"Sure," he said after a moment. Seeing Auli made him remember the night before, and part of him reminded the rest that he'd better forget about it. That couldn't happen again, no matter how good it had been.
"I see they fixed things," she said, looking around. "I'm, I'm sorry I made all this happen, Tarrin. I was being selfish and inconsiderate and stupid, and I had no idea you were trying to protect me. I'm really sorry."
Tarrin was surprised to hear her say it, but he was more surprised that she meant it. He realized that Jenna had struck the girl to the bone, making her see what she'd done in a way that her mother never could, and it had made her truly repentant.
"That's alright, Auli," he said after a long moment. "Sometimes the only way you learn is to put your hand in the fire."
She laughed ruefully, and then finally looked up at him. Her chagrin was all over her face, and her eyes had a strange desperate quality to them he'd never seen before. "I feel likes such an ass," she continued. "I didn't even stop to think what would happen to you."
"It's alright, Auli. In a way, I'm sorta glad it happened. It's giving me a chance to show Jesmind just how much I hate how possessive and jealous she is. I'm hoping that after this she'll back off and give me room to breathe and live my own life, without her trying to control me."
"I'm really relieved to hear that," she said sincerely. "I, I hope that you're not mad with me too," she said, looking away. "I know we were friends. I hope this didn't poison that."
Tarrin realized she was serious, and it made him look at things in a new way. Was his friendship with Auli poisoned now, even though they'd spent the night together? He looked in himself, and realized that it wasn't. He certainly looked at her differently now, but he didn't think badly of her. He understood that her actions were the actions of a spoiled, overindulged child. But now she seemed very much unlike that. He knew that every time he saw her he'd remember that night and want to experience it again, but he felt he could control that. He understood the kind of trap that was.
"I don't think it did," he answered honestly. "I have to admit that I've never done that with a friend before, but I don't think badly of you."
It was like someone took a horse off her shoulders. She raised up and gave him a look of glorious relief, and even rushed over and hugged him, then kissed him on the cheek. "Thank the Goddess!" she exclaimed. "I can't stay, Tarrin, but would you mind if we had breakfast tomorrow? I know we have to be careful about Jesmind, but I don't want to lose you as a friend."
"Sure," he said with a smile. "I'd really like that, Auli."
"Good. After we're all done with our work, you and me and Dar can have dinner and pal around a while. Is that alright?"
"It's fine with me," he said with sincere enthusiasm. "I'd really like that."
"Good. I'll see you tomorrow, then," she said. She gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then stepped away from him. He couldn't help letting his eyes wander all over her as she walked away, remembering what all of it looked like when she didn't have clothes on, but he shook himself free of that. He'd see her without clothes on again, he was sure of that, but it wouldn't be like what it was on that night. He told himself silently that he'd better forget all about the fact that they'd slept together and accept her in the role she wanted. It wouldn't be easy, since that night was like a firebrand in his memory, hard to ignore and tending to spread into the rest of his mind when his mind was wandering, but it had to be done. If he wanted to keep Auli as a friend, he'd better do it. He wasn't sure a single night of passion was worth losing Auli's friendship, and that was what was going to happen if they slept together again. It wouldn't be that Auli would hate him, it was the simple fact that Jesmind would certainly kill her, no matter how he felt about it. And if that didn't happen, Auli's mother would certainly separate her from him forcibly to keep her from interfering with him, no matter if she initiated it or he did. Ianelle certainly looked furious with her for sleeping with him the first time.
What a day. Tarrin sat down in the chair by the fireplace and looked back on it. He's slept with Auli. He'd had a confrontation with the Were-cats. He'd lost everything he owned and got very mad at Jesmind. Then he'd been given all these wonderful gifts, even objects of incredible value like the Cat's Claws and the sword. And he'd learned many things about himself and had discovered things about others that certainly changed his mental view of them. Seeing Jesmind so furious had darkened his view of the Were-cats, while seeing Jenna working as the Keeper and then seeing her being so loving with him, it reminded him that his little sister was not the girl he remembered, but she was still family and he still loved her with all his heart. It was almost too much to consider.
In any event, this day would certainly go down in his personal history as one of the most eventful. It was definitely one that had changed his outlook, in many ways. There were several things left to address, but in a way, he was glad that would happen tomorrow. He'd had enough for one day.
As eventful as yesteday was, Tarrin knew that the bad things were going to have to be done today.
He got up early and used the new robe Keritanima gave him to shuffle down to the baths before they got too crowded. He was going to have to confront the Were-cats today, and that was something he'd rather do early, to get it overwith. He intended to go up to Jesmind's room and lay down the law, then leave as quickly as possible. He was going to tell her exactly how angry he was, and then tell her to leave Auli alone and back off. Tell her that she was smothering him, and if she wanted to push him away from her, she was certainly doing it right. She'd pushed all his buttons the day before, and he was going to make sure she knew that. He'd never completely forgive her for destroying his room, but he did understand that it hadn't entirely been her fault. He wasn't going to let her know that, because he wanted her to really think hard the next time she found him doing something she didn't like. He wanted every choice she made to be one with that ultimate threat hanging over it, the threat to have nothing to do with the Were-cats anymore and decide to stay human. If he didn't lay down the law, he'd find himself living under their law, and he knew what kind of life that would be. They would keep him chained to a wall, bored and miserable, until he finally decided to be a Were-cat again. They were doing everything they could do to make him want to change back, and he realized that they were going to play dirty. If they wanted to play that way, that was fine with him. Now that he knew that there weren't any rules, he felt he could compete with them on that level.
The baths were a bit more crowded than he'd hoped, since the Novices were down for their daily bath, but that wasn't really a problem for him. The far end of the pool was too hot for just about everyone but him, Jenna, Keritanima, Dolanna, and Jula, so it literally gave him an entire section of pool all to himself. They all stared at him a bit wildly when he slipped into the pool where it was so hot that it steamed, but he ignored them and got down to the business of cleaning up quickly. He had important things to do today.
To his surprise, he wasn't alone for very long. He'd forgotten that many of the Sha'Kar were like him, immune to the pool's heat, and he was a bit surprised to see Ianelle standing on the edge of the pool, in the act of disrobing. He looked at her and flushed slightly, for she was very much similar to Auli. It was obvious that Auli was Ianelle's daughter, for they had similarly beautiful bodies. He looked away from her before thoughts of that night with Auli got him in trouble and scrubbed more diligently with the soap on his arms. Ianelle seemed harsh sometimes, but seeing her naked drove the point home that she was Sha'Kar, and that meant that she was exceedingly lovely and had a body any human woman would kill to have.
Much to his dismay, she decided to come right to him. The pool only came up to the base of her ribcage, and it was hard to look her in the face when those bare breasts almost begged his eyes to wander over them. She greeted him in formal Sha'Kar, then smiled and took the soap from his hand. "Auli said you forgave her for her actions," she said, going around him and starting to sc
rub his back. He suddenly felt alot more comfortable with her behind him, where he couldn't see her. "She said you're to meet her for breakfast."
"Yes," he answered.
"I appreciate your compassion, honored one," she said sincerely. "I don't know what the Keeper said to her, but when she came home, she was almost inconsolable. I've never seen her so upset."
"Jenna made her see what her acts did to me," he answered. "I've never seen Jenna like that before. She's changed alot."
"I'll have to thank her," Ianelle said seriously. "After she recovered herself, she and I had a very long talk. She understands things now, understands how her behavior can harm others as well as herself. She even promised to try harder. From Auli, that's almost a complete turnaround."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," he said cautiously. He hoped it didn't change her too much. Auli's irreverence and her love of fun, coupled with her fearlessness, was what made her so much fun to be with.
"I'm sure it won't last long," she sighed. "Auli's very stubborn. It will be a long time before she completely changes."
Tarrin was silently happy to hear that. "Thanks for the gift," he said. "I really liked it."
"It's the least I could do for you, honored one," she said dismissively. "I just wanted you to know that if you need my help for anything, you have but to ask," she said in a serious manner. "It is more than you being an honored one for me now. After what happened with my daughter, I find myself in your debt. You were very considerate of her."
"She's my friend, Ianelle," he told her.
"I know. And you have no idea how much it pleases me to see such loyalty in our human counterparts. It gives me hope for the future."
"Be relieved, honored one. I told her if she touches you again, I would break five thousand years of honored tradition and whip her like a common criminal. She will not do it again."
He was both relieved and a little disappointed to hear that. With a threat like that, he was sure that Auli wouldn't even think about it. He knew that it was a good thing, but that part of him that had enjoyed the night they shared was disappointed that there wouldn't be a second encounter. "I'm more worried about me," he confessed.
She paused a moment. "If it pleases you, take her," she said calmly. "My warning was for her to touch you. If you want her, then I have neither the inclination nor the right to object."
That wasn't entirely what he wanted to hear, at least not the majority of him that knew another night with Auli was a very bad idea. "You shouldn't have told me that, Ianelle," he admitted.
"You desire her, but you don't want to succumb to temptation," she said simply. "I understand your view, honored one. No human could forget a night with one of us." With that remark, Tarrin was reminded of the deep-seated, almost cultural arrogance of the Sha'Kar. It wasn't that they were pushy about their advantages, but they didn't play them down either. Sha'Kar were very attractive people, and they knew it. "But unlike many humans, I think you understand the dangers involved in that kind of a relationship." He did indeed. He nodded in agreement. "Good. I won't tell you no, honored one. Some humans can handle a relationship with one of us, and you seem to have the mental capability and will to handle one of us. But you shouldn't think of pursuing it without keeping those dangers in mind."
"I think of them every time I see her, Ianelle," he admitted. "Usually right after remembering last night."
"You're young, honored one," she said gently. "The first time always stays with you. I remember my first lover like it was yesterday. It's perfectly fine to think those things and feel that way, so long as you remember the dangers involved."
"I'll do that," he said. It felt odd talking about this with Ianelle, but strangely enough, he felt at ease with her. Ianelle understood, and he was sure that she wouldn't bandy their conversation about.
"Don't worry at it too much, honored one," she said, reverting to completely informal Sha'Kar. She had never spoken to him like that before. "If you want, I can tell Auli to rebuff you. That way there's no danger of anything happening."
Tarrin almost laughed. "She wouldn't obey you."
"I know, but offering was the least I could do," she said with a very relaxed chuckle. She patted him on the back. "Go ahead and rinse off, and then you can wash my back."
Tarrin felt much more relaxed with this intimidating Sha'Kar matron, and he felt little reservation at scrubbing her back. "Ianelle, why is it alright if I went after Auli?" he asked, sincerely baffled by the difference.
"Auli chased you with nothing in her heart but selfish need," she answered, pulling her platinum blond hair off over her shoulder and displaying her exceptionally lovely neck and shoulders. "You, on the other hand, probably have more in your heart than that. Besides, you are an honored one. It has long been Sha'Kar custom to bow to the desires of an honored one, so long as they don't violate our own custom and law. Human honored ones in the past often shared company with Sha'Kar women. It was considered an honor for a Sha'Kar to be favored by an honored one in such a manner."
Tarrin was a little shocked by that. "You mean if a sui'kun wanted to spend the night with a Sha'Kar woman, she'd say yes because of custom?"
"Sha'Kar aren't quite as moralistic as humans, honored one," she said, glancing back at him with a slow smile. "Sharing pleasure is not confined to the bonds of marriage, and there is nothing wrong with two consenting adults exploring their attraction to one another. My objections to what Auli did with you stem more from her interfering in a very delicate situation, and the fact that she still pursued you even after you told her no. She defied your word, and as you know, in our custom, an honored one's word is as law. If you weren't in such a position with Jesmind, and you had not said no to her the first time, I would not have said a word. In fact, I would have been honored that you found my daughter appealing enough to ask into your bed."
"But what if the Sha'Kar woman didn't like the sui'kun? Wouldn't that be forcing her?"
"I guess it would, but such things didn't happen."
"That seems wrong," he told her. "Almost like making a woman a-" he almost said prostitute, but thought that may offend her.
"Whore?" she asked, startling him with her frankness. "I told you, such things didn't happen. If a lady truly disliked the honored one, she would send another in her place that was willing to share a night with him. In the dark, it is hard to tell one Sha'Kar from another, you know," she said with that same slow smile, glancing back at him again. "We do look similar, and so long as we don't speak, the human probably wouldn't know the difference. So long as a lady found another with the same length of hair and same size bosom, the honored one would never know they'd switched."
It seemed a bit outrageous, but he had to admit that she was right. He'd noticed that Sha'Kar looked similar himself, that they had the same general proportions and appearance of body. Only the face, hair, and chest seemed to vary from woman to woman, and even those didn't vary by much. They were a race of dolls, all of them beautiful, all of them similar to one another. He chuckled ruefully as he carefully and gently scrubbed her neck. "I hate to say it, but you're right," he said. "When I saw you, the first thing I noticed was how similar you are to Auli."
"She is my daughter," she sniffed. "She'd better have my looks."
Tarrin laughed. "Well, I think you're just as beautiful as she is. Maybe even more so, since you seem so austere. You have an elegance that Auli doesn't have, probably because you're older than her."
"I appreciate the complement," she said in a suddenly girlish manner, as if his praise sincerely pleased her. "I find the idea that you would find me a pleasing bedmate even more of a complement."
Tarrin blushed. "I never said-"
"You compare me to my daughter, whom you admit you enjoyed very much," she said, looking back at him. "Logic dictates that you would find me as enjoyable. I'm flattered, honored one."
Tarrin blushed furiously.
Ianelle laughed lightly. "I meant no offense, honored one. Sometimes we m
ust seem both very refined and very crude to you."
He had to nod in agreeement.
"It is a difference of culture, nothing more," she told him. "We assign different importances to different things than you. What you consider in one manner, we consider in another. I'm sure you understand that."
"Understanding it and experiencing it are two different things," he said seriously.
"Spoken with true wisdom, honored one," she said with a smile.
After washing off, he and Ianelle climbed out of the bathing pool and dried off, and then parted with kind words. He found her to be not nearly so intimidating now that he'd talked to her a little, and he had to admit that he rather liked her. He also found himself much more comfortable with being around Sha'Kar. She had reminded him that theirs was a different culture, and he felt that it would let him deal with the Sha'Kar on better footing in the future.
The bath was enjoyable, but the knowledge of what followed after it weighed on him. Not even the neatly packed bundle sitting on his bed lifted his spirits very much when he came back into his room, but he was impressed when he opened it and found a shirt and pair of trousers. The promised clothes from Cassiter the tailor, and he was very impressed. They were very simple clothes, a short-sleeved tunic of sorts, in the style of a linen undershirt but with a long tail. The material of the shirt was a strange one, that plant fiber that Cassiter had mentioned. It was very light, rather soft, and he suspected that it was exceedingly tough. He wasn't sure if it was dyed or not, but in any case, he found the shirt's dark blue color very pleasing. The trousers were leather, but it was a kind of leather he'd never seen before. It was thin as cloth, as pliable as cloth, and as soft as down, but there was no doubt that it was leather, and that meant that it would be very rugged. Somehow someone had tanned the leather in such a way as to make it like cloth in wear, but with leather's rugged durability. The package didn't include shoes, but he still had his very comfortable soft leather boots, and he rather preferred them. The package did include a belt of sturdy leather, and it had a small buckle with a shaeram etched into the bronze
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