“Thank you for calling me last night,” he said, making circles on my hip with the tips of his fingers.
“You’re thanking me for that drunken rambling mess?” I cringed at the memory, still unsure of everything I’d said.
“Thank you for coming to me when you were upset, even if all I could do was sing you to sleep. It meant a lot to me that you didn’t feel alone while you were sad.” His solemn tone drew my head back to better look at him.
“Why are you so good to me?” I teased, my heart overflowing.
“Because I love you.” Slowly closing the space between us, he paused, his breath against my lips. His eyes bored into mine as the power of those words sent a surge of emotion through me. It was stronger than anything I had ever experienced. I was in awe of it. My eyes burned with unshed tears, an outpouring of pure happiness. “I love you,” he repeated just before his lips melted with mine.
Having the words repeated did nothing to diminish their effect. If anything, they hit me harder, making me realize just how few people had ever said them to me and how long it had been. Other than Megan, no one had told me they loved me since my high school boyfriend, who obviously hadn’t meant it since his feelings changed so quickly following my arrest.
Hearing the words come from Jaxon was a completely different experience. Without a doubt, I knew he meant them and that they came from the purest part of his heart. It was overwhelming. And the fact that this wonderful man loved me was the best feeling in the world.
“I love you too!” I laughed through the tears that couldn’t be contained and crushed my mouth to his despite the clumsy contact from our matching smiles.
That kiss was like a spark to tinder.
“I love you,” he said, shoving down his cargo shorts and kicking them off.
“I love you,” I replied, tugging the t-shirt over his head.
“I love you.” Drawing out the words, he slowly untied the belt at my waist and parted my robe to remove it.
“I love you,” I gasped as one nipple was enveloped in the warmth of his mouth. And again, when the other nipple pebbled between the soft clamp of his fingers. And again, when his fingers filled me.
“I will never get tired of hearing you say that,” he panted, rolling me under him.
“Me neither.” My hands mapped out every dip and curve of his chest, his back, and his hips until they reached their ultimate goal. Dipping one hand into the front of his boxer briefs, I grasped firmly and stroked him from base to tip.
“I love you so damn much.” His hips moved in time with my hand, just as mine rose up to take the additional finger that stretched my core. That magic thumb pressed down to make little circles on my hypersensitive clit. But I wanted more.
“I need all of you,” I urged, pushing his boxer briefs past his hips.
Suddenly, he stilled, his head bowing to rest on mine. “Shit. I don’t have a condom. I forgot to put another one in my wallet after the dressing room celebration sex.”
“It’s okay. I’m on birth control and got tested at a clinic in Daytona. I’m clean.”
“I’m clean too, and I’ve never gone without a condom. I promise I would never put you at risk. Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I said, needing to feel him more than I needed my next breath. Fortunately, he felt the same.
Bare, he slid into me, and we marveled at the indescribable intimacy. We were connected, body and soul. Without a barrier between us, every sensation was heightened and shared as never before.
“You feel so fucking amazing.” One hand moved down my back until the grip on my ass pulled me impossibly closer. “I love you,” he whispered against my lips, then took my mouth in a hot, open-mouthed kiss.
Our tongues slid against each other, caressing and savoring. Slowly rocking his hips, he created the perfect catalyst for my release. I chased it, lifting my hips a fraction of an inch to increase the pressure. Every nerve ending in my body called out to his as our arousal hit its pinnacle. Sensing Jaxon’s impending release sent me over the edge. Jaxon’s back bowed and he cried out as I felt his release deep within me. Pleasure hit me again and again as he held me firmly against him, continuing to trigger my climax as he rode out each wave of his own. My breath caught, the feeling almost too much to withstand.
Collapsing into a pile of tangled limbs, minutes passed before we regained control of our breathing enough to speak. Still reeling from the physical and emotional onslaught, my hands shook as I brushed the hair from his brow.
“I love you,” I said, clenching around him as my body instinctively fought to keep him inside of me for as long as possible.
After a heartfelt conversation in which Jaxon offered insight and advice but never pressured me, I decided to move out of the apartment. I refused to hold Megan back any longer, and it wasn’t fair for her to continue paying rent when she spent all of her time at Dave’s. It would have been a waste of money, turning our apartment into an overpriced storage facility for some secondhand furniture neither of us was attached to.
Eager to get me out of the apartment and neighborhood, Jaxon snagged some empty boxes from behind the corner store and we completed the shockingly easy task of packing up my worldly possessions. Four trash bags of clothes and a half dozen boxes of personal items was the sum total of everything I owned. On the bright side, it could easily be stored under the bus for now.
“Anything else?” Jaxon asked, lifting the final two boxes to take to the van.
Looking around my empty bedroom, the reality of the situation hit me. “Oh, god. I’m homeless.”
Quickly setting the boxes down, Jaxon pulled me into his arms. “You’re between homes. And you can stay with me while you figure things out.” I took a deep breath, his scent immediately comforting me. “I know you have a lot that’s unsettled right now, which probably feels scary. Just take it a day at a time. Today, we finish up the northeast leg of the tour, and tomorrow we head to Lupine. We’ll use the time off to come up with a plan, okay?”
I released a sigh along with my unease. “Okay.” I had options. I just needed to explore them and determine what my next step would be. Until then, I could lean on him. Because that’s what people in real relationships did.
“Love you,” I said, rubbing his chest and feeling the heart that beat with love for me.
“Love you.” With a quick kiss, he gathered the boxes again and we locked up.
As I got into the van, I gave Diego a final wave. It was bittersweet to watch him and all of the familiar places of home fade away while I stared out the window. I would always have fond memories of my time living there, but it was time to move on to the next chapter in my life.
“You okay?” Jaxon took my hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly.
“Yeah, just processing it all.”
He nodded in support. “It’s been an intense twenty-four hours. I’m still processing your phone call from last night.” We both laughed, lightening the mood. “Seriously though, I need you to help me understand something.”
“Oh, no.” I could only imagine what I might have said to him and it was a miracle any of it had been coherent. Squeezing his hand back in encouragement, I braced for the worst.
“You were understandably upset about Megan moving out. But then you started talking about a pantsuit and a desk and starving kids. You kind of lost me there, baby.”
I groaned, bowing my head and covering my face as I recalled more of the conversation. “I can’t believe I said all of that. In my defense, I kind of fell down an emotional rabbit hole last night with one crazy thought leading to another.”
“So how does a pantsuit fit into all of it?”
“Well, it’s going to sound silly, but Miss Molly used to wear these cool pantsuits to work. At least they seemed cool to me. Anyway, she took me to work with her one afternoon. She seemed so powerful walking in there, so full of confidence. Everyone said hello and treated her with such respect, and I wanted to grow up to be just like her. She
had her own office with a beautiful clear acrylic nameplate on the desk. It had an elegant black backing with a silver border, and to my inexperienced mind, it looked like her name was floating in it. It was the most sophisticated thing I’d ever seen, and I thought she must be really important to have it. I don’t even know what kind of job she had, but the whole experience was fascinating.”
“Why did thinking about that make you sad?”
I wasn’t sure how to explain it without upsetting him. “First, I need you to remember that I wasn’t thinking clearly and was overwhelmed by everything happening.”
“Okay.”
“When I pictured Megan moving out, I realized I would need to get a new job to support myself. That led to thinking about leaving my job with Detrimental and having to leave you unless I gave up my dream, which includes the pantsuits and office to help local food charities. Every option seemed miserable, and I just kind of spiraled.”
Jaxon pulled the van over onto the shoulder of the busy street. “What happened?” I asked, instantly worried.
“Nothing, I just need to make sure I don’t crash us into something while we get a few things straight.” He said it with a mixture of annoyance, patience, and a healthy dose of love. Turning towards me, he gripped my face in his hands. “You need to understand two things. First: I love you. So I’m never going to let you give up on your dreams. Second: You love me. I don’t have all of the answers, but I need you to trust me to help you figure everything out. Together.”
His voice was filled with determination as he asked for me to put my trust in him. It was a lot to ask of me, and he knew that. But for the first time in my life, I felt like I had someone who deserved that trust and wouldn’t let me down.
Chapter 23
Jaxon
Slowly becoming aware of the cold nose buried in my neck, I couldn’t contain my sigh of utter contentment. I kept my eyes closed, my internal clock telling me it was still early. Plus, I didn’t want to leave the perfect state of relaxation that only occurred upon waking.
Shifting slightly to wrap my arms tighter around the woman I loved, I basked in the peace of that moment. The only thing that would have made it better was if we were in my bed at home so that I could begin the day with the sounds of her pleasure echoing around me. Instead, I held her close while she continued to sleep.
Last night had been rough, and she needed the extra rest, not a horny boyfriend. The concert had gone off without a hitch, and having Megan and Dave there had made it special for Anna. But telling Megan that she moved out and then saying goodbye took a toll on her emotionally. Anna and Megan promised to stay in touch and talk often, but they both knew things would never quite be the same after they parted. Following their final tear-filled hug, I’d done my best to support Anna as she’d put on a brave face and reassured me that she was fine.
Parting from someone she loved, even for the right reasons, was sure to be painful, and Anan would probably be feeling pretty raw when she woke up. So my goal was to make her feel extra loved today. And every day for the rest of our lives.
In theory, I’d always wanted a wife and family. With parents like mine, I couldn’t help but want what they had. For the first time, I could see that life more clearly. And Anna was at the heart of it. I fucking loved this woman and would give her anything in return for sharing her life with me. But first, I needed patience.
My inner caveman wanted nothing more than to propose today, get married tomorrow, and have her pregnant by tomorrow night, irrevocably staking my claim. Of course, he’s the same neanderthal who had been two seconds away from dragging Anna to the nearest tattoo parlor when she jokingly suggested getting my name inked onto her ass. But every now and then, he made a compelling argument, and this was one of those times. He pointed out that there was nothing holding her back from making a life with me. At a crossroads, she could simply base all of her upcoming life choices on what fit best into my life. It could be just that easy.
Fortunately, I was evolved enough to rein that bastard in, preventing him from scaring her away. Unlike Neanderthal Man, I knew that it would be unfair to ask her to make a commitment to me at such a vulnerable time in her life. And it would be especially unfair to ask her to do all of the compromising. I needed to be sure that she would never regret the decision to be with me or resent me for any sacrifices made on her part. Without any added pressure, she needed to determine her career path and decide where she wanted to live before I could even consider asking her to join her life with mine permanently.
And life with me wouldn’t always be easy. Some things in my career weren’t negotiable. Touring to promote our music had always been essential and was a large part of our income. We had some control over how long and often we toured, but it would remain a necessary part of my life as a musician.
So, what would happen when Anna got a permanent job? I couldn’t imagine leaving her for weeks at a time, yet it felt completely selfish to ask her to give up her dreams for long periods of time to support me and my dreams. And what if she got offered a position in another city or another state? Lupine didn’t exactly have a bustling PR industry. But Charlotte was a reasonable commute, and maybe she could find something that allowed her to work remotely, at least part of the time. There had to be a compromise. We just needed to find it.
“Morning, rock star,” Anna rumbled, distracting me from my train of thought. Her hand traveled down my chest towards my rapidly thickening cock. “What are you thinking so hard about?”
“Just how much I love you.” The last word turned into a groan as she gripped me through my pajama pants.
“Mmmm. I-love-you sex is the best. Why don’t you stop thinking about it and show me?” With her face still buried in my neck, she began licking and sucking the skin there.
“It would take a lifetime,” I confessed, my feelings too close to the surface to completely hold them back.
“Then you better get started.”
Impatient to get home, it was frustrating that our twelve-hour trip turned into twenty due to Woodchuck’s mandatory driving break. But we would never compromise on safety.
With eight hours to kill, we made the best of playing tourist in Cincinnati. Pops was riding home on another bus to review the new security changes with the crew, so it was just the seven of us. Luckily, our Uber driver, Paul, was a fan and happily accommodated our large party in his minivan. He even insisted that Lance ride shotgun. Not wanting to press our luck with the next driver, we offered to hire him for the day. He eagerly accepted and even agreed not to post anything online until the end of the day.
Needing fresh air and room to move, I suggested we start at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Gardens. Paul was stoked that we let him tag along, but only entitled pricks would make him wait in the van for hours on end. My destination choice also had me scoring points with Anna, who rewarded me with plenty of kisses along the way. Especially at the giraffe exhibit. Leaving with a stuffed meerkat tucked under her arm, Anna’s mood remained high. Mission accomplished.
We went for a late lunch at a taco bar that Eli had seen featured on a Food Network rerun. His fascination with the channel had definite benefits when we were on the road, and today’s selection lived up to its stellar reputation.
After a few photos with the staff and some signed autographs, Shawn, Lance, and Derek chose the Hard Rock Casino as our next stop. Choosing to start small, Anna pouted adorably each time she lost on the nickel slot machines. By the time she worked her way up to the roulette wheel, she was over the moon to double her five-dollar bet.
Things got a little hectic once we were recognized, but the casino’s security kept the crowd under control. Still, we decided to call it quits before things got too far out of hand. As Paul drove us back to the truck stop where Woodchuck had parked, we compared our losses. Everyone had broken even or lost a little while Shawn left a few thousand dollars richer. The guy had the touch for making money multiply.
“Wait!” Derek calle
d from the seat in front of me. “Callie didn’t get to pick anything to do yet.”
“That’s okay,” she insisted. “I had a great time, and we need to get back.”
“Nope, not good enough,” he argued, pulling out his phone to do a quick search. “Alright, Paul. One more quick stop.” He rattled off an address, and we soon pulled up in front of a specialty cupcake shop.
“Aw, he’s so sweet,” Anna whispered to me like she was engrossed in watching a romantic movie as Derek ushered Callie inside.
The blush on Callie’s cheeks gave me my first clue that there may be something developing between her and Derek. A split second of brotherly protective mode kicked in before I acknowledged that they could be good together.
“Interesting,” I said, just loud enough for Anna to hear me.
“It doesn’t bother you?”
“No,” I admitted, shocked by my admission. “As long as he’s good to her.” Anna’s smile told me she knew more than she was letting on, but I figured that was between her and Callie. And I really didn’t want too many details about my sister’s love life.
After a quick debate, we decided on a dozen different cupcakes and asked for a knife to quarter them all. Opinions varied, but everyone found a favorite. By the end, even Callie was completely sugared out and ready to admit defeat. And with my newfound awareness, I couldn’t help but notice her wiping a spot of frosting from Derek’s beard.
The rest of the drive home passed quickly. Anna and I were stretched out on a sofa with a movie playing in the background when Lance convinced her to set up a Facebook account. Quickly grabbing an iPad, claiming it would be easier than navigating her outdated, cracked phone, he got to work. As he entered her birthday, I was reminded that it was coming up next Wednesday and that I didn’t have much time to plan something special for her.
As I pondered that, Lance finished creating her account, making sure to max out the privacy settings. Then he dove into the content. “Where are you from?”
Changing the Key: A Detrimental Rock Star Romance (Book 1) Page 23