by M. A. Innes
Fear had been a constant companion for the last week or two. Maddox didn’t understand how overwhelming it all was. I felt bad about keeping it from him, but he worried so much. I didn’t want to add my stress to his. I knew he would say he was Daddy and my Dom and I was supposed to share things like that with him, but I didn’t know how.
With his arms so tight around me, knowing that we only had one more night like this, I was having a hard time pushing my emotions back. They were like waves that were beating at me, slowly wearing away at my strength.
I think I could have gotten myself under control again if Maddox hadn’t woken up. Feeling his arms tighten and that sexy, sleepy voice mumbling out his love pushed me right over the edge. I was going to miss it so damned much.
Hearing those first husky words filled with sleep, knowing that I was the first thing he thought of.…Once we left here, it would be months before we had this again. Even longer if he had to go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas.
The sadness at the thought of not having this again for even longer had tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t make them stop. They spilled over, running down to the pillow while I quietly fell apart. Maddox must have sensed something was wrong because he rolled me over and pulled my face into his chest.
My tears landed on his skin and he started rocking me back and forth gently, making these soothing, shushing sounds.
“It’s okay, Baby. I promise. Bryan, listen to me. I promise nothing is going to change our relationship. Yeah, we’ll have to work things out a little differently and plan around new obstacles, but I’m still going to be Daddy and you’re going to stay my special boy. I love you, and that isn’t going to change.” I could tell my tears were tearing him apart—but there wasn’t anything I could do.
“But we’re not going to have this.” I hiccupped and tried to stop the tears. “Roommates and class and studying. And what about holidays? Your parents are going to want to see you eventually. What happens if we don’t get Christmas together? Thinking about how much I’m going to miss this is tearing me apart.” I felt like a failure. I didn’t want him to see me like this.
“You should have told me you were this worried, Baby. We’re going to work it all out, but you can’t hide this much. We’re in this together, B. I’m yours and you’re mine. That isn’t going to change. I know we’ll figure it out. It will take a little bit of time.” I could hear the emotion in his voice, but there was also a firm belief that everything would be fine.
I tried to grab on to his conviction but it was so hard. Now that I’d let him in, I couldn’t imagine living without him. We hadn’t been friends sharing a house this summer. We’d been closer than lovers.
It was truly our room now, and not just mine. Even when he spoke, it was about going home…not going to my house. I didn’t know how to go back to being on my own. I’d been so alone for so long and I didn’t want to have to live like that again.
He held me until I was all cried out, but I didn’t feel any better. It was like I was finally empty. When I was quiet and he could tell the tears had stopped, he tilted my head back. Looking intently into my eyes, he spoke quietly. “I promise. I will let nothing tear apart everything that we’ve built this summer. This has been the best time of my life, and I won’t lose you. I was meant to be your daddy.”
Maddox leaned close and gave me a soft kiss. “We’re going to be fine. I’ll make sure. Now, no more crying. Unless you want to explain it to your mother because I smell coffee, and she’s going to start rattling stuff downstairs soon to get our attention.”
That made me laugh. “Yeah, she’s not going to go to work until she sees us. I think she’s gotten used to having us home this summer. It’s going to be hard on her.”
“Then let’s get ready and head down while the coffee is still fresh. We’ll get what we have to done and then we’ll have the afternoon to ourselves.” His hands were softly rubbing my back, and he pulled me close again. This time I got a kiss on my forehead. He always did that when he was feeling loving and wanted to make me feel special.
“Love you, Daddy.”
“Love you, too.”
I thought he’d rush us out of bed, but he held me close and we lay there cuddling. It took me a minute to connect the dots and I blushed when I figured out what he was doing. He was waiting…for me…to…you know…
Damn.
He would always take my diaper off in the morning and wipe me down, but I didn’t always use it. There didn’t seem to be a pattern, but some days he would simply keep us in bed until I did. There had to be a reason this time. Did he think we needed the closeness?
He was probably right.
Not that I’d tell him that. I was ready to just be his baby. To relax and have there be nothing to worry about. The afternoon couldn’t come fast enough. Relaxing in his arms, I tried to let the feeling of belonging to him and being his baby sink into me. He was Daddy. He was going to take care of me. All I had to do was listen to him and everything would be fine.
When I was done, he gave me another kiss, this time longer and sweeter. “Let’s get you ready, Baby.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
He cleaned me up and sent me off to the bathroom with a quick smack to my ass. He was right. I needed a shower badly. Cum had dried in funny places. That was the only downside to not using condoms.
It took me a good few minutes to clean up but eventually, I was dressed and feeling much more functional. I felt stupid for falling apart but I also felt a lot better. It didn’t seem like everything was going to unravel now. Yeah, things were going to be difficult for a little while until we worked out a schedule, but we’d get it organized.
Hell, there were always hotels once in a while.
That thought perked me up. Maybe a nice one if we actually got halfway decent jobs this year. I was almost cheerful by the time I got to the kitchen. The smell of coffee and bacon hit me as I walked in. “That smells fabulous.”
I wanted coffee but I wasn’t sure if I could have it. Mad was always discreet, but sometimes I got a quick shake of his head and he didn’t let me have it that day. Today looked like a coffee day, or at least a coffee morning because he gave me a quick nod as Mom turned her back.
“Thank you. I wanted to fix you two something nice. I told work I’d be a few minutes late because I wasn’t sure if you boys would sleep in.” Then she paused, intently watching the bacon cook. “Did you have a nice dinner with your friends?”
“Yes.” That was an easy question. “We hung out and grilled. It was fun.” As long as she didn’t ask how we knew them, I was good. She seemed to get that because she steered away from harder questions, asking about the food and how late we’d stayed out. I might not have a curfew anymore, but she still worried.
After a few minutes, the food was done and we helped bring it over to the table. She had gone all out. Bacon, eggs, and biscuits…a perfect “mom” breakfast.
“Thank you.” Mad dug in, clearly starving.
I was too. We’d worked up an appetite last night.
“Did you boys want to go out to dinner tonight? Something nice before you leave?”
That made my chest hurt for a minute, but it wasn’t anything like it was earlier. I had to keep reminding myself that everything would be fine. I glanced over at Maddox, and I could see him looking at me cautiously. Worrier.
I smiled and looked back at Mom. She was watching us curiously but didn’t say anything. “Sure, that sounds good. What time did you want to go out?”
Clearly deciding to ignore the odd behavior, she smiled. “How about I meet you two at the Italian place at about six? The one that we went to for your birthday last year. That way we won’t have to wait until late to eat.”
“Perfect.” It did sound good. It was too expensive for every day going out to eat, but they had great food and incredible desserts. I looked over to Mad. “It’s good; you’re going to love it.”
“I can’t wait.” He was more relaxed no
w and genuinely seemed to be looking forward to it.
As soon as she was done, Mom gave us both hugs and dashed out the door for work. “Are you sure you guys don’t mind cleaning up?”
“You go. We’ll straighten up everything and see you later.”
“All right. Let me know if you think of anything else you need while you pack up. Call me later if I should stop at the store after work.”
Maddox laughed. “You’ve gotten us everything we could need. Thank you.”
“Okay, I can take a hint. Don’t spend the entire day packing. I’ll see you later. I’m getting out of here sooner than I expected. I’ll call you if we should meet earlier.” Then she dashed out the door, before calling out behind her. “I know better than to show up at home unexpected, don’t worry.”
“She says shit like that to make me nuts.”
“Yup.” Maddox was laughing and shaking his head. “Your mom is hilarious.”
She was crazy but I’d miss her. I was going to miss everything about this summer. Refusing to let myself get bogged down in my emotions again, I gave Maddox a stern look. “Hurry up. We’ve got stuff to do this morning. I want to be able to do nothing but relax later.”
“Oh, I have plans for later that include a lot of…relaxing.” His wicked grin had my dick twitching in my shorts.
It was going to be the fastest packing job in history.
CHAPTER 6
Maddox
Bryan had us packed for school in only a couple of hours, with me mostly lifting and carrying. I think it took me all day last year. And even then, I forgot things. Between his mother’s perfect memory of everything we needed to start school and his to-do list for what should be packed, we were all set. By ten we were walking down to the bakery.
“Did we remember all the sheets?” Bryan’s worry was now focused on everything that needed to be put in the car.
“Yes. You had me put them in the trunk.” I’d already answered almost a dozen questions like that since we left the house.
“What about the kitchen stuff we set aside for you to take to the dorms?”
“Yes. Your mom set that by the door yesterday. It was one of the first things we put in the car.” Michelle was firmly convinced that the dorm kitchen wouldn’t have the things I really needed. So she’d gone through the kitchen and packed up a box of duplicate things like can openers and baking dishes. I guess she figured that I was more likely to cook than Bryan was. Or at least more likely to cook without burning down the building.
I tried to protest, telling her she should be saving some of it for Bryan’s first apartment, but she gave me this look like I was a moron and kept right on packing. It made me think. It was like one of those sitcom moments. Was she thinking the same thing that I was thinking?
Maybe.
I hadn’t brought it up to Bryan yet. It seemed far-fetched and way too soon. We’d only been together—
“Hi, Mr. Haslet. How are you doing?” Bryan’s voice stopped my crazy wandering thoughts.
“Hey, there.” Waving to Mr. Haslet as he was sitting out on the front porch, we stopped and leaned against the fence. “We’re heading to the bakery; did you need anything?”
“No, thank you, boys. Are you almost packed? Your mom mentioned that you boys were heading back tomorrow.” His skirt was blowing against his legs in the wind as he relaxed. He looked cooler than I felt. Even in shorts, the weather was too hot.
“We’re done. Bryan kept us on track and it didn’t take nearly as long as I thought it would. We’re heading over to get some good stuff to take back with us. Did you need any help before we leave?” Please say no was all I could think. I wanted to get home and have a quiet afternoon with Bryan.
“No, thank you for offering, though. I’m getting ready to head in and watch my shows. You boys are welcome to come pick some stuff out of the garden to take with you if you’d like. Michelle tells me you’re going to have a kitchen this year, Maddox.”
I wanted to laugh, but I managed to keep a straight face. “Yes, I will. Thank you. We’ll stop by later and grab some of those tomatoes if you don’t mind.”
Michelle made me feel like part of the family. Just the fact that my dorm situation was important enough to her to share with the neighbors was so funny. I couldn’t imagine my own mother talking about me to anyone. Unless it was about future jobs or something like that.
“My mom’s nuts.” Bryan shook his head and mumbled. “She doesn’t need to tell the neighbors everything about us.”
“That’s fine. We’ve got too many anyway. And take some of those bell peppers while you’re there.” Mr. Haslet called out, interrupting Bryan’s griping.
“Yes, sir.” Calling out a final good-bye, we waved and started for the bakery again.
“Thank goodness.” Bryan’s sigh of relief was almost comical.
“I know. I was afraid we were going to be out there weeding again.” I loved helping him out, but I wasn’t in the mood today.
“Me too. I’m ready to get home and hang out with you.” He looked at me and I could see the wheels turning in his head.
I reached out and grabbed his hand. He didn’t even tense anymore, just gave me a squeeze. I could tell he was trying to decide if he was going to ask me something. I didn’t want him to start stressing so I jumped in to answer the unspoken questions.
“Once we’re done at the bakery, we’re going to head home and have lunch. Then play time.” I dropped my voice a little to make sure no one could overhear. The street wasn’t very busy, but I wanted to be careful anyway. “I’m going to get you ready. Then maybe I’ll read you a story. You can play toys with your binkie and have fun. How does that sound?”
His cheeks turned a little pink but he didn’t look away. He simply nodded and squeezed my hand. “I like that plan.”
“I also have a surprise for you.”
“Another one?” He sounded like he couldn’t decide if he was excited or skeptical.
“Yes. I’ll show you after lunch.” I’d gotten him some new toys. I’d borrowed the car the other day, telling him I had to run to the store real quick. While I was there, I found more soldiers for his battles, a couple of miniature race cars, and a small lockable box to keep in my room. I wanted to have stuff at both our places.
He must have decided he was excited because he gave me a sexy pout. “I have to wait?”
Laughing, I nodded. “Yes. Once you eat your lunch like a good boy, then I’ll show you the surprise.”
He gave a low huff but smiled. “We should walk faster then.”
“Very ready for lunch, huh?”
“Yup, I’m starving.” The little look he gave me made me think it wasn’t food he was hungry for. Suddenly, lunch seemed like a very good idea.
****
Watching him lying on the floor on his stomach, kicking his feet back and forth, while he lined up his new soldiers, it felt like I was finally able to catch my breath. We’d been going since first thing this morning. I had mixed feelings. On one hand, everything was so stressful, I just wanted the day to be over. On the other, I wanted this to be a day that never ended.
As much as I tried to project confidence for Bryan, I felt like a fake. There was so much up in the air. I wanted it to stay this perfect forever. The two of us together with him relaxed and happy, but I knew it wouldn’t stay this way. For now, I pushed that thought out of my head because I had much more enjoyable things to focus on.
Lunch had been fun. I’d made sandwiches, cutting his up into little triangles, and made everything look like it would on a kid’s plate. I even took the grapes off the stems and found another straw for his milk.
We watched cartoons while we ate and after, I’d taken him upstairs. Once he had his diaper on and was dressed to play, I got the new toys out. He’d been surprised and excited to see the little soldiers on horseback. He handled the box pretty good until I put the key to it on the same chain I had the lock to his cage on. When I put it around my neck, his
face got red and he started pushing around the toys on the floor.
I’d figure it out eventually, but I thought it probably had something to do with the reminder that I could lock his dick away or about his submission. Either way, it wasn’t a bad thing. Whatever was running through his mind had his cock hard enough that it was pressing against his diaper.
He was so turned on that every time he laid on his tummy to play, he’d start rubbing his cock against the floor. I’d had to stop him two or three times already. “Baby, you’re rubbing your special place again. You need to be good.”
The little soldier in his hand tumbled to the ground as he stopped squirming and looked up at me sheepishly. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”
“I know, B. But you have to remember to behave.”
“I’ll try.” He wasn’t even blushing anymore, so I knew he was incredibly turned on already.
“Good boy.” That only made it more difficult for him to stay still. We went through the same process every time. I’d point out that he was humping the floor—I’d say it nicer, though—then he’d apologize and promise to be good. Then I’d praise him, which only turned him on more, and we’d start the cycle all over again.
It was perfect.
It had been a while since he’d had a spanking and this would be the perfect lead-in for it. My boy was supposed to leave his special places for Daddy, but he wasn’t doing a very good job of behaving. We were waiting for one more thing and if I was reading the signs right, it was almost time.
We didn’t have a set schedule for him to use his diaper. Sometimes I gave him a bottle during playtime and he would go, but a lot of the time it was just him playing in his diaper or naked. As stressed as he’d been lately and as hard as it was going to be to find enough privacy at school, I wanted to make sure he got to fully emerge himself in his role one last time before we left.