by Eve R. Hart
“Hey, Loch,” Mel said stepping into the kitchen, arms full of bags. I jumped up and grabbed the bags out of her hands.
“Woman, you know we got prospects for this shit,” I said laughing. She patted my chest and shook her head.
“I know things have been tense around here. I figured I’d give them a little slack,” she replied. “Looks like everyone is asleep anyway. What the hell you doin’ up so early?” I shrugged.
“You got more?” I pointed at the bags. She nodded. “Lake!” I yelled knowing he wasn’t ever too far away.
“Yeah?” He popped his head into the kitchen not even a minute later, hair sticking up all over the place and rubbing his eyes.
“Get the rest of the shit outta Melody’s car.” I barked. He turned on his heels and darted out the door. “What’s all this stuff?” I said peering into the bags and seeing bright blue and green streamers and balloons. I looked in another bag and saw some paper plates. They had some weird cartoon looking dinosaurs dancing in the middle.
“Grass’ fourth birthday party,” she said like I should have known the answer. With everything going on it had slipped my mind. “Friday night. Figured make it a big party. My sister is coming down with the kids. You should invite your girl.” She didn’t look up at me as she picked through the bags like it was a normal thing to say to me.
“Everybody been talkin’?” I grunted. She laughed at me.
“Can’t keep shit to yourself in a town this small, especially when you got these guys around. Word is that you aren’t trying to keep it all in the shadows anyway.” She winked at me like the all-knowing woman she was. “Bring her by early.” It wasn’t a request.
I kissed her cheek and then left her to her organization. I didn’t want to get caught up in sorting things and putting shit together. I chuckled knowing she would pull Lake into it. She would make this party big for Grass. Melody was never one to do things half-assed. Like most of us, she had a soft spot for the little guy and felt like it was her place to step in and play mom for the big events.
I needed to get out and clear my head. After checking with Cal to make sure he didn’t need anything, I let him make sure he knew I was going to be out. With things the way they were, it was just good manners. I didn’t want him to worry if I wasn’t around for the day. Also, he would know that if I didn’t show up by tomorrow then it was time to send out a search party. He gave me the go-ahead, telling me he will call me if he needed me.
The open road and my bike gave me the relief I needed. Miles flew by under my tires as my head tried to sort out what to do about Reagan. Shit was never easy, especially with her. Questions rattled around my mind and I needed to look deep inside and find answers for them. If I was going to lay it all out there for her, then I needed to know what I was laying out and how I felt about everything. With her, I didn’t want to do the in-between thing anymore. She deserved more and if it wasn’t what I wanted, then I needed to let her go. I gave into every insecurity and every doubt I had trying to figure out what I was going to do.
First thing that bothered me was age. She was so young, but she seemed wise beyond her years. She was a product of having to always do things for herself. I was damn old and set in my ways. One of those ways was that believing my woman should be treated like a queen, and that meant me taking care of her. Somehow, I doubted that would fly with Reagan. It was the way I knew how to love. My dad took care of my mom and in return she took care of him in her own ways. He would work, kept a roof over our heads, and fixed shit when needed. She would make sure he had clean clothes and good food in his belly. The love that surrounded them seemed endless. That was what I grew up with and it was the way I knew how to show my love. I wondered if it would work for Reagan, but I felt like it wouldn’t. At the stage I was in life, I wasn’t sure how to change everything that was ingrained in me.
Next thing was the club. It wouldn’t be a problem me taking an old lady. I knew everyone there would respect it. Most of them thought she was mine anyway by the way I’d made her off limits. But I wondered how she would be able to handle the club part of my life. There were things I wouldn’t be able to tell her. There would be times I would have to go away for days, even weeks, at a time. Not to mention the fact that the club girls would always be around. Letting their man around those girls wasn’t something that most women would be comfortable with. Not that I would ever do anything for her to mistrust me, but it still wasn’t an easy thing to deal with.
Being with Reagan, even the few time I had, left me wanting nothing else. I had never felt the way I felt with her. I had never been so desperate to be inside of anyone the way I was with her. She was the top on a hellova long list. I wanted that every day, forever.
Forever… the thought of it should have sent me running, but it did the fucking opposite. It made me smile, a rare happy-as-shit smile. Like a damn kid that got everything he asked Santa for on Christmas. Maybe that’s what she was, my everything.
There was a mountain of things we needed to sit down and talk about. The end of the line was coming and I was pushing the train to its limits to get there. I knew she felt some way towards me. Just in the way her body responded to my touch told me so. But there was also more. I saw the way she looked at me when she didn’t think I was paying attention. I saw her unguarded when she let her walls slip around me. She was beautiful inside and out.
I headed home with the decision to hit this damn thing head on. First step would be to see how she did around the club at Grass’ birthday. Yes, I was going to bring her. I was going to see how she acted around the brothers and the club girls. I was going to see how she got along with the other old ladies. It was a big step for me and I knew it wouldn’t be easy on either of us. If all went well, then we would sit down and have it out. No more secrets. No more of the half-in, half-out shit we had going on.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Regan
Nate had been acting odd all week. There was a significant change in him that stood out. There was no denying that something was different. He hung around the bar when I was working, and he wasn’t hiding away in his office like he seemed to do so often. He was actually out on the floor or behind the bar. Like always, his eyes were on me, but there was something else behind them. Something more. But what? I couldn’t for the life of me put my finger on it. Every time he was near me, he made some excuse to touch me. Then he started doing it, no excuses, just a blatant caress or brush of his fingers with mine. It threw me off kilter. I couldn’t say that I didn’t like it, that was for sure. It was sweet and yet strange. The little gestures had me confused. So much that I became a clumsy and somewhat jumpy mess. I wouldn’t doubt it was because every time he touched me my heart sped up and electricity shot through my veins. Being around him made me dizzy, but having him touch me set me on fire.
I was sure everyone had noticed. He, for the most part, did it when I knew people weren’t looking. But my reaction to it lingered no matter how hard I tried to hide it.
What was I even supposed to think about it all? Confusion set in when I wasn’t around him and my brain could work. He hadn’t made any sexual advances, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about it all the time. Up until that point, we’d had a hot and cold relationship going on. We came together when it seemed to be a time of need. I needed to get laid or forget the things that were going on in my head. He needed an escape from what was going on in his head or what was happening with the club. I often wondered if this was going somewhere. But I couldn’t seem to find the courage or the words to come right out and ask him. Since I enjoyed this newly found sweetness, I decided just to roll with it and take all that I could get.
Thursday night was dead. Lately, things had been calmer at the bar. Over the past few weeks, the groups of the brothers seemed to come in smaller clumps. If they even came at all. When they did, only about three or four showed up at a time. The mood was always heavy when they were around. But I had no idea why. I wondered if something big
was coming but I knew I wouldn’t be in the loop as to what was going on.
Chris and I sat at the bar playing games on our phones. Everything was clean and organized, and there was pretty much nothing to do. Chris blew out an exacerbated breath beside me and looked up at the ceiling. I felt the same way, completely bored and out of things I wanted to talk about.
“It’s still early,” I said. “Maybe someone will come in and give us something to do. Hey, we should text the boys and demand entertainment.” We both laughed.
“Yeah, I don’t think I have that much weight to throw around,” he said. “But… I can think of at least three that would drop everything and come running for you. Probably more if you sent them a picture of what you’re wearing.”
I scowled, then looked down at my outfit. Okay, so yeah, I had on something a little skimpier than what I usually wore. It may have been that I was hoping to see Nate and have him drool a little over me. I wanted to give him something to think about. And, let me be real, I also really wanted to get laid.
“Bet Diesel would come if you asked,” I said. I bumped my shoulder into his. His cheeks heated a little and I giggled.
“It’s not like that.” He rolled his eyes trying to cover his excitement. “It’s just passing time or changing it up or whatever.”
“Dude, I’m not saying you guys are head over heels in love, but there is something there. I’ve seen the way he looks at you sometimes. That is some serious lusting there.”
“Maybe,” he said with a shrug. “It is what it is.”
“And what is it?” I asked.
“Good. Real fuckin’ good is what it is.” He let out a short laugh. “But anyway, what’s up with you and boss man. You don’t think I see that shit the last couple times I was here with you two?” It didn’t escape me that he was changing the subject. I let it slide.
“I don’t know… the whole thing is weird and I have no idea what’s up. I try not to think about it too much.” I paused for a beat. “He gets my head space all fucked up.” I threw my hands up in frustration.
“Men suck.”
“You do realize you are a man, right?” I laughed hard.
“So we don’t want to talk about shit. Get your damn phone out and get to textin’, woman.” His tone was joking and I shook my head at him but gave into his demand.
I hovered over Nate’s name, almost tapping it three times before deciding against it. I send Brand and Bocca separate texts. I went with the sweet and pleading route with Brand. Then decided that a little flirty and playful would work best for Bocca. I knew I could get at least one of them to come and wished on my lucky stars that they would bring backup. I had grown to love the bar when it was crowded. With the place full the smell of testosterone and leather wrapped around me and made me feel at home. It was weird and I knew it. But I couldn’t help how it made me feel.
Not even five minutes later the rumbling sound of bikes let me know our plan had worked. Chris and I hopped up the stool with an excited bounce like damn kids in a candy store.
Bocca walking in first. His charming personality showing bright as he held out his arms announcing he was there. He was looking better than he did when I saw him right after he was shot. He was walking better, too. I wondered if it was still too early to make fun of the fact that he got shot in the ass. Knowing these guys, I would’ve guessed that there was no grace period for the joking, though. Diesel walked in next, shooting me a chin lift before he glanced at Chris behind the bar. I hugged Bocca before he followed Diesel over to the pool tables. Seven more of them filtered in, some pausing to give me a side hug before heading off. I didn’t see Brand and part of me sagged. We had become close and he always brightened my day. I went around the bar and started grabbing beers to hand out. A few of them ordered shots of whiskey and I made quick work of getting them set up.
Bocca threw his arm around my shoulders once my hands were empty and everyone was happy. He watched Crow line up his next shot with a sharp eye. It felt like an intense game of pool and it had only gotten started. The smell of sex wafted into my nose and I knew it wasn’t me. I shifted oddly and shook my head.
“You could have taken a shower, ya know?” I tried to shrug off his arm but he wasn’t having it.
“Don’t give me that, doll face. I finished real quick so I could come to your rescue.” He winked down at me and I grimaced. I won’t lie though, it made me feel good to be at the top of his list. “Let’s just say, I left a very unhappy bitch lying naked in my bed.” I laughed, wondering which one it was. I secretly hoped it was the head bitch herself. Yeah, I may have still been a bit bitter.
“You’re an ass,” I said smiling. He shrugged like I wasn’t saying anything he didn’t already know. I patted his chest and walked away.
The place was loud and rowdy. The music was cranked up and the hard rock was welcomed to my ears. I walked around and chatted with everyone. Nothing super important, but it was nice to be brought into conversations. I wasn’t lost on me how I felt at ease around such gruff men. Truly, they were all good guys on the inside. I wasn’t fooled though. I knew you didn’t fuck with them. They would fuck you twice as hard. Sometimes the world just worked differently than people thought it should, it’s not to say that it was wrong. There was something amazing about a bunch of people that came together like they did. I admired the way they looked out for one another with no questions asked.
“God dammit, woman!” Bocca yelled and I knew he was talking to me. I snapped my head in his direction as he held up his phone. “Find your fuckin’ phone, won’t you. I love you, but I’m not your damn secretary.” He winked to let me know he was joking.
I scooted off and ran to the bar to check my phone. I had a text message from Nate telling me he needed my help with something in the stockroom. I shoved my phone in my pocket wondering what the hell he could need me for. I looked at Chris and pointed in the direction of the hall. He gave me a nod of understanding before I rushed to the back.
“Nate?” I called pushing open the door. Before I could even step in, hands circled my waist. He pulled me into him, then his hard body pushed me up against the back of the door. “Hi,” I breathed out. He gave me a rare smile and I couldn’t help but give him one back.
My heart raced wondering what he was up to.
His fingers ran down my jaw and over my lips. The light touch of his calloused tips sent shivers down my spine. He bent down and kissed me with a softness that made my heart flutter. I melted into him, my arms going around his neck and my fingers threading through his short hair. I moaned into his mouth and he pushed closer into me as he deepened the kiss. My mouth parted, desperate for him and his tongue darted in to find mine. My head was swimming and my knees threatened to give out on me. As if he sensed it, he pulled his arms tighter around me, holding me up. I felt him hardening and pushing against my hip. I didn’t know how long we stayed there, the world outside of us was lost to me. I could feel his hesitation as he broke away and placing a few light kisses on my bottom lip. His forehead rested against mine. Even in the low light of the room I could see the desire and need swirling in his eyes. I swallowed hard and tried to regain control of my breath and body.
“Hi,” he whispered, smiling again. His breath tickled my still wet lips.
I longed to taste him again but refrained from pulling him back into me. A short, nervous laugh escaped me. I wasn’t used to this Nate and I had no fucking idea what to do with it. That was not to say that I didn’t welcome it. I couldn’t help but wonder how long it was going to last, though. Right now he was on fire and I was waiting for the ice storm.
“What was that for?” My throat was dry and my words came out in a scratchy whisper. I cleared my throat and searched his eyes for some kind of clue.
“I just wanted to,” he answered. “I’ve been thinkin’ about it all day.” My cheeks grew red and I bit my lip to try and control my excitement. The things his words did to my insides. Butterflies. Fireworks. Hell, damn cannons
were going off in my stomach.
“Well, it was nice,” I said trying to play it cool. But I was pretty sure I didn’t pull it off.
“Hmmm…” he said like he knew better. He smirked and planted a short, sweet kiss on my lips. “I’ve got to get back to the club.” Disappointment filled me but I tried not to let it show.
“Thanks for stopping by, then.” I untangled myself from him and stood up straight. He grabbed me again and pulled me flush with his body again. Kisses peppered up my neck from my shoulder. I tilted my head allowing him better access, wanting more. So much more.
“I can’t stay here, Rea.” I melted as he breathed his words into my ear. “I’m tryin’ to do this right and if I stay here we both know where it is goin’ to go.” I inhaled a sharp breath at his words. My panties were soaked and I pushed my thighs together to ease the throb.
“Knowin’ that you are wet for me is driving me crazy. I can smell how bad you fuckin’ want me,” he continued. I whined like a desperate slut. When it came to him I was, and I didn’t feel ashamed in the least. “Believe me, I want deep inside of you just as bad as you do. Don’t worry, baby. I’m goin’ to give you what you need soon.” He kissed that spot behind my ear that made me shiver before he pulled away from me. I stepped to the side before he slipped out the door, making eye contact with me until he the door blocked our view.
I paced the back room a few times trying to calm myself down. I didn’t want to go back out there in front of the guys in the heated mess I was in. They were like damn vultures and they would know. I didn’t want to deal with the jokes and catcalls. For the most part, they kept it tame when it came to me. But I knew Bocca would at least have something to say in the loudest way possible. I couldn’t be mad, that was what we did. We gave each other shit the same way siblings would.