Feeling unlucky that you missed out on the Comstock
Lode? You might be luckier than you think. Part IV of the story is on page 446.
Five diseases carried by mosquitoes: Malaria, dengue, yellow fever, encephalitis, and filariasis.
THE WORLD’S LARGEST…
One of the best parts about a road trip: visiting wacky tourist attractions and weird local landmarks. Here are a few towns and cities that have made their mark by having the “world’s largest” something or other.
TERMITE
Location: Providence, Rhode Island
Details: Sitting on the roof of New England Pest Control, on the southbound side of I-95, is this 58-foot-long blue bug. “Nibbles Woodaway” (named in a local radio contest) was built in 1980 at a cost of $30,000. Nibbles is 928 times the size of an actual termite, which makes it clearly visible from I-95. The company dresses it up like a witch on Halloween and a reindeer on Christmas. Bonus fact: Nibbles is hurricane-proof, and it’s made out of fiberglass, so it’s termite-proof.
EGG
Location: Winlock, Washington
Details: A 12-foot-long, 1,200 lb. fiberglass egg sits atop a steel pole right in the center of this small town just south of Seattle. In the early 20th century, Winlock was the second-largest egg producer in the United States, and the town built a giant egg to celebrate its claim to fame. The first egg was built out of canvas in 1923. That egg was replaced with a plastic version in 1944, then with a fiberglass one in the 1960s. The local egg industry clucked its last cluck years ago, but the giant egg remains the centerpiece of Winlock’s annual Egg Day celebration in June. Since 9/11, the egg has been painted like an American flag.
BALL OF STAMPS
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
Details: Outside of Omaha is Boys Town, the 900-acre orphanage immortalized in the 1938 Spencer Tracy movie of the same name. Boys Town has a stamp museum, which is where visitors can find the Ball. It measures only 32" in diameter, but weighs a whopping 600 pounds, and consists of approximately 4.65 million postage stamps. The Boys Town Stamp Collecting Club started the project in 1953 by sticking stamps on a golf ball. Just two years later, the ball reached its current size. Visitors may touch the ball, as long as they don’t remove—or add—any stamps. (No word on why the residents of Boys Town ever started the stamp ball in the first place.)
Finland is rated the cleanest country in the world.
SCHOOLTEACHER
Location: Rugby, North Dakota
Details: Rugby’s town museum, Pioneer Village, has a display showcasing Cliff Thompson, who was 8 feet, 7 inches tall and was born in Rugby (population 2,900) in 1904. Thompson had a teaching degree, but never taught because his height precluded normal work. So he toured the freak-show circuit as “Count Olaf.” The Pioneer Village display includes a lifesize replica of Thompson and an outline of his size-22 foot.
LIGHT BULB
Location: Edison, New Jersey
Details: A 13-foot, eight-ton incandescent light bulb tops the Thomas Edison Memorial Tower and Menlo Park Museum. The giant bulb was installed in 1937, made up of 153 individual pieces of glass, each two inches thick. And it actually still works. The concrete tower (and the big bulb) stand on the exact spot where Edison developed his original (much, much smaller) light bulb in 1879.
ROTATING GLOBE
Location: Yarmouth, Maine
Details: David DeLorme, Chairman and CEO of DeLorme, a mapping-software company, commissioned the globe for his company headquarters in 1996. At 41 feet across and three stories tall, “Eartha” is the largest reproduction of the Earth ever constructed. Visitors to DeLorme can view the globe, called “Eartha,” at three different levels: North Pole, South Pole, and the equator. Eartha actually spins on its axis at a 23.5 degree angle, like the real Earth, and is covered in 792 computer-generated map panels. It makes one complete revolution (equaling a day) in 18 minutes.
Basketball quiz: How far is the free-throw line from the face of the backboard? A: Exactly 15 feet.
NIXONIA
Random trivia about President Richard M. Nixon (1913–94).
• Nixon is the only person in American history to be elected to two terms as vice president and two as president.
• Nixon claimed to have never had a headache.
• At age three, Nixon fell out of a horse-drawn carriage and was run over by a wheel, leaving him with a permanent scar on his forehead.
• During the 1960 U.S. presidential campaign, 43-year-old John F. Kennedy got a lot of attention because he was so young. But Nixon wasn’t much older—he was 47.
• Nixon’s favorite lunch: cottage cheese with ketchup.
• Nixon’s two favorite songs: “Mr. Bojangles” and “The Impossible Dream.”
• At Duke University Law School, Nixon had two nicknames: “Gloomy Gus,” because he was considered a sourpuss, and “Iron Butt,” because he studied so hard.
• His Secret Service code-name: Searchlight.
• Nixon left the Navy and successfully ran for Congress in 1946, won a Senate seat in 1950, and was selected to be Dwight Eisenhower’s running mate in 1952. That means he was elected vice president of the United States just six years after leaving the Navy.
• Nixon’s mother named him after 12th century English king Richard I (the “Lionheart”).
• Most requested document at the National Archives: the 1972 photo of Elvis Presley’s Oval Office visit with Nixon.
• When he went in for his annual presidential physical, Nixon would wear his hospital gown backward, with the opening in front, then walk down the hallway to startle nurses.
• Nixon’s favorite TV show was Gilligan’s Island.
• Two of his accomplishments as president: he abolished the draft and he created the Environmental Protection Agency.
• Nixon appeared on the cover of Time magazine a record 56 times.
American history quiz: Who was Frank Wills? The janitor who discovered the Watergate break-in.
INJURY…MEET INSULT
Sometimes it seems like life can’t get any worse…and then it gets worse.
MULTIPLE CHOICE
Bad: In May 2008, Justin Hill, 42, of Rock Island, Tennessee, was making a left turn into his driveway when a car he hadn’t seen suddenly smashed into his. His wife heard the crash and ran outside.
Worse: She left the kitchen stove on, and the resulting fire burned down their home. To top it off, Hill was treated and released from a local hospital that night…after police gave him a ticket for failing to yield to oncoming traffic.
HIT ME TWO TIMES
Bad: In July 2006, Ryan Van Brunt, 16, was hit by a car near her home in West Orange, New Jersey. She spent the next ten days in a coma.
Worse: After she woke up, her family informed her that she had to go to court…because one of the cops who responded to the accident had given her a ticket for jaywalking. (When she was finally able to go to court—six months later—the prosecutor apologized and the charge was dismissed.)
THE GASS BILL
Bad: Antonio Moreno of Madrid, Spain, got a telephone call at work one day in December 2007. It was his wife. She told him that the gas bill had come in the mail, and it was a big bill—prices had been skyrocketing at the time.
Worse: The bill wasn’t the only problem: It was addressed to “Antonio Gilipollas Caraculo.” Translation: Antonio D***head A**face. When Moreno notified the gas company, a customer service representative apologized and later said it had been a prank by a contractor who would be dealt with. Moreno took the insult in stride, saying the publicity created by the story had at least resulted in old friends he hadn’t heard from in years calling…several times a day…asking to speak to “Mr. A**face.”
The 19th-century seamen’s name for an inflamed pimple or a red nose: grog-blossom.
HOLLYWOOD’S #1 STAR
For some reason, “answering the call of nature” has worked its way into nearly every Tom Hanks movie.
> • The Money Pit (1986): Beleaguered homeowner Walter Fielding (Hanks) notices a cherub statue in his yard is having trouble “peeing.” “Prostate trouble?” he asks. Later, Walter pees on a small tree in his garden and it falls down.
• Joe Versus the Volcano (1990): Joe pees off of the luggage raft.
• A League Of Their Own (1992): Washed-up baseball star Jimmy Dugan pees for nearly a minute in the girls’ locker room. “Boy, that was some good peein’,” comments Mae (Madonna).
• Forrest Gump (1994): When Forrest meets John F. Kennedy, he informs the president, “I gotta pee.”
• Apollo 13 (1995): Astronaut Jim Lovell urinates into a collection tube. “It’s too bad we can’t show this on TV,” he says.
• Saving Private Ryan (1998): Captain John Miller and Sergeant Horvath (Tom Sizemore) talk about an old war buddy named Vecchio, who would “pee a ‘V’ on everyone’s jacket, for Vecchio, for Victory.”
• The Green Mile (1999): Warden Paul Edgecomb suffers from a painful urinary tract infection that has him “pissing razor blades.”
• Cast Away (2000): Marooned Fed-Ex executive Chuck Noland is peeing on the beach at night when he sees the faint light of a passing ship.
• Road to Perdition (2002): Mob hit man Michael Sullivan is asked if coffee makes him sweat. His reply: “It also makes me piss.”
• The Terminal (2004): Stranded immigrant Viktor Navorski must hold his pee for hours while waiting for a pay phone call at New York’s JFK Airport.
Ironically, one of the few movies that Tom Hanks doesn’t pee in, or even mention it, is…1984’s Splash.
29% of Americans surveyed admit they’ve intentionally stolen something from a store.
A BEETLE BY ANY
OTHER NAME
With more than 21 million built from 1938 to 2003, the original VW Beetle was the longest-running, most-produced car in automotive history. Here’s what they call it in other countries:
Poland: Garbus (“Hunchback”)
Indonesia: Kodok (“Frog”)
Finland: Skalbagge (“Beetle”) or Kuplavolkkari (“Bubble Volkswagen”)
Japan: Kabuto-mushi (“Drone Beetle”)
Romania: Buburuza (“Ladybug”) or Broasca (“Little Frog”)
Estonia: Pornikas (“Beetle”)
Norway: Boble (“Bubble”)
Swahili: Mgongo wa Chura (“Frog Back”) or Mwendo wa Kobe (“Tortoise Speed”)
Dominican Republic: Cepillo (“Brush”)
Philippines: Kotseng kuba (“Hunchback Car”)
Mexico: Vochito (a friendly shortening of Volkswagen) or Pulguita (“Little Flea”)
Italy: Maggiolino (“Junebug”)
Turkey: Kaplumbaga (“Turtle”)
Pakistan: Foxy
Greece: Scaraveos (“Scarab”)
Bolivia: Peta (“Turtle”)
Nigeria: Catch Fire
Thailand: Rod Tao (“Turtle Car”)
Israel: Hipushit (“Beetle”)
China: Jia Ke Chong (“Beetle”)
Bulgaria: Kostenurka (“Turtle”) or Brambar (“Bug”)
Iran: Folex (“Frog”)
Iraq: Agroga (“Froggy”)
Guatemala: Cucaracha (“Cockroach”)
Nepal: Bhyagute Car (“Frog Car”)
Russia: Zhuk (“Bug”)
Belgium: Coccinele (“Ladybug”)
Spain: Escarabat (“Beetle”)
Denmark: Boblen (“Bubble”)
Shocking, isn’t it? One in 6,000 Americans dies by accidental electrocution every year.
SEAFARING FOOD
IN THE AGE OF SAIL
Imagine a diet of rock-hard, weevil-infested crackers, oversalted beef, dried peas, slimy water, and watered-down rum. Now imagine that you’re expected to climb riggings, swab decks, haul anchors, and fight wars on that diet.
SETTING SAIL
Today we think of the world as a global community—anyone can get almost anywhere within a matter of hours. But until the end of the 16th century, travelers, traders, and explorers could go only as far as their oar-powered ships could take them. These ships did have sails, but their main power source was muscle, not wind. The Battle of Lepanto in 1571 is considered the last great naval battle fought between oar-powered ships (the 200 galleys of the Christian crusaders defeated the 273 galleys of the Turkish fleet). After that, sailing technology advanced rapidly and the “Age of Sail” began. It lasted almost 300 years.
During this period, the European fleets explored, conquered, and colonized the world from North and South America to the Caribbean, to Africa, and around the Cape of Good Hope to Australia and the South Pacific. They opened up trade with India and the Far East and expanded commerce between European nations. The huge sailing ships moved faster, carried more cargo, and armed themselves more heavily than any ships that preceded them. They also stayed at sea longer—voyages could last for months on end. So what did sailors eat? From the start to the end of the Age of Sail, shipboard food changed very little for ordinary sailors of Western navies and merchant fleets. Distinguishing characteristics: poor quality (and it deteriorated even more during the voyage), insufficient quantities…and the same thing, day after day.
ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU SEASICK
Storage space on board was very limited and had to accommodate cargo, guns, equipment, and enough food and water to last as long as the voyage took—and no one could predict how long that might be. To save space (and money), shipowners and naval procurement officials often skimped on provisions. On top of that, the ships were damp, so dry stores of food, such as dried peas, became infested with weevils and other bugs. Beer soured; butter got rancid. Salted meat and fish survived, but they were too salty and there wasn’t enough fresh water aboard to spare any for soaking the salt out. Fresh fruit and vegetables? Once a ship left port they were virtually unheard of.
95% of people age 50 or older have difficulty seeing at close distances.
Hungry sailors were at the mercy of almost everyone: penny-pinching shipowners whose main concern was to feed them as cheaply as possible, dishonest ship’s pursers who supplied bad food or shortrationed the shipowner (and then sold the stolen goods), and unskilled cooks who couldn’t have done much with the available supplies even if they’d been great chefs. It’s no wonder that sailors looked forward to their daily portion of rum.
FEELING GROGGY
Drunkenness was a major problem among seamen. Until 1687, sailors in England’s Royal Navy received an evening ration of one pint of brandy and got drunk on it; after 1687 and the conquest of Jamaica, they switched from a pint of brandy to a pint of rum—and got drunk on that. In an attempt to control the drunkenness in his fleet, British Admiral Edward Vernon ordered that the rum be diluted with water and distributed twice a day, at noon and at 6:00 p.m. The mixture was quickly dubbed grog, in honor of Vernon’s nickname, “Old Grog,” a reference to the kind of fabric his cloak was made of—grogram. The grog dilution was always done in the presence of an officer to make sure that sailors got their full allotment and weren’t cheated by pursers who added too much water and then sold the extra rum.
SHIP’S BISCUIT AND OTHER DELICACIES
Ship’s biscuit, also called hardtack or pilot’s bread, was a crucial part of a sailor’s diet. Biscuit was round, oval, or square crackers made of a dough heavy on flour and light on water (without shortening or yeast, and usually without salt), baked until it was so hard and indestructible that it was reputed to be able to last half a century. It was always infested with weevils, and though the sailors hated the bugs, they were still a sort of asset: the weevils ate tunnels into the biscuit, which made the rock-hard crackers easier to break up and eat. Seamen were very dependent on biscuit for filling their stomachs, but eating it plain wasn’t a great menu option, so it was often soaked in water or coffee or crumbled and fried with salt pork or bacon grease.
Michael Zaslow’s claim to fame: He was the first actor ever killed on Star Trek (which marked the first tim
e Dr. McCoy said, “He’s dead, Jim.”)
Salt beef and salt pork were the other staples of a sailor’s diet in the Age of Sail. Cheap cuts of meat were preserved in brine, or pickle, in casks, where they’d last throughout a voyage. Salt horse and salt junk were seamen’s slang for salted beef, “horse” alluding to the toughness of the beef and “junk” referring to the general belief that provisioners threw all the worst parts of several different animals into the casks of brine. Cheap salted fish and dried fish sometimes replaced salt beef and pork; sailors called it “Poor John.”
BURGOO KING
Ship’s cooks and sailors had so little to work with that they could combine their limited ingredients in only a few different ways.
• Lobscouse was a boiled-up stew of salt meat cut in small pieces, broken biscuit, potatoes, and onions.
• Salmagundi consisted of salt fish boiled with onions.
• Skillygalee was a watery oatmeal gruel.
• Burgoo was a thicker oatmeal gruel or porridge seasoned with salt and sugar. It was so easy to prepare (especially in rough weather) that on some ships the cook made it for every evening meal; some shipowners were too cheap to provide anything but the ingredients for burgoo.
• Bully beef was salt beef from which the cook had boiled away all the fat (and added it to his grease pot—one of the perks of his job), leaving something so tasteless and hard that the sailors often carved it into trinkets instead of eating it.
AVAST, YE SCURVY SEA DOG
You can’t talk about seafaring food without talking about scurvy, a disease caused by vitamin C deficiency. It was rampant on ships for most of the Age of Sail because of the lack of fruit, vegetables, and other foods that contain vitamin C. What’s worse, ships generally set sail in the spring, when most people were still run-down from a winter diet of preserved foods and nothing fresh. That means they began the trip in poor health, and after six weeks of hardtack and salt pork, many were very sick, even dying.
Uncle John’s Unsinkable Bathroom Reader Page 39