Embrace the Desire

by Spring Stevens

  She sat straight up in the black velvet chair and took a deep breath. What would she do if he came on to her? But that was the point of the whole situation, right? Would he? Was he mated or did he have a love interest? He couldn’t be either, or Gyth would never have chosen him, right? Was he crazy? She stood and covered her mouth as her thoughts ran wide open.

  Hell, he was probably gay. She grinned, his penis was probably little too. Did that even matter?

  She had had sex several times. The first time was quick and hurt a little, but she hadn’t enjoyed it at all. She had known what her boyfriend was thinking and her arousal soon died as his thoughts turned to the secret he was trying to hide.

  She gritted her teeth; men were pigs. It was a hell of a secret and she had burst out in intense laughter and later her laughter had turned into disgust. He was gay, refused to acknowledge it, and had to think about a man to keep his erection. She had been such a fool!

  Her thoughts ran back in time to her twenty-first birthday and her skin crawled. She shut her eyes and tried to refuse to relive that night of horror. It had been the best and the worst night of her entire life.

  Damon, the lord of the Underworld, had seduced her. And she had fallen right into his cold hands. But they weren’t cold until after she had slept with him. He had hidden his true identity from her, had indeed treated her with respect and had appeared to cherish her. Until after she had professed her love for him and had slept with him.

  His hands had been so cold; she could still feel the scale-like tongue that had been forced into her mouth. She gritted her teeth and choked her past down her throat. She had not let that night rule her life even back then and she wasn’t about to let it do so now.

  She looked down at Jazz as he curled around her foot. “Well, Jazz, my furry little prince, what do you say about my new friend?”

  The cat purred and meowed up at her. She grinned and reached down to pet him as a heavy knock sounded at the door. Chanta jumped and turned to the hallway. Could she go through with this? For a second she wished she had put on the baggy clothes she worked in, but the thought quickly disappeared as the knock sounded again, much louder.

  She went to the door and grabbed the knob. “Who is it?”

  “Payne.”

  She unlocked the door and removed the chain. She opened the door and caught her breath. The expression on Payne’s face was dark and there was not an ounce of kindness to be found. He came in and pushed past her. He scanned the living room and looked out of the window. When he turned around Chanta was standing by the black chair and she had every intention of turning tail and running.

  And to think she had been fantasizing about this Destroyer? This arrogant, hateful, and uncompassionate Destroyer?

  Chapter 18

  Payne looked her over and his heart pounded in his chest. Isten’s words thundered in his head as he simply stood and stared at her.

  Of all the times to remember, now, he recalled the symbol on the white robes that Gyth had worn to the celebration the night the son of Dark Fever had been born. The same symbol that Varick had on his wrist and had never spoke of.

  He gritted his teeth as he looked at her fair hair, she was blonde, light blonde . . . almost white. He wondered if she knew as his eyes slid from her lips down her soft neck and settled on her breasts.

  She was beautiful, but then again, she was a half-god and gods were either beautiful or scary as hell. With a snarl on his lips, he stood staring at her. She was a beauty and he was the beast. A beast with a death wish.

  He ran his hand through his hair as he turned away from her. Varick swore that he would give him one wish and he had never broken an oath. He turned back to Chanta and grunted. As far as he was concerned he had told her enough, it was time to get down to business.

  “This is some serious bullshit,” Payne stated angrily. He turned on his heel, ran his hand down his forehead and rubbed his eyes.

  • • •

  Chanta eased around the chair and sat down. He was aggravated and it sure as hell didn’t take an empath to figure that out. She watched him as he turned back to the window; she definitely wasn’t going to try to charm him tonight. Swallowing hard, she figured the best course of action was to stay out of his way.

  She rolled her eyes, how she wished she had worn jogging pants and a t-shirt. The two hours she had spent getting ready seemed like a waste of time. She curled up into the chair and leaned her head against the back of the couch.

  Well, Chanta, what the hell were you expecting? A knight in shining armor? A dozen roses? This is what happens when you let your guard down! Not to mention, he was a Destroyer, aka, demon under his skin.

  Chanta studied him, watched as he looked at the couch and sat down, kicking his feet out and crossing them at the ankles. Maybe he just planned on waiting until the Burning kicked in. It was time and the sooner the better. She felt the warmth of tears rim her eyes, prayed that she wouldn’t cry or at least not do it in front of him.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” She jumped at the sharp edge in his voice.

  Chanta didn’t bother to look at him as she lied. “It has been a long night. I just got back from a date and I’m tired.”

  “A date with whom?”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “Did he get what he wanted?” Chanta gritted her teeth as he waited for a response.

  Chanta closed her eyes. “Let’s do this some other time. It’s obvious that you don’t want to be here and I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay.”

  “What’s wrong? Did I insult you? Hurt your feelings?” he questioned with a rough voice that made him seem detached.

  Stretching, she slowly pulled her heels off. His smug expression angered her. What the hell did he think she was? A whore? She narrowed her eyes and flung both of her heels at him. One hit him in the chest and the other landed with a thud against the wall. He grinned as he threw her heel to the floor.

  The four cats, who had all graced the room with their presence, perched themselves on the back of the couch and stretched out.

  “Just leave, Payne. You don’t want to be here and I don’t want you here. I have your cell number, I’ll call you.”

  “Can’t do that just yet, but I will leave soon enough. Tonight you will go through the Burning.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, did you fuck him?”

  Chanta stood and turned on her heel as her face reddened. “When I come back you had better be gone!”

  She marched to her bedroom and slammed the door. She threw herself on her bed and screamed into her pillow. Where the hell was Gyth when she needed him? Why the hell would she need him? Her father who had been missing all her life. He was just another man, god or not, and they were all the same, assholes, pigs, and perverts! She beat on the pillow with her fists and tears misted her eyes. How could she have been so stupid?

  Chanta lay there for an eternity before she finally stretched and sat up. She pulled the dress up over her head and flung it in the floor at the foot of the bed. She unclasped her strapless bra and threw it backwards over her head. In her underwear, she opened her door and went to the bathroom. She didn’t bother to look in the living room, she knew he had left; they all did when they saw that she wasn’t going to put out.

  But this wasn’t a date, it wasn’t something she could even control. And Payne was here to service her at the command of his leader. His leader and her father no less.

  Taking a deep breath, she laughed. On her second breath, she reminded herself that Payne was here to have sex with her, nothing more nothing less. It was what it was. And it wasn’t going to be easy or fun or sexy. It was going to be painful.

  And she needed to quit trying to romanticize it. It was biology, not chemistry.

  She slid her underwear to the floor and stepped into the shower stall. A hot shower, a cup of hot chocolate, and a good book was all she needed. To hell with men, to hell with Payne, and to hell with life. She was tire
d of it all, tired of the perverts, tired of the lies, and tired of the nonstop rumbling in her head. She just wanted a life, a normal life. And that was something she was never going to have.

  The hot water streamed down her back as sweat beaded on her forehead. She stepped back and tears rushed down her face. Why had his mood upset her so much? Was that not the real reason she was so upset? She had wanted him to be interested and it had hurt when he lashed out at her. Her insides tingled and her throat went dry. She had wanted him, hell, she was going to throw herself at him tonight. She was a fool and she wasn’t going to make that mistake again, not now and not ever.

  Chanta stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in the towel hanging on the door hook. She wrapped her hair in another towel from the rack over the toilet. She opened the door and walked to the living room. Her mouth flew open as Payne walked out of her tiny kitchen holding a coffee cup.

  “Why are you still here?” Heat instantly swamped her, drenched her already wet core.

  He shrugged as he took two steps and was standing in front of her, holding out the cup as if offering a truce. He looked out of place in her living room. He was dark, lethal, and dangerous. He was a predator in his own right, menacing, cold, and she was sure his cruelty knew no bounds.

  He put the cup in her hand. “Careful, it’s hot.”

  She looked down and smelled the steam coming from the hot chocolate. As he went to her couch, she suddenly felt overwhelmed and tired. She groaned under her breath as her four cats jumped up on the couch with him. She tapped her bare foot on the carpet as he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall.

  “Look, Payne, you’re going to have to leave. I’m tired and I’m going to bed.”

  “Go ahead.”

  “Leave!” she screamed as she sat the cup down on the end table.

  “Can’t do that.”

  Chanta walked over in front of him and kicked his leg. “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but I’m not interested. You leave now or I’m calling the cops!”

  Payne didn’t even chuckle at her worthless threat. “And what are the cops going to do?”

  “Make you leave my residence.” She balled her fists at her sides when she saw the glimmer of a smile touch his lips. “Just leave. Gods above, I know you don’t want to be here let alone do this Burning thing. I’ll just call Gyth and request another Destroyer.”

  “Sit down and shut up. You make too much noise.”

  Chanta kicked him again. “I said to leave! Get out! I can’t go through with this. I know the consequences and I accept them. So you can leave now.”

  She reached for his hand, but he grabbed her wrist. She jerked, but he only grinned as he pulled her to his lap. The towel around her loosened and she grabbed at it as she landed on his thighs. The towel came completely undone and she sat bare-butt on his legs. Her face went scarlet-red as he grabbed her other wrist. The towel fell to her lap as he looked down.

  “Let me go!”

  “No, I don’t think I will.” His eyes narrowed and he asked again, “Did you fuck him?”

  Chanta jerked and tried to pull from his grip twisting one way then another. She tried to bite his hands as she twisted and landed on her knee between his legs. He was smiling as he put both of her hands into one of his. She cursed as he pulled her into a sitting position across his lap.

  She was face to face with him with her hands captured behind her back. She took a deep breath as he slid his free hand up her thigh. Her breasts heaved and her body trembled as he ran his fingers up her ribcage.

  “You fucking bastard! Don’t touch me!” Even as the words left her mouth, she leaned into his touch.

  Payne pulled her forward and released her hands. She pulled back and slapped him across the cheek. He didn’t say a word so she slapped him again. He watched her eyes flame as she continued slapping him.

  Chanta crossed her arms over her breasts and glared at Payne. “Is this what you like?”

  Payne knitted his eyebrows together. “What I like?”

  “Yeah, you fucking asshole, do you like raping women?”

  Payne snarled at her. “If I was going to rape you, I would have done it already.”

  “Then what the hell do you want from me?” she screamed.

  “I want nothing from anybody. I came here to help you.”

  Chanta stilled, her body becoming heavy, her voice a hoarse whisper “Oh, that’s right. The Burning. And let’s not forget, Varick’s going to pay you for . . . ” Her voice trailed off, the words lodging themselves in her throat.

  Payne wrestled around until he had the towel in his hand, offering it to her. “Cover yourself.”

  Slowly, Chanta took the towel and climbed off of his lap and scooted to the other end of the couch. She couldn’t find any words to spit out so she sat silently staring at the floor. She felt like a fool. Payne was basically a prostitute, getting paid to do the wild thing with someone he obviously didn’t want.

  “I’m sorry I slapped you. But like I said, I don’t think I’m going to do this. I don’t think I want immortality.”

  “Don’t be sorry. And you don’t have a choice in the matter. You’ll go through the Burning and you’ll survive because I say you will.” Payne stretched out once more. “Trust me, there are much worse things than immortality.”

  She shook her head. “I’m just an assignment to you, aren’t I?”

  In a fluid motion, he was on his feet, her cup of chocolate in his hand. “Drink this as I tell you a story.”

  She took the cup, sipping as he sat back down. Her tears slipped down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away.

  “As most know, after the Titans, the Olympians emerged and ruled over the universe for a long time. What most do not know is that Isten fathered a son. His name was Charioton and he fathered Charon. Charon in turn fathered Tanterious.”

  He stalked around the room. “Tanterious overthrew the Olympians, the Sumerians, the Egyptians, the Norse, and all other pantheons. He then fathered a son with Athena. And in his state of greed for more power, he destroyed Jaiden and most of the other old gods. Somehow he managed to imprison the godkillers and he changed the laws that they had once protected, took powers from the gods that had ruled before him or defied him, and used those powers to create other gods.”

  “Go on,” Chanta insisted even though she knew this tale.

  “He used those powers to create some of the gods that rule now. Damon, Zekel, Daertha, Zena, Adale, Amay, and Grace all have powers that formerly belonged to someone else.”

  Chanta shook her head, curling her feet under her. “You don’t have to tell this story, I know it by heart.”

  He said nothing for a few seconds. “The ruling god is Gyth, Tanterious’ flesh and blood born son. He is a direct descent of Isten, this universe’s creator.”

  She nodded.

  “He ruled for many years and one day, he stood before his pantheon and handed Gyth the throne to the Heavens. He gave Damon the rule of the Underworld. He then divided the remaining six gods between the two realms.”

  She laughed suddenly, couldn’t stop herself. “Well, now that explains everything!”

  He was still pacing in front of the couch, his brows knitted together. “Not exactly. What most don’t know is that Tanterious didn’t do it because he wanted to, he was forced by Terror Sky to give Gyth the throne.”

  Chanta didn’t even bat an eyelash. “I’ve never heard of Terror Sky and I’m a teacher. I know the creation myth word for word and that name has never been mentioned.”

  “He is an Elemental god and he serves Isten faithfully.”

  “Well, guess even teachers learn something new every day.” She snorted. “And honestly, that was well over two thousand years ago and I don’t see how that pertains to me.”

  “Gyth is Varick’s father. He’s your father.”

  Chanta burst out in hysterical laughter. “Father? He may indeed have been the sperm donor, but that
doesn’t mean I have to like it or deal with it. One day, Gyth and I will have a little father-daughter talk about all those little details, but until then, don’t refer to him as my father.”

  The look on his face killed the laughter in her throat, caused her to temporarily forget how to breathe. She stood shaking her head not wanting to ever have to deal with Gyth being her dad. A part of her was screaming it was all a big farce, a concocted scheme of lies. Another part was standing in the corner of her mind taking deep breaths and trying to put all the pieces together.

  As she stood there and stared into Payne’s eyes, it all came crashing down on her. She was Gyth’s daughter. Not just any of the gods, but the one who sat on the throne apparently at Isten’s command. Sinking down to her knees, she sat there numb to her core.

  And for the first time in her life, she sent a silent prayer to the mother she had never known.

  Chapter 19

  Chanta narrowed her eyes as she looked up at Payne. He looked simply delectable standing there trying to hide the smile that threatened to break free. The man was intoxicating, the total package. Her insides trembled, sweat beading her forehead.

  He smiled as he stepped closer, the tips of his fangs peeking out. “I can smell you. Like a storm brewing, growing and swirling with desire.”

  “Do you find something amusing?” She whispered, afraid her voice would fail her.

  He knelt in front of her, his nostril flaring as he took a deep breath. His fangs peeked out again and she shivered.

  Lifting one hand, he ran his fingers down her jaw, the barest touch sending rivers of goose bumps along her skin. “Your body is responding to mine, like a bee to a flower.”

  She swallowed hard, found her voice. “That’s not how I would put it.”