for so long and you hate the idea of having to depend on anyone, never knowing when they’ll betray your trust.”
Her eyes began to gloss over, wondering how he could see what she thought was buried layers beneath the surface.
“You’re scared of loving because you feel that everyone you’ve ever loved abandoned you. You’re hurt. And you’re scarred. We all are. We all suffer at times, Jolene. But we move on and meet new people who help heal those age-old wounds. Please, Jolene. Let me be the one to heal you. That’s all I ask.”
“But what if my wounds are too deep?”
“No wounds are too deep for me, Jolene.”
Leaning across the center console, she hovered her mouth over his, stealing an almost kiss. “Well, you’ve certainly got your work cut out for you, Dr. Bowen.” She closed her eyes and could feel his lips turn into a smile.
“I’m not your therapist, Jolene. I’m a friend. A friend who wants to be so much more than just a friend.”
“Me, too,” she said, pulling out of their almost kiss and opening the door to the car, standing up.
“Can I take you to dinner on Sunday?” he asked with a hopeful look in his eyes. “And then maybe you can stay over? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t going to miss you sleeping in my bed with me tonight.”
Jolene glanced at him before looking out over the crashing waves of the ocean. “I can’t,” she said quietly.
“Can’t what? Go to dinner?”
She flung her eyes back to his. “No. I can go to dinner, but…”
“Okay. I get it,” he interrupted, recalling last night.
“I want to stay over. I really do, but…” She bit her lip nervously.
“Say no more. You need time. Whenever you’re ready, the invitation stands. I’ll pick you up at seven on Sunday. Hope you like oysters.”
Jolene simply nodded before closing the car door and climbing the steps up to the deck. A dark Town Car drove down the sandy road and her hands shook in panic. She barely had the key in the door when she felt a dark presence behind her.
“So you’ve given some thought to our arrangement then. Is that right?”
She reeled around, willing herself to find the inner strength to get through the night. Men like him lived off of instilling fear in women. He could have her body, but he could not have her fear. She refused to give it to him.
“I don’t really have a choice now, do I?” she hissed.
David pulled back, surprised at her response and the feisty attitude.
“Hmmm… You’re mad. That’s good. Just remember your place and your little Dr. Bowen will be able to keep his job. Got it?”
She glowered at him, anger rising in her blood.
“Let me in, princess,” he demanded, running his hand the length of her torso. Her skin burned where his fingers had been. Spinning back around, she unlocked the front door and allowed him to enter.
“Pour me a scotch, will ya?” he said, loosening his tie and shrugging out of his jacket.
“I don’t have any.”
“Well, that’s not a very good start.” Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her body against his before slamming her into the wall. “Remember this for next time. If I want a scotch, I expect a scotch. Now, say you’re sorry.”
“I’m sorry,” she said through clenched teeth.
Raising his hand, he slapped her across the face, the impact forcing her to fall to the ground, screaming out from the shock and the pain.
“Enough with the lip, Jolene. You will be docile. You will be quiet. And, most importantly, you will be obedient. Understand?”
Glaring, her lower lip trembled as she fought against her tears. She nodded her head in defeat, hating that he saw her breaking in front of his eyes.
“Good. Now go clean up. I can’t be expected to fuck you when you smell like a crappy bar. That’s disgusting. I expect you clean, shaven, and naked on your bed in ten minutes. You do not want to see me angry. Got it?”
She nodded slightly.
“I said, got it?!” he roared, grabbing her hair and lifting her off the ground. “You answer me when I’m talking to you!”
“Yes!” she shouted.
Slapping her face again, he held on to her body to prevent her from falling. “Yes, what?” he growled.
“Yes, sir,” she sobbed out meekly.
A sly grin crossed his face. “There’s my princess. Now go get ready.” He ran his tongue against her neck before forcefully pushing her away from him.
She stumbled on unsteady legs up the stairs and into her bathroom. Surveying the blood streaming from her eyebrow, she prayed that she would be able to explain the bruises and cu
ts with no one seeing the truth.
As she lay on her bed that night with David’s sweaty, filthy body breathing on top of her, a lone tear fell down her face, and she promised herself that it would be the last one.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
TRUST
“HEY, BABY STEPS,” JOLENE heard the following morning as she sat on her deck, her eyes covered with dark sunglasses. Drinking her coffee, she watched the crashing waves, the sudden urge to run into the ocean and let the sea take control engulfing her.
She plastered a fake smile on her face and looked at Cam as he stood on her front steps in his wetsuit. “Hey, Casanova. Want a coffee?” She slowly began to raise herself off the chair.
“You sit. I can get it.”
She nodded, lowering herself back down, fighting off the urge to wail from the pain coursing through her body from everything she had endured last night. The emotional scars would take a long time to heal.
“What the fuck happened in here?!” Cam said loudly.
Jolene’s heart raced. Shit, she said to herself, suddenly realizing that she had left the living room exactly as it was the night before. Her blood still streaked the floor where she fell to the ground from the force of David’s brutal assault.
Cam appeared in the doorway, taking several deliberate strides toward where she sat on the deck, her body rigid. Alarm bells began sounding when he realized she was wearing yoga pants and a long-sleeved shirt in the humid July heat. Sitting on the stool in front of her, a look of urgency crossed his face.
“Take off your sunglasses, Jolene.”
“It’s nothing, Cam,” she said nonchalantly, a vibrant smile crossing her face, trying to mask the panic flowing through her veins at the thought of being caught in her web of lies. “It was dark when I got home last night and I tripped and fell.”
She hesitantly took her sunglasses off, revealing her bruises and cuts.
“Are you sure that’s all that happened?” he questioned as his eyes examined her face. “You can tell me if something’s not right.”
She raised her hand and delicately caressed his face, playing with the bit of stubble that had grown overnight.
“It’s nothing, Cam. I’m just clumsy from time to time. That’s all.” She cupped his cheek, hoping to distract him from the bigger issue by touching him.
“Jolene, seriously. What is going on?” His eyes were intense and she quickly withdrew her hand, putting her sunglasses back on. “I can help you, whatever it is. You don’t have to lie to me. That…” he said, stopping short. He took a deep breath. “That is not from a simple fall, Jolene. You can tell me.” He kneeled in front of her, pleading as he continued, “Did something happen to you?”
She rolled her eyes, pissed that he could see right through all her tricks and games. “What hasn’t happened to me?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” she hissed, raising her voice.
“That. Stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself. You have a past. I get that. I don’t care about that. It’s shaped who you are and, goddammit, will you just see that you’re such a strong, amazing, gorgeous woman who I…”
“Who you what?” she asked with a quiver in her voice, her body warming at the depth and fire behind his eyes. But there was something else there, too. Something she knew she didn’t deserve.
“Who I admire, Jolene,” he said, sighing deeply. “Who I wish could finally see herself as I see her. Who I wish would stop lying to all of the people who care about her. And, most importantly, who I wish would stop lying to herself.”
“It’s not that easy, Cam.”
“Just answer me this question, and please be honest. Has someone hurt you? Last night? In there?” He gestured toward the front door. “Did someone find you?”
Jolene scanned the beach, the large deck seeming so small under Cam’s inquisitive stare.
“Please, Jolene. Just tell me the truth.”
She took a deep breath and returned her eyes to his. “No. Just like I said…” she started, a lone tear falling down her cheek. She hated herself for that tear, especially after the promise she made to herself last night. “I fell.”
“Take off your sunglasses and say that.” His expression was void of all emotion as he waited for her to comply with his request.
Removing the shades from her face, she glared at him. “Like I said, Dr. Bowen, I fucking fell. Now stop trying to make it seem like I’m a helpless victim. I’m not. Like you said, I’m strong. And I’d appreciate it if you would stop accusing me of lying to you. Stop trying to think that you can come in here and fix me. Leave that for your actual patients.” She stood up, heading toward the front door.
He followed her across the deck. “Is that what you think I’m doing? I just want to…”
“I know, I know.” She spun around, her eyes on fire. “Help me. Please, Cam.” Her voice changed from firm to soft. “I’m fine. I don’t want you always worrying about me. It’s exhausting. I just want you to trust me. Trust that I will tell you if something is not okay. Then I can learn to trust you, and finally…” She gazed off in the distance as a black Town Car drove down the street. Was he going to constantly keep tabs on her?
“Finally what?”
She turned up her lips slightly in the corner, a small smile crossing her face. Slowly raising herself on her toes, she breathed against his mouth. “Finally let you touch me. I want that more than anything, Cam. So, please, trust me, and I’ll be able to trust you. Okay?”
He stared into her clear blue eyes, his blood warming from the closeness of her body. Her breath smelled like a combination of hazelnut and a sweet, sultry scent.
“Okay. But just so you know, I do trust you. And we’ll take this at your own pace, baby steps.”
Jolene giggled.
“I love that sound.” He hovered over her lips a moment more before pulling back, needing to keep his distance from her before he could no longer hide his aroused state.
“I’m going to catch some waves. I’ll come see you before I have to go to work. Okay?”
She nodded.
Cam waved at her as he walked off the deck, unable to shake the feeling that, regardless of all her assurances and promises, she was lying to him about what happened last night.
~~~~~~~~~~
EVERY DAY BECAME THE same for Jolene. Get up. Make coffee. Put on a smile. Sit on the deck and wait for Cam to arrive. Be cheerful. Make jokes. Listen to him tell her how much he loved her wit and sarcasm. Die a little more inside, knowing that it wasn’t who she really was. She wanted him to know the true Jolene, but that would mean telling him about her past, and she most certainly could not do that. Her present was too tenuous.
Some evenings they went out to dinner. She enjoyed her time with him, especially their almost kisses. He was the only ray of light in her world of darkness. She often wondered how much longer he could possibly be patient with their baby steps, but he was.
She dreaded the night, never knowing if she would have an unexpected visitor. He demanded a key and she had to obey, or Cam’s life would be destroyed. She pondered the irony of it all. She was ruining her own life so that Cam’s livelihood could remain intact.
On the nights that she got home from a date with Cam, David would be angry. He said he didn’t like to share, but she reminded him that it was necessary to not raise suspicion. Neither of them could afford anyone knowing about their arrangement, although he cautioned her time and again that it was the word of an upstanding, well-respected U.S. Senator against the word of a whore. And she knew that he was right. No one would believe her even if she did say something, but she never did. Fear forced her to remain silent.
Over the weeks, Cam noticed that something had changed in Jolene. She was on edge. Whenever they were out somewhere, she appeared carefree and at ease with him, but the moment he dropped her off at the beach house, she closed up.
At first, he thought that she was just nervous about him touching her again,
especially after her reaction the night of the kiss. But the more he thought about it, the less sense that made. She had gone to his house for dinner several times over the past few months and they would sit on the couch together, watching movies. He would put his arm almost around her, and they would almost kiss as she straddled him, making herself come when she ground against him. He grew uneasy thinking that his own beach house was holding her back. Maybe getting her away from everything would help her open up and bring back the spirited, fiery Jolene.
“Pack your bags, baby steps,” Cam said one morning toward the end of September.
She looked up from her book, smiling when she saw him leaning against the railing on her front deck, his arms crossed over his chest, making her heart flutter.
“Are we going somewhere?” she asked, raising her eyebrows, attempting to maintain her composure. “Or are you finally sick of me squatting in your prime ocean-front rental property?”
He took several deliberate steps toward her, leaning down, his lips almost flush with hers. “How many times do we need to have this conversation, Jolene? I couldn’t think of any other person I’d rather have living in this house.”
“Is that the truth?” she breathed against his mouth. “Or are you just saying that in hopes that I finally let you kiss me again?”
“Oh, Jolene. I’ve been quite enjoying almost kissing you these past several months. It almost makes me want to never taste your lips again.”
“Really?” she asked with a pout on her face.
“Almost. Not quite. But not until you’re ready.” His lips nearly brushed against hers. “Now, go pack your bags. I’m taking you on a road trip.”
“I have to work,” she said nervously, floundering to come up with a believable excuse.
Cam pulled back, smirking. “No, you don’t. I happen to be close friends with your boss. You’re off for the weekend. I’ll be back in an hour to pick you up.”