by Adair Rymer
“Here you go, baby. Happy birthday.” Dad thumbed out a couple hundred dollars from his wallet and gave it to her along with a kiss on her forehead. “Get yourself somethin' nice, huh?”
“Thanks, Dad.” Even Anna couldn't hide her unease at the display. Not that he noticed. He was too busy being father of the year.
The fun didn't end there. Dad started butchering the happy birthday song and forced everyone else in the room to join in uncomfortably. Anna was on the verge of tears at the embarrassment in front of all her remaining friends.
I was just angry. It was one thing to forget or ignore an important date for one of your kids but to come in and shit all over it like that... Bravo. Fucking monster.
“Maya,” The word both pierced and shattered against me like a falling icicle. I hated him so much but what could I do that wouldn't make things worse for Anna? I lowered my eyes, my throat turned to jagged glass.
The man wasn't large or muscular but, encircled by his goons, he was bolstered with a sense of inviolable authority. It was terrifying. He'd spent so long dispensing life and death and ruling with “brotherly love” that he'd forgotten what paternal love was. He viewed Anna as young patch member as opposed to a daughter and me, after everything that happened with Anna...
I was a traitor.
Slick broke his gaze and, with the cock of his head, led his boys into the pool room.
“Yer honor,” spat a biker as he pushed past me, clipping my shoulder.
After Mom's disappearance and after what happened to me, I started studying law. It's what I went to college to study. It was only within the last few years that any firm in the area would even look at me, given my family business. I'd have had better luck if I moved away, but as much as I wanted to, I just couldn't leave Anna alone with them. I was all she had.
One of the other Angels sniffed my hair as they walked by. They skeeved me out so badly that if I could've taken my skin off, it would have stood rigidly all by itself. Any time they could, the Angels loved reminding me just how unwelcome I was here.
“You ok, Anna?” I swallowed it all, pushed it away. A skill with which I had far too much practice. I refused to let them get to me. At least in front of her. Everyone else had slunk out when the coast was clear. It was just the two of us. If not for Anna being here, I would have slunk out too.
“Yeah, of course.” She strained through a practiced smile and a timid laugh that made my heart break. “You know Dad...”
Yeah, I know him all right. I decided better about answering that. Anna didn't need my anger, my doubt or my weakness. I couldn't burden her with that. I would be strong for her. “You wanna come over for a few hours? Netflix just put up the latest season of the Vampire Diaries.”
“That sounds great. Dinner's on me, I guess.” Anna held up the dirty money. Her face screwed into a sad, half smile. Her eyes watered as she turned away. She opened them as wide as possible to trap the tears, trying to prevent them from rolling down her cheek. She was such a strong girl.
“And rob yourself of Mom's chicken pot pies? I found the recipe, you wanna help me screw it up?”
“Yeah, I'd love that.” Anna sniffled, chuckling, catching the cascading tears on the cuff of her sweater. The she looked up at me and smiled, a beautiful genuine smile before turning away again. “I'll go grab my coat.”
I took in a heavy breath and exhaled, trying not to cry myself. I will get you out of this Anna, I promise!
My solemn pledge was interrupted by the rhythmic tapping of heavy ringed hands against a marble topped bar in the other room. And by the raucous laughter that followed. The entertainment room was straight down the hall. I tried not to look at them but the house had a very open floor plan and I could feel their eyes on me.
If I left the room now, it would be obvious that it was because of the bikers and I didn't want to give Dad that satisfaction. I would endure their invasive glares until we were ready to leave. I hated feeling pushed out of my childhood home.
I tried to recall a time when I saw him as a father and not just some thug in a leather vest. It pained me, but nothing came to mind that Mom didn't at least have a hand in our childhood. Birthdays and other milestones in my life growing up were all because of her, only very occasionally could she actually get Dad to make an appearance.
The club always came first for him. Everything else... this family... it was all just decoration. Old Christmas lights on a long dead pine tree.
Mom was the soul of our family.
She could warm the house with just a wink and a smile. The aromas of her steaming chicken pot pies and her famous kitchen sink stew hung joyously and somehow made the air sing for days. Minty cardamom, ginger, and cinnamon were her favorite scents and they greeted us like a loving pet each day when we came home from school.
It smelled like home.
Despite the supermarket cake and other baked goods brought in for Anna's party, the air now was stale, and settled thickly with smoky ghosts and rancid memories.
This wasn't home any longer.
I didn't know what this place was anymore. Everything, although familiar in layout, seemed so out of place. It felt like someone hung all our family pictures up at the neighbor's house. Like every private, cherished moment was on display in a forgotten family museum.
“Hey! I almost forgot, something came in for Mom but I figured I should give it to you. Looks like a bill or something.” Anna rounded the corner, letter in hand.
A bill? A decade after her disappearance? I tore open the envelope, it wasn't a bill. It was for a safe deposit box out in San Francisco. What the hell was this?
“Due to the lack of response from both Amanda Merritt of 1232 Waller Road St. Louis, MO and Robert Merritt of 567—” Robert Merritt?
“Isn't that Dad's brother?” Anna asked.
“I think so... but why would he share a safe with Mom?” I vaguely remembered a big argument about him a long time ago but couldn't remember what it was about. I only met him once. I scanned the rest of the document. “...SeaCoast Bank will be closing. Your safe deposit box can no longer be held for you. The Treasurer has declined to receive the property as abandoned. Please pick up the claim your box prior to the date posted or your box's contents will be destroyed. Please appear in person with your box and pin number.”
“Pin number? Do you know what this is?” Anna asked.
“No idea. I'm sure as hell going to find out though.” I looked over at Dad. He stood there, throwing darts, laughing and joking, not a care in the world. “Looks like I'll be tracking down our dear old Uncle Robert. Are you ready to go?”
“Let's do it.” She grabbed my hand, breaking my stare at the club and dragged me to the door.
Tomorrow I'd start looking. A family reunion was long overdue.
* * * * *
“Yeah?” a gruff voice picked up.
“Hi, I'm looking for Robert,” I said cautiously into my cell phone.
“Who's this?”
“My name's Maya. Is this Robert Merritt?”
There was a long pause.
“No. You got the wrong number—”
“Don't hang up!” I blurted out hoping to stop him before he killed the call. “Please. I think I’m your niece!”
Another pause but the line was still open so I continued filling the silence.
“My name is Maya Merritt. I think you knew my mother, Amanda. Am I talking to the right person?”
Another pause. I'd said what I needed to. This time it was his turn to reply if he was going to at all. It had taken months to track this number down. I had nothing else on this man. No address, place of employment, medical history, anything. “Robert Merritt” was a ghost, but this man, whoever he was, was very much alive. If he hung up now, I knew I'd never get this chance again.
“Little Mai Tai?” The gruff voice on the other line asked in more of a fatherly tone than I'd heard in years. I felt a tinge of sadness.
Mai Tai, that nickname. I was struc
k by one of those blurry memories that orbited the periphery of my mind since I was a little girl. A remembrance that, for years, was completely gone until it suddenly, pressingly wasn't. It languished on the tip of my brain for days at a time then silently floated away, like driftwood atop a dark bay in twilight.
For some reason I'd convinced myself over the years that it was a classmate in elementary school that gave it to me. It always bothered me that it never made sense. How would nine year-olds know about Chinese restaurant mix drinks? I had reached the right man. My Uncle Robbie.
“Y-yeah. That's me,” I stammered. “I need help, Uncle Robbie.”
There was a heavy sigh. I could only imagine what was running through his head. He had no reason to trust me or believe me. “I'm sorry, Maya. I can't help you. Don't tell anyone you contacted me. It's for your own good, I promise you. Take care, angel.”
“No, wait, please! I wouldn't have called you for my sake or even for mom's. It's for my little sister.”
“Anna...” His voice a whisper. Maybe I was speaking with a ghost after all. “Is she ok?”
“Yes. Sort of. I mean...” I was getting all jumbled up. I stopped, took a breath and continued.“Anna lives with her father, your brother, and things are getting bad. I don't think she's safe there anymore.”
“Angel, I can't help her. If I come back there everything will get worse for her. You gotta find another way. I'm sorry.”
“There is no other way! Bruce has all the cops there in his pocket! She's just a girl and she needs help!” I couldn't control myself. This conversation was slipping away from me and with it went the last hope I had to save my sister. I couldn't let that happen. “I need you to give a shit, damnit!”
“I disappeared because it was the only way I could help her!” His distant sad voice burned, I had hit a nerve. He paused to calm himself. “I want to help... more than anything, but what can I do? If I go back there, Anna dies. I can't let that happen.”
Woah! His words staggered me. What did he mean? That wasn't a threat; it was a resignation. An understanding and a defeat. It struck at just how little I knew about my mom, my uncle and what happened to them. I was so busy trying to stay out of sight that I never saw what was probably right in front of me. I hated that I was such a stupid, selfish, scared little girl back then.
Robbie was a heartbeat away from hanging up the phone and as much I needed to know everything about everything it was obvious that that would come in time if I was able to get close to him. I had to choose my next words very carefully.
“I don't want you to come here. I need to know about the safe deposit box and then I’ll let you disappear again.”
“Heh, that damn box. Y'know I forgot all about that thing. I'll tell you right now, I have no idea what she put in there. I can't even remember where the damn thing is.”
“It's in San Francisco.”
“That's right! Near her sister's place, right? Call Gina, I'm sure she can help you out.”
“I have and she will but...” I sighed nervously. And here was the fun part. “She registered it in your name too and being that I can't prove you're dead, it won't pass to next of kin. You need to come with me. I can't pick it up without you.”
“Naaw... shit.”
“I'm sorry.” I dropped onto my small couch and let my head fall back onto the pillow. I was sorry. I was asking him to do a lot for, basically, a stranger.
“Yeah. It'll have to wait a few weeks. Something big came up with the C.E. that I have to take care of first.”
C.E.? That must be the name of his club. I had my laptop out so I searched around. That acronym plus his area code and them being an MC yielded only one result. The Coffin Eaters out of Topeka, Kansas. Within seconds I found their address.
“That's the other thing...The bank is closing in one week. If we're not there by then, whatever is in that box gets destroyed.” There was a long pause, I hoped he hadn't hung up. “Are you still there? Robbie?”
“Alright, alright. I'm here. Fly out to your Aunt Gina's place and wait for me. I'm leaving in two days so I should be in Cali by...” I heard him mumbling to himself. “By the end of the week. So five, six days latest. Cutting it close but, I promise we'll get it done.”
I wanted to believe Robbie. I really did. I remember really liking him the one time I'd met him, and mom always talked about him fondly when Bruce wasn't around. Unfortunately, the cold truth of it was that I didn't know him. He seemed honest and sincere but I couldn't put all my faith on that alone. If it was just for me, then maybe, but this was for Anna. I had to do a little more digging.
“Did my mom give you a pass code or a key for her safety deposit box? Anything you could either tell me or overnight to me, maybe?”
Robbie though for a moment.
I'd spent my whole life on the periphery of the Blue Angels, then later trained to become a lawyer with eyes set on the DA's office. Needless to say, I had picked up a lot of useful skills when dealing with outlaws.
I browsed through town documents and police records. I couldn't find anything on Robbie. He was fairly careful but the club as a whole...
The Coffin Eaters had suffered multiple attacks from rival gangs in the last few years. Several members had disappeared under mysterious circumstances and the town itself had filed a lawsuit against the club for public endangerment. With all that trouble surrounding them, their club threatening to collapse and they're just going to go all the way up to California for side work? Now? It had to be a big job which meant that it was extremely dangerous.
“No, I don't think so...” I should've known it wouldn't be that easy. Life had a way of over complicating things. “No, I'm sorry. Nothing I can remember. Mandy... your mom...she was a lifetime ago.” He corrected himself. There were subtle hints of mourning in his voice. How much did he know about Mom's disappearance?
“I'll need to come with you on the ride.”
“Abso-fucking-lutely not!” Robbie was so taken by surprise at the request that he nearly yelled out the reply. “No. That's not possible. The club would never allow it and it's far too dangerous.”
“Robbie, if something happens to you on that ride I would never get that box. It could be nothing but if there's even a chance that something in there helps me get my sister away from the Blue Angels, I have to try.”
If I spent enough time with him maybe I could help jog his memory for that pin number or help him somehow. I was always good at problem solving and quick thinking. Maybe it might help keep him alive. It sounded ridiculous and maybe it was just me grasping at straws.
“Maya. Listen to me. You can't come with me,” he said with finality. “Something goes bad on the road... I can't protect you! I promised your mom that I'd do whatever I could to keep you safe. For the longest time that meant staying away from you and Anna. Now it means stopping you from riding with us. Take the plane and I'll be there soon. I promise.”
“OK,” I said. I hated the idea of taking the word of a long lost relative on something as important as this, but what else could I do? He was right. It was too dangerous. I had grown up around the lifestyle, not in it. There was a huge difference. I've never been shot at or arrested. What was I thinking?
“Mai Tai?” He asked with unexpected tenderness.
“Yeah?” I felt like garbage.
“It was real good to hear your voice, Angel. Don't worry, I'll see you soon.” He hung up.
I dropped the phone on the couch and sat there just thinking, staring at the blinking cursor in the navigation bar. It mocked me with its impatience. My laptop was very softly humming on my thighs, awaiting commands.
Online, I was a digital lioness. I could find and tear through countless research and back logs with ease. Though outside, in the real world, what was I?
I'd done my best to pull Anna away from our father once and failed miserably. The realization that I just wasn't strong enough or smart enough made my hands slightly tremble. I was just another scared girl caught
in the silky MC web, like a fly waiting to be devoured.
Now my sister's only salvation was completely out of my hands. It hinged on a man that probably never even met her in person. Never saw the naive hope that twinkled in Anna's beautifully innocent, cobalt blue eyes.
I covered my eyes to hide myself from the shame of not being able to help her more. I could no longer see the glowing laptop screen, the portal that held boundless possibilities, but I could still feel the crushing weight of that shame all the same. Twisting me from the inside out. At any moment I would snap and burn away like kindling for a fire.
My phone lit up and vibrated with a text message. I heard it but I was too lost to move. Then it vibrated and lit up again. Then again. Then it rang. It was Anna.
“Hello? Anna?”
“Hi. Can I come over?” She asked.
I could immediately tell that she'd been crying. That kindling inside began to catch but it was anger, not shame, that was the flame.
“Yeah, of course.”
“Can you pick me up now?” Her urgency stoked that budding flame within me. I could only imagine what had happened to her now.
“I'm on my way.” I sprang up from my stupor and grabbed my wallet and keys. “Is everything OK? What's going on?”
“Dad's really drunk and he...I didn't get out of the way quick enough. It was my fault.”
“Fucking Christ!” The flame became a fire. “Are you alright?”
“I'm OK. It's just a few little cuts from his rings.” Her voice sounded strained. I could hear her biting back more tears. That bastard slapped her! “I'm sorry I know you're probably busy—“
“Anna, I'm there. Give me five minutes. Get your stuff and wait for me outside. This wasn't your fault.”
“Thank you, Maya.”
“Always.” I hung up and raced to my car. I could feel all my self pity melting away. Anger had a way of laying things bare.
She'd be safe tonight, but tomorrow he'd demand that she come back home after school so he could give her an empty apology and probably some money. That's how he operated. He did whatever he wanted to whoever and bought off the repercussions.