by S. H. Kolee
"Let's go."
"Simon, we can't just leave him here after you gave him a bloody nose!"
"No...it's okay." Neal rubbed his eyes, wincing when he accidentally brushed against his nose. "I think I just need to lie down for a while. I'm...I'm feeling a little disoriented."
"Okay," I said with a frown. "Call me if you need anything."
Simon frowned at my words but I just shrugged the look off.
Neal nodded as he lay down on the bed, still holding the towel against his nose.
"Well, I guess I'll see you later." I felt uncertain whether to try and maintain a friendship with Neal, but there really was no reason to, now that his vardoger was gone. He was a nice guy but I didn't have much room in my life right now for new friends.
Simon propelled me towards the door and I saw that the lock had been smashed. I raised my eyebrows at Simon, not knowing how he had the strength to force the door open, but he just shrugged.
"Don't bother showing up for basketball today," Simon said over his shoulder as we were leaving. "And delete Caitlin's number from your phone."
"Simon!" I was furious at his parting words and tried to turn to tell Neal to ignore him, but Simon was too strong for me, pushing me towards the elevator.
"It's not his fault," I hissed as Simon pushed the button for the elevator. The doors opened immediately and we stepped inside.
"I don't care. You have no reason to see him again."
I wanted to explode but there was a fellow student in the elevator and I could tell by his expression that he was fascinated by our conversation. I bit my tongue until we exited the elevator and stepped outside.
"Simon, you can't act like this! This is my life and I have to spend it protecting people. I can't have you getting all jealous and protective every time!"
Simon didn't answer. Instead he pulled me into an embrace, holding me so tight that it was hard to take a full breath. I felt his body shudder and his heart beating so rapidly that I could feel it against my chest.
"Simon?" I said uncertainly, my anger melting away. "What's wrong?"
"I thought I lost you." Simon's voice was low and tortured. "I snuck into the building but then I couldn't figure out which floor you were on. I went to every damn floor to try and find you but every asshole I asked didn't know which room was Neal's until I finally got to his floor. I knew something was wrong. I could feel it. Then when I saw you lying on the floor...I thought you were dead."
Simon's body jerked and I wrapped my arms around him, my anger just a distant memory. I rubbed my hand up and down his back, trying to soothe him. "But I'm okay, Simon. I'm okay."
Simon didn't answer as he continued to hold me. After a while, he finally pulled back so he could look me in the face. "Don't ask me to apologize for what I did. For how I'm reacting. I've never been so scared to lose someone."
I sighed, caressing his jaw with my hand. "It'll get easier as time goes on. You'll see." Simon looked like he was going to argue so I gently pressed my finger against his mouth. "I'm not saying it was the best idea to go to Neal's dorm room. I was just convinced that nothing would happen during daylight since it was night in my vision. But I have to do this, Simon. This is what I'm meant to do. Please don't make it harder than it already is. I need your support."
Simon's face tensed but he just nodded. He lowered his mouth and I leaned up towards him. He stroked the back my head as he pulled me closer, but he frowned when I flinched.
"I hit my head on the dresser. It's just a little sore," I explained quickly.
Simon's frown deepened as he turned me around, examining my head with gentle hands. "You have a pretty nasty bump here. We should go to the health center."
"I'm fine, Simon. I'll probably just have a headache for the rest of today."
"Caitlin, you've barely recovered from a concussion and now you've hit your head again. You need to get it checked out." Simon lifted an eyebrow as if he were daring me to disagree.
I sighed but nodded my head, knowing that he was right. Fortunately, the wait wasn't very long to see the nurse and she just told me to take some pain killers and to come back if it didn't get any better or if I had any nausea or difficulty in my thought processes or motor skills.
Sarah jumped up and hugged me when we got back to Simon's apartment, unable to hold back her tears. Kendra looked confused by her extreme reaction, but Sarah just said it was almost the time of the month for her and it always made her a little crazy. Fortunately, Kendra accepted the excuse and proceeded to regale Sarah with different solutions for PMS. Simon rolled his eyes and led me away to his bedroom as Kendra chattered on.
"What are we doing in here?" I asked. Simon guided me to the bed and he laid down, pulling on my arm to urge me to join him.
"Simon! Sarah and your sister are right outside the door! This isn't the time for a make-out session!"
My words belied my actions as I allowed Simon to pull me down. He gathered me in his arms, spooning me and holding me so close that it was hard to tell where I started and he ended.
"Just let me hold you for a little bit," he whispered. "I still have to convince myself that you're okay. That I haven't lost you."
I melted into him, feeling warm and safe and at home.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The rest of the day was uneventful. The boys never did end up playing basketball. Instead, Simon invited everyone to his place where we ordered Chinese takeout. Simon kept touching me the entire night, as if he needed to reassure himself that I was really okay. Everyone turned in early since we were all leaving for Thanksgiving the next morning.
The drive down to Connecticut on Wednesday morning was longer than expected, due to the heavy traffic. Even Kendra ran out of things to talk about and eventually fell asleep. I was too wired by the past day's events, even though I felt fatigue weighing me down.
"How much longer?" I asked, leaning my head back against the seat.
"We should get there in about an hour." Simon glanced at me and tightened his grip on my hand. "Tired?"
"A little. I shouldn't be complaining since you're the one driving."
"Anything else bothering you?"
I glanced behind me to make sure Kendra was asleep in the backseat. "Not really. It's just the closer I get to Connecticut, the harder it is to deal with the fact that my aunt is still missing."
"The police haven't come up with any leads?"
I sighed, thinking of my last conversation with the detective from my aunt's precinct. It was as if Aunt Brenda and her friends had disappeared into thin air and I didn't understand why more wasn't being done about it. The police seemed to believe that they disappeared of their own accord, but even their friends and families didn't seem to be overly concerned.
"No. No one seems to care. It's like everyone thinks they just simply walked away."
"I'm sorry, Caitlin. I know how hard it was to lose your aunt right after you found her."
I squeezed Simon's hand in gratitude for his sympathy. "I have to believe she's still out there somewhere, waiting for me to figure out what the hell is going on and save her." I felt an ache in my chest. "I can't tell you how satisfying it felt to save Neal yesterday. To destroy his vardoger. It was amazing. Empowering. But those feelings disappear when I think about the fact that I can help strangers, but I can't help my own aunt."
"We'll find out what happened to her, I promise." My heart dropped at Simon's words. Instead of saying that we'd find her, he had promised that we would find out what happened to her. It sounded like he assumed my aunt was dead.
I pushed the morbid thought aside. "Can we visit my aunt's house today?"
Simon glanced at me quickly before turning his gaze back to the road. "Of course."
The last hour of our drive went by quickly and soon we were pulling into Simon's circular driveway. Maxine greeted us with a warm hug and smile, ushering us inside.
"Your father is at work, of course, and your mother is visiting some friends but she
should be home soon. You kids must be starving."
Kendra nodded eagerly although she was still groggy from her nap in the car. "I could eat a horse!"
Maxine laughed. "I prepared a late lunch for you. Go ahead and sit down in the dining room and I'll bring it out."
I was antsy, wanting to go to my aunt's house before it got dark, but I didn't want to be rude so I followed Kendra into the dining room. Simon trailed behind me after he dropped our bags in the foyer. Simon always seemed to know what I was thinking because he pulled me back before we reached the dining room.
"We can go to your aunt's house after lunch."
"Thanks." I paused, thinking of the long drive we had just finished. "You must be exhausted from the drive. I can go on my own so you can rest if you let me borrow your car."
Simon raised an eyebrow. "Why do I always feel like you're trying to ditch me?"
I laughed at Simon's affronted expression. "I swear I'm not trying to ditch you. I just feel bad."
Simon gave me a quick kiss before leading me into the dining room. "Don't feel bad. I want to go with you."
Lunch was chicken salad sandwiches with homemade potato chips, along with a big plate of blueberry crumble bread. I found I was much hungrier than I thought and ate with gusto. Mrs. Crewe came home in the middle of lunch, her eyes lighting up as she caught sight of us. Kendra jumped up from her seat to give her mother a hug.
"Hey, Mom!" she exclaimed. "We just got back. You won't believe the great time I had at Maxwell. I got to go to a bar and listen to the Henchmen!"
Mrs. Crewe gave Simon a look of censure as he gave her a more sedate hug. "What's this about you taking your underage sister to a bar?"
"You know there's nothing more annoying than Kendra when she wants something," Simon said wryly. "Don't worry, she just came to hear the band. She didn't have a drop of alcohol."
Mrs. Crewe just shook her head but seemed to accept Simon's explanation. Her smile widened when she saw me, and she gave me a hug which I returned awkwardly.
"Caitlin, I'm so happy you could come for Thanksgiving!"
"Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it."
"Of course." Mrs. Crewe's smiled faded as her expression turned serious. "How are you doing with everything? It must still be a shock with what happened with Claudia."
If only she knew what had really happened. She would probably lock her son and daughter in their rooms and never let them out.
"I'm doing okay, thanks. I appreciate your concern." I tried to sound believable. "It's a day-by-day process, but it's slowly becoming like a nightmare that's fading."
"I'm happy to hear that." She glanced at our plates as we settled back down to finish our lunch. "What are you kids up to after you eat?"
"I told Megan I'd come over," Kendra chirped, shoving her last chip in her mouth and picking up her plate. She disappeared into the kitchen as Mrs. Crewe's attention turned to me and Simon.
"What about you two?"
"We're going to swing by Caitlin's aunt's house."
Mrs. Crewe frowned, looking displeased. "Is that a good idea? After everything that's happened there? Isn't it considered a crime scene now?"
"Even if we can't go inside, I'd still like to see it. I'm more concerned about my missing aunt than with what happened with Claudia." I felt discomfited by her disapproval. Even though Mrs. Crewe was warm and friendly, I never liked displeasing a parent. It was a result from continually being on the receiving end of my father's tirades.
Instead of getting angry, Mrs. Crewe grimaced sympathetically. "I understand. It must be so hard to not know where your aunt is."
I nodded, picking up the rest of my sandwich. My appetite had vanished but it was something to do. I was afraid that if we continued talking about my aunt, I would start crying.
Mrs. Crewe spent the rest of lunch asking us about school in general, in addition to Kendra's visit to Maxwell, wanting to ensure that her daughter had behaved.
"We'll be back in a little bit," Simon said as he stood and took my empty plate, stacking it on top of his own.
"I'll get that." Mrs. Crewe reached for the plates and stood. "Just make sure to be home in time for dinner at eight. We'll be eating late since your father has a late meeting."
"No problem." Simon grabbed my hand as I thanked Mrs. Crewe for lunch.
"Wait here," Simon said when we reached the foyer. "I just want to put our bags upstairs."
I nodded, waiting patiently while Simon ran up the stairs with our suitcases as if they weighed nothing. He was just gone a few minutes but my heart surged when I caught sight of him coming back down the stairs. He still made my pulse quicken every time I looked at him. He was so gorgeous and masculine and all mine. It was hard to process sometimes. Between vardogers and Simon, it was a wonder that I hadn't had a heart attack yet.
Simon grabbed my hand when he reached the bottom of the stairs. "Let's go."
The drive to my aunt's house was quick, almost too quick. I felt like I needed more time to prepare myself for seeing her house again. It was filled with so many ugly memories, but the hardest part was imagining what possibly could have happened to my aunt that night I gripped the phone and heard her scream on the other end.
Simon pulled up in the front of the house and cut the engine. The house looked so eerily normal, with no outward sign of the horror that had happened inside.
"Ready?"
I took a deep breath. "As ready as I'll ever be."
We got out of the car and walked to the front door. I mentally prepared myself before twisting the doorknob. A mixture of relief and disappointment flowed through me when I found that the door was locked. A part of me badly wanted to go inside, but another part of me was afraid of what I might find.
"I guess I should have expected this. I don't know why I thought I could waltz right in. The police must have locked it."
Simon rubbed the back of my neck, trying to release some of my tension. "At least we tried."
I bit my lip, thinking back to when I had shimmied through the basement window with Lenore. "There might be another way."
I walked to the side of the house and bent down in front of the window. I wasn't sure if I was glad when I was able to push it open, but Simon let his feelings be known loud and clear.
"No. You are not going in through that window."
"Simon, I've done it before. It's no big deal." I looked up at Simon, assessing his body. "You're way too big to fit, so I'll just climb in and open the front door for you."
Simon grabbed my hand as I kneeled and started to push one leg through the opening. "Are you crazy? This is breaking and entering."
"Technically, I'm not breaking anything. So I'm just entering."
"Caitlin." Simon said my name with exasperation.
"Simon, it's no big deal. Please. I need to go inside. I don't know why, but I just have this feeling that there's something in there I need to see."
Simon sighed but I could tell I had won by the slump of his shoulders. "Just be careful. The last thing you need is to bump your head again."
I carefully lowered myself through the window and onto the table below it, my head the last part of my body to slip inside. It was dim in the basement even though it was still light outside.
"Caitlin, are you okay?" Simon's voice sounded distant.
"I'm fine. I'll go upstairs and unlock the front door."
I jumped down from the table, coughing as I breathed in dust. I quickly made my way up the stairs, pausing for the briefest second before I opened the basement door.
The air inside the house was stuffy, almost suffocating. I was drawn to the living room. It looked completely normal except for the large blood stains on the carpet. I remembered Claudia's dead eyes as her life seeped out from her. I reminded myself that the real Claudia had died long before that.
I was drawn to the blood stains like a magnet, crouching down next to them. The fear came rushing back as if I were in the moment again, o
n the brink of death.
I don't know how long I was huddled down on the floor, but I was startled out of my reverie by pounding on the front door.
"Caitlin, what's taking so long? Open up!"
I shook my head, trying to banish the ugly memories, and stood, walking quickly to the front door. I unlocked it and Simon practically shoved his way in.
"What took so long?"
"Sorry. I was just...remembering."
Simon held my hand and we walked back into the living room. I let him guide me onto the sofa and I just sat there, thoughts crowding my head. Time seemed to stand still as I waited, but I wasn't sure what I was waiting for.
"We've been sitting here for almost an hour," Simon said, breaking into my thoughts. "We should get back."
I sighed, feeling defeated. "I feel like I'm missing something. I've read my aunt's journal so many times that I practically have it memorized. I keep looking for the answers that she told me I would find there, but I don't even know what the questions are. But one question I know I need the answer to, is whether my mother is still alive."
I stood up, feeling frustration grow, and decided to search the entire house despite having gone through it meticulously before. An hour later, I accepted defeat when my search turned up nothing.
"Let's go home," Simon said softly, brushing his hand against my cheek. I pressed my lips together to try and stop them from trembling. "You're going to make yourself sick with worry. We're in Connecticut until Sunday. We can always come back. But you look like you're about to collapse right now."
I let Simon lead me outside, making sure to lock the door behind us, since I had left the window unlocked. The drive back to Simon's house was quiet, both of us lost in our thoughts.
Chapter Twenty-Four
"Simon, I can't stay in here!" We were back at his parents' house and I was aghast when Simon led me to his room, and I saw my suitcase sitting next to his bed. I had assumed that I would be sleeping in a guest room.