by Abby Ayles
“You must come,” Lady Louisa said, sensing his thoughts. “It is just the small group of us,” she added by way of reasoning.
“Louisa,” he started.
“No, I won't hear any excuses from you,” she interrupted, more forceful than ever before.
“You have locked yourself away in here like you are some kind of prisoner.”
“I stay here for others’ comfort,” he retorted.
“We are your family,” she countered, exasperated. “We love you, no matter how you look. Your face offends no one.”
“Tell that to Mother, who can't seem to look me in the eye,” he mumbled under his breath.
“She hurts for many reasons and because of it has a weak constitution. She can bear little these days. You refusing to attend dinner with us will only make her worry more,” Lady Louisa added with hands on her hips.
Colton thought over his mother. Her weak constitution and hurt were all his own doing. He had basically murdered his father and broken his mother. His sister’s guilting tactic had its effect. He would not cause his mother any more pain than he could help.
“I mean it, Colton,” Lady Louisa continued when he didn’t at first respond or move. “I may be your little sister, but if I have to, I will grab you by your good ear and pull you all the way to the Duke of Wintercrest’s house.”
Lord Gilchrist relaxed into a smile. It was a rare thing for his little sister to be so passionate about something as to threaten force. He was sure this small dinner, and his presence at it, was something significant to her. He wouldn’t let her down.
Standing up, he put one hand over his whole ear, pretending fear at her words.
“How dare you threaten him so,” he said, finding some of the old humor he once had. “The poor fellow lost his mate and now you want to tug him around.”
He smiled softly down at his sister. Seeing his good nature briefly return, Louisa gave out a long sigh of relief.
He took her hands in his and kissed them softly.
“I know I didn’t come back right, old girl,” he said softly. “I’m trying to fix it. I would prefer not to be gaped at, but I can see this is important to you so I will change presently.”
“No one will gawk at you, Colton,” Lady Louisa encouraged him.
For so much of their lives, Lord Gilchrist had to protect and encourage his little sister. It seemed that now it was her turn to give some of that courage back.
“Lady Abigail certainly will,” he added as he walked over to pick his jacket up from its crumpled pile.
“She doesn’t know you as well as the rest of us do. It didn’t help, either, that you were a right terrible monster when she first met you.”
Lord Gilchrist thought over his behavior at that ball. He probably had been what his sister said.
He was sick of being looked at like a spectacle, though. Just about every moment of that evening had utterly irritated him and the earl had not held back his opinions.
It was clear to Gilchrist that Lady Abigail was a very young lady. She was enjoying the thrills of the seasons of her youth. He couldn’t fault her for doing the same things that he had once done. He supposed it was more a pang of jealousy.
He wasn’t so much jealous that she was free to walk around, attend events, or even enjoy a stroll in the park without pointed stares. It was more the fact that Lady Abigail still held her innocent bliss that he once had. The joy of the season without the knowledge of what life was really like outside of the peerage.
He did figure that perhaps he had been too harsh on Lady Abigail. He was determined, as he went to his room to quickly freshen up and dress, to attempt to make a better impression on her this evening.
He wasn’t sure why it mattered so much to him that Lady Abigail thought better of him, but it did. Perhaps his goal to win over her favor would help bring back the part of him that he had lost over the last few years.
Lord Gilchrist did his best to be considerate and kind to his mother as they made the short ride over in the carriage. It still irritated him so that she would never look at him again.
He was torn with the turmoil of wondering what the cause was. Was Lady Gilchrist truly so disgusted by her own son’s face? Or was looking at the man who caused her beloved husband’s death unbearable?
Part of him wanted to berate the woman. Insist she forgive him for his crimes. He was, after all, her only son.
He knew that these feelings stemmed from his desire to relieve his own guilt. Perhaps, he thought, if his mother could love him despite his faults, he too would find a way to do so.
But for the most part, he sat in the carriage, silently contemplating his own disgust for himself. The earl didn’t think he had the right to desire forgiveness from his mother.
He had taken his own selfish course with no regard of the consequences. He was a horrible person who didn’t deserve the lavish life he lived.
If Lord Gilchrist was truly honest with himself, he wished he had never returned home from that fateful night that left him permanently scarred. At least then, he would not have to look into the faces of the ones he had let down.
“Everything will be wonderful,” Lady Louisa said from the seat next to him.
She laid her delicate gloved hand on top of his and patted it gently. It was something that he had often said and done to her. Lady Louisa was usually the one overcome with nerves when it came to social gatherings.
She had often feared misstepping or misspeaking. Worse was that many of the social events that they attended also included ladies who seemed to deem it necessary to persecute her for her average looks and meek personality.
In times past, he would sense her discomfort and give her the same words of encouragement. He looked over at her to see the smile on her thin lips. She was well aware of the memories that now played through the earl's mind.
He looked her over, seeing much of her for the first time since his return home. He had initially thought Louisa the same little sister he had left. Indeed, like himself, she had seen much sorrow since his departure and the result showed on her face.
There was, however, something else about her. It was an air of bravery. She seemed more confident now than she had been in the past. Lord Gilchrist contemplated the origin of such change in his sister as they pulled up in front of the vast expanse of the Wintercrest house.
Chapter 10
Lady Abigail was not looking forward to tonight's dinner. Though it would be a whole evening with her dearest friends and family, it would also be with Lord Gilchrist. Try as she might, even with her brother’s encouraging words, she couldn’t bring herself to forgive Lord Gilchrist for his rude behavior.
The whole point of the night was to celebrate his return officially. Lady Abigail imagined Lord Gilchrist would only take the opportunity to offend more people with his grotesque personality.
In the small group were Lady Gilchrist and Lady Louisa, the Marquess of Huntington, his family, and the little trio currently residing in the Wintercrest house.
The duke had also suggested inviting Lord and Lady Cunningham, as they were very close friends of the family. The duchess, however, shot down the idea instantly. Lady Lydia Prescott, their only daughter, had been quite a tormentor of Lady Louisa in their youth and it would not do to have any negativity in tonight's party.
The whole goal of the night for Lady Louisa and the duchess was to ease Lord Gilchrist back into society. They strived to make it a peaceful and comforting environment from the moment Gilchrist entered.
To start, the rooms were much darker than usual, with sparse candles lighting the way. Even the dining room was lit only enough to see the plate in front of you.
Lady Abigail expected that if they wanted the night to be peaceful and calming for the earl, then she would have been better suited to staying in her room. These weeks away from Lord Gilchrist had only spurred on her desire to give the earl a piece of her mind if he attempted to speak to her again.
When the earl
entered the house with his party, Lady Abigail was shocked to see his scars anew. Every bit of his body was dressed to perfection in his long, black velvet dinner jacket and charcoal pantaloons. He chose to wear the more fashionable high boots and still carried his very elegant cane.
It was a breathtaking frame of a man until he removed his velvet hat. Then the whole of his face was shown and it was just as shocking as the first time she had seen it.
Lady Abigail did her best to look in the opposite direction of where he was seated while the now completed dinner party sat in the larger of the drawing rooms.
The Earl of Gilchrist was doing his best to be on his most polite behavior for the sake of his mother and sister. The fact that the rooms were barely lit didn’t escape his notice. He assumed it was for the benefit of the other guests, who would otherwise be put off from their meals if they saw him in full light.
It was entirely irritating to him. If they didn’t want to see his face, then they should not have forced him into this ridiculous dinner.
The look on Lady Abigail’s face, when he entered the house and removed his hat, was not missed by him. It was pure disgust and a reminder of the monster he had become.
Though he had made it his mission to win over her friendship for the sake of his sister's happiness, he couldn’t help but be more and more irritated by Lady Abigail's actions.
First was that shocked look at the beginning. Lord Gilchrist thought that a lady with proper breeding, who was already prepared for his disfigurement, should have held herself with a little more decorum.
To make matters worse, she openly went out of her way to avoid him. At first, Gilchrist had tried to join a small group of women including Lady Abigail, Lady Fortuna, and Lady Huntington.
Lady Abigail took one look at his approach and excused herself from the group immediately before his arrival. This event occurred two more times before Colton was assured that she was going out of her way to avoid him.
It was humiliating to be treated like a plague by this lady. All his plans to show her kindness and extend the hand of friendship disappeared from his mind as he sunk in his sour mood yet again.
Finally, the dinner gong rang and all made their way to their seats. Much to Colton’s disappointment, he was seated right next to Lady Abigail. It was apparent she too was not aware of this seating arrangement and gave a visible frown as she saw the earl take his place.
A respectable gentleman would have greeted the lady, having not spoken to her thus far, but Colton purposefully did no such thing.
“Lady Abigail, that dress is the perfect shade of pink. I remember you looking at the fabric just the other day on Bond Street. It couldn’t possibly have been made so quickly,” Lady Fortuna said from across the table.
Lady Abigail was happy for the compliment on her new dress. Very often, her mother would instruct her to buy gowns in any shade other than pink. The Dowager Duchess of Wintercrest believed it clashed too much with the ruby red of Lady Abigail's hair.
Lady Abigail wasn’t entirely sure if that was the sole reason why she made an effort to buy dresses in every shade of rose. She did also enjoy the color.
With her mother not in town this season, she happily ordered her first new dress in the latest fashion in this otherwise forbidden color to her.
She was very proud of the garment, because not only had she picked the fabric of soft pink in iridescent silk, but she also had a hand in the design. She had chosen the more fashionable square neckline and, of course, the high waisted bodice. For the inner petticoat, she decided on a rich cream and had a very thin lace trail around all the trims to match the inner skirt.
“It is the same fabric,” Lady Abigail informed her cousin. “Mrs. Jenkins’ speed, however, was due to the fact that the dress was already made in the shade when we first saw the fabric. I simply had her add the lace trimming.”
“And what a smart decision it was. I think it completes the form perfectly,” Lady Fortuna continued as she delicately ate her food.
The scoff coming from the seat next to Lady Abigail didn’t escape her notice. She turned to the Earl of Gilchrist for the first time that evening.
Lady Abigail was well aware that she was sitting on his good side and no one sat on the other. She suspected this was done deliberately. One, to save him the discomfort of someone on his scarred side. Two, it provided a chance for the earl and herself to get better acquainted.
Since Lady Abigail had made her opinion of Lord Gilchrist known to the duchess, Isabella had made it her mission to change it. It was most likely her doing that Lady Abigail was stuck next to the earl.
Lord Gilchrist was irritated enough that he was stuck at the end of the table right next to Lady Abigail. He was doing his best to eat quickly and just get through the night. He couldn’t help but overhear the conversations that Lady Abigail was having with the others.
It was all utter nonsense she jabbered on about. First, the weather as of late with her aunt. Then, her cousin and Lady Abigail spent a whole ten minutes going on incessantly about her dress.
Lord Gilchrist hadn’t realized he had made his thoughts verbal until Lady Abigail’s eyes turned on him.
From this view of Lord Gilchrist, Lady Abigail only saw a handsome man with a rotten soul. First he had tormented her the whole night through, continually following her from one group to another. Then, in complete duplicitousness, he chose to ignore her from the moment he sat down. To add another insult on top of injury, he had just ridiculed her discussion.
“Is there an opinion on my dress you wish to share, Lord Gilchrist?” she asked with her eyes narrowed.
For a moment, she saw the memory of that handsome, charming man her sister-in-law spoke of. He certainly had a dashing figure, with his perfectly square chin, gorgeous blue eyes, and blonde hair that even shined in this little bit of light.
But then the earl turned his head ever so slightly to give his response back. It was not because of the scars that his disposition changed, for even with his slight movement Lady Abigail could not see them. It was the look of disgust that transformed him from handsome gentleman to horrible rake.
“Nothing that would be worth my time,” Lord Gilchrist replied with a snarky smirk.
“Oh, I am truly sorry that your time has been thus wasted listening in on someone else’s conversation. Though it must be hard not to, when you refuse to have one of your own.”
It seemed the whole room went silent at their exchange.
Lord Gilchrist couldn’t believe the audacity of this little chit. First, she ignored him and blatantly avoided him from the start. Then, when he did the same to her, she had the audacity to call him out on it.
“Forgive me for not engaging you on inquiries of your slippers or hair ribbon,” Lord Gilchrist said, looking to the matching pink ribbon that wove in and out of her red hair. He had to admit it was a beautiful contrast. “Next time, I will do better to speak to them before you turn and run the other way.”
Lady Abigail’s mouth opened wide at his words.
“I only avoided you,” Lady Abigail hissed under her breath, “to prevent me from saying something I might later regret. Apparently, you don’t hold value in that principle.”
“Well, I am not of a very delicate constitution. I can handle anything you wish to say to me,” Lord Gilchrist countered.
“Are you suggesting that my constitution is so weak I would faint at any words that come out of your mouth?”
“I merely mean that you may say to me what you wish,” Lord Gilchrist responded exasperatedly. Lady Abigail seemed to find fault with every little thing he said.
He wasn’t sure he liked this conversation any more than when they were pretending the other didn’t exist. It wasn’t going in any way how he had planned it.
Lady Abigail was such an infuriating creature. He had to admire her for not wilting away as another lady would, but he also wished she wasn't quite so determined to express her dislike for him in front of a whole wide
-eyed table of his only remaining friends and family.
“I’m quite sure there is nothing of a disagreeable nature that Lady Abigail would wish to say to you,” the duchess chimed in from her far side of the table.
It was easy to see that Isabella was desperately trying to save the dinner. For Lady Abigail, and even the Earl of Gilchrist, there would be no salvaging a connection between the two of them.
It seemed both their minds were set about the other. There were no foreseeable means for them to come to an agreement from this point on.
The rest of the meal was spent returning to the fact that one didn't see the other. Lord Gilchrist ate quickly and excused himself to the comfort of smoking cigars with the duke, while the ladies took their refreshments back in the drawing room.
Both determined, in their own way, never to be in the presence of the other, if one could help it.
Chapter 11
Lady Abigail enjoyed the feeling of the spring breeze as she took a leisurely turn around Hyde Park in Lord Heshing’s gig. It was the third time this week, in fact, that the two could be found turning the park together.
Lord Heshing was making a habit of calling on Lady Abigail and, for the first time in her life, she didn’t mind this lord’s attention to her.
She realized upon opening her eyes that a couple of older ladies were looking her way and whispering. She suddenly felt self-conscious and made sure the parasol was keeping the glorious sun off her face.
“I expect we are starting to cause a stir,” Lord Heshing said, tipping his head in the direction of the ladies.
“Whatever for?” Lady Abigail asked, truly confused why anyone would want to gossip about something as silly as carriage ride occurrences in the park. It happened often enough with just about every member of the ton.
Lord Heshing smiled over at her as he eased his horses on. It was a breathtaking moment for Lady Abigail when he did this. He seemed to cause little flutters all over her body.