by Tom Hoffman
“You put vegetables in my oatmeal?” Orville’s spoon froze halfway between the bowl and his mouth.
“It’s more of a fruit than a vegetable, I suppose, although it’s quite difficult to determine exactly what it is. Most of the plants in my garden were started from ancient seed packets I discovered in the Cube, probably left there by the Elders, or perhaps the Anarkkians.”
Orville’s spoon did not move. “You put something in my oatmeal and you don’t know what it is? It might be something the Elders or the Anarkkians left behind fifteen hundred years ago? That doesn’t sound like a very good idea. Suppose it’s a deadly poisonous plant?”
“You just said how tasty it was. I daresay you would not be saying such a thing if you’d just eaten a deadly poisonous plant. In fact, when I think about it, you wouldn’t be saying anything at all. Ha ha ha ha!”
“You can’t tell if a plant is poisonous by how it tastes!” Panic filled Orville, his arms and legs suddenly weak and shaky.
Proto gave another loud staccato laugh, slapping his leg. “Ha ha ha ha! Just one of my extremely humorous jokes. I wouldn’t be much of a chef if I didn’t scan the ingredients with a nuclonic wide spectrum screener to make certain there were no deadly toxins or venoms.”
Orville lowered his spoon, eyeing Proto. He knew Proto prided himself on having a highly developed sense of humor, and some of his jokes were really funny, but an equal number of them were very perplexing. “Just so you know, it’s really not funny to make someone think they may have eaten a deadly poisonous plant.”
“I do apologize, I had thought it to be quite humorous, but clearly I misjudged the effect it would have on you. I shall store your negative response in my data repository, filing it under potentially non-humorous humor relative to the ingestion of deadly poisonous plants. Now, would you care for another non-poisonous flapcake?”
“Um… I’m kind of full, thanks. They were really good though. Hey, I just remembered, have you ever heard of someone called Mendacium?”
“That’s a peculiar name. Where did you hear it?”
“I forget exactly, I was just wondering if you knew who he was.”
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you off the top of my head, but I shall be happy to research it for you. Only last week I set up a remote viewing port connecting me to the information storage crystals back at the Cube. By the time you get home from the Book Emporium I shall have identified this mysterious character. Is he up to no good? Are we off on another terrifying adventure fraught with deadly peril?”
“Umm, I don’t think so. I was just curious about who he is.” Orville tried to sound nonchalant, neglecting to mention that Mendacium was twelve feet tall and a dark wizard from ages long lost.
After breakfast, Orville grabbed his coat and headed for the front door. He checked to make sure Proto wasn’t watching, then flipped open the big dictionary on the entryway table. Closing his eyes, he fanned through the pages, poking his paw into the book, randomly selecting one word.
“Today’s word is blustery. I like the sound of it. Blustery, blustery. Its definition is ‘weather characterized by strong winds, wind blowing in strong gusts’. On a windy day I can say, ‘Quite a blustery day today, wouldn’t you agree, Sophia?’” Orville grinned. This was going to work, Sophia would be impressed with his new vocabulary. He took out his note pad and wrote down the word and its definition.
“Bye, Proto! I’m off to the Book Emporium!” Orville stepped onto the front porch, slamming the door behind him.
Chapter 3
Orville’s New Hat
Orville thoroughly enjoyed his daily walks to work. It was a pleasant and relaxing time, strolling down the winding country lane past three small farms and through a lovely forest. Each day was different, some days were hot, sunny and dusty, some frigid and snowy, or cool and crisp, the ground covered with crunchy orange, yellow, and red leaves. Or, like today, extremely windy, the sudden gusts swirling up clouds of dust.
“This is perfect, a blustery day! I’ll send Sophia a thought cloud to meet me for lunch, then I’ll use blustery in a sentence when I talk to her.”
Orville strode down the road, the sporadic winds whipping up dust and leaves. As he strolled along, an imaginary conversation with Sophia was playing out in his mind.
“You have such a marvelous vocabulary, Orville. I wish I knew as many words as you do. You’re really smart.”
Orville’s pleasant reverie was cut short by a brown and purple blur flashing past him. He ducked down, afraid he was being attacked by a large bird, but when he looked up he saw this was not the case. The brown and purple object which had sailed past him was not an angry bird, but an errant hat, a hat which was soaring and whirling above him, carried to dizzying heights by the blustery wind.
“Someone lost their hat!” Orville looked behind him, but there was no one to be seen. “That’s odd, I wonder where it came from?” He chased after the hat, watching as it soared higher and higher, finally descending into the top of a tall tree, trapped securely between two branches. With a shrug Orville continued on, then stopped and turned, looking up at the hat.
“That’s an adventurer’s hat, brown felt with a bright purple feather, the right brim folding up to the crown. It looks like a nice one, and they’re not cheap. I should rescue it. Maybe Master Marloh will know who it belongs to.”
Orville was well aware there were countries where the art of shaping, or using the mind to manipulate energy, was understood and well accepted as part of life. Unfortunately, Symoca was not one of those countries. The true nature of shaping was not generally understood here, many misinformed mice labeling it dark and dangerous magic, opinions stemming from age old superstitious tales, not based in the hard facts of science and deep physics. There were also a good number of mice in Symoca who did not believe shaping actually existed, mice who thought it to be nothing more than a whimsical tale created solely for the amusement of young mouselings. One consequence of this situation was the Symocan Shapers Guild and the Metaphysical Adventurers were forced to keep their existence a closely guarded secret.
Orville glanced around to make certain he was not being watched. “It’s wedged between those two branches. A small force beam at just the right angle should do it.” He stepped ten feet to the left and aimed his paw at the hat. A brilliant beam of red light shot out, hitting the ensnared hat with just enough force to dislodge it from it’s leafy prison. The hat tumbled down from the tree, landing on the dusty road in front of Orville. He scooped it up, looking for any clues which might identify the hat’s owner. A chill shot through him when he turned the hat. Affixed to the front was a small brass medallion embossed with the symbol of a coiled snake.
Orville’s eyes were wide. “That’s the medallion from my dream, the one above Mendacium’s chamber door, and it’s the same coiled snake I shaped in my sleep.”
He took a deep breath, trying to relax. “Maybe the castle dream was just my inner self telling me I was going to find this hat. That’s not so scary. It’s definitely not a new hat, but it’s a nice one. It’s old style, and the purple feather is amazing. You don’t see hats like this anymore. I wonder if it fits me?” Orville flipped the hat onto his head and to his delight found it to be a perfect fit.
“This will impress Sophia. Maybe I’ll get to keep it if we can’t find the owner.” Orville adjusted the hat to a jaunty angle and continued down the dusty road.
Wearing this new hat made Orville feel like a true rough and tumble adventurer. He raised one eyebrow. “Perhaps you have heard of me, I am Orville the Adventurer.” He ran his paw across the brim of his hat and snickered. He couldn’t wait to show Sophia.
Orville attempted a casual demeanor as he swung open the front door and stepped into the Book Emporium. Master Marloh glanced up from the front desk, eyeing Orville’s new hat.
“What a wonderful adventurers hat! Where in the world did you find it? I haven’t seen an old style hat like that in many years. Quite dashin
g, I must say.”
Orville ended the masquerade, unable to contain his excitement. “I found it on the way to work! The wind… um… is really blustery today and the hat blew past me and got stuck in a tree, so I rescued it.”
“A marvelous hat. You have no idea who it belongs to?”
Orville sighed, reminded that the hat wasn’t really his. “I don’t know. I looked around but I didn’t see anyone. I was hoping someone here might recognize it, since it’s an adventurers hat.”
“An excellent thought. Why don’t you leave it on the counter and perhaps someone will be able to identify the owner. That medallion with the coiled snake should help. It looks oddly familiar, but I can’t quite place it. Perhaps it will come to me later. We have two carts of new books which need to be placed on the shelves. That should take you a good portion of the day.”
“I’ll get started. I sent Sophia a thought cloud, she’s stopping by at noon. We’re going to have lunch behind the old barn, even though it’s such a blustery day.”
“Yes, quite blustery, indeed.” A barely perceptible smile crossed Master Marloh’s face. Yesterday Orville’s word had been lethargic. “I’ll let you know when she arrives.”
The morning passed quickly, the first cart of books nearly shelved when Orville heard Sophia’s voice coming from the front of the shop. He pushed the cart aside and darted through the racks to the front counter. He had decided not to mention his castle dream unless Sophia brought it up. He wanted to learn more about Mendacium before he said anything. He also knew Sophia’s thoughts regarding magic. She had told him time and time again there was no such thing as magic, only science that we don’t understand.
“Hi, Sophia, ready for lunch?”
Sophia gave Orville a hug. “Hi, best friend. Where should we go?”
Proto made us lunch. I thought we could eat behind the barn.
“That’s sounds perfect. We’ll be out of the wind.”
Master Marloh called out to Orville. “Don’t forget your hat.” He tossed the adventurers hat to Orville with a wink.
Orville flipped the hat onto his head and the two friends strolled out the front door. The brisk wind was whipping up small clouds of dust around them.
“Quite a blustery day, wouldn’t you say? I hope I don’t lose my adventurers hat.”
Sophia nodded. “It is windy out. We should be fine behind the barn though, and we’ll have plenty of warm sunshine there.”
“A blustery day, to be sure.”
Sophia stopped, turning to face Orville, looking directly at him.
Orville’s eyes widened. “What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Why are you saying blustery so much? Yesterday you couldn’t stop saying how lethargic you were, and today you can’t stop saying how blustery it is. Let’s hear it.”
“I don’t know, those words are just part of my vocabulary.”
“Orville, it’s me you’re talking to, Sophia Mouse, your best friend in the world. We’ve linked our minds twice. We know everything about each other. Spill it.”
Orville gave a painful sigh. “Fine. Every morning I pick a word out of the dictionary and write it down in my notebook and try to use it at least ten times during the day. Yesterday’s word was lethargic, today’s word is blustery.”
“Why are you doing that?” She could barely hear Orville’s mumbled reply.
“Umm… I was trying to impress you?”
Sophia said nothing, but took Orville’s paw, leading him to their lunch spot behind the barn. She sat on the wooden bench and motioned for him to sit next to her. “Why are you trying to impress me?”
“I don’t know, maybe because you’re so smart and I wanted you to think I was too?”
Sophia squeezed Orville’s paw. “Let me explain something to you. There are many different ways to be smart. I learned all about it in my science classes on Quintari. A long time ago they used to think a mouse was either smart or not smart, but it doesn’t work like that at all. There are actually sixteen different ways you can be smart. Some mice are smart in music, some in art, some in writing, some in math, some in understanding how mice think, some in understanding how the universe works. I could go on and on. Do you remember that big set of blue encyclopedias in the school library?”
“Yes.”
“Would you say they’re really smart?”
“Huh? Books can’t be smart.”
“Exactly. Just because a mouse has a lot of facts stored in their head doesn’t mean they’re really smart, it just means they have a good memory. Memory is important, but it doesn’t make you smart. Look at Mirus Mouse, he can’t remember what he told us five minutes after he said it, but he’s a brilliant inventor. He’s a genius. I know a lot of facts and big words and a lot about science and I do happen to be really smart, but in some ways you’re smarter than I am. Sometimes I’m jealous of how smart you are.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“You see things most mice would never notice, you find hidden connections between things that don’t seem to be connected. You find puzzles and mysteries everywhere. You noticed the clockwork glowbirds, you noticed your papa’s marble rolling uphill. It was you who suggested we feed Proto’s tasty little cakes to the sticky green ball creatures on Periculum. That saved our lives. I never would have thought of that. There’s a big difference between knowing lots of things other mice have already discovered, and discovering things no other mouse ever thought of. That’s what you do, Orville. You’re an amazing mouse and you don’t need to use big words to impress me. I’m already impressed.”
Orville looked down at his feet, trying to fight back the tears. “I always felt like kind of a dimmer next to you. Thanks for saying those things. It’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
Sophia squeezed Orville’s paw again. “I like your new hat. It makes you look really adventurous. You should keep wearing it.”
Orville grinned. “I found it on the way to work. I think it’s really old.”
“Can I look at it?”
Orville took off the hat and gave it to Sophia. She ran her paw over the coiled snake medallion, closing her eyes.
“What is it?”
“Nothing, it’s just a nice old hat. You should wear it. It makes you look handsome.”
Orville’s eyes narrowed slightly. There was something Sophia wasn’t telling him. He gave a silly grin. “You’re really jealous of how smart I am?”
Sophia rolled her eyes and groaned. “Give me my lunch, ninny.”
Chapter 4
Red Snackles
Orville ran all the way home from work, eager to find out if Proto had discovered anything about Mendacium the Dark Wizard. He dashed up the front steps and flung open the front door.
“I’m home!”
Proto’s head popped out from the kitchen doorway. “Just in time, I’m preparing dinner. Papa is upstairs and Mum will be home shortly. I need you to pick a few vegetables from the garden for the salad. I’m trying a new recipe. I like your new hat, very rugged and adventurous.”
“Thanks, I found it on the way to work. You’re sure all those weird vegetables you’re growing are safe?”
“Ha ha ha ha! Worried about eating a deadly poisonous salad?”
“Um… I think I mentioned that’s not really something to joke about? Some plants are very poisonous. You have to be careful what you eat.”
“Yes, you are quite right, some plants are very deadly indeed. I’ve read quite extensively about them. Very frightening. Perhaps one day I shall plant an entire garden of deadly poisonous plants and study them more closely. No need to worry about the plants in my garden, I have scanned them all and found them to be quite safe and very nutritious.”
“Well, that’s good. What do you need me to pick?”
“The name on the seed packet was impossible to read, so I’m calling them red snackles, a fanciful name that popped into my head. I’ll need ten of them. They’re red, thre
e inches long, slightly tart and very crunchy. If you have trouble picking them just give a loud shriek, something resembling the cry of the Gnorli bird should do nicely.”
Orville laughed politely. This was one of those times when Proto’s sense of humor eluded him. “Okay, cry of the Gnorli bird. Got it.” Orville grabbed the vegetable basket from the kitchen table and trooped into the backyard.
“Proto really has done a nice job with his garden. It’s huge, with lots of different plants. This won’t be so bad, the wind has died down and it’s nice and sunny. Not blustery anymore.” Orville grinned to himself, running his eyes across the array of brightly colored vegetables. He spotted the red snackles at the far end of the garden near the tall wooden fence. He adjusted his hat and flopped down on the ground next to the snackles.
“Okay, ten red snackles it is.” Orville grabbed one of the red vegetables and tugged at it gently. “I wonder if these are ripe enough? Vegetables should almost fall off the vine when they’re ripe.” He pulled harder on the snackle. It felt strange, as though the plant was resisting him, fighting back. Orville let go, staring at the plant with a frown. “Why can’t Proto grow normal vegetables like everyone else?”
He stood up and grabbed a snackle with both paws, giving it a sharp tug. The plant made a hissing noise and a bright green mist spewed out of it.
“AGGHH!! My eyes, it burns!” Orville staggered over to the wooden rain barrel next to the back porch and stuck his face in the water, rinsing his eyes. He stood up, glaring angrily at the red snackle plant. “I’m not going to be outwitted by a vegetable. Wait, cry of the Gnorli bird. Maybe Proto wasn’t trying to be funny.”
Orville stepped over to the red snackle plant, looking around to make certain no one was watching. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” He put both paws to his mouth and let loose a loud shriek, the closest he could come to the raucous cry of the Gnorli bird when it spots a giant carnivorous centipede, its favorite meal. Much to his surprise, one of the red snackles dropped off the plant, plopping onto the ground.