by Abby Ayles
She was quiet as they made their way to the hospital and the three other ladies split off in the other direction. Lord Gilchrist reached out his arm to Lady Abigail as he had before and when she gripped it, she leaned on him more heavily than before.
He turned to her then, full of concern. She did look decisively paler and he was sure he could see perspiration beading along the red ringlets that framed her face.
"Lady Abigail, whatever is the matter?” he asked, turning her to face him head-on.
He held both her elbows to steady her.
“I wasn’t feeling quite myself this morning. I thought it would pass, but the carriage ride has seemed to make it worse,” she said.
Her eyes were deep in concentration, staring straight ahead at the small flower on the earl’s lapel.
“Why did you not say something?” he asked increasingly concerned.
“Today was such a special day for all of us. I am sorry to say I was selfish and didn’t want to miss it.”
“It is not selfish at all to want to see your hard work to its new owner. I cannot let you continue in this state, however. I will take you home right away.”
“No, please don’t leave on my account. If you would but help me to the carriage, I am sure I will be fine.”
“Nonsense,” he said, steering Lady Abigail’s frame back toward the door. He gripped her hand to turn her and gave a start. “Why, Abigail, you are burning up. That settles it. I am seeing you home right now."
Lady Abigail had to admit she did feel a bit warm. She had done her best to hide her uneasy feeling all morning long, hoping it was going to pass. The jolting of the carriage ride had been too much, in the end.
“What about your sister and the others? You can’t just leave them here without an escort or carriage.”
“I will have the headmaster go and explain that you are not feeling well. I will ensure that you get home safely and then return for the others,” he assured Lady Abigail.
Lord Gilchrist motioned to the headmaster, who was standing at their side, to go and tell the ladies what he had just said.
The headmaster very much looked like a cat with its hair all ruffled out of place. He had no choice but to do as the earl bid him.
It was not usual for the earl to make demands of those below him, especially when he knew that they would be very displeased with it. This was an emergency situation, however. He was overcome with anxiety and knew he would feel no better until he, himself, saw Lady Abigail safely home.
Though the carriage ride was made as quickly as could be allowed in the streets of London, it felt much too long for the earl. All the jolting and tossing of the ride only seemed to cause Lady Abigail more discomfort.
Finally, they arrived at Lady Abigail's residence. The footman hurried to the door to get proper assistance. Lord Gilchrist, on the other hand, did his best to help Lady Abigail out of the carriage.
Lady Abigail felt quite weakened from the second ride and, between that and her stifling corset, couldn’t seem to find enough air. She feared she might faint as the sky seemed to swirl above her.
Without even knowing it, she was caught up in the arms of the Earl of Gilchrist. He walked as quickly as he could without the help of his cane, a most painful act, while he carried the swooned Lady Abigail through the small front garden and up the front steps.
Just as he felt his hurt leg could take no more, the duke came rushing through the hall and relieved Gilchrist of his burden. He had his sister taken swiftly to her room and a doctor called.
Gilchrist was unsure if he should stay or wait in the hallway for the duke’s return. When the man finally descended the stairs again, Gilchrist rushed to meet him.
“Whatever is the matter with her?” Lord Gilchrist asked, full of concern.
“I can’t say entirely. Abigail is burning with fever, though,” the duke responded.
“I must return. I left the others at the Foundling Hospital,” Lord Gilchrist said, torn between staying and going.
“Come with me into my office and tell me what occurred this afternoon,” the duke encouraged instead. “Perhaps it will shed some light on Abigail's condition. I have sent for the doctor and he should be here shortly.”
“If you would be so kind as to wait for him to convey what you tell me, I will go and retrieve the other ladies. It seems that you too might need a rest.”
The two gentlemen walked down the hall and into the duke's office. They both had a good dram of whiskey. The earl’s leg was extraordinarily tender and his body exhausted from walking on it, even over that short a distance, without the assistance of his cane.
It didn’t matter a whit to him. At the moment that Lady Abigail swooned he thought nothing of the pain in his leg. He only had a resounding urge to get Lady Abigail to the care she would need.
Soon after Lord Gilchrist told the duke all that had transpired, the duke left to collect the others and the doctor arrived. Lord Gilchrist told his story for the second time before the doctor went to look in on his patient.
Upon his return, the doctor informed the earl that Lady Abigail most likely had ague fever from spending too much time out of doors. He doled out his treatments and promised to return tomorrow to check on her condition.
After the doctor left, the duke and ladies arrived. Lord Gilchrist again relayed the details given him, but he was entirely done in. The whole party was invited to stay for a small dinner before returning to their own homes and beds.
The earl would only leave once the duchess promised she would send both he and Lady Louisa any word on a change in Lady Abigail’s condition right away. Though it wasn’t a happy time, the duchess couldn’t have been more thrilled to see this dear gentleman, who was like a brother to her, care so much for the sister-in-law she cherished deeply.
Chapter 18
It took Lady Abigail a week before her fever broke and the sickness passed. After that, it was two more weeks before she felt well enough to get out of bed. The illness that had overcome her so suddenly had taken quite a toll on her frame.
The Duke of Wintercrest informed his sister that he was not happy to have his house become a revolving door as, each day, both the Earl of Heshing and the Earl of Gilchrist stopped by to ask on her condition.
As Abigail sat in bed, the duchess, now growing uncomfortably large with child, sat by her side and read or just kept Lady Abigail company while she recovered.
They didn’t speak too much about the two gentlemen who seemed to call each day. Lady Abigail, herself, was too scared to bring the matter up. She was sure that the duchess would favor Lord Gilchrist because of their close connection.
Lady Abigail, for her part, was not of strong enough mind to even consider what it meant to have both gentlemen coming by each day. She knew as she grew in health and strength, she would have to determine which way her heart was leaning, as both men were making an unmistakable gesture.
Soon, Abigail was feeling herself again. She was a little disappointed that the season was soon coming to an end, however, and her small group would be returning to Wintercrest for the duchess’s impending birth.
It was her first evening out since her illness. It was a lavish ball, one of the last for the season. She was happy to see all the smiling faces, such as Lady Louisa and Lady Fortuna.
She couldn’t help the sting of regret, knowing that Lord Gilchrist wouldn’t be in attendance. She had, of course, assumed he wouldn’t go, but a small bit of her hoped he would have anyway.
She seemed to forget her regret when the Earl of Heshing appeared and spent much of the evening dancing with her. She was happy to see him again, as well. She had realized that with his devotion to her wellbeing, there must be something deeper to the man than just the superficiality she had seen in the past.
The Earl of Heshing also seemed to want to make his intentions clear to both her and the rest of the crowd that night as he kept to her side. She was happy for the company as he was a charming gentleman.
&n
bsp; She told herself that Heshing was a good choice and that if the moment came that he asked for her hand, she wouldn’t refuse him. It would be a good choice to make, and her and Gilchrist could remain friends.
Though she spoke the words in her mind, she knew in her heart they couldn’t be true. There was a reason that in the time she spent with Gilchrist, she had mentioned everything about her coming and going, except for Heshing. She knew deep down that he would be unhappy to hear it.
If she were truly honest with herself, she cared too much for Gilchrist to share anything with him that might bring him pain. Lady Abigail was sure that the resulting separation of their friendship would bring her pain as well.
As Lady Abigail danced through the night with the Earl of Heshing, she didn’t see the furrowed brow of her disapproving brother or the worried look on her sister-in-law's face. It wasn’t until the carriage ride home that Lady Abigail noticed that the other two in her party were filled with concern.
“Whatever is the matter with you two?” she asked on the return carriage ride to their London house.
Both the duke and duchess exchanged looks.
“It’s just that you seemed very close to Lord Heshing tonight,” the duchess said as delicately as she could muster.
“And what is wrong with that? Is it because I have chosen him over Lord Gilchrist?”
Until the moment that Lady Abigail spoke those words, it had not fully sunk in that her actions that night did reflect a decision of one gentleman over the other. She worried whether she had made the right one, but it was too late to change it now.
“We only want your happiness,” the duchess quickly responded. “Of course I was overjoyed to see you and Colton getting close, but if that is not where your heart is, I respect that. It is only…”
“Only what?” Lady Abigail encouraged, unsure of why they would be so hesitant toward Lord Heshing.
“It is only that there have been some concerning things spoken of Lord Heshing,” the duke answered for his wife.
“Concerning things? Such as the fact he likes to race horses? You knew this already. You cannot disparage the man for such silly propriety when you yourself did the same,” Lady Abigail retorted.
“There were some rumors going about the gentlemen’s clubs that he took heavily to gambling.”
“He has told me he enjoys the activity. I find no fault with it. It seems he also wins often, so all the better,” Lady Abigail defended.
The duke gave a long sigh. He was about to tell his sister something he would rather not.
“When you were ill, Lord Gilchrist came by often. Over the course of time, we discussed a multitude of things. I mentioned that Heshing had also been coming around. He told me a very unnerving tale of the gentleman.”
“Go on,” Lady Abigail said with her chin held high. She was willing to accept any tale that might be told with courage.
“It seems that, once a month, Gilchrist goes to White’s to meet with a solicitor for business. It was on this occasion that he found Heshing arguing with the proprietor. Heshing had racked up a substantial sum of losses in one night and refused to pay the bill the house had footed for him. For this reason, his membership was revoked.”
“I am sure it was just a misunderstanding that Lord Gilchrist misheard.”
“I suggested the same thing,” her brother continued. “But Gilchrist informed me that he was right in the middle of the conversation and had to even make sure that Heshing was removed from the building due to his severe outburst.”
Lady Abigail sat back in her chair, truly shocked by this news. Lord Heshing had always made it seem like he had never lost a bet. She would never have considered him to be such a man as to lose and then refuse to pay money owed. She was certain that, somewhere, there had to be a misunderstanding.
He was too kind and light-hearted of a gentleman to picture him giving outbursts and creating scenes in public places. She just couldn’t bring herself to reconcile the man she had grown to know with the one her brother was describing.
“I am well aware that Heshing may show up at our door tomorrow asking for your hand after a night like tonight,” the duke continued. “I am afraid to say that, after the things I have learned of him, I could not, in good conscience, allow such a match.”
“Are you saying that I would need your approval and you would not give it?”
It had been well understood, in years past, that the duke would allow his sister to marry anyone of her choosing.
“I will not deny you on paper, but I will not approve of such a match unless Heshing can vouch for his behavior in a satisfactory manner.”
Lady Abigail looked between her brother and the duchess. She hoped that Isabella would come to her aid as she had in times past when the duke was being unreasonable. Instead, Isabella couldn’t look her in the eye.
It was then that Lady Abigail realized that the duchess agreed with her husband on the judgment of Lord Heshing. Part of her wanted to accuse them for choosing Gilchrist over Heshing, but in her heart, she could not consider Gilchrist would give false information that would affect the lives of others.
Lord Gilchrist spent the entirety of the season locked behind doors because of the wrongs others had said about him. Never would a man who had experienced such mistreatment dream of doing the same to another without just cause.
“And if I choose to marry Lord Heshing despite your disapproval?”
No one spoke after Lady Abigail asked this question. Every member of the carriage knew the answer.
The duke and his wife could see no way of accepting a man who seemed to have no honor. If Lady Abigail chose this course that was started that very night in front of the whole town, she would find herself separated from her family.
She thought back to the day that Heshing had taken her in his gig. He had spoken of his lonely existence without another family member to comfort him.
If she chose this path, she would be estranged from at least the duke and duchess, if not the others as well. Was she willing to give up her close connections with her beloved nieces and nephew? To never know the small babe that grew in Isabella’s belly?
She partly felt enraged that her brother would ask her to make such a choice. To not even be willing to speak with Heshing and discern for himself the truth of the matter. She was sure if she asked Heshing, he would clear this misunderstanding.
Lady Abigail thought on the Earl of Gilchrist again. She didn’t want to make him out to be a falsifier of information, but in this one instance, he just had to be wrong. She was certain that by morning she would find a reasonable way to resolve the issues between her family, Lord Gilchrist and Lord Heshing.
Chapter 19
The next morning, Lady Abigail was wracked with nerves, having not slept well. She paced the drawing room as she hoped that Heshing would call on her. When the butler did come to inform her of a caller, it was Gilchrist instead.
Lady Abigail felt no disappointment in the announcement. Now she could bring her connection to Heshing to his attention and everything would be fixed.
“I’m glad to see you in good health,” Lord Gilchrist said as he sat down in the morning room with Lady Abigail.
“I wanted to thank you,” Lady Abigail said firstly, “for helping me home. I’m sure I ended up being a great burden, literally, if my brother’s telling was correct.”
“It was not more than I could bear,” Lord Gilchrist said with a humble smile.
“I hope I didn’t cause you great pain, though,” Lady Abigail added.
Gilchrist shook his head no. In truth, Lady Abigail had no idea the depths of pain that he had felt. None of it had been caused by his leg. It had been weeks of torment, wondering if she would recover.
Even worse was every time he got the courage up to make the short distance to her house to call on her well-being, there always seemed to be an incident.
One day, in fact, he had left the duke's house after calling, only to walk out to a maid t
aking a child on a daily walk. The child had screamed in terror from one look at him. For several nights after, his dreams had been haunted by the image of crying, fearful children.
“I was grateful to hear that you came so often to check on me. I know that must have been a hardship for you.”
"I cannot lie and say that it was easy to do, but…” Lord Gilchrist seemed to take a steadying breath, “it was worth the discomfort to hear that you were mending with each and every visit.”
Lady Abigail looked down at her hands. She could hear the words that Lord Gilchrist was not speaking. He was telling her the affection he felt for her.
“Anyway, it was good to be assured that you were well before I returned to my country estate for good,” he said when she gave no response.
Lady Abigail’s head shot up in shock at his words.
“For good? What does that mean?”
“It means just that,” he said with a nervous chuckle. “Honestly, I can bear the scrutiny of society and the confines of my small London house no longer. I will return to my estates where I will at least have the ease to walk about my own grounds.”
The words were like a sinking rock in Lady Abigail’s stomach. Was he leaving because she didn’t reciprocate his words? She hated the thought that they would be separating on bad terms. It tore through her in a way she had never experienced before.
“Lord Gilchrist,” Lady Abigail said softly. “I must ask you something.”
“Whatever it is, I will answer the best I can,” he replied.
“Last night, after the ball, my brother told me some disturbing news. You see, I have been spending a lot of time with the Earl of Heshing. Christian mentioned that you had seen some ungentlemanly conduct from Lord Heshing.”
Lord Gilchrist visibly stiffened at the name. It had been a hard thing to hear that he was not the only one coming to call on Lady Abigail. When he had learned that it was Lord Heshing who was also concerned for her welfare, he had felt no choice but to tell the duke.