Em had made the trip alone with us since Sergei had to accompany their novice and junior teams to Eastern Sectionals in Pennsylvania. I adored both my coaches, but Em and I had an extra-special relationship, so I was glad she was there for the start of this new chapter of my career.
“Time to get ready.” She motioned us toward the corridor to the ice.
I unzipped my Team USA jacket, and when we reached the end of the hallway I gave it to Em. My hands fidgeted with the braids woven into my up-do, then the halter neckline of my rose-colored dress, and then the hem of my short skirt. Josh stepped in front of me, and he gently grasped my shoulders, stilling me. I stared up at him and took in a slow breath.
His long-sleeved, V-neck shirt showed off his lean muscles and matched the color of my dress perfectly. We’d worn our costumes at a dress rehearsal at home, but looking at us together now, standing just a few feet from competition ice, it really hit me.
We are a team. We are truly a TEAM.
The jitters shaking my legs kicked into a higher gear, and if Josh hadn’t been holding onto me, I probably would’ve collapsed into a trembling heap. He rubbed my arms with long, warm strokes, and slowly my butterflies simmered down.
His eyes roamed over me and met mine with a deep gaze. “God, you are so beautiful.”
My butterflies fluttered their wings happily, and I locked Josh in a tight hug. Leave it to him to be practically mute all night and then to say something so sweet.
“I just want you to know…” His soft voice tickled my ear. “Skating here with you tonight is an absolute dream come true for me.”
I pulled back and framed his face with my hands. “I am so happy to be doing this with you.”
He smiled. “Then let’s do it.”
We walked out under the bright lights of the arena and joined in the applause for the Canadian team taking their bows. As soon as they approached the boards, I pulled off my skate guards and hopped onto the ice. While I glided around the rink, loosening my legs, I slowly stretched my arms over my head and out wide. It was a relaxation technique Josh had shared with me.
He skated to my side, and we slowed to a stop in front of Em at the boards. She focused her bright blue eyes on us and patted our hands.
“I know you’ve waited for this a long time, so just enjoy every moment. Feed off the incredible connection you have with each other.”
We nodded and each took a quick sip of water before we turned away from the boards to receive our introduction.
“Our next team represents the United States. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Courtney Carlton and Joshua Tucker.”
My heartbeat thumped in time with the loud applause from the crowd. I looked at Josh, and he gave me a wide smile. I could see the excitement brimming in his eyes. We skated to center ice and spent the next few seconds and a few deep breaths getting into our starting position. My right hand rested on Josh’s chest while his cupped my hip. Our eyes met and didn’t let go.
The romantic piano notes of “Kissing You” began, and we started slowly across the ice, still locked in our gaze. Goosebumps lined my neck and my arms, and I let myself bask in the magic of the moment for just a second. Then I quickly thought about our first element, the explosive triple twist.
Josh took my hand, and we moved side by side, building up speed with only a few strokes. I envisioned my body spinning in the perfect twist right before I stabbed my toe pick into the ice. Josh tossed me up above his head, and I curled into three tight revolutions. When I came down safely in his strong grip, I exhaled and kept my eyes on Josh’s as we flew around the corner of the rink.
The warmth of Josh’s hand left mine as we split apart for our side-by-side triple Salchows. My body tensed with anxiety, and I repeated over and over to myself, Free and easy. Free and easy.
I pushed off with my back inside edge and spun three times in the air. My right blade landed on the ice with a scratchy thud, but I held firm for a clean exit. I couldn’t see if Josh had completed three rotations, too, but he smiled at me, and I suddenly felt a lot looser. He must have done the jump cleanly, too!
Reining in my excitement, I focused my energy on the next tricky element, the throw triple flip. The music climbed higher, and Josh sprang me into the air right on the crescendo. I spun so fast I almost wasn’t ready for the landing when my blade hit the ice. Once again I kept my leg steady and rode out the deep curve, and I got an even bigger smile from Josh.
We stroked forward and sped into the step sequence, which took us from one end of the rink to the other. Josh and Em had choreographed it together, and every step accented the nuances of the beautiful song. We twizzled in perfect unison to finish the sequence, and Josh took my hand once more to prepare for our overhead lift.
The people in the stands whooshed by me as we powered forward. Josh swung me up above his head with a lasso motion, and he began to rotate, not losing any speed. I started to change positions, but I felt Josh’s feet losing their grip on the ice. Panic seized my chest, and I fumbled to grasp Josh’s shoulder for support.
No, no, no.
Josh reached up and grabbed me as his skates flew out from under him, and we crashed to the ice, my body on top of his. The back of his head slammed onto the hard surface, and I gasped in terror as his eyes shut.
“Josh?” I slid off him, and the cold stung my legs. “Josh!”
I touched his cheek, but he didn’t move.
“Josh!”
I leaned over him, hoping to see his eyes open, flutter, anything. But there was nothing.
Oh my God.
“Help!” I yelled toward the ice door, but the rinkside paramedics were already shuffling over to us.
The music had stopped, and everything was so quiet. One of the medics gently pulled me away from Josh’s lifeless body while the others swarmed around him.
“Are you okay?” She looked me over.
All I could manage was a dazed nod. Josh had cushioned my fall. He’d taken the full brunt of it. And now he wasn’t waking up.
Oh my God, oh my God.
My throat burned with tears, and I covered my mouth with both hands. The medics had Josh surrounded, so I couldn’t see what they were doing to him. The lady holding my shoulders tried to coax me to leave the ice, but I wouldn’t budge.
“I’m not leaving him.” I shook my head violently.
“Court!” Em called from the open ice door.
She looked like she wanted to run out to me, but she couldn’t in her heels. She waved for me to go over to her, and when I refused, she motioned more forcefully. I finally gave in but kept watching the medics as I skated away from them. They had strapped a brace around Josh’s head and were putting him on a stretcher.
Em swept me into her arms the moment I reached her. “You’re okay?”
The fear in her voice made me cry even harder. I nodded and pressed my face to her wool dress.
“He hit his head so hard,” I said between sobs.
She hugged me tighter. “He’s going to be okay.”
I wanted to believe that, but I couldn’t shake the image of Josh falling unconscious right before me. Watching his beautiful blue eyes go dark to the world.
The medics were carefully taking Josh off the ice, and I started to rush forward to meet them. Em held me back and said, “I’ll ride with him to the hospital. You get changed, and we’ll get you there as soon as possible.”
“I have to go with him!” I cried.
Our federation team leader Marni took charge of ushering me backstage. “One of the volunteers will drive us. We’ll only be a few minutes behind the ambulance.”
“I’ll call Josh’s mom to let her know where we’re headed,” Em said.
She gave me one last intense hug before hurrying after the paramedics. I raced to the locker room and did the quickest change of my life. Normally I took meticulous care of my skates, but I just threw them in my bag. When I came out to meet Marni, my parents and Mrs. Cassar were standing with
her.
Mom embraced me first and Dad followed. I soaked in all the comfort from them I could, but nothing could ease the fear in my heart.
Mrs. Cassar grasped my arms firmly. “Joshua is a strong young man. You remember that.”
The way she called Josh by his full name always made me smile, but hearing it then only made me tearier. As we all hurried outside, Mom and Dad gave me more assurances and I just kept nodding. They had to be right. Josh had to be okay.
Thankfully, the ride to the hospital wasn’t long because my nerves couldn’t handle another second in the car, not knowing what was happening. We found the emergency room, and Josh’s family was already there with Em. Stephanie spotted me, and her puffy, red eyes narrowed. She stalked toward me and stopped inches from my face.
“This is your fault!”
Chapter Three
The anguish pressing on my chest made taking a breath difficult. But I forced a deep one and leveled my eyes with Stephanie’s.
“Get out of my face.”
She didn’t listen and instead stepped closer. “Josh and I were partners for ten years, and he was never hurt like this. You’ve been his partner for ten minutes, and he ends up in the hospital!”
“Stop.” Em took Stephanie’s elbow. “It was an accident.”
Stephanie shook her off. “They shouldn’t be skating together. I said all along it was a horrible idea. And now Josh is lying in there…”
Her voice caught, and she pivoted and stalked over to her mother. Mrs. Tucker looked up from the paperwork she was completing as Stephanie sniffled loudly. My dad slipped his arm around me, but I stood tall because Mrs. Tucker was headed toward me. Unlike Stephanie, she showed no sign of tears. Only the same icy demeanor she always had.
“If you hadn’t caused Josh to change all his plans, we wouldn’t be here right now,” she said. “So you are to blame for this.”
Dad stiffened. “Now, listen—”
“So, you’re Joshua’s mother.” Mrs. Cassar came forward, her pointy chin tilted upward. “You’re exactly what I expected.”
Mrs. Tucker folded her arms. “And you must be Mrs. Cassar.”
“Yes, I am. We would’ve met before now if you cared enough about your son to visit him.”
“Excuse me?”
I wiped my watery eyes to see Mrs. Tucker’s indignation clearly. I’d expected Mrs. Cassar to have some words for Josh’s mom upon meeting her, but I had a feeling the stressful situation was going to make those words even harsher.
“Joshua is one of the finest young men I’ve ever known. He would make any mother proud.” Mrs. Cassar’s eyes blazed as bright as her dyed-red hair. “Except his own, apparently.”
“I want what’s best for Josh.”
“What’s best for him is being with this wonderful young lady and skating with her.” Mrs. Cassar gripped my arm. “If you really gave a damn about him, you would see that.”
Mrs. Tucker’s expression darkened further, and Em quickly inserted herself between the two women. “Why don’t we all focus on good thoughts for Josh right now? That’s what’s most important.”
“Yes, it is.” Mrs. Cassar said. “Not blaming innocent people.”
“There is nothing innocent about this girl.” Mrs. Tucker shot me another dirty look.
The tornado of emotion churning inside me could no longer be contained, and my hands flew to my head. “Oh my God! Josh could be seriously hurt, and you’re more worried about insulting me.”
“Because we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you!” Stephanie cried.
“Please keep your voices down,” the nurse behind the desk warned.
I spun and retreated to the opposite side of the waiting area — as far away from Josh’s family as I could get. Em followed me and drew me into her arms. I clung to her petite frame, and she held me quietly until I pulled back to look at her.
“Was there any sign of him waking up in the ambulance?” I asked.
“The medics were around him, so I couldn’t see everything that was happening.”
“What if… what if he doesn’t…”
I tried to swallow the hard lump in my throat, but it strangled me. I couldn’t stop the fresh round of tears from flooding my cheeks.
“He will.” Em said confidently as she clutched my shoulders. “He will.”
We hugged again and sat in the chairs along the wall, holding hands and remaining silent. I was too busy praying, Please, please, please let Josh be okay.
After what felt like hours, a white-haired doctor emerged through the huge double doors, and he huddled momentarily with Mrs. Tucker and Stephanie. They started toward the exam rooms, and I chased after them.
“Is Josh awake? I’m coming with you.”
“You are not family.” Mrs. Tucker held up her hand as a stop sign.
“I’m more his family than you’ve ever been.”
She was about to respond when Em came to my side and pleaded, “Let her go in. Please.”
I didn’t wait for consent. I charged past the Tuckers and walked directly behind the doctor. He led us down a wide hallway and stopped at a room with a half-open door. My heart crashed against my chest in anticipation of what I’d find inside.
I walked into the room and sucked in a breath. Josh was lying on the bed in a hospital gown.
And his eyes were open.
A cry of relief escaped my lips, and I flew to the bed. I was so overcome I couldn’t speak, so I put my hand on Josh’s cheek to let him feel my love for him.
He turned his head slightly and winced, but he quickly covered it with a little smile. “Hey, don’t cry. I’m okay.”
“Okay?” I squeaked. “You were unconscious.”
Behind me I heard the doctor tell Mrs. Tucker that Josh needed a precautionary CT scan to make sure he didn’t have more than a concussion.
“See?” Josh covered my hand with his. “Just a little bump on the head.”
His voice sounded groggy, and his eyes showed pain with every tiny movement he made. He might be trying to downplay his injury, but I’d heard how hard his head had slammed onto the ice. I’d never forget that awful sound.
“Can I see my brother, please?” Stephanie nudged my arm.
I didn’t appreciate her trying to shove me out the way, but I wasn’t going to have an argument with Josh lying there in obvious pain. I started to back away, but Josh held onto me.
“Stay here,” he said.
I smiled and squeezed his fingers. Stephanie scowled, but the lines creasing her forehead showed she was more worried than annoyed.
“Do you know how scary it was watching you fall like that?” she said.
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Josh said.
A nurse came in and took the doctor aside to speak to him, so Mrs. Tucker moved to the foot of the bed. She looked back and forth between Josh and me.
“I hope this will be the end of this ridiculous partnership,” she said.
Josh gave her an unblinking stare. “I’m not quitting.”
“What if you hit your head again? Are you aware of the dangers of multiple concussions? Do you want to ruin your future even more than you already have?”
I gaped at her. Really? This was the conversation she wanted to have five minutes after finding out Josh wasn’t seriously injured? Where was the joy, the thankfulness he was awake and talking to us?
“Your father can speak to the dean at UCLA,” she continued. “I’m sure he can reopen your admission.”
“I said I’m not quitting,” Josh spoke louder and grimaced.
I was about to go off on his mom when an orderly appeared with a wheelchair, and the doctor said it was time for the scan. I bent and placed a gentle kiss on Josh’s lips, and he tugged on my hand again as I tried to leave.
“I’m sorry we didn’t get to finish the program,” he said.
I shook my head. “Don’t even worry about that.”
“It was two of the best minutes of my life.
I can’t wait to do it again.” He glanced around the room. “With a different ending.”
I smiled and gave him another kiss, and he finally let my fingers slip from his. After the orderly wheeled him down the hall, I quickly returned to the waiting area to give everyone the good news. We exchanged hugs all around, and Mrs. Cassar said, “I told you Joshua would be fine. Nothing was going to keep him from you.”
Mrs. Tucker was still giving me the evil eye, so we camped out on the far end of the waiting room until the doctor arrived with the results of the scan. When he said everything looked good, I placed my hand over my heart and sent up a silent prayer of thanks. Josh had to stay overnight, but it was just an extra measure of precaution.
“Do you want to try to see him before we leave?” Em asked me. “It’ll probably be hours before he’s moved to a room.”
“Oh, I’m not leaving.”
“You’ll have to sit in the waiting room all night,” Mom said. “Come back to the hotel and get some rest.”
“I’m staying, too,” Stephanie declared.
I gave her a curious look, and Mrs. Tucker said, “Josh will be sleeping. There’s no need for anyone to stay.”
“There might not be a need, but I want to be here,” I said.
“So do I,” Stephanie said.
Since when did she start copying me — the girl she hates?
Em watched us both warily. “Maybe I should stay, too, then.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “You don’t have to babysit us. We’ll play nice. Won’t we, Stephanie?”
“I’m not here to talk to you. I’m here for Josh.”
I sighed. I preferred to be in peace and not have Stephanie’s bitchy vibes around, but I couldn’t fault her concern for her brother.
Josh’s room was going to be on the sixth floor, so Stephanie and I took the elevator upstairs. Our ride was silent and so was the deserted waiting room. I parked myself in the corner chair where I could stretch out and recline against the wall, while Stephanie took a seat on the other end of the long row of chairs. She removed her leather boots and curled her legs under her, and she tapped her manicured nails on her phone with rapid-fire speed.
Losing the Ice (Ice Series #2) Page 2