Valerie pondered this phenomenon silently until Mark said, “I’m screwed, aren’t I. Now that I’ve confessed, you’re going to make me beg?”
“No.” She slung her arms around his neck and kissed him. “Honestly, I’m so glad, Mark. I know it must be hard for you having the same old me every time.”
His whole body relaxed. “Not at all, my beautiful princess. You’ve spoiled me in our times together. You’ve never turned me down once and you’ve never expected me to do the missionary position except once a year. And it’s not like I can take what you won’t give.”
“What do you mean?”
“Force isn’t allowed. It’s built into us from the beginning. We all have implants, honey.” He tapped the side of his head with a finger. “All you have to say is no and launch is a no go.”
“I didn’t know that. How did I not know that all this time?”
“Don’t know, princess, maybe you slept through that part of orientation.” Mark tilted his head to one side. “I only resented it because it was an unneeded implant for me. I’ve never forced a woman in my life.” He ducked his head slyly. “Never needed to.”
Valerie hugged his neck again and kissed his cheek. “I believe it.”
“Now let me take you to my bed before you realize what I’ve confessed and I suffer the consequences of you banning me.”
“I’d never ban you. I like talking to you. You’re my best buddy.”
“Best buddies with benefits?”
Valerie laughed relishing the feeling of happiness she’d missed. “Exactly.”
* * * *
Valerie’s litany all day had been, “Two down, two to go.”
Johnny was her date mate for tonight. He never failed to come up with artistic ways for them to spend their time together. After their first night, he’d never played any pirate sexual games ever again, but still he was what she would term very creative. Full of life. Never a dull moment. She would hate to stifle his imagination by telling him that he wasn’t her favorite mate. She should have known he would read her mind before she was two minutes in the door.
“Something’s up, lovie.” He gave her a narrow-eyed appraisal from head to toes and then pegged her with the most serious gaze she’d ever seen him deliver.
She glanced at him with alarm. “What do you mean?”
“Each night this week you’ve been with one of the others and for the first time in months you aren’t a walking zombie upon your arrival here.”
“So?”
“So whatever was killing you one day at a time isn’t taking its toll any longer. Or I’m the problem and you’re about to tell me the bad news. It’s not hard to figure out.”
“There isn’t a problem with you. I just need to tell you something. I think my bad dreams have been because of guilt.”
“Guilt about what, lovie?” The concern in his eyes was palpable.
She swallowed hard and focused her gaze on the wall. “The thing is, I have a favorite among the five of you.” She glanced back to assess his reaction. “I didn’t mean to, it just happened and I needed to tell you about it.”
He frowned. The horrified look he exhibited startled her. “Oh, God, it’s not me, is it?”
“Um. No.”
He heaved a great sigh of relief. “Thank heavens.”
“Really? You aren’t mad at me?”
“Mad?” He crossed the room with his signature saunter and took her into his arms. “I’d never be mad at you. I adore you. But you and I are so very different. You’re always so serious. I’ve worried about your creative light.”
Valerie huffed. “I was so sure you would be angry if I confessed. I agonized over the hint of anyone finding out.”
Johnny kissed the frown from her brow and murmured, “What’s between us is very unique, lovie, and I’m more grateful than I can tell you for all the fun we’ve had, but the truth is that if we didn’t have to make this work, it probably wouldn’t, now would it?”
“Perhaps not.” Her head tilted coyly. “I’m so glad you understand.”
“If it’s not me…” Johnny trailed off and promptly smirked. He looked up at the ceiling as if to figure out a complex problem. “Then I would guess that either Hauser or Frasier has captured your heart.”
Valerie sighed deeply and rested her head on his shoulder. “Why them?”
“Hauser because he met you first, wooed you and brought you to us. Remind me to thank him again.” Johnny kissed her forehead. “Frasier because you both have a completely serious and logical mindset. So, did I guess right?”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just so glad that you aren’t upset with me.”
“Never, lovie. You should know that about me. I’m way too fun-loving for jealousy. My only concern is that whichever of the five of us it is, I hope he feels the same way about you.”
“He says he does.” Valerie exhaled a deep breath of relief.
“Then he does. None of us would ever lie to you. I’m so happy for you. And grateful.”
“Grateful?”
“I didn’t want to have to get physical with one of the others for hurting you.” He shrugged. “I’m also not comfortable in the role of vengeful man.”
“It won’t change things between us, will it?”
“Of course not, lovie.” He hugged her. “I think your newfound inspiration will take the burden off of your soul. The nightmares needed to stop.” He kissed her cheek.
“Thanks for understanding, Johnny.”
“Of course. Now, not to be pushy, but how would you feel about letting me eat dinner off of your body tonight. I’ve prepared some wonderful items for this endeavor. We can even take turns. You like chocolate-covered donuts, right?”
She laughed. Johnny was always very creative in his quest for sex. “Sounds very inventive. I can’t wait.”
“Thank you, lovie.” He kissed her lips lightly. “You’re always such a good sport.”
* * * *
Hauser was the last and the most worrisome, now that she’d spoken to the others. Everyone else thought he was her favorite. Did he believe the same erroneous information and think he was the one she favored above all the others? She hoped not. After having the notion eat at her all day long, she approached his room that night with a wary heart.
Ten minutes into the room, she sensed that Hauser understood the problem she’d been suffering from and the solution she’d discovered. The others might not talk about uncomfortable things or what went on in their beds when she shared it, but they would certainly ease his mind over the anguish she’d endured for the past several months. Valerie loathed the need to tell him that he was not the man she craved with every fiber of her being.
Chapter 15
214 until Return Day
Valerie found it excruciating to watch Hauser’s expression. He led the topics of discussion all throughout dinner. She didn’t converse much because of her worry over what she had to tell him.
“Take me to bed, Hauser,” she whispered after picking over her food for far too long.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m not hungry.”
His eyebrows rose with skepticism. “All week you’ve been getting better. Tonight, you seem worse, if that’s even possible.”
“Worse?”
He sighed deeply. “Something has been troubling you for months, Valerie. I’m not an idiot. Just tell me.”
“I’m afraid to tell you.”
That got his attention. He half stood up from the table. “You’re afraid? Of me?”
“No. I’m afraid of telling you something that I know you won’t like.”
“But you told all the others?” He slumped back into his chair, but his expression was already of the miserable variety.
She nodded and a tear escaped down one cheek. “I’m not ready to tell you. I’m not sure what you’ll say.” Valerie wiped the moisture from her face quickly, stood up and came around the table. He scooted back and she straddled h
is lap. Taking his face between her hands she kissed him gently and cursed herself when a sob released from her throat.
“Tell me. I need to know. I can’t touch you until I do.”
“The problem is that once I tell you I’m afraid you won’t want to touch me anymore.”
He slipped his arms around her waist and hugged. “There isn’t anything you could tell me that would keep me from wanting to touch you.” His relaxed expression prompted her to confess.
“As you are well aware by now, I’ve been having nightmares. And I’m pretty sure that I’ve figured out why.”
“Good. What caused them?”
“I have a favorite.” As soon as the word came out she closed her eyes, unwilling to see what she assumed would be pain or anger on his features. Taking a deep breath, Valerie opened her eyes slowly and gazed into his confused ones.
“A favorite?” He smiled in a winsome way as if trying to figure things out. “Like a favorite mate?”
She sighed. “Yes.”
His brows furrowed. “Why?”
“Why do I have a favorite? I don’t know.” She shifted uncomfortably on his lap and tried to stand up, but he stilled her by clamping his arms around her body.
“No. Why was it so hard to tell me?”
“Because everyone else thinks it’s you.”
“Me? Why me?” His panicked expression gave her hope for the first time all evening.
“I don’t want you to be mad either way.”
He unwound his arms from her slowly. “Valerie,” he whispered. A hand came up and wiped down his face.
“Take me to bed, Hauser.”
“Valerie.” He repeated her name in another whisper and stood up, allowing her to slide to the floor away from him. “We need to resolve this first.”
“Why? Bed first. Resolution later.”
“Valerie.”
“You can keep saying my name, but it won’t change anything.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Valerie watched him closely.
A long sigh escaped his lips. “I love you, Valerie. I have from the first moment I laid eyes on you.”
“Oh!” Valerie’s eyes welled up with tears. She threw her arms around him so he wouldn’t see the look of anguish she must have on her face. This was bad. He did think he was the one. How could she tell him he wasn’t?
Hauser hugged her and let out a long sigh. “Let me finish, Valerie. The thing is, I have particular tastes. And while I think you are perfect, physically you aren’t quite the type of woman I typically prefer.” His fingers traced the length of her spine slowly as if counting the discs along the journey.
She pulled away, studied his tormented face and tilted her head with the sudden realization that she was mistaken about his initial discomfort. “You aren’t my favorite, Hauser.”
His whole body slumped. “Thank God.”
“When we met I got the impression that you thought I was to your tastes.”
Taking her chin in his fingers. “And you are. Still want to go to bed now?”
“No. I want to know how I’m not to your tastes.”
He frowned. “What difference does it make?”
“None, I guess. I just want to know.”
Hauser rolled his eyes and looked at the ceiling a moment before piercing her with a serious look. “I hope I don’t end up regretting this.”
“You won’t. I’m just curious.”
“Fine. The truth is, I like women with more meat on them. When we met you were a little skinny for my tastes, but…”
“But I’ve lost some weight since I’ve been here.”
“And I’ve mourned each pound, but as skinny as you are now, I still think you’re perfect. I wouldn’t change anything and I’d still select you from the gauntlet arena if I were given the option today.”
“Do you know who my favorite is?”
His eyes narrowed as if considering his response before a grin lit his face. “Now that I think about it for a second, I’d say Dominick, right?”
“How did you know?”
“It’s more in the way he looks at you than the other way around, but I remember a particular dance long ago at the first social event. You two moved like a single person and not two. Was that when you knew?”
She nodded. “Took me a while to act on it. I didn’t want anyone else to suspect or be upset about it.”
“You two are perfect for each other. I’m glad.”
“Why glad?”
“Because you’ve never changed anything with regard to the rest of us. After you discovered your preference, you didn’t suddenly put the rest of us on minimum rations. And I’m sure Dominick would not have argued the point if you’d wanted to do that. It’s understandable. You shouldn’t feel guilty, but it’s your personality.” He shrugged. “It’s what makes you the kind of person you are. We’re lucky that you took a chance on me and refused to accept any other back on day one. You could have.”
“Good thing I hadn’t gone through orientation, otherwise I wouldn’t even have been allowed at that particular gauntlet arena gathering.”
“Fate smiled on us.” Hauser slid his hands to her face and pressed his mouth tenderly across her lips until she grabbed him close.
“Are you finally taking me to bed?” she murmured with an amused tone.
“If you’ll let me.”
“I’d never stop you. Nothing will change, I promise.”
“Good.” He pulled away to stare deeply into her eyes. “I do love you, Valerie. I’ve never once regretted that I chose you for our group. Not once.”
“Thank you.” Valerie was feeling very odd. She thought she’d feel different once everyone knew. She was her own worst enemy as far as her morals and idiot ethics were concerned. In a bold moment designed more for her own lack of audacious behavior than any other reason, she cupped his groin and gripped his cock, squeezing until she got his reaction.
It was lightning fast.
Eyes widening as pupils went black, Valerie knew she had his attention.
“What are you doing?” His whisper sent a spike of desire down her body. Hauser was usually a take-charge guy. He always made the first move. Although each time she squeezed his cock, it pulsed in her hand.
“I thought you’d enjoy a little power transfer for once.” She kissed his chin and slid to her knees. “How do you feel about oral stimulation?” Without waiting for his answer, she unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his pants and had the zipper down before he responded.
“It’s not allowed here, but I love it.” His strangled reply made her smile.
“Well, just don’t come in my mouth.” Valerie reached beneath his shorts and sucked his cock between her lips.
“Jesus.” His reverent whisper gave her the courage to continue. His hand stroked the top of her head lightly, but he didn’t try to stop her.
Oral sex to completion wasn’t allowed for men because of the stupid rule governing sperm waste, but it was quite an attention-getter for foreplay. Valerie couldn’t resist the shock tactic and as such, she’d planned ahead. Underneath her skirt she wore nothing. Perhaps she’d manage another surprise for Hauser before the night was over.
“Valerie. I can’t... You’ve got to…” Hauser’s impassioned words trailed off and he jerked once. Valerie figured he’d hit his oral sensation limit. If orgasm were imminent, he’d feel sharp pain not pleasure. She stopped sucking and pulled her mouth from his granite erection.
“Walk backwards two steps, Hauser,” she commanded. He shuffled back and landed on his butt in the center of the sofa. The half-lidded expression of pure lust on his face as he looked up made her efforts worth the embarrassment.
His cock, thickly erect, thrust upwards through his clothing. Valerie stepped between his legs. Grasping the bottom front of her skirt she lifted it to reveal her propitious lack of under things. Hauser made a noise like a groan of appreciation. His eyes slid shut and his cock pulsed once.
Vale
rie straddled him and pressed her wet and heated pussy over the tip of his engorged dick. His eyes opened again slowly.
“Damn, Valerie. What’s gotten into you tonight?”
She laughed and impaled him deeply into her body. “I don’t know what you mean, Hauser. Your cock’s the only thing into me tonight.”
He groaned again. His hips thrust up at the same time that she pushed down and seconds later he was fully embedded inside her wet, slick pussy. Her vaginal walls clenched his cock once in gratitude of the fabulous feeling as soon as his tip brushed her womb.
Valerie slipped her arms around his shoulders as he buried his face into her throat to nibble. The seductive rhythm of their hips commenced as she realized what being naughty and sneaky did for her own sexual experience. She was getting hot.
Hauser trailed his nibbling mouth along her collarbone, stopping only long enough to rip her shirt open. Buttons flew across the cushions of the sofa as he scraped his teeth across the nipple of her breast over the lace of her bra.
Need engulfed her as she ripped the rest of her shirt off and pulled the bra over her head with it. Hauser’s hot, wet mouth closed over the tip of her breast and she almost came as the pull of suction from his mouth registered in her pulsing core.
She slammed her hips down for a deeper connection and he sunk his teeth gently into her ultra sensitive, very wet nipple.
Valerie screamed. She couldn’t articulate any words as she climaxed, which was probably good. Mindless as she was in the throes of orgasm, she would still hate to scream the wrong name.
Ripples of pleasure sped across her body and her mind went to a place she wished it wouldn’t go. While she loved each of her mates independently and each gave her tremendous satisfaction when they were together, Dominick was the man she always wished she were with during and immediately after she climaxed. His name was the one she screamed in her mind each time.
Hauser thrust his hips upward, pushing his cock inside her deeply twice more and grunting his release before he whispered her name repeatedly, hugging her close. Valerie leaned forward and kissed the side of his face. I love you, Hauser, she said in the privacy of her own mind. A part of her loved each of the men in this crazy world.
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