But once he’d started discussing his life with Maria in the hopes of starting a deeper relationship, she’d made up excuses to run.
Damned if Quinn wasn’t right. “You got a point, man. Maria is scared.”
Quinn looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. “Who’s talking about Maria?” he asked. “I’m telling you about Ari.”
Connor burst out laughing. So they were both lost in their own thoughts. “They’re both women, what’s the difference?”
Quinn laughed for the first time all night. “Apparently none.”
But at least Connor now had a handle on Maria, which gave him an edge in dealing with her fears and insecurities. All things he ought to understand, since he had plenty of his own. As far as the love thing Quinn mentioned, well, there was time to deal with that once Maria started thinking like a rational human being and not… well… not like a woman, he thought wryly.
• • •
Long after Connor left, Quinn couldn’t sleep because his bed smelled of Ari. He couldn’t relax over a beer because Ari had rearranged his kitchen. And he couldn’t figure out how to turn on ESPN because the cable company had changed stations while he’d been gone. Instead of the box being programmed to show the sports channel when he first turned it on, like it was when he lived alone, Ari had left the television on the History Channel.
Nothing was the same. Everything in his once private domain reminded him of Ari, and when he closed his eyes, she was even in his dreams.
The only place Ari wasn’t, was in Quinn’s life. And that was something he had to accept. Along with the fact that he was intricately involved in her life-or at least her family’s lives-thanks to Sam.
Which reminded him, he had a family meeting to conduct in order to make sure the Costas clan gave up their conning ways so that they could be approved as Sam’s guardians. He couldn’t allow Ari’s crazy relatives to take any unnecessary risks or plot any ridiculous schemes. He owed that to Sam even if it meant facing Ari again.
Assuming she hadn’t taken off for Vermont by now.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Nicholas Costas had gone to sleep early, the drama of Zoe’s homecoming obviously wearing him out. Ari understood. She was drained herself, both physically and emotionally. But she was also elated her family was back together and whole, Zoe and now Sam included. So while her father slept, the women of the house sat around the kitchen table. Spank included.
Her mother had insisted Aunt Dee sneak the monkey over to be included in the family gathering. To Ari’s shock, Zoe and Spank didn’t seem to get along. When Zoe turned her back, Spank stuck out her tongue. And when Zoe tried to speak, Spank made loud, rude noises just to be the one that got attention. Ari had never seen anything like it.
“It’s so good to have all my girls home,” Elena said, echoing what their father had said earlier.
“It’s good to be home. You can’t imagine what it was like to be stuck in that house for weeks on end,” Zoe said, but as soon as she spoke, Spank began to bang a spoon on the table. Loudly.
Elena sighed. “She’s just jealous. She always felt she had to compete for attention when Zoe’s around because-”
“Zoe likes to talk?” Sam asked, giggling.
Zoe grabbed a napkin, rolled it into a ball, and tossed it at Sam. “Can it, Squirt.”
Sam wrinkled her nose at Zoe, but the love and longing in the young girl’s eyes would have been painful were it not unconditionally guaranteed to be reciprocated by anyone and everyone in the Costas house. Even Zoe, who’d only been home a few hours. At least those two would get along just fine, Ari thought, smiling.
“Did I say I was sorry?” Zoe asked, glancing around the table. “Because I am. Truly, horribly sorry for making all of you worry about me and think I was… dead,” she said, nearly choking on the word.
“You apologized too many times,” Ari said. “We understand why you had to do it.” Actually Ari understood so much more, having had to lie to the family, too, in order to keep Zoe’s secret and their parents safe.
Elena strode over to Zoe and hugged her tight. “It’s my fault for putting this whole sordid mess into action. I never should have tried to set you up with Damon. Never should have brought you into the casino in the first place. So we both shoulder some responsibility.” She kissed the top of her daughter’s head. “And now it’s over. We put it behind us and move on, yes?”
“Yes,” Aunt Dee chimed in. “And Zoe, wait until you see the plans for the spa. I know we mentioned things to you before you disappeared, but the actual plans are incredible,” Aunt Dee said, light dancing in her eyes as she began to talk about the project.
Ari watched from a distance. Not as an outsider looking in, but as someone appreciating the scene before her and the family she had as if for the very first time. Warmth filled her as she studied the interaction and accepted that she was in fact a part of this family and its dynamics.
She might not understand it all, but with age came wisdom and with distance had come the realization of all she’d missed out on by running away.
“Eeew! Would you stop playing with your feet at the table?” Zoe yelled, interrupting Ari’s serene moment as she smacked the monkey’s hand.
Spank in turn pulled a lock of Zoe’s hair.
“Children, stop!” Elena clapped her hands.
Spank laid her head on the table, while Zoe turned to her mother. “This is mortifying.”
“She doesn’t live here anymore, so cut her some slack,” Elena whispered, ostensibly so Spank wouldn’t overhear and have her feelings hurt.
Ari couldn’t help it. She giggled. Giggling turned to laughter and from laughter came tears. A huge family hug ensued that engulfed Ari in love and comfort and understanding-all things she’d missed over the last few years.
And if she still had an empty hole in her chest, well, nobody else had to know it was because she already missed Quinn.
• • •
Ari’s bags were packed. She’d been back home in her old room in her parents’ house for the past three days. Blessedly, the loudest part of the construction had ended, and since she no longer needed to sleep days, she had no noise issues to deal with. She and Zoe had had some late night catch-up talks, and Ari was certain Sam would adapt well to living with her family. All in all, life had returned to normal. Costas normal.
Yet Ari hadn’t returned to Vermont. Instead, she was dressing and putting on makeup for a family party. A three-part family party, consisting of a welcome-home bash for Zoe, a welcome-to-the-family party for Sam, and a going-away party for Spank.
The monkey had won a starring role on Broadway in Doctor Dolittle. Spank was destined for stardom.
“Knock knock.” Zoe peeked into the doorway. “Care for company?”
“Sure.”
Although she and Zoe had talked often, there was still a wariness on Zoe’s part, as if she didn’t quite trust in their sisterly bond. Only time would undo the rift that Ari had created. Wanting to breach the chasm was part of the reason she didn’t want to leave just yet. The other part was Quinn, the man she’d turned away yet couldn’t stop thinking about, day and night.
Zoe sat on her bed and crossed her legs, eyeing Ari with a grin on her face. “I like the skirt.”
Ari glanced down at the black mini. “Oops. I forgot to return it,” she said, caught at stealing her sister’s clothes.
“Reminds me of when we were younger.”
Zoe laughed while Ari was suddenly trapped in a time warp. “We did share clothing, didn’t we?” And not the prissy tops and trousers Ari had been favoring for too long now.
Her twin nodded. “For a while we shared everything. Until you put up a wall and pulled away from the family.”
Ari swallowed hard. “I hated that our family was so different from everyone else’s,” she admitted. “I wanted to blend in and not stand out, and to me that started with the way I dressed.”
“It wasn’t… isn’t just the clot
hes. It was the attitude. You changed. You condemned us and our choices. And as a kid, I could understand it more than I did over the last few years.”
Ari nodded. “I wish I could say it wasn’t intentional.” She settled in beside her sister. “But in the beginning I wanted to create distance and later it had become a habit. If I told myself I didn’t understand you, then I couldn’t be like you.” She sighed.
“There’s nothing wrong with embracing individuality,” Zoe said. “For you or for me. But that overwhelming need not to be one of us…” She shook her head. “That I never understood.”
Looking back, Ari couldn’t comprehend it either. “What started out as adolescent embarrassment ended up changing me.” She held her hands out in front of her, trying to explain and apologize at the same time. “And then the disastrous affair with Jeffrey just topped it all off and I needed to get away.”
“And now you’re going back.” Zoe pointed across the room to the fully packed suitcases that lay open on the floor.
“I have this semester and next to finish.” But the excuse sounded lame to Ari’s ears. Yes, she had a job and a commitment, but many teachers took unexpected leaves and the school and the students survived. In her case, the substitute was a talented young professor seeking tenure. She’d be happy to take over and finish Ari’s class.
She blinked. What was she thinking?
“Do you enjoy teaching?” Zoe asked.
“I love it. I really do, but-”
Zoe nudged her leg. “But what?” she prompted, a knowing smile on her lips. “But you enjoyed the excitement here, too?”
Ari laughed, almost reluctant to admit her twin had a point. “Yeah. I did.”
“I thought so, especially after I heard how you pulled off the ultimate Costas con.”
As Quinn had predicted, pride suffused Zoe’s voice, but all Ari could think about was her twin’s choice of words. “What do you mean I pulled off a con?” Her throat seemed to close as she spoke the word.
“When they released me from protective custody, Marco said Quinn had raved about how you’d distracted Damon with your rendition of The In-Laws.” Her eyes glittered with amused laughter. “Dropping to your knees, crying, howling, begging for your life, all so Quinn could catch Damon off guard. And all without being preplanned.”
Ari felt herself blush, a heat rising to her cheeks as her federal-agent sister went on about her amateurish attempt at saving the day. “It was a gamble. A gimmick. All I could think of on the spur of the moment.”
“That’s right. You thought on your feet and you did it just like any Costas would. You pulled off the ultimate con on that dirtbag Damon. After all the bimbos he dated, the man finally got his comeuppance by a woman. It’s sweet justice.” Zoe grinned. “But for you, it was absolute proof.”
“Of?” Ari asked, but she had a hunch she already knew.
“That you’re one of us,” Zoe said. “It’s in your blood, it’s in your genes, but most of all it’s in your heart.” She spoke the words Ari had already accepted that night in the kitchen.
Reaching over, Zoe pulled her into a warm hug. “Welcome home, Ari.”
Ari’s eyes filled with tears and she embraced her sister in return.
“Marco said Quinn had to be damn quick on his feet to get what you were doing.” Zoe eased back, still not finished regaling Ari with Marco’s version of events. “Either that or you two must have had some kind of mental telepathy or connection.” Her twin’s voice trailed off as the truth obviously dawned. “So what exactly is going on between the two of you?”
“Nothing,” Ari said. “Not anymore.”
Zoe narrowed her gaze. “But something did. I knew it the second I saw you two at the safe house. If he did anything to hurt you, I’m going to kill him,” she said, and from her protective tone, Ari knew she meant it.
“Quinn’s a good guy. He’s been through a lot in his life and he deserves someone who’ll be there for him.”
“And you won’t?” Zoe scoffed at the notion. “I can tell you that even if you finish the semester in Vermont, you’ll be back.”
“What makes you say that?” Ari asked, but a smile tugged at her lips. The thought of coming home for good opened the vise around her heart and she breathed easier.
Zoe rolled her eyes. “Didn’t we just cover all that? You’re one of us. You can’t go back to that boring life in Vermont anymore than you can button up your collars again.” She pointed to Ari’s lace camisole, which she’d sneaked out of Zoe’s drawer to pair with her already pilfered miniskirt.
“I’ve been telling myself that I don’t know who I am. But I do,” Ari said softly. “It’s just so hard to admit it out loud.”
“Why?” Zoe asked.
“Because it means I lost five years of my life living in Vermont, away from you, from Mom, Dad, and the rest of the family.” Admitting her faults wasn’t easy but it was the first step toward making her way back.
“It helped you grow. It helped us grow and change and come to understand you better, too,” her sister said. “And now it’s in the past, right?” Zoe looked anxious as she awaited an answer.
“Right,” Ari said. “I really did have some good times in Vermont and met some good people and friends. It just isn’t right for me anymore. It hasn’t been for some time.” She’d just been too stubborn, too entrenched in the conservative world she’d created for herself to admit it.
“It took my missing-person stunt to prove to you what you knew all along. In here.” Zoe tapped her chest, right above her heart. “But I’m so sorry about the pain I caused all of you.”
Ari nodded. “I know. And you can stop apologizing for it.”
“Now that you’re facing your family and your past, I have one more question for you,” Zoe said.
Ari shrugged. “Might as well get it over with all at once, so shoot,” she said, laughing.
Zoe sobered as she said, “You wasted five years away from your family. How many are you going to waste away from Quinn? The man you obviously love?”
As Ari glanced at her twin and contemplated the question, she wasn’t laughing anymore. Because Zoe was right. She did love Quinn and had for some time. Voicing the truth she’d been fighting made her light-headed and giddy.
She loved him.
She loved his tough-guy exterior and the softness inside he didn’t let many people see. She loved the way he’d created his own family out of Connor and Sam, all the while denying he had anyone in his life he cared about or who cared for him. And she loved how he’d put her before his job, first by admitting her sister was alive and then by taking her to the safe house and risking his career. But she hadn’t repaid him well.
Quinn Donovan was a man with a difficult history behind him, and one who didn’t trust or give of himself easily. He’d given Ari his heart, but not once had she admitted she felt the same. She’d pushed him away, the fear of finding and accepting herself too overwhelming.
She’d let him down and he had every reason to withdraw into himself and keep her at a distance now. Just as she had no choice but to confront him and see if they could try to create a future together.
She glanced up to tell Zoe she was right, but her twin had disappeared, leaving Ari alone with her thoughts. Ari hoped it wasn’t an omen of things to come.
• • •
• • •
Connor led Maria into the Costas house, his hand on her back. An unfamiliar feeling of pride swelled inside him, that he had this woman and her son by his side.
“Connor!” Zoe called out, coming up beside him. “Maria! I’m so glad you could make it.” She knelt down to the boy’s level. “And this handsome guy must be Joseph. Your mommy told me all about you when we worked at the same place.” Zoe held out her hand and the boy took it. “I have the best surprise for you,” she told him.
Remembering what Quinn had said about the reasons for this party, Connor laughed. “You’re gonna like this one, Joe.” He and the boy had
settled on the more grown-up name of Joe to replace the childish Joey his mother insisted upon.
“Can I take him to see Spank?” Zoe asked Maria as she rose to her feet. “Just down in the basement. You can catch up with us there.”
Maria nodded. “It’s fine with me.”
“Want to go see a monkey?” Zoe asked.
“Heck yeah!” He took off at a run, Maria calling after him.
“Behave,” she yelled, too late for him to hear.
Connor laughed. “He’ll be fine.” He squeezed her hand in reassurance.
She was so used to handling Joe alone that it was difficult for her to let him out of her sight or cede control unless she was working. Now that Connor’s last undercover stint was over and he’d taken on regular shift work, he intended to change all that.
“Let’s go get a drink.” He motioned to the bar set up in the corner of the room.
“What are they constructing?” Maria asked as she waited for her drink.
Connor shrugged. “Quinn mentioned something about a day spa.”
Maria’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I’d love to have a place to come to after a long night of work. Maybe I can even afford it one day.”
The bartender handed her a drink and she let out a long sigh as she sipped the cola. Another thing he’d noticed about Maria, she didn’t drink liquor or beer when her son was around, and as a result, neither did Connor.
“I guess you don’t know what a detective earns, do you?” he asked.
She raised an eyebrow. “My mother taught me it’s rude to discuss religion, politics, and money.”
“Unless you’re with a person who’s looking to make a long-term commitment and needs to know we’re on the same page.”
She choked on her soda and began coughing. “Connor-”
“No. No more avoiding, no more jokes, no more anything except the truth.” He grabbed her hand and held on tight. “I care about you.” He more than cared, but he wasn’t looking to scare her off. If she agreed, he had time to convince her. “And all I want for you to tell me is whether you feel the same. If so, I think we can build something. You, me, and Joe.”
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