“I'm doing this for Leanne,” I say to myself over and over again. Will my mom approve? No, she won't, but she did tell me to protect Leanne and not let anything happen to her since I'm all she has, although I feel like I failed at keeping her safe. Now I really regret letting her go to that fucking party. I should have gone and stayed with her at least, but it's too late now.
I shake my head and sigh as I put the gun back in the safe and closed the door, locking it back up. Do I really need to do this? Why would they take the only person I have left in my life? I stand back up and walk back inside the house and up to my room to try to get some sleep.
*****
I couldn't sleep at all last night, I was up thinking about what the I-Ten Crew could be doing with my sister. Out my bedroom window the morning light shines through, I look over to my clock and it reads seven. Shit my windows! I think of the worst possible scenario of what else could happen to it while it was out there all night and I sprint downstairs snatching the keys off the kitchen counter where I last left them and head out the door. Relieved that its still there, I get in the car starting up the engine and pull out of the driveway. I drive down the road looking for the nearest window replacement shop, and after a few moments of driving around, I pull up to Tony's Auto Glass Shop. It's in red letters on the tall black building, the whole front of the store filled with glass windows. A man dressed in a dark blue jumpsuit is standing out front, opening the gate lock. He looks like he's in his mid to late forties. I park in front of the building and quickly get out, leaving my car on and the door open.
“Can I help you?” the man asks me with his eyebrow raised.
“Yes, please. Are you open yet?” I ask.
“Just about. What do you need?” For a moment, I look back at my Mustang, thinking that it is rather obvious, but when he doesn’t get the hint, I speak up.
“Uhh, my car side windows are all busted up. Are you able to do it today or do I have to make an appointment?” I say, my voice cracked a bit.
He looks at my car and his eyes grow wide as he can see all the windows are completely shattered.
“Yeah, I can take care of it right away. Bring it on in,” he motions as he opens up the gate.
“Thank you so much.” I head back to my car, driving it through the opening and into the parking lot.
He leans down on the passenger side window and looks at the framing.
“What year is this?” He questions as he continues to look it over.
“A 2001 Ford Mustang.” I confirm, getting out of the car.
“Ahh, good. We have the model for your windows.” He says pleased.
I sigh loudly in relief that he does. Thank god.
Chapter 6
After a few hours of sitting in the small waiting room at the car shop, my Mustang is finally done. I look over my car and it looks brand new. The new windows are cut and clean, my interior has been vacuumed out and the smell on a pine tree fills the air inside. I love it and I'm very satisfied.
“Thank you so much again for taking me in early and having my windows done on the same day,” I say to Dave as I shake his hand.
“No problem if you have anymore issues just give me a call,” he says as he hands me his business card.
“Will do and thank you again.” I greet him with a smile and end up handing him a ten dollar tip.
I hop into my car and turn on my radio, turning the volume on the lowest level. I drive around for an hour or two, trying to see if I can find Leanne on the streets again. The note that was left in my car the other night drives me insane and the fucking phone call from Kristen makes it even worse. I don't want to believe this is happening to me. I hope I wake the fuck up soon and all this would be a fucking dream and I'd find Leanne sleeping soundly in her bed. I feel so damn empty inside without my sister. I need her here with me more than ever now since mom died. She's all I ever worry about. I know I failed at keeping her safe and I feel like rabid animals are eating away at my soul. For a minute, I wonder what my mom fucking thinks of me now and I debate on whether I should take a visit to her grave. After several minutes of it scrolling around my mind, I decide not to.
Suddenly my phone rings and buzzes on the passenger seat. I pick it up without looking to see who is calling keeping my eyes on the road ahead of me.
“Hello?”
“Did you find her yet?” Jessie’s voice plays over softly and I can sense she's worried. Brandon must have told her what happened.
“No, not yet, I'm still out looking for her but-” I cut off, not wanting to tell her I know who has her. It will just worry her more and probably make her feel guiltier than she already is.
“I tried calling her phone, but it keeps going to voice mail. I'm sacred, Collin. Where is she?” her words quieter than before and her voice cracking. I can hear her quietly sniffling through the phone, meaning she must be crying.
“Don't worry, Jessie, I'm a find her, I promise you.” I try to comfort her, but I know that I don’t have much time. I pause, thinking to myself at how I hope that the conversation is short.
“Okay Collin, please call me when you do and I'm so sorry. I- I should have had her stay close to me.” Her voice is sincere and I know that she means it, but I don’t know if I can forgive her, or anyone for what happened just yet.
I sigh before replying. “It's okay.” I nod. “Get some rest, I'll call to check on you later,” I reply.
“Okay, bye.”
“Bye.”
She hangs up and I toss my phone back to the passenger seat and grip the steering wheel as tight as I possibly can. My foot eases more and more on the gas until I'm almost going seventy-five miles per hour and my anger boils up more and more. I take a deep breath and exhale as I can hear my mom’s voice now.
“Don't drive to fast, Collin. I don't need to lose my only wonderful son.”
I chuckle and shake my head at the thought of it. I ease my foot off the gas pedal a little and drive back at the normal speed as I pass by my mom's favorite restaurant 'JACKAL'S'. She loved going there. I smile as I see the people in the window inside, enjoying breakfast and being around family and friends. I smirk and put my eyes back on the road, thinking about the memories that Leanne, mom, and I all created there. A little while later, I drive past a park slowly hoping to see if Leanne is there, even though I know damn well the I-Ten's have her, but I wonder where are they located?
*****
Later on, I finally arrive back home and I notice some purple spray paint on the front windows and door. I get out of the car and shut my eyes, hoping that it is just my imagination, but when I open them back up, its still there.
“What the hell?” I whisper to myself as I slam my car door and run up the one of the windows to get a closer look. It reads I-Ten with the gang sign underneath it. OH SHIT! How the fuck did they know I lived here? They have never been to my house before.
I run to the gate to the backyard that has been busted open, the lock hanging off the wooden fence. The paint is on all of those windows too, even the upstairs windows are vandalized as well as the walls. I instantly try to think how the fuck did they get up there? And then it hits me. Fuck! The house! I run to the front and stand by the door I reach my hand out and push the door open slowly and it makes a squeaking noise as I do. I open it more and walk in, my eyes growing wide with shock and anger. They took it too damn far. My fucking house is destroyed, I realize as I walk in to the disaster.
Lamps are broken and scattered everywhere. Picture frames damaged, the walls tagged up, and the kitchen is a mess. Dishes are broken and spread all over the kitchen floor and blinds are torn down. The cabinet doors and drawers have been ripped off its hinges, the pipes busted and water spraying everywhere. I kneel down to turn off the water valve from under the sink to stop the water from spewing everywhere, but my anger is through the roof now. As I head up the stairs, I brace myself for what they might have done to mine and Leanne's room, let alone my mom's room. I walk slowly into my m
om's room first, when I open the door I see the room has not been touched, just the outside windows have been sprayed. I tilt my head to one side in confusion and wonder why they didn't fuck up her room. I am thankful that they didn't, but what made them leave it alone?
I shake my head and walk into my room and see that it's been destroyed. Of course they would, I don't even care if my room is fucked up so I close the door and head to Leanne's room and her room has also been left alone. Why the fuck would they mess up the downstairs area and my room only? I run my hands up and down my face in frustration, but in slight relief.
I go back downstairs and try to pick up some of the mess they had made. Immediately, I know I'm going to need someone to fix all the cabinets and plumbing and shit, but that's the least of my worries, at least for now. As I'm cleaning up, I spot another yellow note on the counter. Again, I don't know why I didn't see this in the first damn place, but I sigh and open the note.
This is your SECOND warning.
My fucking second warning. I should have known by how many times I have fucked up someone’s house ‘cause we didn't get what we wanted? This is fucking me up bad. I take a deep breath and exhale as I refold the note up, putting it in my back pocket. I go back outside and take a seat on the front porch, my mind spins on what I need to do to get my sister back.
Why does this shit have to happen to me? Why now?
I better go see my mom about this.
Chapter 7
My mind races on all the shit that has been happening to me these past two days, and it's making me screwed up in my head bad. I will never understand why they have Leanne and what do they need her for? Why couldn't they just come after me and not her since she didn't do shit to them. I get up and head back into my car, starting it up and head down the road to the nearest flower shop I can find.
I walk into the place and the bell rings as I push the door open and it smells of roses. The room is brightly lit and the air in the place feels cool and fresh. The guy at the register keeps his gaze on me, I'm not looking at him, but I can feel it. I walk up and down the aisle trying to find the perfect shade of purple roses for my mom’s tombstone which I spend a few minutes doing so and succeed. I hold the neatly wrapped and beautifully decorated bouquet of roses giving a small smile. Perfect for my mom. Walking up to the cashier to pay, I take a small smell of the roses.
“How are you today?” he asks, his tone void of compassion.
Like he gives a fuck. “Fine and you?” I respond, my tone matching his and my eyes focused on him.
He scans the roses and nods.
“Will that be all?” Flat, like a tire that blew on the highway. Flat, like a popped balloon.
“Yeah,” I say, annoyed. Why does he keep looking at me like he's got a fucking problem or something?
“That will be fifteen dollars even.” His eyes never leave mine as he rips off the price tag before handing the roses to me. I wish he would wipe that fucking smirk off his face. I ignore it and give him sixteen dollars cash.
“Keep the change,” I say in a gruff tone and walk out the door.
I get into the car and set the flowers down on the passenger seat, switching on the ignition and driving down the road to my mom's grave site.
*****
After a while, I finally make it to my mom's grave. I walk around the other tombstones and try to find hers. I always seem to forget where she is at, so I guess I better start visiting her more often, but I know she's always around me in spirit. When I finally find her grave, I take a seat on the bench across from her, keeping the roses in my hand.
I smile and think back to when all I use to get her is purple roses; her birthday, mothers day, hell, even Christmas. She'd put on a huge grin and her eyes would light up with excitement. She would give me a big, tight hug and a kiss on the cheek, then she'd immediately take out the old ones and put the new ones in the vase with fresh water. Even when the roses died overtime, she would keep them there till she had new ones. I always loved that she cherished the little things.
I take a knee in front of her, setting the roses down next to her tombstone. Then, taking one of the roses out and rolling the stem in my hand, nervously, I take a few moments to gather my thoughts, trying to figure out what I want to say to her.
I sigh before I speak.
“I already know that you're probably pissed at me for not watching over Leanne... But I know who has her and I'm sure you do too. I hope they're not harming her in any way and I'd go ballistic if I see one scratch on her. I pray that you are keeping an eye on her till I get there, Ma. I know you been watching over us these last few years and I'm sure you noticed that I have changed. I actually am proud of myself and I hope you are too. I had a feeling this shit was going to come back and bite me... I wish it didn't and hoping it wasn't, but it did and I know I have to handle it like a man. I- I don't want to do this, but I have to get Leanne home safely, even if that means going back in to my old gang then so be it, knowing you don't approve of it, mom, but I stuck out for as long as I could.”
I sigh before continuing. “I made you a promise that I wasn't going to step one foot back in the gang, but now it has to be broken in order to keep Leanne safe. It’s her life over mine. I do apologize in advance. I ask of you again, please to keep her safe till I get there, mom,” I say to her as a tear falls down my cheek. I wipe it away as I put the purple rose I took from the bouquet, laying it in front of her tombstone. I sit back up on the bench as my eyes gloss over the fancy lettering.
My mind is racing and it's hard to keep focus as I'm telling her this. I start to flash back to all the shit I did or had done to people, things I'm not proud of, things I wouldn't let someone do to my own damn family. I regret it now, but back then I couldn’t care less about what was done, as long as we got what we came for all the shit in between didn't fucking matter.
This has to be my fucking Karma.....
*****
The next day, I finish up fixing of what I can do with the house. It still pisses me off that they fucked it up, but I know why. I tend to think of what they might do next to me every now and then. First, they messed up my car and now my house. I don't own anything else except my life. The only thing for me to worry about is what the hell are they doing to my sister? Is she out doing God knows what or locked up somewhere, waiting for me to get to her?
I grab my phone on the kitchen counter and scroll through my contact list till I reach Leanne's number. Should I press the call button? Will they pick up or will it go straight to voice mail? I sigh as I hover my finger over the green phone icon, my heart pounding in my ears, and just press it, it rings once and goes to voice mail.
God fucking damn it.
Chapter 8
The last three days have been fucking horrible. I haven't been able to sleep much or eat since Leanne went missing. I went to every place I could think of and I tried calling the I-Ten's, but no one answers. It either rings several times or goes straight to voice mail, making me feel more and more panicked as the minutes and hours go by. I'm sitting outside on my front porch, trying to calm my nerves down, when my phone rings and buzzes in my pocket. I check the caller I.D and it reads Brandon, so I immediately answer it.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I was wondering if you found Leanne yet.” I can barely hear him as the music in his car is blaring so much that I have to hold the phone away from my ear.
“Turn down your music and no I haven't. Have you spoken with her at all?” I question him, but it comes across more as an interrogation.
“Uh- no. I tried to, but her phone must be dead or something.” He switches down his music before he answers, but it doesn’t comfort me or anything.
“Oh...” I am slightly disappointed and sigh heavily, the weight of his words settling on my shoulders. I know I messed up the one thing that mom was really counting on me to do.
“Sorry if I got your hopes up... I'm just worried about her. Jessie and I have been trying to reach her and I kno
w you haven't had any luck either.”
“Nothing. I have an idea who has her though, but haven't been able to track them down,” I say with a low voice as I look around my yard, hoping that no one caught that.
“Well, let me know if you need anything.” He sounds sincere and I know that he means every word. He is the only other person I trust Leanne with and I know he’s just as worried as I am.
“Yeah sure,” I promise.
“By the way, who has her?” he asks.
“That's for me to know and for you to never find out,” I smirk, shaking my head.
“Okay, I understand, but it's good you know.” I can sense his smile. I know he’s really curious and means well, but I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself if something happens to him.
“All right, well Imma go. I'll let you know if anything comes up.”
“Okay, bye.”
I hang up as I let my head fall and run my hand on the back of my neck in frustration. I then lift my head and stare out to the front of me, rubbing my hands together, thinking long and hard about what I don't want to do but have to do. Sighing as I get up from my porch and get into my Mustang, I start up the engine and head down the road.
After driving around for a while, I end up back at the same house Leanne partied at. I park across the street from the place and get out. I lean against my car door taking a deep breath before heading on over. Taking a look back at my car, I can only hope no one tries to fuck it up again while I'm inside. I head up the few steps to the house and knock firmly on the door.
Initiation: A Novella (Initiation Trilogy Book 1) Page 4