by Chris Bunch
Sten, the comparatively hairless pot washer, began spreading the marinade over the chicken. Actually, he didn't really mind. It smelled wonderful. His mouth watered imagining what it was all going to taste like when Marr and Senn tonged the chicken off the barbecue.
In the corner, he could hear Marr and Senn arguing over the relative merits of pine nuts in Lebanese pilaf. All about him were the warm smells of a dozen dishes bubbling and simmering. He felt relaxed ... clear-minded.
On the whole, he thought, he'd much rather be a pot washer than a Hero of the Revolution.
Marr and Senn observed Sten's beaming face as he slathered marinade over chicken.
"Do you think he's ready?” Marr whispered.
"Absolutely,” Senn said. “I don't like to pat myself on the back, but I think this is one of the best jobs we've ever done."
"Beings don't realize,” Marr said, “that the first—and only—real secret of a dinner party is getting the host prepared first."
"A little kitchen magic,” Senn said. “It works every time."
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Alex Kilgour's Beef Jerky
The strips of beef were drained and laid on the counter. Over them Alex sprinkled salt—at least a pinch per slice. After that, chopped parsley. Then very generous pinches of a potpourri of the spices he'd bought. Thyme. More savory. Sweet basil. Pepper. Garlic pepper. Herb pepper. Marjoram. Some cumin, just for the hell of it. He pressed the spices into the meat with the flat of his knife, then flipped the slices over and repeated the seasoning.
The meat went into the tenement's dilapidated oven, set at its absolute lowest, and with a cork holding the oven door open a centimeter or two.
He took a long nap, storing energy for the future. When he awoke, just before dusk, the slices of beef were dry, twisted, black, thoroughly nasty, and no more than a kilo in total weight.
He admired his jerky. “Ah'm noo th’ cook th’ Emp, Marr, Senn, or e'en m’ wee Sten is. But this'll chew easy, I’ th’ woods, I’ th’ rain."
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THE END
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