I Heart Hawaii: Escape with the funniest and most fabulous romcom of summer 2019 (I Heart Series, Book 8)

by Lindsey Kelk

  ‘Is Cici wearing Givenchy?’ Jenny asked, handing Erin her phone and cutting in on our hushed conversation. ‘She is. She’s wearing ten thousand dollars’ worth of Givenchy to a house party for a non-major birthday.’

  We turned to see my boss glide into the room.

  ‘Jenny, you’re wearing Valentino, what’s the problem?’ I reminded her, wondering how much she knew about Erin’s situation and, more importantly, why she hadn’t told me. It wasn’t like Jenny was known for being the soul of discretion.

  ‘Correction,’ she whispered. ‘I’m wearing borrowed Valentino. That dress is couture, it must have been made for her. I have never been so jealous in all my life.’

  Regardless of what the dress had cost, it was breathtaking, even by Cici’s standards. At first glance, it was a simple black dress with white panels, long sleeves and a high neck, beautifully cut, but nothing to get too excited about. Until she came closer and I realized the nude patterned panels were actually cut-outs. The glowing white fabric was actually her skin and there was an awful lot of it on display. With her pale cornsilk hair piled up on top of her head, Cici shone in the spotlight, ensuring all eyes were on her.

  ‘I know she’s literally the worst but is it me or do you kind of want to do her too?’ Jenny asked. ‘Not that I want to jump on the sexual fluidity bandwagon but she could definitely get it.’

  ‘Mason would be delighted,’ I replied. There was no version of reality that would ever see me having lustful feelings for Cici Spencer.

  ‘Mason would be,’ she whispered back. ‘And so would Alex or any other red-blooded living man. Christ, is that chick wearing Givenchy too?’

  I followed her gaze over to another blonde making her way across the roof terrace.

  ‘That’s Paige,’ I said, raising a hand to wave her over. ‘My new boss.’ Oh yes, in fact Cici was now my boss’s boss. Without lifting a finger I had managed to slide two notches down the pecking order from my old job.

  ‘I already hate her,’ Jenny said through a forced smile as Paige bounded over on what looked like a tiny pair of silver stilts. ‘Oh my god, I love your dress.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Paige swished her hips, the sharp pleats of the material shimmering under the spotlight like an iridescent oil spill come to life. A thick metallic belt that matched her shoes made the most of her tiny waist and a strategically placed cut-out gave the tiniest suggestion of under-boob, before the dress flowed over her shoulders and fluttered down her back like a pair of butterfly wings. ‘I was a bit worried I might have overdone it but I see I’m in very good company. Is that Valentino?’

  Without even realizing, Paige had won Jenny’s loyalty forever. My best friend reached out a hand and grabbed Paige’s arm.

  ‘What are you doing on Thursday?’ she asked.

  Paige pursed her lips, thinking. ‘Um …’

  ‘Cancel it,’ Jenny ordered. ‘You’re coming to Hawaii with me and Angela.’

  ‘I’m not going,’ I reminded her. ‘And Paige can’t go either, she’s starting a new job, she’s got to find somewhere to live—’

  ‘Perfect! The people who are subletting our old place are moving out of my old apartment two weeks from today,’ Jenny said, snapping her fingers, the deal as good as done.

  Paige looked at Jenny with an expression on her face I remembered from the first time I met my very own fairy godmother. She had a knack for appearing in people’s lives right when they needed her, and new-to-New-York Paige definitely needed her. I made myself smile so they could all see how delighted I was about the idea of my new boss, the younger, cooler, taller me, moving into my first apartment and going on a once-in-a-lifetime dream holiday with my best friend.

  ‘If it’s in my budget, I’d love to look at it,’ she said. ‘And, well, Hawaii sounds lovely but I just moved and hopefully I’m about to get a new apartment so I should save my money—’

  ‘It’s free!’ Jenny exclaimed, her enthusiasm level stuck on ‘slightly overexcited’. ‘Hawaii, not the apartment, that is. It’s a press trip so it won’t cost you a penny and you will lit-er-all-y never get a chance to experience anything like this ever again, as long as you live. You get the last seat.’

  It was so unlike her to underplay things so much. Wait, did she say last seat?

  ‘Last seat? Who else is going?’

  ‘Eva confirmed this morning, thanks for the intro,’ she replied while Paige continued to stare at her in polite alarm. ‘And I was gonna save it as a surprise but, since you keep insisting you don’t want to come, I might as well spill the news. James is coming.’

  ‘James Jacobs?’ I asked.

  ‘James Jacobs?’ Paige echoed, only louder and at a higher pitch. ‘The actor? Oh, I love him!’

  ‘Dollface, he will love you too,’ Jenny insisted. ‘Before Angela turned into my mom, the three of us got into some serious situations, right, Angie? Remember that night in Vegas? Paige, I can already tell you and I are gonna get along great.’

  ‘But why is James going on a press trip to promote mascara?’ I shouted over all the squealing as two women who had just met joined hands and bounced up and down on the spot. ‘It doesn’t make any sense!’

  Jenny threw one arm around Paige and the other up into the air. ‘It doesn’t have to make sense, he’s A-list, baby. But if you think those lashes of his are one hundred percent untouched, you’re living in a dream world. It’s perfect, boys in beauty are so hot right now.’

  ‘So hot right now,’ Paige confirmed. ‘Jenny, I don’t want to overstate anything but I think you might be my favourite person I’ve ever met.’

  I frowned and took another sip of my champagne.

  ‘Paige, I know we just met,’ Jenny took a deep breath and composed herself, which only served to escalate Paige’s giddiness. ‘But I am offering you a trip to paradise. Only an idiot would turn it down.’

  It was all too much. First my bag breaks, then I find out Thomas is cheating on Erin and now the younger, hotter, cooler version of me sweeps in and takes my old apartment, my new job, my friends and my dream holiday? No. Bloody. Way.

  In the little black leather clutch bag I had tucked under my arm, I could feel my mobile vibrating. Pulling out, I answered it right away, not recognizing the number and immediately assuming it was the babysitter, telling me she’d burned the house down.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Angela, Perry Dickson.’

  The sneaky mare, calling from a different number to make sure I picked up.

  ‘Checking in on you and Alex,’ she said. ‘Did you get my last message?’

  ‘I did.’ I did a 360-turn to make sure she wasn’t about to jump out of the crowd and surprise me. ‘Sorry, I’ve been so busy, I haven’t had time to call you back.’

  ‘Not at all, not at all,’ she said with a forced laugh. ‘How is Alex?’

  ‘In agony,’ I lied as he and Mason made their way back over from the bar.

  ‘Oh, that won’t do at all,’ Perry gasped. ‘You must go and see Dr Pentland. Louise is an orthopaedic surgeon and one of our founder members and I’m sure she’d be able to help.’

  ‘Uh-huh,’ I replied as Jenny introduced Paige to the boys. Slowly, still listening, I made my way over towards them.

  ‘I thought perhaps you’d be at the Spencer girls’ birthday party this evening?’

  I glanced around the party, looking for her spies. They had eyes everywhere in this city, what choice did I have?

  ‘Just a quiet night in on the couch,’ I said with a grimace as someone turned the music up a notch. ‘Watching a very loud film.’

  ‘If Alex is well enough to be left alone, perhaps we could get together this week to discuss the next steps in your joining us here at The M.O.B.?’ she said, seemingly buying my nonsense. ‘Would Thursday morning work for you again?’

  ‘This Thursday?’ I repeated. ‘I would love to but I can’t.’ I could feel myself starting to panic. This woman was tracking me all the way around NYC.

/>   ‘You can’t?’ she asked, doubtful.

  ‘No,’ I told her, waving a hand to get Jenny’s attention. ‘I’m – er – I’m, I’m going to Hawaii on Thursday.’

  ‘You are?’ Jenny asked, full of glee.

  ‘You are?’ Alex asked, full of something else entirely.

  I considered my options. Stay home, meet with Perry Dickson, go to work, try not to murder Erin’s husband then spend a sweaty weekend touring New York’s most humid tourist traps with Louisa?

  Or …

  ‘Yes,’ I said to all of them. ‘I’m going to Hawaii.’

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘I can’t believe we’re going to Hawaii!’

  Louisa squeezed her hands into little fists, leaping around as though she was auditioning for the Flashdance reboot I hoped they never considered making. I’d been waiting for her jetlag to kick in since she arrived but she’d seemingly been saving every ounce of energy from the last seven years for this exact moment. It was exhausting.

  ‘Neither can we,’ Alex replied coolly, bouncing Alice in his arms as we all crowded in the hallway, waiting for our taxi to the airport on Thursday morning. He had dressed her in my favourite outfit, a little green floral dress from Ralph Lauren that had an adorable Peter Pan collar and matching bloomers. I’d looked high and low for a matching dress for myself, but no, Ralph did not understand mothers at all.

  ‘I’ll be back on Tuesday,’ I told him, clutching at Alice’s warm little foot and pushing away the unpleasant feeling that had been growing ever since I’d agreed to this stupid trip. ‘And you can call any time if you need me. I mean, call me anyway. And text, no matter the time. Anything at all, I want to know about it.’

  ‘Angela, it’s fine,’ he said, leaning on his crutch and staring past me out the open door. ‘We’ll get by. I did tell you to go, didn’t I?’

  I looked up at him as I kissed her hands, nibbling on her fat little fingers. Even though he was saying the right things, Alex didn’t look terribly happy. But it was a once-in-a-lifetime trip! And all my friends were going! And he had said I should go. Even if that was before he hurt his ankle and needed to use a crutch. With a baby.

  ‘Technically, it’s work, not a holiday.’

  Cici had given the trip the all-clear provided I was ready for the launch of my site in a week’s time and, since I was already well ahead of schedule and desperate to be convinced I’d made the right decision, I’d let Jenny convince me I’d be able to do all manner of work-related activities once we were on the island. Interviews, travel articles, product reviews … and if the work bits didn’t work out and I ended up spending the entire trip sat on the beach getting mildly to moderately intoxicated with my friends, that could work too.

  I slid my hands around Al’s waist and gently prised her out of Alex’s arms. She smelled like baby powder and her blankets and – very, very slightly – like the packet of salt and vinegar Hula Hoops I’d eaten over her head while Alex was in the shower. She smelled like heaven. My precious little girl. My tiny, perfect love. My angel, who I had never left for longer than a working day before, and was it just me or was she totally giving me side eye right now? My heart squeezed itself until I was almost certain I was having a heart attack.

  ‘This is a terrible idea,’ I said, breathing hard. ‘I’m not going.’

  ‘The car is here,’ Louisa said, panic in her voice, hula in her hips.

  ‘I don’t think I can leave her,’ I shook my head as Al babbled nonsense at her aunt. ‘It’s too soon.’ She reached out an arm to stroke my cheek and I felt a single fat tear roll down my cheek. ‘See? She doesn’t want me to – ow! Alex!’

  ‘I think she’s OK with it,’ he said, carefully unclamping her hand from around the hair that was left in my temple and taking the world’s tiniest sociopath back into his arms. ‘I think she wants some alone time with Daddy whose hair she never pulls.’

  Somehow, my heart sank and sped up at the same time. The car was outside, our flight left in two hours and then it was five whole days away. I hadn’t been further than the island of Manhattan on my own since Alice was born and now I was going to disappear all the way to Hawaii because of FOMO? Just what exactly was wrong with me?

  ‘Angela, our car is waiting,’ Louisa said, rolling her giant suitcase back and forth on the creaky wooden floor and pulling the door open wider. Now there was a woman who had no such qualms but Gracie was six going on whatever age kids decided they were going to be YouTube superstars.

  ‘False alarm, not our car,’ she corrected. I peered out.

  A slim, black-haired woman was climbing out of a black town car, dragging an enormous overnight bag with her.

  ‘Alex?’

  ‘Mom!’

  Passing Alice to me, he abandoned his crutch and jogged down the steps to help her with her bag.

  ‘She called last night to say she’d try to stop by today,’ he called over his shoulder.

  ‘With a packed bag?’ I replied, squeezing Alice more and more tightly until she squeaked in protest. ‘At the exact same time our car is due to leave for the airport?’

  ‘There’s my little girl,’ Mrs Reid dropped her bag at her son’s feet and ran up the steps to snatch Alice from my arms. Her name was Janet but we were still very much on a ‘Mrs Reid’ basis. It was fun, kept me on my toes.

  ‘Wow, that’s a big bag for a spur-of-the-moment visit,’ I said.

  ‘I figured you’d have left already,’ Mrs Reid said, still addressing Alice instead of me.

  ‘Ange, that one is definitely our car,’ Louisa gave me a pleading look as she pulled the strap of her document pouch over her head, keeping her passport, photocopy of her passport and her exceptionally safe pre-paid travellers’ credit cards close to her chest. ‘We don’t want to be late for the flight.’ She lowered her voice. ‘You can tell me how awful she is on the way to the airport.’

  ‘Can you tell your mommy how excited you are to see your grandma?’ Janet said, talking about me but not to me. She blew happy raspberries against Alice’s cheek as she squeaked with delight, not even attempting to pull a single hair out of her head. The traitor. Mrs Reid pulled something out of her pocket. A bow? She was putting a bow on my child?

  ‘She doesn’t like things on her head,’ I said, attempting to swipe it away but Janet was too quick.

  ‘I think it gives her some panache,’ she replied, spinning out of my reach. ‘And how else will people know she’s a little girl?’

  ‘I’m going to take my suitcase out to the car,’ Louisa said, giving Janet a sharp smile. ‘We don’t want to be late to the airport.’

  ‘No,’ Janet agreed readily before wandering off into the living room and making herself at home with my pride and joy. ‘You don’t want to be late to the airport.’

  ‘Mom’s going to stay the whole weekend,’ Alex announced, holding the door open for Louisa to squeeze out with her giant case. ‘How great is that? I told her about you leaving and my accident and she offered. I couldn’t say no.’

  He should have asked, I thought. I could have helped him.

  Our driver honked his horn.

  ‘We gotta go, lady!’ he called through the car window. ‘Let’s move it!’

  ‘OK, OK, I’m coming,’ I said, heaving my suitcase down the steps and into the boot of the car.

  ‘Have a great time,’ Alex said, sticking his hands in his jeans pockets at the top of the stairs, not even offering to help. His mum stood in the front window, pulling a theatrically sad face and making Alice wave goodbye.

  ‘There’s tons of milk in the freezer and you shouldn’t need any nappies or anything but if we do run out, get the Huggies, not the Pampers. They don’t stay up when she starts crawling,’ I called before hopping in the back seat of the car beside Louisa. Perfect, it smelled like stale coffee and cigarettes, the official perfume of the New York City Taxi and Limousine Commission. ‘I love you!’

  But Alex had already closed the door.

  ‘
Ready to go?’ Louisa asked, clutching her passport holder in her sweaty hands.

  ‘Ready as I’ll ever be,’ I said, taking one last look at my husband, his mother and my daughter playing happily in the front room without me as we pulled away. ‘Let’s go.’

  And off we went.

  I rested against the edge of the terrace and gazed out at the ocean. A cool breeze was blowing across my face but doing nothing to help convince me I wasn’t dreaming. Hala Lanai was set on a hill, a little way above the beach below, giving me the perfect view of the cove. The shoreline curved round in a gentle swoop, creating a private bay with soft white-crested waves that lapped at the white sand. The water shimmered, shifting from bright, light turquoise all the way into deep, dark indigo as the waves swept away from the shore. Way off in the distance, the ocean blended with the sky at the edge of the world.

  ‘Ange, I just saw a dolphin.’ Louisa threw her arm out, jabbing at the air in excitement. ‘An actual bloody dolphin just jumped out of the sea, I swear.’

  We were so far from Skegness, it was scary.

  ‘I feel like I’m losing it,’ I replied, rubbing my eyes as a dolphin and his friends leapt out of the water right in front of us and then disappeared under the waves.

  Tearing herself away from the terrace, Lou backed into the villa. With a happy sigh, I grinned as she hurled herself across the enormous bed in the middle of the room. Just like Jenny had promised.

  ‘The room’s not too shoddy,’ she said, face down in the mound of pillows. ‘It’ll do for me.’

  ‘I’ve stayed in worse,’ I agreed, eyeing the thick, white sheets and eight different pillows.

  ‘You mean that time we went to Ibiza after our A levels?’

  The mere mention of that trip and I could taste the cinnamon Aftershock, dodgy kebabs and the tongue of that awful boy with the tribal tattoos who thought the Harry Potter books were based on a true story.

  ‘My mum put all my clothes on a boil-wash the second I walked through the door,’ I said with a near nostalgic smile.