by T. K. Leigh
“Don’t let him back into your head. That’s the hard part about talking about things. It brings up memories and you start to relive what you went through, what happened to you. The sights. The smells. The feelings. The anger. The hate. The rage. The helplessness. At some point, you will get past it all. You’re not worthless. You’re a treasure. You made me believe in love again after having my heart broken. And, just for the record, Jolene… I would marry you in a heartbeat, if you’d let me.”
“Really?” Her voice rose in pitch in disbelief.
He nodded his head, a look of serenity washing over him. “Really. I don’t ever want to wake up again without you by my side. I know we’ve only known each other for a few months, but in that short time, I’ve realized that I don’t want to go another day without telling you exactly how important you are to me.”
Jolene searched Cam’s eyes. “You would really want to marry me? And I hope you’re not just saying that because you’re pushing forty.”
He chuckled loudly. “I’d marry you even if I was only twenty.”
“But then I’d only be ten, and I’m pretty sure that would be frowned on.”
“Am I going to have to put up with age jokes for the rest of my life?”
Nodding fervently, she ginned. “Yup. Creepy old man wanting to marry a woman ten years younger.”
“Hey. What can I say? I have good taste. And you have an old soul that spoke to me the minute I saw you.”
“Well, I’ll tell you what, Casanova. If you really want to marry me, I’ll say yes, just as long as you pop the question in a way that makes me completely weak in my knees. I want it to be a moment I’ll never forget. I want it to erase all of the…”
Cam crushed his lips against hers, cutting her off. He wanted to erase all of the bad memories, too.
The phone immediately began ringing loudly and Cam groaned, not wanting to leave Jolene’s lips for all the money in the world.
“You should probably get that,” she said, her mouth moving against his.
“It can wait.”
“What if it’s a patient emergency?”
He grumbled something incoherent and pulled away from her, grabbing his cell phone. “Dr. Bowen.”
“Cam. It’s Else. You will not believe this.”
“What?”
“Well, I was working the lunch shift today and a man came in claiming to be Jolene’s father. He showed me a police badge and everything. He and his buddy saw the video and got on a plane. I’m glad we’ve got her hidden away, just to be on the safe side.”
“Yeah. I agree.”
“So, what do I do?”
“Is it her father?”
“Hell if I know for sure. What’s her father’s name?”
“Hold on a second.” He covered the phone with his hand before turning to Jolene. “What’s your father’s name?”
She looked at him. “Why?”
“Humor me for a minute.”
“Greg. Gregory Matsen.”
“You don’t have the same last name?”
“No. He had my name changed when I was a baby, I guess. Gave me Holly’s last name.”
“Do you know why?”
“No. I never really questioned it, though, because Holly raised me, so I liked having her last name.”
He nodded before turning his attention back to the phone. “Else, are you still there?”
“Yup. Got a name, Casanova?”
“Gregory Matsen.”
“Fuck,” Elsie said. “It’s her dad.”
“Let me call you back.” He placed the phone on the coffee table, meeting Jolene’s eyes.
“What? What is it?” There was a look of worry on her face.
Inhaling deeply, he grabbed her hands in his. He didn’t know too much about the relationship she had with her father, but he was aware that she carried some resentment toward the man, thinking that he preferred alcohol over his own daughter.
“Jolene, I just want you to know that I love you very much and no matter what you decide you want to do, I will support you one-hundred percent. I’m not going to pressure you to do something you aren’t comfortable doing.”
“You’re scaring me, Cam. Please, just tell me what’s going on.”
He gently caressed her cheek, thankful that the swelling and physical scars had diminished. He could finally see his Jolene again. “Your father’s here. Well, at Slider’s. He’s looking for you.”
Tears began falling down her face. “What is he doing here? How did he find me?” she cried out.
Cam wrapped his arms around her, comforting her. “I’m not exactly sure,” he lied, not wanting to say that he was able to track her down because Senator Murphy had leaked her location across the country. “But he did, just like you said you wished he did all those years ago.”
She nodded, soaking his shirt with her tears. “But if he was able to find me…” Pulling back, her eyes met his and he could see the panic within.
“Don’t even think about that, Jolene. Nothing will happen to you while I’m around. I swear to you.”
“Can I see him? My dad?”
“If you’re sure that’s what you want, absolutely. I’ll have him come over here. This is good for you.” He placed a gentle kiss on her head.
“Cam, do you think I’ll ever be able to forgive him? If it wasn’t for his drinking…”
“Jolene, baby, don’t think about it. All you need to know is that he found you. Listen to him. To his story. To his side of things. He’s probably been living with his guilt for years. Maybe he just needs to see you and know that you’re okay. That way he can move on, just like you’re trying to do.”
A small smile crossed Jolene’s face. “You’re so good to me. Do you know that?”
He shrugged, raising himself off the couch and gazing at the beautiful woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. “Maybe. I just want to do right by you. That’s all.”
~~~~~~~~~~
A QUIET KNOCK SOUNDED on the door several hours later and Jolene’s heart began thumping in her chest, wondering how she would react when she set eyes on the man that gave her up so easily in favor of the bottle.
Sensing her anxiety, Cam grabbed her hand, hoping that his simple act would give her strength for what he could only imagine would be a difficult day. “If it’s too much, I can tell him to come back another time…when you’re feeling better.”
“No. I’m actually okay,” she admitted after some thought. “A year ago, or even a month ago, I would have been petrified to face him. But now, here, with you… I don’t know. My past doesn’t scare me anymore. I’m not going to let it define who I am. I’m going to define who I am. Nothing or no one else.”
“Good. You ready?”
She nodded and Cam brushed his lips against hers before raising himself off the couch to answer the door. Just before he opened it, he turned and met Jolene’s eyes again. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I can do this.”
“That’s my girl.” Cam returned his attention to the door, opening it. Elsie stood there with two men who appeared to be in their late fifties or early sixties. One was rather tall and extremely fit, his hair turning gray in a distinguished kind of way. His blue eyes sparkled and Cam had a feeling that he was Jolene’s father. The other man was shorter with balding hair. He looked slightly weathered and was overweight. They both certainly gave off the appearance of working in the law enforcement field.
“This is Cam,” Elsie said, striking up a conversation. “He’s the wonderful man that’s been taking care of our Jolene. And this…” She turned to the taller man. “This is Jolene’s father, Greg. And his former partner on the police force, Mark. Make friends.”
“I like this one,” Mark said. “Too bad she’s about thirty years too young.”
“And taken,” Elsie said. “But I like you, too, Mark.” She winked. “Come on. You can buy me a drink while we let Jolene and her dad catch up.”
Mark looked at
her, troubled.
“No,” a quiet voice called out from within the apartment. “He was like a second father to me. He stays.”
Greg’s eyes widened in response to that familiar voice. It was more mature than the teenage voice he remembered, but he wouldn’t mistake it for anything.
“Jolene?” he quivered, looking to Cam for permission to enter.
He nodded, stepping aside to let him in.
“Is that really you, peanut?”
Tears filled Jolene’s eyes when she saw her father walk into the living room, rushing to the couch. “Daddy?” she cried out, her voice shaking. She had so much she wanted to say to him. She wanted to scream, and yell, and shout, and cry. But she also wanted to feel the love he had for her. She saw it now. That was the look he had on his face when she fell out of the big oak tree in the front yard and broke her arm when she was just eight. He must have seen it happening and ran to her, his eyes wide with worry. The look on his face was the same as it was all those years ago.
“Jolene…peanut?” Greg wrapped his arms around her, unable to believe his eyes. After all his years of following one false lead after another, he was shocked to actually be face-to-face with his daughter. “I’m so sorry. I was never the father you needed or deserved. I regret everything. It’s all my fault.”
He pulled back, looking at his daughter, checking out her bruises and noticing that her leg was elevated and a set of crutches were propped on the end of the couch. “What happened? Who hurt you?”
She rolled her eyes, wiping her cheek. “That’s a loaded question, Greg,” she said under her breath.
Cam sat next to Jolene, grabbing her hand in his. “Wait, if this is your father, then how come you call him Greg?”
“Because she was a pain in the ass when she was a little girl and insisted on it, isn’t that right?”
Jolene laughed through her tears, looking at Cam. “Yup, I did. My mama called him Greg, so I wanted to call him Greg, too.” She met her father’s eyes once more, her emotions overtaking her again. “But I promised myself that if you ever found me, I’d call you daddy. I love you, Daddy,” she sobbed. “And I forgive you.”
Greg wiped his daughter’s tears. “Oh, pumpkin. I’ve been wanting to hear those words come out of your mouth for more than ten years. I’ll never let you down again. I promise.”
Cam smiled at the ease that Jolene seemed to have as she stayed enclosed in her father’s embrace, thinking how, just a few months ago, she wouldn’t let anyone touch her. He just hoped that it was his doing that made her realize that it was healthy to receive love. That love wasn’t something of which she should be frightened. That a simple touch could make her feel someone’s love.
“You remember Mark, don’t you, Jolene?” Greg said, pulling away from his daughter’s delicate frame and nodding toward his former partner.
Jolene wiped her eyes and set her gaze on the short man standing just a few feet away, thinking that he had eaten a few too many doughnuts over the years. She remembered Mark being relatively in shape, just like her father. The years weren’t good to him, but she was happy to see him nonetheless.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said gently. “I’ve missed whooping your ass in blackjack.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Who whooped whose ass? I seem to recall a few nights you were in town visiting that you got all bent out of shape when a nine-year-old girl beat you and you left with your tail between your legs.”
“Rematch later?”
“Definitely.”
Jolene spent the next several hours catching up with her father. They laughed and cried, sometimes both at the same time. Toward the end of the evening, her eyes started to get heavy and the pain from her ribs had returned.
“Come on, peaches,” Cam said, leaning down and scooping her up in his arms. “You need rest.”
“But I don’t want to miss anything,” she complained through her yawn.
“Listen to Cameron,” Greg said. “He’ll take good care of you now.”
Cam sent her father an appreciative look before carrying Jolene down the hallway and into the master bedroom. “I’m so proud of you. You were so strong today. I hope you realize how big of a step this was.” He placed her on the bed and began to help her out of her clothes.
“Even though I have trouble bathing, I can change into my pajamas without your help. You know that, right?”
“But what fun would that be?” he said with a wink.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” She leaned back against the pillow and raised her hips so that he could slide her yoga pants off her before helping her into a pair of silky sleep shorts.
“If you’re referring to taking care of the woman I love, yes. I don’t enjoy having to help you change your clothes because it’s my fault that…”
Jolene quickly grabbed Cam’s arm, getting his attention. “Don’t think that. Please. I don’t want you to think that you could have done anything to prevent what happened. Even if you…” She stopped short, the memory of Cam throwing money at her as she begged for him to believe her still fresh in her mind. “It would have happened no matter what. It wasn’t the first time that he…”
“That day!” he exclaimed passionately. “I knew it! That day that the living room was all in disarray and you were wearing sunglasses. Did he…?”
Jolene slowly nodded her head.
“How many times did he hurt you?”
Meeting his intense eyes, she gave the only answer she could. “Every time, Cam. Every time he fucked me, whether he hit me or not, he killed me a little bit more.”
He shuddered at the tone of her voice.
“And the reason it felt like another stab to my heart was because of you.”
He pulled back, a look of wonder on his face. “Me?”
Her lips turned up slightly as she tenderly stroked his cheek. “Because even back then, I think I loved you. I cried myself to sleep every night, not for what I had to endure, but for what I was doing to you by letting that man do what he wanted with me. I could deal with that. I had in the past. But I hated the thought of betraying you. Hurting you. Destroying you.”
He crushed his lips to hers. “You can be so goddamn frustrating, yet so incredibly amazing at the same time. Do you know that?”
“So can you.” She opened her mouth, giving him permission to enter. Their tongues danced and Jolene moaned into the kiss, the passion behind it more fulfilling than any of their previous kisses. Lifting her hips, she tried to wrap her legs around Cam’s waist, crying out from the pain.
“Oh, Jolene. I’m so sorry.”
“Goddammit! Do you have any idea how sexually frustrated I am right now?”
Cam grinned. “I’m pretty sure I have a very good idea. But just think how amazing that first orgasm will be. And, Jolene, I cannot wait to see that.”
“You know what, Cam?”
“Yes?”
“Our love... It’s like the love you watch in the movies or read about in books. But the best part of our love? It’s real. It’s not fake. It’s pure. It’s simple, yet earned at the same time. I never thought that I’d find my happily ever after, that I’d find somebody like you. But I’m so grateful that I did. I love you.”
He leaned down and gingerly swept his lips against her forehead. “I love you, too, peaches. More than you can possibly imagine. You’re my happily ever after. Sleep well. I’ll be right outside in the living room, should you need anything.”
Her body warmed from his sensual and caring words. “Thank you.”
He quietly left the bedroom and made his way down the hallway to the living room, joining Elsie, Mark, and Greg.
“Your friend here has been giving us a little bit of info on what happened to Jolene,” Greg said when Cam reappeared and took a seat in a recliner, facing them.
“Why don’t we start at the beginning,” Cam said, his voice stern. “Jolene was able to forgive you so that she can move on with her life, which is important to her
. But I want to understand what the hell happened. Let’s start with her mom. Her real mom.”
Greg slumped his shoulders forward, knowing that he needed to eventually tell the truth. Hesitantly, he started, “You see, I loved Jolene’s mother very much. And I failed her. Jolene has her eyes. And her smile.” He fished his wallet out of his pocket and handed a photo to Cam. “That’s her. That’s my Angelina. Angie.”
Cam scanned the crinkled picture of a blonde woman with a striking resemblance to Jolene, other than the hair color. “What happened to her? I have a feeling there’s more to the story than her dying in childbirth. I’m not new to the game. All of my patients who have been through similar experiences as Jolene…”
“Wait a second. Patients?” Mark interrupted.
“I’m a psychiatrist, and I have a handful of patients who have also been the victims of human trafficking.” He nodded toward Greg. “Like your daughter. I think between what I know from what Jolene’s told me and your story, we may be able to put all the pieces together and end this. She needs closure. You need closure. I need closure. I won’t be able to sleep until I know that the bastard who put the fear in her is no longer able to torment any other women out there.”
Greg took a deep breath. “Angie was beautiful. She could have been a model. Her eyes were so blue, they popped off her face. It was a color that was bluer than the bluest ocean. In those eyes were my peace, my salvation, and her downfall. She said some guy promised her modeling jobs, that her face would be on the billboard in Times Square. She never told me the name. Her parents wanted her to go to college and get an education, but you try telling a seventeen-year-old girl that she has to go to college instead of making money modeling, so she ran away. She was put to work as a waitress to help cover all the money he said he was spending to get her modeling career started. I doubt the bastard ever had head shots taken.”
He took a long drag from his soda. “I don’t know all the details, it was difficult for her to talk about, but what I do know is that I fell in love with her almost immediately and would do anything to protect her. But it wasn’t enough.”