by Susan Lewis
‘Yeah. Why not?’
Shall I ask him to empty the ashtray? It’s stinking a bit.
‘Mr Flowers, over the back, is going to let me borrow his ladder for the weekend, so I can get up on the roof to sort out the aerial,’ he says.
‘That’s good.’
‘Do you think you’ll be comfortable enough down there on the settee?’
‘It’ll be better than being stuck up here.’
‘What about getting upstairs to the bathroom?’
‘I’ll manage.’
By tomorrow, or the next day, I’ll be going up and down right as rain anyway.
Chapter Fourteen
Susan
I wish Ruth Parker or Lizzie Phelps would be my best friend. I keep asking them, but they say no, they’re already each other’s best friends, and they don’t need any one-eyed twits to be their friend, thank you very much. That’s mean, saying that, because I’ve got two eyes, like everyone else. Anyway, they’re still sort of letting me be in their gang, so that’s all right.
Caroline Fry’s gone over to Sophie’s side now so we don’t speak to her any more. Really, I wish I was in that gang, because they’re all going on a school cruise next June, and I am too. Mum and Dad talked it over, and decided they’d put away a bit each week so I could go to Norway and Denmark on a ship called the Devonia. I’ve seen pictures of it, and of the places we’re going to see. There are glaciers (mountains of ice) and fjords (blue lakes at the edge of the sea) and a mermaid sitting on a rock.
‘Oh, I’m sure you’ll all be friends by then,’ Dad said, when I told him about the others who are going.
‘But what if we’re not? They might push me overboard.’
‘Don’t be silly. Anyway, you’ve got your junior swimmer now, so you’ll be all right.’
I hit him and he caught my hand and pulled me into one of his scratchy-chin hugs.
He’s coming up the school later to have a word with Mrs Fields about how well I’m not doing in class. I’m trying, but it’s all really hard. When Mum does it with me at home it’s all right, but when I get to school I can’t do it any more. Except spelling. I’m quite good at that.
Kelvin Milton keeps calling me a dunce. I just do as Dad says and ignore him, because I know I’m not. Last year, at the end of Spring term I was sixth in the class. I know I dropped down to twenty-sixth by the end of Summer term, but that happens sometimes, Dad said. I was just having a few problems paying attention, but we’re going to get that sorted out this year, which is why he’s coming to talk to Mrs Fields, because I’m still not paying attention.
We don’t tell Mum any of this because we don’t want her to worry. She’s got enough on her plate at the moment, what with still trying to get these headaches sorted out, thinking about Christmas, and preparing for Uncle Maurice coming over at the beginning of next week. She says she’s going to get up for that, but Dad says, ‘We’ll see.’
She’s got a bed on the settee in the front room now. The telly’s in there too, and Dad’s seeing about putting in a gas fire, so she doesn’t have to worry about keeping going out in the cold to get some coal. I like the front room, it’s our best room, with pictures of the Queen and Prince Philip in round brass frames, a big, cosy green three-piece suite and a furry rug in front of the fireplace. There are little wooden camels on the mantelpiece joined together by chains, and a cabinet in the corner where Mum keeps our bit of bone china, and some costume dolls Aunty Kathleen sent down from London.
‘All right class, close your exercise books now and bring them to the front.’
I feel a bit worried because I haven’t finished. We’re supposed to be writing a composition on Christopher Columbus, who discovered America in 1492, but I’ve only written down that he sailed across the Atlantic with three ships, the Santa Maria, the Pinta and the Nina. I couldn’t think of anything else, but we’re meant to fill a whole page.
I take my book out the front and put it on the pile with the others.
‘Please miss, I don’t feel very well,’ I say.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘I’ve got a headache.’
‘Then stay in the classroom during break, and don’t try climbing out of the window again. You could have had a nasty accident last time.’
‘Yes miss. I mean, no miss.’
I did it for a dare.
‘We dare you to jump out of the window,’ Lizzie and Ruth said. ‘If you do, you can be number three in our gang.’
I would have won if Mrs Fields hadn’t walked in and grabbed me before I jumped down into the playground. It wasn’t all that high, only about as tall as Dad, so I could have done it, easy-peasy, without breaking my neck and going to hospital in an ambulance with the siren blaring.
I wonder if she’ll tell Dad about it tonight. I hope not, because I’m in enough trouble already for not doing my work and talking in class. Still, it wouldn’t be as bad as telling Mum, I’d really be in for it then.
I’ve just come in from school now and Mum’s asleep on the settee, so I sit down next to her and wait for her to wake up. She doesn’t though, but I wait a bit longer, just in case. She’s got the pink candlewick eiderdown from her bed over her, and some pillows with pale pink and blue stripes. I run my finger along the lines, not making any noise, but quite close to her face. Her eyes don’t open so I lean right down to her, until my nose is almost touching hers. Then I stare out of the window and watch the bush outside bobbing about in the wind.
I’m getting a bit bored now so I go and find something to eat. Gary’s already out in the street playing, so I think I might start making the tea. I can’t find anything to cook though, so I go upstairs to play with my dolls. I put my record player on really loud, and when that doesn’t wake Mum up I jump up and down on the bed.
I go back downstairs. She’s still asleep, so I take my glasses off and poke out my tongue. She’d go really mad if she could see me, but she can’t, so I keep on doing it. Then I go and get my bike and take it out for a ride.
I cycle round the green twice, very fast without falling off and grazing my knees and knocking my teeth out. Then I take my bike home and into the front room.
‘What are you doing?’ Gary says, coming in through the door. His lips are nearly blue he’s so cold. ‘That’s not allowed, to have your bike in here.’
‘So?’
‘You’ll get told off.’
‘See if I care.’
He looks at Mum, then back at me. ‘Is there anything to eat?’ he asks.
‘Only some celery.’
‘Ugh, yuk, yuk, yuk. Makes me feel sick. When’s Dad coming home? I want some tea.’
‘I know, we could go round the shop and get something. There’s money up in the cupboard, for the rent. We could use that.’
‘All right. What shall we get?’
‘What are you two going on about there?’ Mum says, coming awake.
‘We’re going round the shop to get some tea,’ Gary tells her.
‘Oh, are you now? And whose bright idea was that?’
‘Susan’s.’
‘I thought as much. And what’s that bike doing in here, madam? Get it out, now.’
I do as I’m told then go back to sit down on the floor next to her knees. Gary’s next to her head so I can’t get in there. She lights up a fag and I wait for her to say something about my glasses not being on, but she’s too busy chatting with Gary about what he did in school today. I don’t want her to ask me, so I go back upstairs and get into bed.
I hardly ever get told off now. I can do almost anything I like and no-one ever says anything. It makes me feel brave and scared. I wonder what would happen if I did something really bad, like rob a bank or murder someone. I could strangle Kelvin Milton to death, and they wouldn’t hang me, because it’s been banned now. I’d go to prison for the rest of my life though, and live in a cell, or a dungeon and only have bread and water to eat. I wonder if Mum and Dad would come to visit me. I think Dad would. Mum would
just go on lying on the settee, drinking tea and smoking fags, because that’s all she ever does now. She’s not interested in us any more. Well, she is in Gary, she’s just not in me.
Gary and I are up Gran’s, making toast in front of her new gas fire. My cousin Jacqueline’s out in the kitchen, peeling some potatoes for dinner and having a chat with my other cousin, Brenda, who’s about nineteen, the same age as Jack. Brenda’s got a mini dress on that’s so short you can see all the way up to the top of her big fat legs. I was wondering why you couldn’t see her suspenders, but then she showed Jack that her nylons have got knickers attached, so they don’t need suspenders. It’s really clever that, but I bet she’s freezing, because it’s nearly snowing out. You can see it whisking about in the wind.
Our Jack’s in the doghouse with Gran at the moment, because Andy, her husband, came round earlier to try and take their little girl Vanessa away. They had a terrible row, Jack and Andy I mean, me and Gary heard it all, we even saw her whack him round the head with the vacuum pipe. I don’t know how much damage it did to his head, but it broke the pipe, and Gran’s mad now, because she can’t afford another. Me and Gary thought we might go and sit outside on the wall and ask people to spare a halfpenny as they walk past so we could help her buy a new one, but it’s too cold, so we’re making some toast instead.
Gran’s having a bit of a snooze in her chair, so we can put on as much butter and jam as we like. Watch with Mother is coming on in a minute. It’s Friday, so it’ll be The Woodentops. I love Spotty Dog, but I always want to punch Baby Woodentop. I don’t know why, because usually I like babies. Oh no, just a minute, The Woodentops come on after dinner, that’s right. I think it should be Andy Pandy or Bill and Ben in a minute. Pob-bop little weed!
Oh yes, I nearly forgot. Uncle Maurice is here from New Zealand now. He came down our house last night, but it was late so we were already in bed and asleep. Dad told us he’d been when he was driving us up Gran’s on his way to work this morning. He said Mum was very happy to see her brother for the first time in nearly fifteen years, but it had worn her out a bit, which is why we’re up Gran’s today, so Mum can have a rest.
Uncle Maurice is upstairs in the bath now, so we still haven’t seen him. Gran says his hours are all upside down because he’s come from the other side of the world. He’s in the air force, so he might have flown the plane back himself and landed it over the BAC in Filton. We’ll be able to ask when he comes down for his breakfast. Well, it’ll be his dinner now, and we’re having a nice roast chicken especially for him, that Jack’s making, if she gets on with it and stops gossiping with Brenda.
‘Get on with it and stop that bloody gossiping out there,’ Gran shouted at her just now. ‘And make sure you peel the spuds thin, we’re not millionaires.’
After she put the spuds on to boil, Jack took a kettle of hot water up to Uncle Maurice, to warm up his bath, and we could hear them laughing and joking up there, carrying on like a pair of bloody lovebirds, Gran said. They’re not though, because he’s her uncle, and he’s ten years older than Mum, so that makes him more than twenty years older than Jack. It’s a bit rude though, for her to take him some water when he hasn’t got any clothes on. I wonder if she saw his dicky di-do.
It’s Andy Pandy, Looby Loo and Teddy Bear.
When Jack and Andy were courting they used to come and babysit for us sometimes, and they’d kiss right in front of me. I never knew whether to look or not. I wanted to, but it felt naughty to watch, so I just used to steal little looks and hope they didn’t catch me. They kissed the way people in films do, for a long time on the mouth, with their heads going round and round. I’ve been practising on my dolls, but I don’t think I’m moving my head right yet.
‘All right, you two,’ Jack says, coming into the room, ‘say a nice hello to your Uncle Maurice.’
We both turn round and look up. He’s not anything like I expected. He hasn’t got a uniform on, the way he has in the photo Mum keeps, and he isn’t even as tall as Dad. His hair’s wet, but I think it’s the same colour as mine, and his clothes are all creased, like they need a good iron.
‘So you’re Susan and Gary,’ he says with a great big smile. ‘I’ve heard all about you.’
‘Stand up,’ Gran tells us, making us jump because we didn’t know she was awake.
‘How do you do?’ Uncle Maurice says, holding out a hand towards me to shake.
No-one’s ever said how do you do to me before, so I take his hand and do a little curtsey. ‘How do you do?’ I say back.
He laughs quite loud, then swings me up and gives me a great big kiss on the cheek. I don’t like it very much, but I don’t say anything, because it wouldn’t be polite. ‘You’re a lovely thing, aren’t you,’ he says, ‘behind those funny old glasses.’
I’ve just noticed something very strange about him, he’s got one blue eye and one brown.
‘Why have you got one blue eye and one brown?’ I ask.
‘Susan! Where’s your manners?’ Jack cries.
‘Sorry,’ I say, going really red.
Uncle Maurice thinks it’s funny and laughs loud again. ‘One of them’s false,’ he tells me. ‘Can you guess which one?’
I guess the blue, but it’s the brown.
‘Why didn’t they give you two eyes the same colour?’ Gary asks, as he gets scooped up for a kiss.
‘Because they’d run out of blue ones the day I went in,’ he answers. ‘I can see yours are nice and blue.’
‘Just like Dad’s,’ I inform him.
He puts his eyebrows up and says, ‘That’s right, just like your father’s.’
‘Do you want a cup of tea, Maurice?’ Jacqueline asks him. ‘The kettle’s already on, so it’s no bother.’
‘That’d be lovely,’ he tells her. ‘No milk, two sugars. What about you, Florrie, are you going to have one?’ Fancy calling his mum by her first name. I wonder if she’s going to tell him off.
But Gran’s scowling at Jacqueline. ‘Not if she’s making it,’ she says.
‘Oh, Gran, don’t be stupid,’ Jack grumbles. ‘What difference does it make . . .’
‘It makes a difference to me. You broke my bleeding vacuum, then you come in here, behaving like a bloody trollop . . .’
‘What the bloody hell are you talking about?’
‘You know what I’m talking about, and you can cut it out my girl, do you hear me? You too.’ She’s glaring at Uncle Maurice now.
He gives her an air-force salute. ‘Anything you say, Florrie.’
‘She’s going off her head,’ Jacqueline mutters.
‘You can stop all that muttering, thinking I can’t hear you,’ Gran says. ‘If these two weren’t here I’d give you a piece of my bloody mind, I would, carrying on the way you are. It’s no wonder your husband kicked you out.’
‘He didn’t kick me out. I left, and you know very well why, so just shut up, all right? You’ll wake our Vanessa up and I don’t want her hearing your bloody lies.’
‘I’ll be kicking you out next if you give me any more lip,’ Gran warns. ‘Now go and make that tea before I put me boot up your ass.’
‘Dear old Florrie,’ Uncle Maurice chuckles, going to put an arm round her. ‘Haven’t changed a bit, have you?’
‘Nor have you, more’s the pity.’
His laugh is loud and long. ‘You’d be disappointed if I had, and you know it,’ he tells her.
‘I just don’t want any of your shenanigans going on under my roof, is that understood? We had enough of them before you went off to New Zealand. I’m not putting up with it again.’
He gives her another air-force salute, then a big smackeroo on the cheek, which seems to make her smile. ‘You’re a good boy, when you want to be,’ she tells him, ‘sending me that money, taking care of your old mam, but it’s time you learned how to behave yourself with the ladies.’
Gary and me are hardly breathing. This is better than Andy Pandy any day.
‘I don’t k
now what you’re talking about,’ he teases her.
‘Yes you do. Now, that’s enough while innocent ears are listening. Tell me how you found our Ed last night, and be careful again,’ she adds, giving a nod towards us.
‘She didn’t seem too bad,’ he answers. ‘All rosy cheeks and bright blue eyes.’
‘Her eyes are brown,’ Gary and I say together.
‘Of course they are. I was just testing you.’
‘Was she in bed?’ Gran asks.
‘No. She was downstairs in the front room. Had her best dress on for the occasion, she did.’
‘A blue one with white dots?’ I ask.
‘That’s the one. And lovely she looked too. Your dad’s a lucky man, you two, do you know that?’
We look at Gran, not sure how to answer.
‘How was Eddie?’ she asks. ‘Did he say anything?’
‘Like what? He was civil, if that’s what you mean, and why wouldn’t he be? I’m a pretty civil sort of bloke myself when I want to be.’
‘He didn’t tell you anything about how it is?’
‘Florrie, it’s the first time I’ve ever met the man, so he’s not going to be telling me the ins and outs of it all, now is he? Anyway, why are you asking me? Doesn’t he tell you?’
‘He never tells anyone anything. Carries it all, he does. I don’t think he even tells her everything that’s going on.’
‘Gran?’ I say.
‘Yes my old love?’
‘What’s going on?’
‘Nothing. You shouldn’t be listening. Go on out and give our Jack a hand with the dinner. Tell her I said you can have a biscuit to keep you going. And tell her to hurry up with that bloody tea.’
‘Gran says hurry up with the bloody tea,’ I say to Jacqueline as we walk into the kitchen.
‘Oi! That’s enough of that language, young lady.’
‘We’re allowed to have a biscuit,’ Gary tells her, tripping over the cat on his way to the biscuit tin.
‘Just one each, mind, we’ve got to make sure there’s enough for Uncle Maurice.’
After she’s gone with the tea, I put my finger over my lips to warn Gary to be quiet, and we tiptoe to the living-room door to have a listen. It turns out they’re just talking about boring things, so I take Gary back to the kitchen.