by Eve R. Hart
The club girls were sauntering around, trying to find someone that wanted them for the night. None of them even looked at me. Good. I was still pissed at the shit they pulled while I was gone. Tammy, the fucking ring leader of them, was skating on thin ice. She needed to go, but it was going to take more than a few fuck-ups to kick her out. For me, it was a waiting game. Sure, I had been with her on more occasions than I would be happy to admit. I am only a man after all. And as much as I hate to say it, she was damn good for a quick lay. But it didn’t excuse her behavior in the least. She was still an extension of the club. Her behavior reflected on us all. She needed to learn her place.
Cal nodded to me and I stood up and followed him. He sat at the head of the table and I sat at his right. Diesel, Stone, Tank, Bocca, Axe, Seven, and Crow all walked in a few seconds later and took their seats. Cal cleared his throat and started the meeting.
“First things first,” he said. “Ride in two weeks. Leave Wednesday, pick up shipment Thursday mornin’ then head back. We’re gonna to store it here, South boys are gonna come get it that weekend. Talked to the Dogs and they said this shipment is gonna to be lighter. Only need to bring one van. Don’t know why. He wouldn’t get into it. Keep your eyes and ears open. Shit feels shady, fuckin’ get out of there. Hear somethin’ is up, tell me or Loch right away.”
Everyone nodded, understanding. I wondered why he didn’t share that last part with me until now. Something about it didn’t sit right with me. It could have been that he wanted it to seem like it wasn’t a big deal. But I could tell he was a little spooked.
“Loch, Crow, Stone, and Axe go. Take Brandon and Lake, too. Still not sure about Lake yet, we’ll see how he does on this run.” Lake was a young kid. He came to us about four months ago and after a few weeks, we gave him a prospect patch. He was still young and sometimes he messed up. I had faith that he would learn from his mistakes and grow into a roll in the club. Cal waited to see if anyone had anything to say.
“Next, Brandon,” he continued. “Think it’s about time to patch that boy in. He’s been loyal and has managed to keep his nose clean. All for?” The room erupted with ayes all around. Not that I had any doubts. Cal bangs his fist on the table. “Stone, tell Mel we’re havin’ a party. Friday night. We’ll tell him then.”
Bocca was grinning like a kid in a candy store. Everyone else looked pleased. Party was the magic word. Not that they weren’t happy about Brandon finally getting his patch.
“We need to open somethin’ else. I’m open to suggestions. The shop is doin’ good. We’ve got the bar but we all know that’s a joke, mostly an extension to this place.” There were a few short laughs. “Somethin’ that will actually make money, not just hide it. We all can feel it comin’ and we need to start bein’ serious about makin’ the move to legit. We cut out the drug runs years ago and now we got one thing left. I want to make sure we are topside on things before we end it.”
I couldn’t agree more. I was getting older, time to cut out the shit. Going legit seemed the best road to take for this club and leave a better legacy than what we had been left with.
With that, Cal asked if there was anything else to discuss at the table. No one had anything and so he ended the meeting. We all shuffled out to the bar area and had beers.
After one beer I headed out. I needed to shower. It had been hot that day and working under a car in that heat made me a sweaty, filthy mess. Normally, I might not care as much, but I knew I was heading to the bar. I knew I was going to see Reagan.
By the time I got home and cleaned myself up, it was well after dark. I headed out the door and noticed the new car was still in Ethel’s driveway. I resisted the urge to run over there and make sure she was okay. Instead, I headed to the bar. I figured if something was up someone would have let me know. If she was in trouble, Ethel would have called. If she wasn’t at work, Chris would have called. And since my phone hadn’t rung, I guessed everything was fine. Although, I was a little pissed at the thought of how she had gotten to the damn bar.
When I pulled up to the bar there was a row of bikes out front. Looked like the brothers had gotten bored of the clubhouse already. Everyone was going stir crazy and needed a little change. I pulled the door open and saw Reagan behind the bar. She was talking to Bocca with a giant smile on her face. As soon as I entered her eyes looked up and met mine like she knew I was there. For a heartbeat I saw them flicker with happiness. But then, like lightning, her walls went up and her body became rigid as the smile slipped from her face. Before I had a chance to go over and talk to her, Axe caught my attention and call me over to the pool table. I shuffled over to the guys, knowing that I wasn’t going to get anywhere with Reagan.
I was a little surprised to see Tank and Stone there. They had more going on at home than most of us, and that’s where they usually chose to be. I got it. If I had a better reason to be home than frozen processed food and whatever I could find on TV, I would probably be there too.
“Glad to see you out, brother,” I said to Tank. The last few years had been rough for him. But he always kept his head up.
“Mom’s watching Grass for the night.” He gave a half smile. Which led me to believe he was glad to have the free time, but at the same time he hated being away from his son.
Grass was his almost four-year-old boy. He was a hyper little hellion. But in a good way. From the moment he could walk, he was always into something. Which many times led to Tank yelling at him when he got that look of up to no good in his eyes. And that saying Tank always barked was ‘don’t do it or your ass is grass’. And since the kid loved to push the limits, he would do whatever mischievous thing he was thinking. Eventually, we all started jokingly calling him Grass. A name I was sure would stick for a lifetime.
His little boy was the light of his life. He did everything for that boy. I always got the sense that part of him thought that he had to make up for the fact that the boy’s mom wasn’t around. She couldn’t take being a mother and left town three months after he was born. I knew Tank blamed himself. He felt like he couldn’t save her. Her love of drugs and the next best party was all too much. She couldn’t handle motherhood. And in my opinion, they were better off without her. Something I would never voice out loud.
“Mel told me she’s too tired to deal with me tonight,” Stone cut in. “She said she was going to get the kids to bed then go down herself. Told me to sleep at the clubhouse if I was going to get too drunk to be quiet.” We all let out a laugh. That was her subtle way of getting him to have a night out. She was a fucking awesome woman. Sometimes, I envied what they had.
“Here.” I heard Reagan’s voice come from right behind me. The guys went quiet as I turned around. Her hip was cocked out and I could practically feel the anger rolling off of her. She had an opened beer held out towards me.
“Thanks,” I said as nicely as I could, but she turned and walked away as soon as I grabbed the bottle. I turned back and was met with raised eye brows and knowing faces from a few of the guys. I shook it off and steered the conversation in another direction.
After a while, I made my way to the bar. I was talking with Axe and Diesel but my eyes kept roaming over to watch Reagan. She was avoiding me. She hardly looked at me all night. Bocca had spent a good amount of time sitting at the other end of the bar chatting her up. She seemed at ease with him, if not a bit flirty. I was too far away to hear what they were talking about. My heart raced and the blood in my veins boiled every time she laughed at something he said. I felt her slipping away and I only had myself to blame. It wasn’t like I even knew why it mattered. I was doing my best to not have anything with her. Keeping her at arm’s length was getting harder. And seeing her act interested in someone else was driving me fucking crazy.
“Brand!” her voice rang out over all the noise of the bar.
I turned my attention to the door where Brandon had stepped in. He smiled at her, then his eyes quickly darted over to me. His face fell and he looked down. Like a
defeated child, he walked over to Axe, Diesel, and me. I had to remind myself to take in normal breaths and keep my hands from curling into fists. I didn’t need to direct my anger and frustration at him. He had helped me out a lot lately. I had a feeling that coming to stand with me was a deliberate choice. His way of letting me, and the room, know that he was putting distance between himself and her. That his loyalty was with me. Smart. He never did anything without forethought.
“Brand?” I asked with a raised brow. He shrugged. Reagan walked over with a beer for him and set it down right in front of me. She didn’t move her hand until he grabbed it.
“Yeah,” she said looking at me, coldness in her eyes. “Cool ‘cause it has a double meaning. You know, short for his name, but also because he brands people with art.” With that, she walked off with more sway in her hips than normal. I smiled as I watched her perky ass. She was pissed and she was hell-bent on torturing me. I’d spent so much time and energy trying not to look at her. Trying not to memorize her every swell and curve. And when I did look, I itched to run my fingers all over them.
“She come up with that?” I asked.
“Yep,” Brand replied looking at me, trying to gauge how pissed I was.
“Fits. I like it.” I swear I felt him blow out a sigh of relief. I knew he wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize getting a spot in the club. I also knew he wouldn’t do anything to purposely stir up drama with anyone. I had a sense it was more of a friendship between them. I got the feeling that was something she really needed, and I wasn’t going to be the one to stand in between it.
“She didn’t take the car here,” I said once Brandon and I were alone.
“Yeah, I didn’t see it out there. You know how she got here?”
“No,” I said before taking a long swig of my beer, finishing it. I set the empty down on the bar, then rubbed the back of my neck. Reagan appeared with a fresh beer right away. I grabbed her wrist as she started to turn around. My fingers tingled and her skin felt so soft against my rough palm.
“What?” she said in a clipped tone.
“How’d you get here?” I asked flatly.
“Walked.” She pulled her arm free and walked off.
“She is going to be the death of me.” I clenched my jaw and Brandon chuckled into his beer beside me.
“I’ll get Chris to take her home. I know she won’t let you take her,” he said.
“Thanks.” I tipped my bottle at him. “I’m leaving soon. Can’t take this. She probably won’t talk to me ‘til I get her damn car back to her.” Or longer, I thought. I had a feeling that woman could stay pissed at someone for a lifetime if she wanted to.
I took my beer and walked away from the bar. Sitting there was getting me nowhere. I finished my beer, said my goodbyes, and then headed out.
Nearly a week went by before her car was done. She didn’t say more than two words to me at a once the whole time. It was torture. I hated to hear her laugh and talk as an outsider. I hated that she hadn’t once touched me. And I hated that she got to me as much as she did. Granted, I didn’t make any attempt to reach out either. I wanted to let her be the one to come to me. Maybe I should have stepped up and apologized, but I wanted it to be perfect. Words weren’t enough. Add on the fact that I could never think of the right thing to say. And believe me, I fucking tried.
Finally, her car was done. I had the boys clean it up, inside and out. And then I drove it over to Ethel’s place.
I knew she would be leaving for her shift right after I dropped it off. I left the keys inside and made sure the doors were unlocked. Then, I walked over to my place. I got the extra key to the car I bought her from inside my house and moved the damn thing into my garage. Like the whole thing never happened. I chuckled to myself at the thought of her thinking she was in some weird Twilight Zone. Part of me wanted to stand there and watch it all go down, but I decided it was best to give her the space she needed. Maybe, if I wasn’t there she would relax into the idea of not completely hating me.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Reagan
A week passed. A fucking week. That damn new car sat, unmoved, in Nan’s driveway. The more I looked at it, the more I wanted to crack. At the end of the day, Nate had done something nice and I was being a brat about it. But I was also stubborn, and I wouldn’t be the first to back down. I guessed he was the same, seeing as he never said he was sorry or even acknowledged that he was in the wrong. So, for a week, we avoided words with each other. It was hard trying to ignore him when all I wanted was to touch him, and I wondered if it was for him as well. I kept telling myself that he didn’t care. That he wasn’t spilling any tears over me. And I was stupid to think that I meant something to him.
Friday night was dead at the bar. Like ghost town dead. Not even Nate came by. Thank God I had Chris to keep me company. I wondered what was going on. Chris had no clue and told me there was more than likely a club gathering of some sorts. I was a little miffed that I didn’t know about it. I was also a little disappointed that I didn’t get to go. Sure, I wasn’t in the club, but sometimes they let outsiders in at special times, right? I knew a lot of the guys by now. And I thought that a few of them were my friends, or close to. Brand and I were definitely on a friendly level. Bocca, too. Even through all the harmless flirting, I felt like he genuinely liked talking to me.
I tried my best to shrug it off, but it only ended up being another candle on the I’m-pissed-at-Nate cake. Chris tried his hardest to get me to talk about Nate a few times. But I was quick to shut it down, saying that there was nothing to talk about. I could tell he didn’t believe me, but he let it drop.
Saturday night it was packed. I swear all the bikers were there. In the middle of slinging beers, I saw Brand walk in. His head held a little higher than normal and had a smile on his face. Man, his face just lit up when he smiled. And those dimples, it was the most adorable thing I’d seen. He saw me and I flashed him my pearly whites, followed by a questioning brow. He came and sat in front of me. That’s when I noticed his prospect patch was gone and in its place a brighter, whiter patch with his name. Brand. The name I’d started calling him. The very one that I gave to him. Well, sort of. I was going to take the credit for it. I smiled wider.
Without thinking, I leaned over the bar and threw my arms around his neck. He, in turn, wrapped his arms around me and hugged me as tight as he could with the wide bar between us. There wasn’t anything to it, a simple happy, friendly hug of excitement. My eyes found Nate over Brand’s shoulder. His jaw was ticking and after a stare down that lasted a few long seconds, he turned away from me. I pulled back then grabbed Brand a beer.
“Congrats! This one is on me,” I said with a wink winked. He shot me a look that let me know I was dumb. I knew they didn’t pay for the beers. “Humor me, okay?” I rolled my eyes.
“Thanks, Reagan.” He took a long swig.
“So was this why I was so lonely last night?” I asked. He huffed out a laugh.
“Hey!” Chris said beside me. “I was here. Gee thanks. Can’t say I blame her, though. You are—”
“Not in this life, Chris.” Brand said cutting him off with a playful chuckle in his tone. I raised an eyebrow. I was missing something. I didn’t get the gay vibe off of Chris, and I swore I’d heard him talk about girls before. “I love you, man. Just not that much.”
“Wait…” I turned around and gave Chris a questioning look. He smiled then turned around and walked away from me. I turned back to Brand. “Is he?” Brand shrugged and stood up.
“Thanks for the love and the beer.” He smiled then blended into the crowd, leaving my head all confused.
I watched Chris for a little while. His interactions with the guys didn’t set anything off. Normal bro stuff. I was more curious than anything. It wouldn’t have changed the way I felt about him. I was only a bit surprised by it if anything. I seriously had no idea and I wasn’t getting any clues watching him. I shrugged it off as Nate came up to the bar. Taking a deep
breath, I walked over and looked at him. Being that close to him made my head swim. His scent was swirling all around me and all I wanted to do was bury my face in his chest. Or neck. Or his…
I shook my head pulling myself out of the dirty thoughts that were making me wet.
“Reagan,” he said in a curt tone.
“Loch,” I replied back.
I hadn’t called him Nate in a few days. It was a way for me to put distance between us and let him know I was still pissed. His jaw ticked and his lips were in a slight frown. I handed him another beer and that was the end of that. That was how it had been. It was frustrating. And with each day that it went on, I felt like I was going to crack. I was finding it harder to stay mad at him. Especially when he was standing two feet in front of me, looking sexy as hell. I couldn’t make up my mind on what I wanted to do more, slap him or fuck him.
I had Sunday and Monday off. I didn’t see Nate once those two days. It was exactly what I needed to rebuild my walls. I had been in town a few weeks. I started to feel safer. I figured if Lance was going to come after me it would have happened by then. The nightmares were still happening almost every night. I wondered if I was ever going to escape them. If life would ever return to normal. Well, as normal as my life had been. I was eating, at least I wasn’t wasting away anymore.
But sleep was still lost to me. Every time I closed my eyes I saw it. I felt his hands on me, choking me. The image of Liz’s body hanging off of her bed over his shoulder. I couldn’t shake it. I even tried taking over the counter sleeping pills. The only thing they did was make the images more vivid and put me in such a deep state that I couldn’t wake up and escape them.
Everything about that night was still ingrained into my head like it had just happened. I walked into the apartment. Everything seemed normal. Nothing looked out of place. I was ready to go out and have a good night. I was ready to drink my birthday away with pretty much my only friend. I all but skipped into the apartment and down the hall. Liz’s door was open and everything came slowly into view the closer I got.